HEY IM STILL ALIVE HAHA....yeah...thats too bad huh. Well im actually tired for the second time in my life so i'm about to go to bed or something. I'm pretty sure nobody looks at this anymore so whatever, i just do it in a feeble attempt to cling on to that miniscule tidbit of sanity that has somehow stayed with me this far. I was going to say ( Read more... )

Gyarr!!! Yeah well...uh huh. gonna go on another overnight canoe trip this weekend, get really really messed up, and see what happens. Good, bad, life threatening, whatever. dont really care anymore. I'm just going to go crazy when i leave, sounds like a plan to me. I need to find all my stuff first though, shouldnt need that much. wish i could ( Read more... )

I dont know why i even try to find someone that can attemp to understand or like me. Not even both, just one or the other would be great. But no, i cant even seem to find anybody that would even consider the possibility of being with me. I dont know whats wrong with me. Or if there is anything wrong with me. I hate listening to people fight about ( Read more... )

i dont think i really have anything to say. why do i try so hard to get people to even think about liking me? why go through all of it? what the hell is wrong with me, so much that pretty much anybody that knows me gets pissed off at me about something i did or didnt do or said or didnt say? i have a lot of questions going through my mind right now ( Read more... )

I'm not really sure why i decided to write in this again...especially now. There's just so much going on that i have no control over and no matter how much i try to do something, i just keep getting screwed over. Theres not really anything i can do about it either, even if there were, i doubt i would do it. I'd probably just end up making it worse ( Read more... )

umm......yep... is it just because im nice to people that they take advantage of me any way they can think of? no sleep last night, due to a so called "friend" that did something and got left somewhere and i was going to bring home then said dont worry about it and did some really stupid things after that and really pissed me off by hanging up on ( Read more... )

hmm....hate to write even more depressing stuff in here, but... i think i finally snapped. i dont really care anymore, i just kinda stopped? i couldnt stop thinking about anything today, gave myself the worst migrane i've ever had, maybe its blood pressure, maybe my brain is gonna exlode, we'll never know. but anyways, i was just sitting here ( Read more... )

ever have one of those "friends" that talks about you to his other friends behind your back...kinda, only that he's sitting with a computer screen facing you...not a smart move. sitting there complaining to a friend from work about me. because i have nowhere else to fucking live, and im staying in his room. like i have a damn choice. I HAVE NOWHERE ( Read more... )

i dont think im allowed to have anything good. maybe it just wasn't meant for me.i could just be a dumbass and not notice other people around me, but it doesnt feel like that, feels more like the opposite.i cant really go out and meet anyone else either. i dont like to go to places where people hang out and other than that, i dont really have any ( Read more... )

somebody that i really cared for told me something last night. i cant describe how much it hurt. i dont even want to think about it but i cant help it. almost every minute that im awake i have a damn migrane. has anyone else ever thought so much that it literally hurts? i saw four shooting stars last night too, could've been some kind of sign... if ( Read more... )