This is entirely ivy03's fault
A meme too good to resist! I think that's how both ivy03 and deltagrl phrased it, and with good reason:
Name five totally self-indulgent story ideas. (The fanfic you wouldwrite if you didn't care if you had an audience and also had no shame.)
1) Rose becomes a TARDIS. This is the idea I've been kicking around in my brain as a reaction to all the stupid Rose-becomes-a-time-lady stories. I really hate them, even as I guilty enjoy the better ones. I think my excuse is that I like the TARDIS better than the Time Lord, so I'd rather she become the method of travel than the traveler. I am so weird. But I do buy that, at least, Rose should be different from the events in "The Parting of the Ways" and I think it would be lovely if the TARDIS weren't alone in the universe (the Doctor? Meh, he's cute when he's emo, so let him be by his lonesome). The TARDIS is like my favorite character, and I would love to read a fic about how one gets TARDISes, which I would explain with the transformation bits.
2) A Voltron story where Lance and the Princess got together. Not because I like them, but because Lance needs to get some, and she's available. I have always liked the snarky second-in-command better than the heroic leader asshole in any series. And Lance is awesome.
3) More Futurama. Uh, that's not really something I'd write (I couldn't, is the problem), but I want some.
4) The following people would form a club and ignore everyone not in it because they are assholes: The Chief, Sam Anders, Racetrack, Hotdog, and Billy (who is not dead). They would sit there and lament the fact that everyone around them has risen to the challenges of being the last remnants of humanity by becoming utter jerks, crazy people, murderers, freaks, and hypocrites. They would want for nothing because they would all be better friends with each other than they would find anywhere else, and they'd break off, go back to Caprica with anti-rad meds, or Kobol and just live out their lives in peace, away from the rat race with the Cylons and the asshole humans. In the end, it would turn out that they were the final five Cylons, a fact they cotton onto when they don't ever die, and they laugh at what a bunch of stupid bullshit it was to have any other Cylon models (also mostly assholes) and go back to the Cylon base planet to eradicate every trace of them, too. This is sort of a joke, but not really.
5) Instead of the official sequels, the end of The Matrix story line would go something like this: with Neo as a weapon, the Resistance pulls as many people as it can sustain and needs to start a stable population (say, 40,000?!), and detonates the Matrix, killing all inside.
This is when someone finally puts two and two together and realizes that keeping the humans alive in the Matrix took more energy than it generated, and that the machines have actually, "benevolently," kept humans alive as part of their original programing gone twisted (they waged war and killed humans in an effort to study how preservable vs fragile humans are). They have relied predominantly on fusion technology to sustain themselves and ignored the problem of the global blackout as not in their interest. Prior to the shutdown of the Matrix, they offer to fix the sky-scorching and release the saved biodata on plant and animal life that they'd taken over from the human stockpile and set Earth back up. Their bluff called, the humans proven intractably stupid and pigheaded, they leave them alone.
The humans, forced to rely and survive on what little heat the core of the planet generates and protein mush from chemosynthetic organisms, aren't hardy at all, and, before they begin to die off irrevocably, go back to the machines and ask for help. The Matrix is constructed again, thus making the cycling of it, the need for it, and the machine/program's contempt for it actually make fucking sense. The punishment for killing billions is that none except Neo are left to know what has happened. By the time the first batch is ready to be booted out of the Matrix again, he's old, and he tells them that this will happen again. Because, though the real world is real, it is every bit the struggle and misery that the fake one is because people can't live with nothing to strive for. He tells them to look for the One again because that is part of the bargain with the machines and the terrible price that he pays for saving humanity. Later, code will be altered for the One to arise again, and pretty soon it's the year five billion and the machines just leave the humans to blow up because they never had the guts to let themselves die in the first place. The machines? Still not assholes.
That last one? Made it up here on the spot? I flatter myself that it would still have been better than the shiite crapped out by the Wachowskis.
Name five totally self-indulgent story ideas. (The fanfic you wouldwrite if you didn't care if you had an audience and also had no shame.)
1) Rose becomes a TARDIS. This is the idea I've been kicking around in my brain as a reaction to all the stupid Rose-becomes-a-time-lady stories. I really hate them, even as I guilty enjoy the better ones. I think my excuse is that I like the TARDIS better than the Time Lord, so I'd rather she become the method of travel than the traveler. I am so weird. But I do buy that, at least, Rose should be different from the events in "The Parting of the Ways" and I think it would be lovely if the TARDIS weren't alone in the universe (the Doctor? Meh, he's cute when he's emo, so let him be by his lonesome). The TARDIS is like my favorite character, and I would love to read a fic about how one gets TARDISes, which I would explain with the transformation bits.
2) A Voltron story where Lance and the Princess got together. Not because I like them, but because Lance needs to get some, and she's available. I have always liked the snarky second-in-command better than the heroic leader asshole in any series. And Lance is awesome.
3) More Futurama. Uh, that's not really something I'd write (I couldn't, is the problem), but I want some.
4) The following people would form a club and ignore everyone not in it because they are assholes: The Chief, Sam Anders, Racetrack, Hotdog, and Billy (who is not dead). They would sit there and lament the fact that everyone around them has risen to the challenges of being the last remnants of humanity by becoming utter jerks, crazy people, murderers, freaks, and hypocrites. They would want for nothing because they would all be better friends with each other than they would find anywhere else, and they'd break off, go back to Caprica with anti-rad meds, or Kobol and just live out their lives in peace, away from the rat race with the Cylons and the asshole humans. In the end, it would turn out that they were the final five Cylons, a fact they cotton onto when they don't ever die, and they laugh at what a bunch of stupid bullshit it was to have any other Cylon models (also mostly assholes) and go back to the Cylon base planet to eradicate every trace of them, too. This is sort of a joke, but not really.
5) Instead of the official sequels, the end of The Matrix story line would go something like this: with Neo as a weapon, the Resistance pulls as many people as it can sustain and needs to start a stable population (say, 40,000?!), and detonates the Matrix, killing all inside.
This is when someone finally puts two and two together and realizes that keeping the humans alive in the Matrix took more energy than it generated, and that the machines have actually, "benevolently," kept humans alive as part of their original programing gone twisted (they waged war and killed humans in an effort to study how preservable vs fragile humans are). They have relied predominantly on fusion technology to sustain themselves and ignored the problem of the global blackout as not in their interest. Prior to the shutdown of the Matrix, they offer to fix the sky-scorching and release the saved biodata on plant and animal life that they'd taken over from the human stockpile and set Earth back up. Their bluff called, the humans proven intractably stupid and pigheaded, they leave them alone.
The humans, forced to rely and survive on what little heat the core of the planet generates and protein mush from chemosynthetic organisms, aren't hardy at all, and, before they begin to die off irrevocably, go back to the machines and ask for help. The Matrix is constructed again, thus making the cycling of it, the need for it, and the machine/program's contempt for it actually make fucking sense. The punishment for killing billions is that none except Neo are left to know what has happened. By the time the first batch is ready to be booted out of the Matrix again, he's old, and he tells them that this will happen again. Because, though the real world is real, it is every bit the struggle and misery that the fake one is because people can't live with nothing to strive for. He tells them to look for the One again because that is part of the bargain with the machines and the terrible price that he pays for saving humanity. Later, code will be altered for the One to arise again, and pretty soon it's the year five billion and the machines just leave the humans to blow up because they never had the guts to let themselves die in the first place. The machines? Still not assholes.
That last one? Made it up here on the spot? I flatter myself that it would still have been better than the shiite crapped out by the Wachowskis.