Tonight I Wanna Cry
Title: Tonight I Wanna Cry
Author: darkentwisted
Characters/Pairings: Much/Little John, Kate. Mentions: Robin
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst.
Words: 550
Disclaimer: BBC & TA own; If I did, it would be called Denial.
Spoilers: MAJOR SPOILER FOR 3X13! DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED YET!
Betaed by the incredible robinfanatic and wastingyourgum.
Summary: Much finds comfort in a friend.
Tonight I Wanna Cry
by
Darkentwisted
The manor house was exactly the same as he remembered it. The previous occupant did not even care to redecorate. He looked around the great hall. The house was silent, save for the memories that echoed through his mind.
This wasn't right! He should be here enjoying this, tasting his victory, loving his woman but it was just not to be.
The others were celebrating. Tomorrow they would deal with the reality of a king held captive, a greedy prince in control of the country and a shire uncertain. Tonight they will honor their fallen martyrs.
Baths were drawn and a feast was waiting for the surviving heroes but he wanted none of it. Kate appeared, red eyed but freshly scrubbed. She smiled at him kindly to come join them but he shook his head, not even looking up to see her in her new dress. Disappointment and hurt flashed across her face. She brought him a wineskin, leaving it at his side by the fire. Fresh tears took her out of the room. Any other time he would attempt to comfort her but now he comforted no one, not even himself.
"You are your own man now." Robin's voice whispered in his ears but he knew it was untrue. He was lost and alone in the world. There was nothing to be glad for. He looked at the stained and worn cap in his hand. It was long a badge of his servitude, now it was just cloth. He watched the flames consume it without even realizing he had tossed it in the hearth.
He stood by the fire, running hands through his dirty blond hair and taking a sip of the strong wine. "God's speed, my friends."
"God's speed."
The voice behind him would have made him lurch any other time but for some reason tonight, the devil himself could have been at his back and he wouldn't have cared.
"John." He reached behind without looking, handing his friend the wineskin.
John took it and gulped greedily at the beverage fit for a sheriff and pilfered from the castle's private stock. He then looked at his sad friend in front of the flames. "You need to eat."
"I'm not hungry," Much reasoned bluntly.
"Then you certainly need to bathe," John said, as if he were scolding his own son.
"Later."
"Its been three days, Much! You can't go on this way. Robin is..."
"Dead! I know that, John." The flames consumed his eyes as he watched them and he wished they could consume his soul as well.
"Come here."
"No."
"Much..."
"No, John. Cos, if I see you it will be true, and if it's true it will be over. In here, away from everyone else that knew him, I can just pretend Robin is away and will be back soon, just like before we left Locksley to fight that stupid war. So just go, and leave me, in my master's house, in peace."
Without a sound, the giant came up behind the former servant and embraced him. "Then don't look. I'm not here. Just let it out."
Much clutched at his friend's arm across his chest as the tears fell.