I feel numb. It just hit me like a wave. Oh well. You deal with the consequences of your decisions. It wouldn’t have worked out anyways. I guess I can say I got the final word. Woo hoo I guess ( Read more... )

I’m gonna get up do my skincare routine, brush my teeth, get some water, and take my vitamins and melatonin and sleep. I’ll get up early and get to work. I’m not dead. I’m not going to die. I’ve been heartbroken before. I’ve been lonely before too. Life goes on.

Here I am shouting into the void again crying because I’m upset. Upset at myself for being an asshole upset at Aimee for reaching out to me mad at the world because we are in a godamn recession and people still want to vote for trump. We are on the steady March to idiocracy and I’m gonna suffer through it alone because I’m an asshole. I just can’t ( Read more... )

I’m so angry. I’m tired of being angry. I can’t believe how shitty people can be sometimes. I just wanted to be left alone so I can heal but no I cracked the door open and I let it happen to myself. I can’t believe I did this to myself. I just need to be alone. I am a jerk anyways. I just am tired of being alone. It doesn’t matter. I don’t matter.

I’m tired of feeling broken inside. I’m tired of being quiet. I’m just tired of feeling tired ( Read more... )

The hardest part about my loneliness is being touch starved. It’s such an awful feeling. I get hugs from my son but it’s not the same as being held and to be honest, I really good use a hug. I just want to cry and be taken care of… and that sucks for someone to deal with.

I feel particularly lonely today and I am happy today it’s not 100 percent a romantic interest this time either but honestly that curve was so hard it was a right angle but tbh it’s only like 7% percent of what’s upsetting me ( Read more... )

Another day, another ramble. I hate this bipolar weather. It was so nice this morning weekend but it was hailing on my way to work this morning ( Read more... )

What a shitty day to be sad about someone I haven’t seen or heard from in a long time. Ugh. It’s not even a real holiday. I had gone most of the day not thinking about it but I was talking with my mom on the way home when I realized that I felt lonely today ( Read more... )

There is something liberating about doing things on your own. I went to salon and got my hair washed, cut, and styled and now I’m having a nice cocktail before I got home ( Read more... )