Comments | transient_words: [fic] Kami

transient_words

[fic] Kami

Jun 17, 2009 19:22

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.

Rating: R/NC-17

Summary: May I kiss your feet, Kami? Light/Mikami, hints of L/Light.

( Read more... )

smut, one-shot, fic, death note

Comments 7

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transient_words June 19 2009, 17:49:05 UTC

Oh, thank you <33!

I think placing emphasis on the sex would have been boring? The power play is more fascinating to explore. And I'm glad Light's characterisation worked for you!

reikai_chibi June 18 2009, 19:28:15 UTC

Wondeful. I second the comment above mine^^

transient_words June 19 2009, 17:53:38 UTC

Thank you! Glad you derived some pleasure from this!

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transient_words June 19 2009, 17:56:03 UTC

*blushes*

Thank you! I'm glad I made this work for you!

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transient_words June 25 2009, 19:10:07 UTC

So, first off thank you - I've not had criticism this detailed in quite a while, and it helps ( ... )

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transient_words June 25 2009, 20:13:53 UTC

Hmm, I used to write too much imagery. Now, I do it less. I think it's a reaction of having always heard "use your symbolism sparsely". And I think that I might have taken this too much to heart. And just because I know something doesn't mean I always do in my writing. Reading a lot does not immediately a good writer make. I stumble, but will continue writing in the hopes of becoming better, one day. This comment just spurs me on try better. So, thank you.

You hammered the point home. You hammered the point home and then continued to hammer it until it cracked the surface you were working on. There are times where repeating words looks smooth and natural, and there are times when it's just awkward. This was awkward.

If you phrase it this way, I get it. It hurts, but I agree.

These lines are awkward because yes, the structure is strange, and the two thoughts seem to be incredibly stilted and jerky. Perhaps it's the wording. They are repetitive because "Mikami, being who he was" basically just continues to beat the point of " ( ... )

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