I don't have much to help with, just words that you're not alone. I've been on T for over a year and just had top surgery this past friday. I can't look in the mirror, and cry several times a week because I just feel so disgustingly ugly. I hope that you're able to overcome these feelings though, and don't get to the stage where I'm at. And really, I don't think you're ugly. You look plenty attractive to me presenting as both genders, and I really like your current haircut - I was never able to pull off any kind of hawk!
I wish I had your haircut. Not that that's super comforting, but you're making me jealous.
As for suggestions, more formal clothing couldn't hurt. Most guys look spiffy in a jacket and tie. If that's too old fogey for you you could try a sport coat with a t-shirt like the one you've got on with a pair of jeans. Even though your hair is really spiffy as-is you might also try a hat. You look like the kind of guy who could pull off a cool hat.
I feel you on the size thing. You might try looking at secondhand stores like Goodwill or whatever your local equivalent is. They're inexpensive and carry a huge variety of styles. You might discover something you really love.
The plain shirt + open dress shirt is another one of my favorite looks. It's great for hiding your chest and your overall body shape.
One other thing you might consider (and I realize this is highly individual) is a tattoo or other body mod. They're permanent, shouldn't be rushed, only if you really want one, they cost money, what have you. I'm only mentioning it because after getting my tattoo I feel better about my body. It's a very personal design that's related to my transition and it's placed in a way that balances out the scars on my chest. Getting it made me feel much more attractive. So... it worked for me. Just sharing.
Your picture doesn't have a beanie in it and you don't look hideous there. :)
Before coming out to myself and beginning my social transition, I made a really attractive girl and took a lot of pride in my appearance. (Honestly though, I could only relate to myself as a sex object or object of attraction. I had to objectify myself to be okay with myself. I didn't know I was doing this at the time, but I definitely see it now.) My face is very "pretty"--which, pre-T, does not translate well into my trans/queer identity. I first started exploring my gender by falling into some kind of butch phase, and I realized that even though I liked men's clothes and felt good looking more masculine, I thought I was pretty unattractive a lot of the time. I put a lot less effort into my appearance, but just attributed it to the ~manliness~ I had embodied. Now that I've figured out that I'm a boy, but femme...I've gotten to a point where I both find myself attractive AND like who I see in the mirror
( ... )
YES that's what I had too, I was like, "oh I can't do this because then I won't 'pass' or look male/masculine," but once I got the fuck over that and just dressed like myself, it was much better. And to my surprise, I get read as male much more often now--I used to look like a butch lesbian, now I look like a gay guy. :D
Oh, and stopping with my bullshit forced butch mannerisms was really helpful too. I started making a conscious effort to be myself and realized I feel much more attractive (and more like myself) walking with a swish than with a swagger.
That's good advise. One of the best things anyone has said for my confidence was that I'm a pretty boy because my face is feminine, from a total stranger. It made me realise there's not a way to be a man or to 'pass' so I need to chillax and be comfortable.
I have to say from my exp. is that I felt ugly Pre T and since going on T I have felt a lot hotter/cuter. I actually get hit on in real life now compare to pre T where I never did.
Heh, I think some guys I know made really ugly girls pre-T but they're super hot afterwards. Sometimes it's just that they were really bad at being a girl. :P
I got hit on and hooted at and harassed all the time as a girl. I'm curious to see if anyone hits on me after I'm on T for a while.
I don't have a lot in the way of advice, but like nightefaice I think you're definitely attractive.
You mention in a comment your haircut is at a "gross length" right now, so that might be the first step--getting it cut to where you want it again. I know for me, the right hairstyle made a HUGE difference in my appearance and confidence.
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I hope that you're able to overcome these feelings though, and don't get to the stage where I'm at. And really, I don't think you're ugly. You look plenty attractive to me presenting as both genders, and I really like your current haircut - I was never able to pull off any kind of hawk!
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As for suggestions, more formal clothing couldn't hurt. Most guys look spiffy in a jacket and tie. If that's too old fogey for you you could try a sport coat with a t-shirt like the one you've got on with a pair of jeans. Even though your hair is really spiffy as-is you might also try a hat. You look like the kind of guy who could pull off a cool hat.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
The plain shirt + open dress shirt is another one of my favorite looks. It's great for hiding your chest and your overall body shape.
One other thing you might consider (and I realize this is highly individual) is a tattoo or other body mod. They're permanent, shouldn't be rushed, only if you really want one, they cost money, what have you. I'm only mentioning it because after getting my tattoo I feel better about my body. It's a very personal design that's related to my transition and it's placed in a way that balances out the scars on my chest. Getting it made me feel much more attractive. So... it worked for me. Just sharing.
Your picture doesn't have a beanie in it and you don't look hideous there. :)
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(The comment has been removed)
Oh, and stopping with my bullshit forced butch mannerisms was really helpful too. I started making a conscious effort to be myself and realized I feel much more attractive (and more like myself) walking with a swish than with a swagger.
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I got hit on and hooted at and harassed all the time as a girl. I'm curious to see if anyone hits on me after I'm on T for a while.
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You mention in a comment your haircut is at a "gross length" right now, so that might be the first step--getting it cut to where you want it again. I know for me, the right hairstyle made a HUGE difference in my appearance and confidence.
Reply
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