Left Behind (Doctor, Jack)
Title: Left Behind
Author: szm
Rating: G
Characters: Doctor, Jack
A/N This is apparently what I do instead of sleep! This isn't betaed, if someone would like to offer to beta things from this universe that would be very useful, and I would be very grateful. I don't want to ask someone who isn't reading this universe, that doesn't seem fair.
The Doctor was sitting next to where the TARDIS had been. Jack watched him from the invisible lift, not sure what to say. Not sure of his own feelings.
“I can see you, you know. I’m not moving until he brings my TARDIS back.” The Doctor had a stubborn expression that would put the average three year old to shame. Jack sighed and walked over sitting heavily next to the Doctor.
“This is Cardiff. Sooner or later it’s going to rain. If I let you catch pneumonia Ianto will kill me.”
“You won’t have to worry about it because I’m going to kill him when he gets back.”
Jack couldn’t help it, he laughed.
The Doctor frowned. “He stole my TARDIS!” he exclaimed indignantly
“Horrible isn’t it? Watching it disappear without you?”
The Doctor didn’t reply to that.
“Look Doc, if you’re going to be involved with Ianto Jones there’s something you need to remember. You don’t know him. Not really. Just when you think you’ve got him figured out he’ll pull a stunt like this.” Jack looked at his feet, apparently the most interesting things in Cardiff.
The Doctor stared at the space that used to contain the TARDIS. “So what? We have the warm fluffy moment he seems to want us to have and then he comes back. Then what?”
Jack jumped to his feet, suddenly angry. “I don’t know! You take him away from me again and leave me on my own because I’m wrong.”
The Doctor looked up at the other man. “Jack…” he started.
“You know what? He has a knack for picking impossible causes. The universe doesn’t always work out the way Ianto wants. Stay out here all night, do whatever you want.”
The Doctor watched Jack stalk off back to the hub.
The knowledge that he probably deserves this doesn’t make it any easier.
**
Jack gets back to his office in record time. He really wants to cry, he can feel the tears behind his eyes, and he has to hold on to the anger because that’s the only thing that’s keeping them at bay.
He checks the CCTV to find the Doctor is gone. And it’s started to rain.
Jack slumps into his chair, studying the top of his desk so intently that he doesn’t notice the Doctor standing in the doorway.
“Jack?”
Jack jumped slightly. “I thought you’d gone.”
The Doctor didn’t say anything but the ‘I don’t have anywhere to go’ hung between them anyway.
“Why the hell did you take him away in the first place?” asked Jack suddenly standing up and staring at the Doctor across the desk. Feeling stronger now he’s on his own turf.
“Because he asked me,” replied the Doctor. “You didn’t object.”
“How could I? What the hell could I have offered that would have compared? You should have told him no.”
“Why?” asked the Doctor hotly. “Everything doesn’t revolve around you Jack!”
“It doesn’t revolve around you either!” shouted Jack.
“He would have stayed if you’d asked him. Then none of us would be in this mess.” The Doctor shouted back.
“So it’s my fault! You swan in and turn my life upside down yet again and it’s my fault?”
“You didn’t want him Jack. If you had you’d have said something. Jack Harkness, same as always, only wanting people he can’t have.”
“Like you’re any better. Did you ever tell Rose how you felt?”
“Don’t bring Rose into this, that was different. She wouldn’t have understood.” The Doctor looked away but Jack was too worked up to stop.
“And you get to decide that. Who the hell told you that you could just play with our lives like this? You know what? I’m glad Ianto ran off with your TARDIS, now maybe you can see what it’s like for the rest of us.” Jack can see he’s hurting the Doctor. But he’s hurting and he wants to lash out and he can’t seem to stop.
“I can’t be like you Jack. I’m not like you. There’s nobody like me anymore.”
“Gee,” said Jack bitterly. “I wonder what that’s like?”
“I can’t change it Jack, it’s a fact.”
“What, that I’m broken? That I’m wrong.”
“Will you get over that? I can’t change how I feel.”
Jack sat back down it the chair, all fight suddenly gone. “I was only there because of you,” he said quietly.
“I know.”
“I changed, and you didn’t want me, and I had to build something for myself. Then you came and took the best part of that away too.”
The Doctor doesn’t know what to say to that. Doesn’t know what to do with Jack’s anger and pain. He can’t quite focus properly, the grandfather clock is ticking. Slow and steady.
Tick, tock. And Jack’s looking at him like he can fix everything.
Tick, tock.
Tick, tock. And he can’t, he never could.
Tick, tock.
Tick, to... “Dear god, can’t you shut that bloody thing up!” he shouts. Jack gets up and stops the pendulum. The ticking stops but the Doctor can still feel it, linear time dragging across every nerve, combining with the general sense of wrongness coming from Jack. He feels trapped and two steps away from shattering into a million pieces.
“I want to go home,” he says somewhat pathetically.
He sees Jack push all his pain away, into a space deep inside himself. He knows that isn’t healthy but he can’t deal with it right now so he lets him. Let’s Jack grin, and apologise for being ‘tetchy’. Lets him crack a joke and promise to make Ianto do Owen’s expense account when he gets back as punishment.
He shows the Doctor to a spare bedroom off the main part of the hub. One Tosh or Owen use when they have an experiment they don’t want to leave. Jack makes the expected joke about warming the bed for him and the Doctor knocks him back gently, same dance as always.
Then he’s alone.
Tick, tock.
Author: szm
Rating: G
Characters: Doctor, Jack
A/N This is apparently what I do instead of sleep! This isn't betaed, if someone would like to offer to beta things from this universe that would be very useful, and I would be very grateful. I don't want to ask someone who isn't reading this universe, that doesn't seem fair.
The Doctor was sitting next to where the TARDIS had been. Jack watched him from the invisible lift, not sure what to say. Not sure of his own feelings.
“I can see you, you know. I’m not moving until he brings my TARDIS back.” The Doctor had a stubborn expression that would put the average three year old to shame. Jack sighed and walked over sitting heavily next to the Doctor.
“This is Cardiff. Sooner or later it’s going to rain. If I let you catch pneumonia Ianto will kill me.”
“You won’t have to worry about it because I’m going to kill him when he gets back.”
Jack couldn’t help it, he laughed.
The Doctor frowned. “He stole my TARDIS!” he exclaimed indignantly
“Horrible isn’t it? Watching it disappear without you?”
The Doctor didn’t reply to that.
“Look Doc, if you’re going to be involved with Ianto Jones there’s something you need to remember. You don’t know him. Not really. Just when you think you’ve got him figured out he’ll pull a stunt like this.” Jack looked at his feet, apparently the most interesting things in Cardiff.
The Doctor stared at the space that used to contain the TARDIS. “So what? We have the warm fluffy moment he seems to want us to have and then he comes back. Then what?”
Jack jumped to his feet, suddenly angry. “I don’t know! You take him away from me again and leave me on my own because I’m wrong.”
The Doctor looked up at the other man. “Jack…” he started.
“You know what? He has a knack for picking impossible causes. The universe doesn’t always work out the way Ianto wants. Stay out here all night, do whatever you want.”
The Doctor watched Jack stalk off back to the hub.
The knowledge that he probably deserves this doesn’t make it any easier.
**
Jack gets back to his office in record time. He really wants to cry, he can feel the tears behind his eyes, and he has to hold on to the anger because that’s the only thing that’s keeping them at bay.
He checks the CCTV to find the Doctor is gone. And it’s started to rain.
Jack slumps into his chair, studying the top of his desk so intently that he doesn’t notice the Doctor standing in the doorway.
“Jack?”
Jack jumped slightly. “I thought you’d gone.”
The Doctor didn’t say anything but the ‘I don’t have anywhere to go’ hung between them anyway.
“Why the hell did you take him away in the first place?” asked Jack suddenly standing up and staring at the Doctor across the desk. Feeling stronger now he’s on his own turf.
“Because he asked me,” replied the Doctor. “You didn’t object.”
“How could I? What the hell could I have offered that would have compared? You should have told him no.”
“Why?” asked the Doctor hotly. “Everything doesn’t revolve around you Jack!”
“It doesn’t revolve around you either!” shouted Jack.
“He would have stayed if you’d asked him. Then none of us would be in this mess.” The Doctor shouted back.
“So it’s my fault! You swan in and turn my life upside down yet again and it’s my fault?”
“You didn’t want him Jack. If you had you’d have said something. Jack Harkness, same as always, only wanting people he can’t have.”
“Like you’re any better. Did you ever tell Rose how you felt?”
“Don’t bring Rose into this, that was different. She wouldn’t have understood.” The Doctor looked away but Jack was too worked up to stop.
“And you get to decide that. Who the hell told you that you could just play with our lives like this? You know what? I’m glad Ianto ran off with your TARDIS, now maybe you can see what it’s like for the rest of us.” Jack can see he’s hurting the Doctor. But he’s hurting and he wants to lash out and he can’t seem to stop.
“I can’t be like you Jack. I’m not like you. There’s nobody like me anymore.”
“Gee,” said Jack bitterly. “I wonder what that’s like?”
“I can’t change it Jack, it’s a fact.”
“What, that I’m broken? That I’m wrong.”
“Will you get over that? I can’t change how I feel.”
Jack sat back down it the chair, all fight suddenly gone. “I was only there because of you,” he said quietly.
“I know.”
“I changed, and you didn’t want me, and I had to build something for myself. Then you came and took the best part of that away too.”
The Doctor doesn’t know what to say to that. Doesn’t know what to do with Jack’s anger and pain. He can’t quite focus properly, the grandfather clock is ticking. Slow and steady.
Tick, tock. And Jack’s looking at him like he can fix everything.
Tick, tock.
Tick, tock. And he can’t, he never could.
Tick, tock.
Tick, to... “Dear god, can’t you shut that bloody thing up!” he shouts. Jack gets up and stops the pendulum. The ticking stops but the Doctor can still feel it, linear time dragging across every nerve, combining with the general sense of wrongness coming from Jack. He feels trapped and two steps away from shattering into a million pieces.
“I want to go home,” he says somewhat pathetically.
He sees Jack push all his pain away, into a space deep inside himself. He knows that isn’t healthy but he can’t deal with it right now so he lets him. Let’s Jack grin, and apologise for being ‘tetchy’. Lets him crack a joke and promise to make Ianto do Owen’s expense account when he gets back as punishment.
He shows the Doctor to a spare bedroom off the main part of the hub. One Tosh or Owen use when they have an experiment they don’t want to leave. Jack makes the expected joke about warming the bed for him and the Doctor knocks him back gently, same dance as always.
Then he’s alone.
Tick, tock.