[Translation] Myojo 0903 Shige -Aoi Hitorigoto- Vol. 33
This essay was from March 09 that was requested by ichigolilly
I wish he'd write more of essays like this rather than the very factual ones lately.
Vol.33 -Question-
Let me make myself clear first. I'll be writing about my own thoughts on life and death but it's my own judgment and bias, so I hope you'll just take it as my monologue. If you are prepared to read this, please don't be pessimistic, I am expecting you to read this as you keep in mind that there is a positive future after reading this. If you think that's impossible, or at the point when you starting thinking like this, it's okay if you turn over to the next page. I will do a self Q&A here about life and death.
Firstly, why is it that we can't kill people? If I have a child and he asks me a question like that, how should I answer? The other day, when I was talking with my friend on this topic, it turned out that there was only one answer. "So, do you want to get killed?" Because you don't want to get killed, you can't kill others. In order to protect yourself, we have a law that prohibits you from killing others. There's no other reason but that. If by any chance, anyone starts to have casual thoughts and not care if you get killed so you'll just kill someone, then you should turn the barrel on yourself first.
So, it is okay to commit suicide? In the past, there was someone who said this. Among all the living things, human beings are the only ones who would commit suicide. It's as if that person is telling me that because of this, it's forgivable for human beings to commit suicide.
I have thought of dying for a number of times. But I have not actually given up on myself or tried to stop breathing. I felt this way. If I have experienced something so painful to the point of dying, then I would have already died once. If you want to give up everything, then you can just be reborn as many times. When I could think like this, I started to feel a little better about living. There is nothing more painful than living. Because if you're not alive, you won't be able to feel anything.
I might be going off topic but a few months ago Moriyama Naotaro-san's song "Ikiteru koto ga tsurai nara" (Note: If it's painful to live on) became a hot talking point for being controversial. The song was featured in that memorable CM with an elderly woman carrying a baby. To be frank, I like that song. It seems to be affirmative of suicide on the surface but it's definitely not. It was just listing out all the choices available when you feel painful. That to me was like saying there's no need to run away from living and dying. Happiness and not sadness is right there. Especially the last phrase.
"If it's painful to live,
leave the joy of dying to the last
If it's painful to live"
On the assumption that everyone has their own interpretation of the lyrics, that's what I thought. Death=joy of dying. Death, whether it's sooner or later it will definitely come someday. There's no need for us to deliberately make our way there. In the time before we head over, isn't it good if we just try to lead a fulfilling life? That's my answer for now.
Let's have one final question. So, why do people live? What's the meaning of life? Why were we born?
...there's no meaning behind it. It's painful precisely because you are looking for meanings. Even if you do find it, I think it will just be an excuse for you to escape from the pain and be fooled by the joy and emotions happening right before you. It might sound sad but I feel liberated when I think like that. But if I were to make a single excuse for myself... When I am reincarnated, I hope to leave a mark on history that's deep enough for the reborn me to know about Kato Shigeaki. In order to do that, I have to be someone that is loved.
The mass of humidity drifting in the sky
Even the moisture in the sighs
Eventually returns home
The immeasurable mass turns into drops of water all too soon
Not knowing
where it might end up
----------------
I've always liked Moriyama Naotaro's songs and this is no exception.
Here's the translated lyrics if you're curious
Song lyrics
Moriyama Naotaro
Ikirukoto ga tsurai nara (If it's painful to live)
If it's painful to live
you just have to die quietly
Your lover and parents might be sad
but life goes on again within three days
When you think about it everyone will grow old
and go to the same place
If it's painful to live
just cry out loud
While you do that, night will turn into day
and you will fall asleep from exhaustion
There's no rule
that only babies cry at night
If it's painful to live
You should just comtemplate the sadness carefully
Sadness will someday
blossom into a flower
Reach out with both hands
not to pluck it but to protect it
From where there is nothing
to where there is nothing
Life that goes round and round
as if nothing ever happened
If it's painful to live
just live until you can't go on anymore
History is a small swing
Universe is a small water hole
If it's painful to live
then leave the joy of dying to the last
~Thanks for reading~
I wish he'd write more of essays like this rather than the very factual ones lately.
Vol.33 -Question-
Let me make myself clear first. I'll be writing about my own thoughts on life and death but it's my own judgment and bias, so I hope you'll just take it as my monologue. If you are prepared to read this, please don't be pessimistic, I am expecting you to read this as you keep in mind that there is a positive future after reading this. If you think that's impossible, or at the point when you starting thinking like this, it's okay if you turn over to the next page. I will do a self Q&A here about life and death.
Firstly, why is it that we can't kill people? If I have a child and he asks me a question like that, how should I answer? The other day, when I was talking with my friend on this topic, it turned out that there was only one answer. "So, do you want to get killed?" Because you don't want to get killed, you can't kill others. In order to protect yourself, we have a law that prohibits you from killing others. There's no other reason but that. If by any chance, anyone starts to have casual thoughts and not care if you get killed so you'll just kill someone, then you should turn the barrel on yourself first.
So, it is okay to commit suicide? In the past, there was someone who said this. Among all the living things, human beings are the only ones who would commit suicide. It's as if that person is telling me that because of this, it's forgivable for human beings to commit suicide.
I have thought of dying for a number of times. But I have not actually given up on myself or tried to stop breathing. I felt this way. If I have experienced something so painful to the point of dying, then I would have already died once. If you want to give up everything, then you can just be reborn as many times. When I could think like this, I started to feel a little better about living. There is nothing more painful than living. Because if you're not alive, you won't be able to feel anything.
I might be going off topic but a few months ago Moriyama Naotaro-san's song "Ikiteru koto ga tsurai nara" (Note: If it's painful to live on) became a hot talking point for being controversial. The song was featured in that memorable CM with an elderly woman carrying a baby. To be frank, I like that song. It seems to be affirmative of suicide on the surface but it's definitely not. It was just listing out all the choices available when you feel painful. That to me was like saying there's no need to run away from living and dying. Happiness and not sadness is right there. Especially the last phrase.
"If it's painful to live,
leave the joy of dying to the last
If it's painful to live"
On the assumption that everyone has their own interpretation of the lyrics, that's what I thought. Death=joy of dying. Death, whether it's sooner or later it will definitely come someday. There's no need for us to deliberately make our way there. In the time before we head over, isn't it good if we just try to lead a fulfilling life? That's my answer for now.
Let's have one final question. So, why do people live? What's the meaning of life? Why were we born?
...there's no meaning behind it. It's painful precisely because you are looking for meanings. Even if you do find it, I think it will just be an excuse for you to escape from the pain and be fooled by the joy and emotions happening right before you. It might sound sad but I feel liberated when I think like that. But if I were to make a single excuse for myself... When I am reincarnated, I hope to leave a mark on history that's deep enough for the reborn me to know about Kato Shigeaki. In order to do that, I have to be someone that is loved.
The mass of humidity drifting in the sky
Even the moisture in the sighs
Eventually returns home
The immeasurable mass turns into drops of water all too soon
Not knowing
where it might end up
----------------
I've always liked Moriyama Naotaro's songs and this is no exception.
Here's the translated lyrics if you're curious
Song lyrics
Moriyama Naotaro
Ikirukoto ga tsurai nara (If it's painful to live)
If it's painful to live
you just have to die quietly
Your lover and parents might be sad
but life goes on again within three days
When you think about it everyone will grow old
and go to the same place
If it's painful to live
just cry out loud
While you do that, night will turn into day
and you will fall asleep from exhaustion
There's no rule
that only babies cry at night
If it's painful to live
You should just comtemplate the sadness carefully
Sadness will someday
blossom into a flower
Reach out with both hands
not to pluck it but to protect it
From where there is nothing
to where there is nothing
Life that goes round and round
as if nothing ever happened
If it's painful to live
just live until you can't go on anymore
History is a small swing
Universe is a small water hole
If it's painful to live
then leave the joy of dying to the last
~Thanks for reading~