20 :: Varia Classifieds [Written/Action]

[torrenziale]

Housekeeper Position OPEN
Interviews will be held beginning at twelve noon today at Seventh Heaven
Duties and compensation to be negotiated
Faint of heart and weak-willed losers need not apply
Must like cats

[After one too many "housewife" conversations with Mammon, Squalo's decided enough is enough. He's a core member of the Varia! He doesn't

Comments

[Action]

[misakasays]

[>Must like cats

That is 80% of the reason Misaka is here today, old chap.]

[Action]

[torrenziale]

[Ha! For all you know I could have been an altar boy. Squalo eyes Misaka carefully for a long moment. So far she's reacted evenly to everything he's said and apparently isn’t programmed to complain - that’s half the battle right there. And true...she'd just be a tiny Mosca]

Alright, Misaka, you’re still in the running so here's the deal.
I'm talking laundry, dusting, dishes a minimum of three days a week, and...[Eh, what the hell.] feeding Bester if the damn thing's out of it's box and the soup girl hasn't.

If you gotta problem with working in a [He waves his hand a moment, thinking.] chaotic environment, you better speak up now.

[Action]

[misakasays]

No, MISAKA has no problem, says MISAKA. MISAKA does not experience things such as "surprise", "anger", "dismay", or anything similar.

[Action]

[torrenziale]

[Squalo's pretty sure he's hit the jackpot here. He grins.]
Good enough for me.

And what do you want out of this? [Probably should ask considering she, unlike Gola Mosca, has been programmed to do more than just kill things. He settles back in his chair, prepared to negotiate.]

[Action]

[misakasays]

MISAKA wishes to spend time with the cats, says MISAKA.

[Action]

[torrenziale]

A cat. But, hey, it's a big one, so knock yourself out. I'll get the contract written up.

You're good with lions, right?

[Action]

[misakasays]

...if not, MISAKA will train it, explains MISAKA.

[Action]

[vipermirage]

[A tiny Mosca and much cuter than the other one. Lussuria would be delighted. Mammon makes a mental note that this one likes cats, one never knows when that could be useful, it seems quite a soft spot for this robot girl or whatever she is. Don't forget to ask her how well she can defend herself, or how well she can dodge gunshots at least.]

[Action]

[torrenziale]

[Holy shit, she can do that? Squalo forces his face to stay neutral when Misaka gives her answer.]

Then you can tell it to stop chewing the hell out of my boots.

[But when Mammon decides to go and butt in again, the frown from earlier returns. A new nail file makes Lussuria delighted. It's not that hard to do. AND I'M RUNNING THIS OPERATION NOT YOU! Gunshots fall under the banner of "chaotic." Besides she says she can fucking train lions.

He pauses in writing up the contract. VOI! Fine. The second she looks like she's backing out, you're illusioning up an army of kittens, got it?]

HEY! One more question - for liability reasons. How good are you at dodging knives, bullets, fireballs, blunt objects, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera?

[Action]

[misakasays]

MISAKA has reaction speeds better than the average human, replies MISAKA.

[Action]

[torrenziale]

[You see? Faster than an average human. Stop focusing on stupid questions! Squalo grins. Things never work this well, this easily. But while he's pleased, he can't help but think the other shoe is going to drop at any moment. Determined to see this through before it can, he pushes the contract toward her along with the pen.]

You're hired.

Sign here. And here. Initial here. And date.

[Action]

[vipermirage]

[A mini-Mosca, even the name sounds similar in a way. If they were so stupid why did you ask them anyway? She doesn't have much more to say thought, so instead she decides to do a little experiment. Hello there MISAKA, let's see how you react to Squalo suddenly having kitty ears and a real kitty siting on his head. Not that he would notice, yet at least.]