Friendship in Florida

[tonguesintrees]

I've lived in South Florida for just over three years now, and instead of people asking me how I like it down here, I get the slightly different question of what are the differences between here and Charleston. There are a lot of things that are very different, but there are also a lot of similarities. Most of the time I really like the weather

Comments

[azalea581]

This is a very interesting topic!!!
People say it is hard to make friends here in Seattle. We even call it the "Seattle freeze"
I've never had problems making friends here, especially since having kids. I have a huge support group of amazing mommy friends and I'm constantly meeting more at play dates, birthday parties, etc.
When I stayed in Miami for a few months, I was looking forward to making some friends there. I joined online mommy groups for South FL. I went to all the mommy hangout places like the children's museum. I never met one single friend there and I tried really hard! :(

[tonguesintrees]

I've been thinking about this for quite a long time, actually, and finally decided to get my thoughts together and post about it, so I'm glad you found something interesting in it

[azalea581]

I think people in Seattle aren't as friendly as other places. Than again, it seems everyone thinks this about the place they live so... I don't know :).
I've met most of my friends through local groups on the internet. There's a lot of Seattle people on the internet which I realized when I was in Miami. It's colder here so we stay inside. Also we have a lot of tech jobs here so a lot of people are computer nerds. It's super easy to find Seattle based communities on the internet. I had a hard time finding any online mommy groups for Miami. The ones I did find weren't active.

I'm reading the below responses and maybe I am just an outgoing person? I don't know. I was at a birthday party over the weekend where I knew no one. I started talking to one of the girls there because she had a daughter around the same age as Audrey. Turns out she lives in my neighborhood so I added her on facebook. That's pretty much how friendships start in my world haha.

[tonguesintrees]

I remember finding that Ft. Lauderdale-based online groups weren't very active either, back when I was looking. Maybe things have changed, I don't know. Part of the problem may also be that by the time people's kids are almost three, they're already firmly established in their groups of friends, whereas people with babies who are still fairly young might still be looking to fit in with mamas of similarly aged babies.

You do seem really outgoing, but I have definitely gotten past a lot of my shyness since I moved here and had Olivia, so I do try to talk to people and approach people first. I just haven't had a very good reception. I'm starting to think maybe people just don't like me, although I don't think I'm inherently unlikeable.

[tonguesintrees]

I seriously miss being in a fandom. I miss my old fandom friends and the sense of community a lot.

It's weird, though, because having kids and hanging out in places where other people have kids is kind of analogous to fandom in a way, and yet, here in South Florida, no one wants to have anything to do with making friends. I just don't get it, and I really have made an effort to put myself out there. Maybe I just suck in person?

[tonguesintrees]

It's even difficult to make an impression on other people who seem to be left out of the other groups, too. I guess as long as I'm not giving up altogether!

[tonguesintrees]

See, I can kind of understand the being unmarried without kids in a group of married people who have kids - and I used to be that person, at least in my family! - but when I'm trying to be friendly with other married, stay-at-home moms and striking out all over the place, I don't get it! Often the other moms won't even talk to me at the playground, depending on which one we go to, which is just baffling.

[tonguesintrees]

I've checked that out, too! There doesn't seem to be too much in my immediate area, so I would have to go a bit further afield than I usually might, but that could be worth it for a friendly group!

[angelinw8ing13]

Well I think this about says it all. I've lived in South Florida most of my life. I can say I was never a big "girl friend" kind of girl, most of my friends where people I grew up with and went to school with. I don't think I can say I actually have any friends down here that were not from my childhood. But I haven't ventured out. I'm an odd duck, I'm normally very shy but I can strike up a conversation with someone in line and know their whole life story by the time I'm done.

Thank being said. I know we have some rather different view on things, which doesn't seem to come up much, but I'm here. If you want to PM me I can give you my cell number. I live in Cooper City so am not that far away and have access to a vehicle. (Work has just been crazy right now, but I guess that's what happens when you start your own business.) But if we plan ahead I'm sure I can work something out as long as you don't mind Behn (My little man) in tow. :) ::hugs::

[tonguesintrees]

Interesting to hear your perspective since you grew up down here. A friend of my husband's on Facebook also grew up down here and seemed to have a lot of thoughts about this post, so I'll be interested to hear what she has to say as well.

You're so nice to offer! Maybe sometime we can try to get our kiddos together to play. :)

[angelinw8ing13]

Sounds like a plan to me! Just let me know when you’re free, I ask for a couple of days notice because of work, but I’d love to get together. Just member I think my little guy is a few years younger than Olivia, he’s almost 2 so as long as you’re ok with that I’m down. :)

[tonguesintrees]

Just about a year younger, then - Olivia will be three at the end of August. I'm definitely a planner, too, so maybe we could plan to meet up sometime.

[human_introvert]

Maybe it is hard(er) to make friends anywhere once you reach a certain age, which is exacerbated if you have kids?

I don't find it easy to make friends...but I guess I don't really try either. I have never joined a mom's group (other than a mom-centric LJ adding comm, hah) because I know that I would never be able to 'make friends' at one. Even when I take Emm to school or play with her in the park, I feel like the other moms are in a different world from mine. I can't really explain it. But being introverted means (by def'n) I need something deeper to make connections with people, and I don't think simply being a mom is enough to establish some common ground.

[tonguesintrees]

Hmm. Maybe we forget how to make new friends as we get older? I don't know! I've never, ever been outgoing, and when I was a child was actually painfully shy, so after moving down here, I've made a concerted effort to be much more outgoing than I usually would be, and it doesn't seem to have helped.

I can relate to feeling like other moms are in a different world from yours. I was noticing today at the toddler/preschool story time at our library that certain moms talk to certain other moms, but won't talk to others at all, and it's just so weird. I just don't get it. It doesn't take much to say hello and be friendly and start a conversation to see if you might have something in common with someone beyond just having kids the same age. I guess maybe other people just aren't interested?