The Extremely Exhaustive Evgeni Malkin Primer: Part 3
Part One || Part Two
Even if your interest in Geno begins and ends in the rink, if you watch the Penguins for long enough you're going to notice two delightful older Russian people in the crowd, one of whom looks heck of a lot like him. Those are Geno's parents. Vladamir and Natalia. Fun fact, Vladamir also played for the KHL (back then, it was the Superleague) in Magnitogorsk as a defenseman. They come at least once a year to Pittsburgh to watch Geno, and his dad says they watch every single game he plays in, even from Russia. *
That other dude in the photo is Geno's brother, Denis. I don't know why Denis is kind of, like, non-existent, but he's sort of never mentioned, ever. Maybe because he's bitter that Geno clearly got the looks. Or maybe because he and Geno are trying to forget the chapter in their lives where they tried to start the Russian Beatles:
It was a dark time.
Anyway, Geno's parents are, if possible, even more adorable than he is. No, really:
Unsurprisingly, everyone in Pittsburgh loves them. A lot.
Another important lady in Geno's life (besides his mom, who is, by Geno's estimation, the very most important lady), there's this lovely woman:
That's Oksana, Geno's at least quadruply ex-girlfriend. I say "at least quadruply" because they break up and get back together all the time. As of me writing this, they are not together. This could easily change within a week.
Geno met Oksana while he was playing in the KHL, when he was either 18 or 19. Oksana was 22 or 23. Also, married to one of the major metal-producing millionaires in Magnitogorsk. Awkward. Regardless, they dated for an unspecified amount of time, but Geno broke up with her before he stole away to America. It should be noted that while that sounds like a thing foreign hockey players would do a lot, most foreign hockey players, if they have girlfriends, bring them over with them. Henrik Lundqvist and both Sedins, for example, did this with their now-wives. Geno probably didn't do this for two reasons. The first was because he was running away in secret, but the more important second was because she was still married. Though by that point, she was filing for divorce.
For the first season and a half or so, Geno was single, but then Geno got his own house, suddenly Oksana moved over, and they were together! And seemingly happy! He had some really good seasons! They won the Stanley Cup!
After that they were photographed by the paparazzi on a romantic tropical vacation which I will not show you because paparazzi photos are creepy! But here, have a different cute one of them travelling. They liked to travel together a lot, apparently:
And then... she kind of disappeared after that and they broke up. End of story, right? Wrong! Because then she showed up at the Olympics and everyone was all "hey, they're together again!"
But they weren't. At least until about a year ago when magically, they were together again! It would totally work out this time!
Spoiler alert: it didn't. They broke up sometime around March and Geno's been single ever since. It is rumored (heavy emphasis on rumored) that Geno's never put a ring on it because his mom doesn't like Oksana. I'd take that with a heavy, heavy grain of salt, though. It's more likely Oksana just doesn't want to leave Russia or something like that. Either way, they're on again, they're off again, who knows if this is the last time. To be continued.
There is one dude who remains Geno's forever girl, though, and that's Sergei Gonchar:
If you watched Geno's Hart acceptance speech or read the big article of feelings, you know this story already. Geno came to America speaking no English, unable to drive, and with nowhere to live. So he stayed with Sergei Gonchar and his family for his first two and a half years. And they've been BFF ever since, even though Sergei got traded to Ottawa.
That stunning lady is Sergei's wife, Xenia. Cute story - they met at the Nagano Olympics. She's an Armenian figure skater. The more you know! They have two daughters, Natalie and Victoria, who are also rather dear to Geno. And not just because they're cute and tiny.
Malkin soon became a hero to someone else when he moved into a spare bedroom in Gonchar’s house. Gonchar’s 2-year-old daughter, Natalie, became Malkin’s unlikely study buddy and fellow couch potato. The two became fast friends over cartoons. “I love kids, you know,” Malkin says. “She young-2 years old-I play with her sometimes. We watch TV, and she learn English, and I start, too. She’s funny. She learned a little bit quicker than me.”
“Geno was great with my daughter,” Gonchar recalls. “She was teaching him English. Once in a while, she would make fun of him for not knowing something she knew.”*
It's been three or four months, Sergei Gonchar estimates, since Evgeni Malkin ventured out on his own.
Still, not much has changed at the Gonchar residence.
"He moved out and my wife delivered another baby," Gonchar said. "So one baby is out and another is in.
"It's the same."*
And Geno is still close with the girls. Now, I can't actually tell Gonch's daughters apart, I just know that Geno keeps cuddling with little blonde girls when he's hanging out with Gonch's family, and they look vaguely related, and that every time it happens I make little pained noises because oh god it's just so cute.
Why does no one have the decency to be knocked up by this man, I don't even get it.
Geno's got another buddy from Russia y'all just might recognize:
I fully admit to not understanding their relationship and if they love or hate each other. Currently, they seem to love each other, and if you're interested in a more in-depth look at their relationship, here is an excellent part of a larger Ovie primer.
Geno's also friendly with another Russian, Pavel Datsyuk. (Who is also Geno's favorite player - category, not on his team.)
They're bros.
A former bro (still a bro?) of Geno's is Max Talbot. He used to be on the Pens and then when he became a free agent signed with the Flyers. To put that in non-hockey terms for beginners, it's like when Johnny Damon went from the Red Sox to the Yankees. It's hockey Benedict Arnold-ing. I wasn't even a hockey fan yet and I am still not over it. Max was his first friend on the team! Their love was so beautiful! And then Max ruined it! According to Max, this is what happened when he told Geno:
“I just texted him (Saturday) about this, but when he heard last week that I wasn’t going to be a Penguin anymore he sent me a text that was so Geno. It just said, ‘Why?’”
YEAH, MAX. WHY!?!??!!
Don't worry, though, Geno has plenty of BFFs still on the team. There's his trainer, Mike Kadar, who he loves to absolute bits and pieces and credits with his amazing season this year.
This is an adorable article on them. (Also highly recommended for hardcore Geno fans is the linked videos of their training that are just under the picture.) The article featuring gems like Geno giving half of his fiftieth goal puck to Kadar as a thank you! Geno's special nicknames for Kadar! Geno telling Kadar he was coming back to Russia by telling the media and then remembering he and Kadar had never talked about it! Oh, Geno, you special snowflake.
Geno also enjoys tweeting with/to his linemate James Neal:
And right after he won all his swag at this year's NHL awards:
And Geno was bros with Jordan Staal (before he got traded - WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP LEAVING HIM/ME/US?!?!?).
Apparently the two of them used to do a little playfighting routine before every game. And try as I might I could not find it on youtube. And now it never will be on youtube because Jordan is gone forever. I hope you're proud of yourselves, Pens fans.
Anyway. Geno also, like all good players, loves and respects his goalie very, very much:
Special praise was reserved for goalie Marc-Andre Fleury, whom Malkin calls the heart of the locker room.
“Fleury, he’s a funny French guy. He has lots of jokes for guys. Always smiling after a good save. We have a shootout after practice, and when he makes great save, he talks to guys-you know, ‘I best, I best!’”
Geno pauses, laughing without sound, then deadpans, “He’s best.”*
SO MUCH LOVE.
But of course Geno's very best friend on the team (and arguably one of his best friends in real life, too) is Sidney Crosby.
Sidney Crosby needs his own section, really.
Part Four
Even if your interest in Geno begins and ends in the rink, if you watch the Penguins for long enough you're going to notice two delightful older Russian people in the crowd, one of whom looks heck of a lot like him. Those are Geno's parents. Vladamir and Natalia. Fun fact, Vladamir also played for the KHL (back then, it was the Superleague) in Magnitogorsk as a defenseman. They come at least once a year to Pittsburgh to watch Geno, and his dad says they watch every single game he plays in, even from Russia. *
That other dude in the photo is Geno's brother, Denis. I don't know why Denis is kind of, like, non-existent, but he's sort of never mentioned, ever. Maybe because he's bitter that Geno clearly got the looks. Or maybe because he and Geno are trying to forget the chapter in their lives where they tried to start the Russian Beatles:
It was a dark time.
Anyway, Geno's parents are, if possible, even more adorable than he is. No, really:
Click to viewUnsurprisingly, everyone in Pittsburgh loves them. A lot.
Another important lady in Geno's life (besides his mom, who is, by Geno's estimation, the very most important lady), there's this lovely woman:
That's Oksana, Geno's at least quadruply ex-girlfriend. I say "at least quadruply" because they break up and get back together all the time. As of me writing this, they are not together. This could easily change within a week.
Geno met Oksana while he was playing in the KHL, when he was either 18 or 19. Oksana was 22 or 23. Also, married to one of the major metal-producing millionaires in Magnitogorsk. Awkward. Regardless, they dated for an unspecified amount of time, but Geno broke up with her before he stole away to America. It should be noted that while that sounds like a thing foreign hockey players would do a lot, most foreign hockey players, if they have girlfriends, bring them over with them. Henrik Lundqvist and both Sedins, for example, did this with their now-wives. Geno probably didn't do this for two reasons. The first was because he was running away in secret, but the more important second was because she was still married. Though by that point, she was filing for divorce.
For the first season and a half or so, Geno was single, but then Geno got his own house, suddenly Oksana moved over, and they were together! And seemingly happy! He had some really good seasons! They won the Stanley Cup!
After that they were photographed by the paparazzi on a romantic tropical vacation which I will not show you because paparazzi photos are creepy! But here, have a different cute one of them travelling. They liked to travel together a lot, apparently:
And then... she kind of disappeared after that and they broke up. End of story, right? Wrong! Because then she showed up at the Olympics and everyone was all "hey, they're together again!"
But they weren't. At least until about a year ago when magically, they were together again! It would totally work out this time!
Spoiler alert: it didn't. They broke up sometime around March and Geno's been single ever since. It is rumored (heavy emphasis on rumored) that Geno's never put a ring on it because his mom doesn't like Oksana. I'd take that with a heavy, heavy grain of salt, though. It's more likely Oksana just doesn't want to leave Russia or something like that. Either way, they're on again, they're off again, who knows if this is the last time. To be continued.
There is one dude who remains Geno's forever girl, though, and that's Sergei Gonchar:
If you watched Geno's Hart acceptance speech or read the big article of feelings, you know this story already. Geno came to America speaking no English, unable to drive, and with nowhere to live. So he stayed with Sergei Gonchar and his family for his first two and a half years. And they've been BFF ever since, even though Sergei got traded to Ottawa.
That stunning lady is Sergei's wife, Xenia. Cute story - they met at the Nagano Olympics. She's an Armenian figure skater. The more you know! They have two daughters, Natalie and Victoria, who are also rather dear to Geno. And not just because they're cute and tiny.
Malkin soon became a hero to someone else when he moved into a spare bedroom in Gonchar’s house. Gonchar’s 2-year-old daughter, Natalie, became Malkin’s unlikely study buddy and fellow couch potato. The two became fast friends over cartoons. “I love kids, you know,” Malkin says. “She young-2 years old-I play with her sometimes. We watch TV, and she learn English, and I start, too. She’s funny. She learned a little bit quicker than me.”
“Geno was great with my daughter,” Gonchar recalls. “She was teaching him English. Once in a while, she would make fun of him for not knowing something she knew.”*
It's been three or four months, Sergei Gonchar estimates, since Evgeni Malkin ventured out on his own.
Still, not much has changed at the Gonchar residence.
"He moved out and my wife delivered another baby," Gonchar said. "So one baby is out and another is in.
"It's the same."*
And Geno is still close with the girls. Now, I can't actually tell Gonch's daughters apart, I just know that Geno keeps cuddling with little blonde girls when he's hanging out with Gonch's family, and they look vaguely related, and that every time it happens I make little pained noises because oh god it's just so cute.
Why does no one have the decency to be knocked up by this man, I don't even get it.
Geno's got another buddy from Russia y'all just might recognize:
I fully admit to not understanding their relationship and if they love or hate each other. Currently, they seem to love each other, and if you're interested in a more in-depth look at their relationship, here is an excellent part of a larger Ovie primer.
Geno's also friendly with another Russian, Pavel Datsyuk. (Who is also Geno's favorite player - category, not on his team.)
They're bros.
A former bro (still a bro?) of Geno's is Max Talbot. He used to be on the Pens and then when he became a free agent signed with the Flyers. To put that in non-hockey terms for beginners, it's like when Johnny Damon went from the Red Sox to the Yankees. It's hockey Benedict Arnold-ing. I wasn't even a hockey fan yet and I am still not over it. Max was his first friend on the team! Their love was so beautiful! And then Max ruined it! According to Max, this is what happened when he told Geno:
“I just texted him (Saturday) about this, but when he heard last week that I wasn’t going to be a Penguin anymore he sent me a text that was so Geno. It just said, ‘Why?’”
YEAH, MAX. WHY!?!??!!
Don't worry, though, Geno has plenty of BFFs still on the team. There's his trainer, Mike Kadar, who he loves to absolute bits and pieces and credits with his amazing season this year.
This is an adorable article on them. (Also highly recommended for hardcore Geno fans is the linked videos of their training that are just under the picture.) The article featuring gems like Geno giving half of his fiftieth goal puck to Kadar as a thank you! Geno's special nicknames for Kadar! Geno telling Kadar he was coming back to Russia by telling the media and then remembering he and Kadar had never talked about it! Oh, Geno, you special snowflake.
Geno also enjoys tweeting with/to his linemate James Neal:
And right after he won all his swag at this year's NHL awards:
And Geno was bros with Jordan Staal (before he got traded - WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP LEAVING HIM/ME/US?!?!?).
Apparently the two of them used to do a little playfighting routine before every game. And try as I might I could not find it on youtube. And now it never will be on youtube because Jordan is gone forever. I hope you're proud of yourselves, Pens fans.
Anyway. Geno also, like all good players, loves and respects his goalie very, very much:
Special praise was reserved for goalie Marc-Andre Fleury, whom Malkin calls the heart of the locker room.
“Fleury, he’s a funny French guy. He has lots of jokes for guys. Always smiling after a good save. We have a shootout after practice, and when he makes great save, he talks to guys-you know, ‘I best, I best!’”
Geno pauses, laughing without sound, then deadpans, “He’s best.”*
SO MUCH LOVE.
But of course Geno's very best friend on the team (and arguably one of his best friends in real life, too) is Sidney Crosby.
Sidney Crosby needs his own section, really.
Part Four