Movie Pitch: Jewish Vampires

[tongodeon]

I've always admired the Jewish tradition, welcoming discussion and discussions of the discussions involving lots of complicated rules and issues. Simultaneously pragmatic and formally legalistic, sometimes perversely so. For example you're allowed to carry something outside your house, unless it's on the Sabbath, unless you're inside an Eruv,

Comments

[morrisa]

But we are vampires, dear. Why do you think we're so pale?

[mister_borogove]

The Eruvim are totally admirable because the Jewish god loves seeing his children trying to hack the rules -- imagine if your D&D rules lawyer was your favorite young nephew and you were the DM, and how you'd feel the first time he tried a clever interpretation of the rules to keep his character alive.

[occlupanid]

in conclusion, go vampires.

[sanspoof]

This song is all I have that is vaguely relevant, although vampires are not included. I like it.

[xiphias]

The question of Jewish vampires is one of the ones that is constantly debated at cons, along with questions of mikveh on generation ships, the kashut status of both vat-grown and replicator-formed meat, the functioning of a Jewish calendar on Mars, and how one constructs a sukkah in space

[mskala]

It seems to me that those conclusions are a lot easier to reach when you're not the vampire yourself.

[xiphias]

That's why it's important to work through the implications now, BEFORE anyone I know is a vampire.

[quercus]

Obviously, one question of Jewish vampires is, "Can they feed?" Jews may not consume blood.

Of course Jews consume blood in the simple physical sense, it's just not kashrut to do so.

So where would this leave our hypothetical vampire? They're forced into this contradiction of wishing to observe kashrut, yet being unable to do so. That's going to make for one unhappy bunny.

[dnereverri]

"Now, you may ask how it is that a vampire may drink the blood of the living, yet still remain a good Jew. Well. Rabbi Hillel says..."

(Optionally: "I take you in, I protect you, I feed you the very blood from my veins, and this is how you repay me? Put a stake through my heart, why don't you!")

[xiphias]

The problem is that what Hillel said that's most relevant is, "Who can say your blood is redder than his!"

Which is pointing out that it is not possible to say that any one being is more valuable than another, and therefore, one may not harm one person -- including oneself -- in order to help another. And from that, we may deduce that a vampire may NOT drink the blood of the living, and remain a good Jew.