Polar Bear Pants
My co-worker Sylvian is a very cool guy. He went to college for structural or mechanical engineering and loves talking about applications of different conctrete mixes, the unusual corrosive properties of aluminum, or innovative ways to dig a basement for a skyscraper without caving in the basements of the neighbor skyscrapers.
Sylvain is also from Baffin Island, where there are no trees and a lot of ice. Summer lasts for one week - you don't want to be out of town on vacation or you miss summer. There's one ship that comes once a year, and everyone makes one order for everything they're going to need that entire year. The ship arrives and unloads your year's supplies on wooden pallets, which are worth $100 apiece because they are made of wood and there are no trees on Baffin Island.
So we're talking about the worldwide "MTV Generation" gap: the 12 year old kids who are abandoning their traditions to dress like the hip-hop stars they see on the new digital satellite stations:
"It's crazy. 'Dose Inuit kids up 'dere have Lakers jackets while their grandparents are wearing caribou jackets and polar bear pants."
"Polar bear pants? Can I get a pair?"
"You will have to kill your own. And it is not easy."
"How do you kill a polar bear?"
"Well you need dogs. They raise dogs up 'dere on Baffin Island. For the last four months you feed 'dem with a baseball bat. Then you take them all out to Dog Island and leave them there wif no food. The dogs 'dey eat each other and when you come back 'de only dogs left are 'de strongest ones, and 'dey only respect you because you are strong and have 'deir food. So you go out on your Ski Doo, and 'de polar bear he can smell you 100km away. And if you have dry bacon in your pocket - well he smells a caribou at 45km and a walrus at 40km and your bacon at 35km - and he's coming after you and he is not kidding. He can run faster than your skidoo because he does not have to go around the ice floes so you better be ready. Now your dogs are stupid - they think that if 'dey are in a group 'dey stand a chance against the polar bear, so 'dey start biting it. And that gives you just enough time to get out your gun, and you better be prepared because now 'de bear he is pissed."
"Whoah."
"Yeah. You know 'de orcas? Polar bears will be in 'de water where it is warm: it's colder on land than in 'de water, so 'dey lay in 'de water 'wit only 'deir noses sticking out of de water and caps of snow on it. And when de orca comes out of the water to chomp a seal 'de bears gang up and chew out its blowhole so that it cannot exhale to dive. Then when it dies it floats to 'de surface."
Things are pretty extreme up there in Baffin Island.
Sylvain is also from Baffin Island, where there are no trees and a lot of ice. Summer lasts for one week - you don't want to be out of town on vacation or you miss summer. There's one ship that comes once a year, and everyone makes one order for everything they're going to need that entire year. The ship arrives and unloads your year's supplies on wooden pallets, which are worth $100 apiece because they are made of wood and there are no trees on Baffin Island.
So we're talking about the worldwide "MTV Generation" gap: the 12 year old kids who are abandoning their traditions to dress like the hip-hop stars they see on the new digital satellite stations:
"It's crazy. 'Dose Inuit kids up 'dere have Lakers jackets while their grandparents are wearing caribou jackets and polar bear pants."
"Polar bear pants? Can I get a pair?"
"You will have to kill your own. And it is not easy."
"How do you kill a polar bear?"
"Well you need dogs. They raise dogs up 'dere on Baffin Island. For the last four months you feed 'dem with a baseball bat. Then you take them all out to Dog Island and leave them there wif no food. The dogs 'dey eat each other and when you come back 'de only dogs left are 'de strongest ones, and 'dey only respect you because you are strong and have 'deir food. So you go out on your Ski Doo, and 'de polar bear he can smell you 100km away. And if you have dry bacon in your pocket - well he smells a caribou at 45km and a walrus at 40km and your bacon at 35km - and he's coming after you and he is not kidding. He can run faster than your skidoo because he does not have to go around the ice floes so you better be ready. Now your dogs are stupid - they think that if 'dey are in a group 'dey stand a chance against the polar bear, so 'dey start biting it. And that gives you just enough time to get out your gun, and you better be prepared because now 'de bear he is pissed."
"Whoah."
"Yeah. You know 'de orcas? Polar bears will be in 'de water where it is warm: it's colder on land than in 'de water, so 'dey lay in 'de water 'wit only 'deir noses sticking out of de water and caps of snow on it. And when de orca comes out of the water to chomp a seal 'de bears gang up and chew out its blowhole so that it cannot exhale to dive. Then when it dies it floats to 'de surface."
Things are pretty extreme up there in Baffin Island.