Hakuouki Drama CD - Shinsengumi Detective Files #7
Title: Shinsengumi Detective Files (新選組捕物控)
Genre: Comedy, Serious
Characters: Kondou, Hijikata, Sannan, Souji, Saitou, Heisuke, Sano, Shinpachi
Since I want to keep the translation open, I can't provide download link here.^^; This is the 3rd track in the 2nd CD, which is available in Hakuoki community. In case you can't access the post, plz check community policy #3.
Please don't copy-paste the translation elsewhere! Linking to this page is okay.
Previous track.
Hijikata: Well then, why don't you explain again from the very beginning? You chased the thief into his hideout, and it turned out to be merely a laundry store. What's with that?
Souji: What? You still don't get it after such a detailed explanation? I thought your only merit is being cunning, but you're surprisingly thicker than I thought.
Hijikata: Can't you say anything straight without sarcasm? Enough! Explain again already.
Souji: Fine. Firstly, Inoue-san asked me to watch over the uniform.
Shinpachi: I swapped my dirty uniform with the one hung in the courtyard. While doing that, I left my uniform on the verandah, and forgot about it.
Heisuke: I saw Shinpattsan's uniform on the verandah, and took it to the dump of laundries in the dōjō.
Saitou: I can't bear seeing dirty clothes lying around, so I ordered a soldier to wash them.
Sano: Then, that soldier asked me if there's a good place to wash them. So I introduced him to a laundry store I'm familiar with.
Hijikata: Wasn't the culprit badmouthing about Shinsengumi? Such as "Shinsengumi isn't so fearsome"?
Souji: He said that was because he thought Shinsengumi were a group of fearsome ones, but surprisingly we turned out to be rather friendly. If the person he met was Hijikata-san, I wonder if he'd say the same thing.
Hijikata: Give your report without adding needless comments. What about the part about the quarters being easy to get in and out? What's that supposed to mean?
Souji: He thought the Shinsengumi quarters would be a dreadful place, but everyone welcomed him and he didn't have any trouble in here. Rumors are so fearsome. Even if the one who said it didn't mean any harm, you never know how others would twist the meanings. Anyway, everything settled. Congrats. Congrats.
Hijikata: What's to congrat? The shame!! What joke it is for Shinsengumi to be stirred up by a laundry store owner!!
Kondou: Now, now, Toshi. There was no harm done, and the uniform came back safe and sound. For my sake, don't be hard on them.
(Handclapping)
Heisuke: That's our chief! Well said!
Shinpachi: You are actually shining now, Commander! You're so dazzling I can barely see!
Sano: Then, problem solved. May we be excused?
Sannan: No rush. I'm not done with you yet.
Heisuke: Ah. The scariest person speaks, with a smiling face too. I have a bad feeling...
Sannan: Firstly, Nagakura-kun. When you first received the uniform, weren't you told by the Vice Commander that you should never let it get dirty?
Shinpachi: Ye... yeah. I think I did hear things like that.
Sannan: Although it was an accident, you failed to report it. And above all, you even tried to escape the responsibility and frame it on another soldier. Do you think this is a suitable behavior as a Shinsengumi executive?
Shinpachi: No sir. I'm deeply regretting my misbehavior.
Sannan: Next is Toudou-kun.
Heisuke: I... I didn't do anything bad! I collected dirty clothes in one place. Can't I be praised for that?
Sannan: That's right. However, dirty clothes dumped on dōjō floor won't become clean by themselves. Surely you're aware of that, aren't you?
Heisuke: Yes sir.
Sannan: As for Saitou-kun... nothing to pick. On the contrary, is applausable. Please keep up the good work and be careful not to be dragged down by the surrounding, for there are too many people here that give bad influences.
Saitou: ... My deepest gratitude.
Heisuke: (whispers) Say, by "people that give bad influences", does that mean us?
Shinpachi: (whispers) Are there anyone else? At least don't say it in front of us. Sannan-san is harsh.
Sannan: Harada-kun too. Nothing wrong with introducing a laundry store when being asked.
Sano: Thanks.
Shinpachi: Dang! That's so sly of you, Sano! How come you don't get any scolding?
Heisuke: Yeah! We're in the same boat! How could you get out of this alone?
Hijikata: Shinpachi, Heisuke, cut out the nonsense. We don't need that kind of boat. Sink it.
Sannan: Lastly, Okita-kun. You know who was the reason for this commotion.
Souji: Well, if you want to say who's responsible, I guess it's me.
Sannan: Correct. If you watched over the uniform like you were supposed to, it wouldn't turn out to be such a commotion. If the incident today was related to lawless rōnins, it would be even more serious.
Souji: If it's because of lawless rōnins, that would end in battle. Then I'll just kill them and be done with it, since I'd never lose in a sword-to-sword battle.
Hijikata: Souji! That's not what Sannan-san was trying to say!
Souji: Then, what's he trying to say? Like "spring night is so hard to pass without a friend to talk to" (春の夜はむつかしからぬ噺かな), it's too hard for me to understand.
Hijikata: Why do you always... *tsk* Whatever. I'm not wasting any more time with you on this matter. Give me back that thing you took from me without permission.
Souji: Are you talking about Hogyoku Haiku Collection? I don't have it.
Hijikata: Like anyone else would take it.
Souji: I'm telling you, I don't have it now. Because I gave it to Saitou-kun.
Hijikata: What? Hey, Saitou.
Saitou: Here.
Hijikata: Give me back what you received from Souji. Surely you haven't forgotten that you were ordered not to read it.
Saitou: But, if I give it back, what I've done today would be...
Hijikata: By order of the Vice Commander, give it back.
Saitou: Um... Understood.
Hijikata: You haven't read inside, have you?
Saitou: Only half of it. May I ask a question regarding this?
Hijikata: I suppose it's about how badly written these are. No need to say it, since I knew already. I'm not planning to make a living with writing poems or lyrics. Just give me a break already.
Saitou: No. I never thought about criticizing it. It's about this line, "even if only one plum blossom bloomed, plum blossoms are plum blossoms." (梅の花一輪咲てもうめはうめ)
Hijikata: What about it?
Saitou: Be it one or two bloomed, plum blossoms are always plum blossoms. I believe that part is obvious. What is the meaning behind this line?
Hijikata: Saitou.
Saitou: Here. What is it?
Hijikata: Don't ever bring up this question again. Forget everything about the haiku you read in this book, alright?
Saitou: ... As you wish.
Kondou: Alright! Enough talking for now. Isn't it about time to let everyone go back to their rooms?
Hijikata: Since it didn't turn out serious, I'll let it slide this time. This will not happen again. Go back to your rooms on the double. You are all grounded. No one leaves this building, except for the squad on duty tonight.
Heisuke, Shinpachi, Sano: No! No way!
Shinpachi: There are no ladies in here!
Sano: I didn't do anything wrong!
Hijikata: What? Unsatisfied of the light treatment? I wouldn't mind having you seppuku for breaching the code "deviating from bushido". Your failure and mistakes caused such a stir in Shinsengumi. That's more than enough as a reason for seppuku.
(The boys leave the room, grumbling.)
(Door closes.)
Hijikata: Heck. What a terrible day.
Sannan: Care for a drink? It's necessary to drive your worries away once in a while.
Hijikata: No, thanks. I'm not good at drinking.
Sannan: No worries. This isn't hard liquor. Would Commander have one too?
Kondou: Oh. My gratitudes.
(Pouring)
Hijikata: Sannan-san, do you know the truth from the beginning?
Sannan: Yes. Since I was the one responding to the laundry store owner this afternoon.
Hijikata: Then wouldn't it be better if you say so sooner? I feel stupid, seriously scolding Souji like that.
Sannan: There's this old saying, "to deceive the enemy, deceive the ally first."
Hijikata: Well, well. Although the soldiers call me the Oni Vice Commander, I'm no match for you. It's impossible to see through what's on your mind.
Sannan: I'm merely thinking about how to lead Shinsengumi into a better direction, even the slightest bit helps. From that viewpoint, I think there's no one as simple and easy to understand as me.
Hijikata: I don't think anyone would want to ruin the image established.
Sannan: Besides, I think it's better for Okita-kun this way.
Hijikata: He's too used to my scolding. Nothing gets in his ears. And he talks back all the time, which makes it impossible to communicate.
Kondou: In a way, isn't that his way of acting cute to Toshi?
Hijikata: Souji's? Please don't be so gross, Kondou-san. That way of acting cute is nowhere near cute. I'm not training a cub of a tiger or bear.
Sannan: No, I think that's how it is. He more or less accepts what other people say, but can't agree to anything from Hijikata-kun. Isn't that also a part of it?
Kondou: He was entrusted to my family's dōjō since childhood. For Toshi, who showed up in the dōjō often, wouldn't he view him as an older brother?
Hijikata: No, I don't think it's a brother. Rather than a beloved brother, on the contrary, all those needless meddling and trouble-making are more like how someone treats an annoying unwanted relative.
Sannan: So true. That's Hijikata-kun, knowing full well what you're like in other people's eyes.
Hijikata: An organization can't be held in one piece with a Mr. Nice Guy. Especially for one like this, which everyone came from different places and has different experiences. If I'm still naive like how I was back in Tama, nothing can be done.
Sannan: There's no need to change everything. But of course, obstacles for running Shinsengumi need to be ruled out.
Hijikata: I agree on this one. I will not let anyone crush this Shinsengumi easily.
Kondou: Although Toshi and Sannan-san express it in different ways, you both consider Shinsengumi more important then anything else. There's nothing to fear with you two around. Ha ha. Do aid me in the future, both of you.
Next track.
Personal comments:
1. Laundry store! XD In track #6, Sano was hesitating if he should say "hey I know this place", but was held back by Heisuke's "let's party!!!" spirit. The store owner was also the man who Saitou saw in track #1, which he questioned Sannan about. But Sannan was planning this, so he changed the subject instead of answering.
2. Kondou-san makes a great daddy!
3. Sannan is scarier than Hijikata when he's angry. XD Heisuke is really afraid of him. His "yes" when being scolded is so cute. I can almost see his puppy ears and tail drop. Shinpachi's reaction is also something you don't see everyday.
4. It's a poem. Feel it with your heart! XD That's Saitou: a man of swords, totally practical, without a shred of romance inside.
5. Here we have the perfect example of how clumsy Hijikata can be when in front of Saitou. He can take all those random insults from Souji, but not a word from Saitou. Hence he especially ordered him not to read his poems, and even criticized his own poems so he wouldn't hear it from Saitou's mouth.
When Saitou admitted that he read it, Hijikata could have ordered him to give it back, shut up, and be grounded a week for disobedience. But noooo he didn't. And Saitou didn't even ask directly. He asked for "permission to ask", twice. Yet Hijikata couldn't say no, and ended up embarassed with a question he couldn't answer.
Although annoyed, he still doesn't want to take it out on Saitou, who's looking at him with a totally innocent "why?" face. While behind Saitou he can see 4 idiots shivering from trying to hold back the laughter and not roll on the floor, there's no good reason to take it out on them either. (I wonder if that's the true reason they were all grounded. I'm already ROFL.)
BTW, Hijikata is speaking soooo softly to Saitou that it's difficult to hear without using headphones, especially the "forget... alright" part. Compare this with a similar situation in another drama CD "Sake no Sakana", when the Baka Trio found his poems. He was blowing his top, and the three didn't dare to admit having read it. Sano told us why: "those eyes are showing serious intention to kill."
Hijikata-san, you're hopeless! *flees*