start the bidding with one small mocha frappucchino

[tnmisery]

I'm opening a bidding war.  What fantabulous prize can be all yours?

A piece of my fine, depressed, possibly PTSD-having, unwashed, chain smoking, socially phobic, lactose intolerant, eating disordered, recently unemployed-ass crashing on your couch for an entire week!

Just as soon as those lovely unemployment checks start rolling in, I can be

Comments

[unfilthy]

I bid:
Internet access and access to all relevant TV shows, plus the use of one sofa (or chaise longue) in living room of cramped one bedroom apartment. Occasional access to other people's excellent cooking.

Must be prepared to be boarded by one or two cats at any given time, possibly used as scratching post. Must be prepared to use earphones and/or earplugs as needed, and shut the fuck up while important TV watching/web surfing is taking place. Use of the lockable bathroom, for whatever purpose, for any length of time, dependent on cats allowing their door the remain shut (installing cat-flap a possibility).

Special features:
Convent across the road in case of total despair.
Two 24 hour places within walking distance for cigarette emergencies.
Mediterranean beach 5 minutes away.

[tnmisery]

This:
Must be prepared to use earphones and/or earplugs as needed, and shut the fuck up while important TV watching/web surfing is taking place.

That is the most beautiful thing I've ever read. It should go without saying, but sadly does not in many households, and finally being inside a home where THIS IS THE LAW would be a finer thing than magical, winged kitten fairies riding the backs of unicorns.

That 24 hour smokes thing is hella badass, too. Fuck yeah.

[txvoodoo]

I up Ronnie's bid with:

• proximity
• puppies
• HD bigscreen tv in couch-room connected to our dvr which can play any show downloaded that you want.
• fishtank

Hopefully all that would make you forget that you're in Texas.

[unfilthy]

I'll grant you the proximity and the bigger house and the fishtank, but I will not accept puppies as superior to cats. Equal, maybe, but not superior.

[txvoodoo]

Superior to me,since they don't make me break into sneezing, and don't cause my husband to go into anaphalactic shock :D

[tnmisery]

Question. Do you know anybody else that would say the following sentence?

SPEAKING OF ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK! hehehehe.

At work, I assigned all my coworkers the number on the list of people allowed to give me a Tracheostomy in the event I had an allergic reaction bad enough to warrant it. SERIOUSLY.
Karen-ex-med tech and has given spinal injections
Steve-ex Air Force medic
Jennifer-vet tech
Etc.

HD big screen...ummmmm, yeah...
You know I stayed with the ex-boyfriend 2 dudes ago because even though our relationship was down the tubes, I had a deep, meaningful relationship with the GIANT TV AND SURROUND SOUND.