Breaking the Fourth Wall: Dumbest thing I've ever read edition

[tm_cable]

Today's scans come from Civil War: Frontline #11. I'm just going to let this first set of scans speak for themselves. If anyone can tell me what this woman is talking about, there might well be a place for you in my cabinet, because I can't understand it:

Comments

[merryirene]

Wherever did you get the idea that Sally Floyd went to journalism school?

[tm_cable]

Ahh.

That would explain a lot.

[merryirene]

Yup.

And people ask why I got out of the business.

[tm_cable]

I thought you got fired for bringing a gun to work.

[shaman_x]

So, apparently, suitability to lead a country is measured in terms of pop culture minuitiae

She's not saying that so much as that Captain America is out of touch of what real America is and therefore shouldn't be trying to speak as to what America wants. But her argument is still crap because, as she herself points out, America's attitudes are fucked up, which means Cap following an actual moral code is a GOOD THING and he was ALREADY DOING THINGS TO FIX AMERICA, FLOYD, you moron!

A majority of Americans do seem to believe we need less free speech, shouldn't complain about being automatically treated as criminals by the government, deserve to have our liberties curtailed (unless they want to take our guns) and that chucking people in prison without recourse to legal defense and torturing people is necessary for our freedom and safety. So Tony's well in there then!

[iron_tony]

Hey, at least I feel BAD about it.

At least. . .in THOSE panels.

[shaman_x]

I thought you were weeping because you'd just realised you'd saved a country full of REALLY STUPID JOURNALISTS instead of one of the good countries, like Switzerland, which has chocolate and good skiing.

[iron_tony]

According to Orson Welles, all they have is cuckoo clocks.

And those are actually from Bavaria.

[starspangledcap]

I am going to have to talk to Tony about leaving a Life Model Decoy in my place who was that incapable of defending himself against such an idiotic tirade.

Maybe Deadpool should be the new Captain America. Considering rumor has it that the Punisher has my mask at the moment, it could only be an improvement.

[iron_tony]

You're welcome, Mr. Gadding-about-Europe-with-my-girlfriend while by all rights I could have left you to rot in prison.

I'll remember how well you return a favor.

Since Cable can see through crossouts anyway, I'll just feel free to speculate about how he would react to Deadpool in a Captain America mask. In fact, I'm pretty sure he has that listed in his MySpace page under 'turn-ons.'

Wait, never mind. You don't know what MySpace is.

[starspangledcap]

You're aware that I didn't ask you to send me to Europe, right? In fact, I'm pretty sure you ordered me to go there.

No, the LMD doesn't know what MySpace is. Mary Jane introduced me to the intracacies of that... interesting... website a few months ago. And Cable's MySpace says nothing about his turn ons. Which is probably for the best.

(Your MySpace, on the other hand, is interesting indeed. I especially like that you did your layout through "Pimp-My-Profile.com.")

[iron_tony]

You are one ungrateful son of a bitch, but you know what?

I forgive you. Because my MySpace page is obviously much cooler than Cable's.