Breaking the 4th wall: a Civil War Retrospective

[tm_cable]

Remember Civil War? The massive multi-comic crossover that created passionate sentiments (for instance, "Why the hell is this book so late????") among fans of all of the books that didn't ignore it completely

Comments

[bea4evar]

Uh. Hey, Cable. It's Weasel. This is really awkward, but Wade wanted me to give you a message. He wanted me to let you know that, OK, I'm kind of paraphrasing here, but he wanted me to let you know that. Um. While he respects you as a human being and, you know, appreciates everything you've done for him. He's moved on. And. He wanted me to give you this.

[tm_cable]

I have no intention of blaming the messenger, John.

For one thing, I recognize Wade's handwriting.

For a second thing, I can't think of a single reason that I would want to share a book with Wade. I'm surprised that you are willing to share it yourself. I suppose you're hoping to get a Civil War: Weasel tie-in out of it?

For a third thing, I am not speaking to Wade.

For a fourth thing, Wade left some things here -- a toothbrush, some quarterstaves, an action figure of himself, and something that appears to be a human pancreas.

It would be most helpful to have a forwarding address.

[bea4evar]

Yeah, sure. I can send that along to Irene if you waLOETIhj. Hold on. I'm...OW. He's PINCHING. I just wrote that I would send the address and he started PINCHING. Did he pinch you? I bet he didn't. I bet he didn't pinch the almighty Cable with your countries and your pouches and your MUSCLES.

OW. ALRIGHT.

I have to go.

And that crack about Civil War: Weasel wasn't very nice. Would it be so bad if I got my own book?

[bea4evar]

WEASEL WASN'T DOING IT RIGHT. He didn't even say what I wanted him to say. Which was HAHAHAHA LOOK WHO IS SO AWESOME THAT HE GETS THE BOOK ALL TO HIMSELF FOR TWO MONTHS IN A ROW. Where are YOU? X-Men! That's where! The ADJECTIVELESS ONE. You don't even get to be astonishing or uncanny or NEW.

ALSO. You can throw out anything of mine because anything I left behind in your stupid countries is obviously STUFF I DIDN'T WANT TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH ANYWAY.

Except that pancreas. I need that.

[tm_rogue]

Be happy Cyke actually stopped and asked for directions. Do you even know how long it takes any of those guys to actually do that? :sighs:

It gets rather irritating after awhile.

I find it oddly disconcerting that you just happen to have duct tape on you, Nathan.

OOC: OMG :giggles insanely:

You rock beyond belief for this

[tm_cable]

I'm now picturing you and Magneto on a road trip.

Or you and Remy. I'm not sure which frightens me most. I bet when Remy finally stopped, he always made you go in and ask, since nobody can understand what he's saying.

And really, Rogue, you see how many pouches I have on my uniform. Do you think I would go anywhere without enough duct tape to tie up Wade?

OOC -- Seriously, these are the total highlights of the entire trainwreck.

[tm_rogue]

Ah, see one of the nice things about going anywhere with Erik is that he always knows which way North is. :grins: Directions ain't much of an issue.

As for Remy. Well, we usually didn't care where we were heading so there wasn't any need for them.

You do have an awful lot of pouches. What else do you have in them? Well, besides duct tape and ammunition?

[tm_cable]

I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you.

*pause*

Just kidding. I've rejected violence as a means of social change, of course. But the contents of the pouches are top secret.

*locked*

They're mostly attachments for my I-Pod. One thing I absolutely don't have in there is a Deadpool action figure. Have you tried to buy one of those off E-bay? EXPENSIVE!

[john_ispyro]

[iron_tony]

Wow, the boy band terrorist just called me a dick.

I'm going to cry all the way to my new office at SHIELD.

Wise up, Allerdyce. One of us is out there saving children, one of us is blowing them up. Or, to bring the discourse to your level, I know you are but what am I?

[john_ispyro]

[iron_tony]

You're the one who called me a dick, which is what I responded to. Please look back over your own posts before making yourself look foolish.

And when I yell at you, you'll know it.

I promised Cable's mother I'd be nice to him.

[tm_cable]

I wasn't on this trip; that's my dad and his friends.

If you want to go some place cool, why don't you ask your Uncle Namor. You like "The Little Mermaid" right? The place he lives is just like that.

At least half of the Marvel U would like to tie your daddy up with tape at this point, especially after your Mommy went back to him.

[summers_grey]

No kidding, what the hell is she thinking! After that defeatist pro-McCarthy bullshit! Val can't read these like you can, right?

[summers_grey]

Gosh, his all makes me GLAD that the title I am ostensibly in is in space. With the Sh'iar. And Korvus.

I think I would rather have Lorna criticizing my romantic choice than have to listen to Reed and Tony spout fascist pro-registration line-them-up-for-internment-camp bullshit.

Tony? You may be sorta cute, but this is crap.

[iron_tony]

Yeah, I. . .don't really have a good explanation for that one. I have no clue what side of the bed Straczynski woke up on, but I'm just chugging along being an underhanded ruthless bastard who is, nonetheless, trying to do the right thing -- then I open this issue and suddenly I'm Mr.-Crazy-Eyes-
Everything-we-hate-about-the-Patriot-Act.

My personal theory is that they realized at some point that arguing about whether superheroes had to get a license was a bit too arcane and not especially posteretic, so they changed the premise to "what if superheroes had to register and Iron Man was a crazy-eyed fascist and Reed wanted to have Joe McCarthy's love-babies." Seeing as it's Marvel, they'll have forgotten it all in a couple months, or at least in time for the big-summer movie they're naming after me.

I just hope I don't have to make some noble self-sacrifice to redeem myself. I hate those.

[summers_grey]

Noble self-sacrifice to redeem yourself? Hmm. I think that covers my entire family history . . . .

[red_eyed_sin]

I am very glad I seem to be relegated to the last page of two comics this entire YEAR.