Whine away.....that's what friends are for, to be there in the good times and the bad times.
((BIG HUGS))
From reading the comments looks like others have mentioned some of the same things I was thinking. Talking to your sister R just might help and now that sister F knows how you feel should also help out.
You should never feel like you're not at home in your own home. Even though she is your sister she is still a guest there and making herself at home and taking over are two different things for me. I know when I visit my Aunt and my cousin I feel comfortable but I would never dream of telling them that they are doing something wrong or that a show they are watching I didn't like. With family it always puts a different spin on things.
Presents are a part of Christmas if you're a child or an adult. It makes sense that you would think she would bring presents with her.
I'm glad R feels at home here. But there are still societal norms that should be followed. She doesn't really get that. At least she doesn't yell at the dogs like she used to.
I'm glad that missing presents doesn't make me sound childish or materialistic. It really is about knowing you were in that person's thoughts. That's what it comes down to.
Thank you for the warm thoughts. And for being here, no matter what!!
By the time I move back to my place, I will have spent 2 months (give or take some days) with my sister and her kids. It's the longest that I've spent with them ever and the longest I've spent with my sister in 22 years (back before she got married). I will take living with my parents ANY DAY over living with my sister and her kids because at least with my parents, I can close myself in my room...at my sister's it was deal with it or spend time at the office and without a car the a 3 hour round trip bus ride.
But anyways, you are loved and there are LOADS of people who appreciate you (and I'm one of them)!
I'll get over this anger and this hurt. But next year I just may spend Christmas in Hawaii. Drinking heavily. You're welcome to join me.
I've been meaning to post and tell you how much you have my sympathy - you could be writing about me and my mother this Christmas (and every other time she comes to stay). It's as though for some reason she feels that she doesn't have to treat me with the same respect and consideration as she would a friend of hers. Winds me up no end! So I feel for you
( ... )
*hugs* Your anger and misery are entirely justified. I can't say what the answer is, but at least you only have to deal with R a few times a year. I hope you get past this in whatever way you can. *more hugs*
Thank you! My hurt feelings are still there but not so close to the surface that I can't deal with them in a rational way. At least I don't feel like crying all the time now!
Hey, angel. It's ok.minou_demimondeJanuary 1 2013, 04:52:24 UTC
The truth is that Christmas brings out either the best or the worst in people. Family included. Or maybe even family most of all.
And you're wrong, Christmas presents are important, they're not just for kids. Not that they have to be material. Christmas gifts can be as simple as a hug and kiss from your sister or best friend. They can be a phone call from somebody you love.
The fact that your sisters haven't cottoned on to this is sad. But you have to realize something: not all members of a family are born to the same parents. Sometimes your real family is a long ways away from your biological family.
My baby girl and I live with my older sister too. We have 4 brothers we adore, but don't understand a great deal. So, while we visit them, and talk to them, we don't keep Christmas with them.
So let's have a do-over. I have a Christmas gift just for you. Just give me until tomorrow to finish it. I was going to upload it to AO3, but I think I shall just give it to you. Your pressie. Now does that sound?
Comments 22
((BIG HUGS))
From reading the comments looks like others have mentioned some of the same things I was thinking. Talking to your sister R just might help and now that sister F knows how you feel should also help out.
You should never feel like you're not at home in your own home. Even though she is your sister she is still a guest there and making herself at home and taking over are two different things for me. I know when I visit my Aunt and my cousin I feel comfortable but I would never dream of telling them that they are doing something wrong or that a show they are watching I didn't like. With family it always puts a different spin on things.
Presents are a part of Christmas if you're a child or an adult. It makes sense that you would think she would bring presents with her.
((MORE HUGS))
Reply
I'm glad that missing presents doesn't make me sound childish or materialistic. It really is about knowing you were in that person's thoughts. That's what it comes down to.
Thank you for the warm thoughts. And for being here, no matter what!!
(((hugs)))
Reply
By the time I move back to my place, I will have spent 2 months (give or take some days) with my sister and her kids. It's the longest that I've spent with them ever and the longest I've spent with my sister in 22 years (back before she got married). I will take living with my parents ANY DAY over living with my sister and her kids because at least with my parents, I can close myself in my room...at my sister's it was deal with it or spend time at the office and without a car the a 3 hour round trip bus ride.
But anyways, you are loved and there are LOADS of people who appreciate you (and I'm one of them)!
I'll get over this anger and this hurt. But next year I just may spend Christmas in Hawaii. Drinking heavily. You're welcome to join me.
I'll be there!
Reply
I can't imagine how you've managed to live with your sister this long. It's very very hard to be displaced. I'm glad your parents will be back soon!
(((hugs))) and thank you!!
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Yeah, families. What are you going to do? You can't live with them. You can't kill them! ;-)
Thank you so much for the understanding. It's reassuring to know it's not just me!!!
Hawaii 2013! I'm telling you. That's the way to go!
(((hugs)))
Reply
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Thank you for the support. It really does help!
(((hugs)))
Reply
And you're wrong, Christmas presents are important, they're not just for kids. Not that they have to be material. Christmas gifts can be as simple as a hug and kiss from your sister or best friend. They can be a phone call from somebody you love.
The fact that your sisters haven't cottoned on to this is sad. But you have to realize something: not all members of a family are born to the same parents. Sometimes your real family is a long ways away from your biological family.
My baby girl and I live with my older sister too. We have 4 brothers we adore, but don't understand a great deal. So, while we visit them, and talk to them, we don't keep Christmas with them.
So let's have a do-over. I have a Christmas gift just for you. Just give me until tomorrow to finish it. I was going to upload it to AO3, but I think I shall just give it to you. Your pressie. Now does that sound?
m
Reply
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