The Ex-Boyfriend Spidey-Sense

[tinkcph]

Two nights ago, Sven and I were talking about cars. (Which we do a lot, not gonna lie.) And I mentioned that whenever I see a light blue Opel Astra Stationcar, I catch myself thinking, "oh no, I hope it's not Lars!" Which is ridiculous, because I haven't seen him for 13 years. I'm sure he's changed cars since then. Sven wasn't so sure. And then he

Comments

[kiwiria]

In the case of FB it may have a completely benign explanation. Were you logged on to your account while looking at his profile? If so, FB may have added you to his "People you might know" list... so it wasn't as much him thinking of you and sending you a request, as it was FB suggesting that he might like to do so.

Still annoying, but not quite as creepy.

Of course, if you weren't logged in, then my theory is moot :-P

[tinkcph]

Huh. Yes, that would explain it. (Must remember to log out before creeping. Good advice, there. :) )

Still no reason for him to press the damn button. I know plenty of the people Facebook suggests to me, but there's a reason we aren't friends already, y'know.

Impulse control. It saves lives.

[kiwiria]

So true! But I know some people who literally adds everybody they know, without any thought for whether or not they'd actually care to keep up with their lives.

(I used to be a bit like that when I first came to FB 8 years ago... I'm currently weeding down my flist when I come across people I realize I have no interest in keeping up with.)

[tinkcph]

Heheheh, it seems to be the general trend on Facebook right now: "Deleting - it's the new adding!" :D

[dutchxfan]

I agree with Kiwiria. That's probably how it happened.

I refuse requests all the time without a second thought. Fom clients as well. My policy: only people who matter have access. I doubt anyone cares when I delete their rquest. Most people want to 'collect' friends and don't overthink these things.

So... off he goes. Press the delete button and be done with it. It's not about carrying a grudge, it's about sharing with those who (still) matter and keeping out the rest.

(But maybe they do have a spidey sense, I don't know. My first ex never hasn't popped up ever, and second & third pop up when I'm down and still missing them. I don't recognize this.)

[tinkcph]

I deleted his request and blocked his ass, immediately after posting this entry. :D

[dutchxfan]

Heheh. Good!

[dutchxfan]

By the way: did you pay him?

[tinkcph]

Of course! By bank transfer, so I wouldn't have to see him.

My issue wasn't that he wanted the money, but that he didn't before.

He was like that in a lot of ways - like he wouldn't teach me the basics of car maintenance, despite being a mechanic, and I specifically asked to learn, because he wanted me to be dependent on him. He actually said that.

[dutchxfan]

Yeah, your issue is totally valid. He wanted it to make you 'pay' for dismissing him, which is pathetic. I was just curious.

Sounds like a weird one, indeed. Glad you got rid of him. :)

[tinkcph]

I think it was a combination of making me pay for dismissing him, but also this weird "I'll take care of you, babe," while we were dating, but as soon as that ended, he brought out the tally of what I'd amassed. Like he kind of got off on me owing him stuff, or something.

Classy lady that I am, I didn't point out how many orgasms he owed me!

[gammameta]

I ignore friends requests all the time. Don't give it a second (or fourth or fifth) thought.

Sounds like you are well rid of him. Ugh. Coming after you for a bill like that means he has this tally in his mind when you were going out. Like a guy who will never say bitch unless he is mad, it shows he has been saving up and is ready to consider you beneath him as soon as you do something he dislikes.