The Why

[tinhuviel]

When I was a kid in school, I was the one who had to sit by herself in the lunch room while other kids would periodically come up and say something to make me feel like a piece of shit. Usually, it was about my weight. Sometimes, they'd pick on me about my eyes ~ how they were silver and unearthly and how creepy I was staring at people. I

Comments

[zitronenhai]

Children are usually honest, but a two year old is learning the ropes of general manipulation and by the age of ten a kid can get to a place with lying where it is not only easy but just plain fun. I have observed children, minimum age of two, lie, cajole, backpedal and manipulate like pros. Ah, the glory of the human mind.

Innocence ends the moment the first complete sentence is spoken. Language really is a virus from outer space.

[tinhuviel]

When it comes to insulting their fellow man, they're atrociously honest and take much joy in their honesty.

[mekkasimian]

THAT JUST HUMANS FOR YOU.

=M=

[tinhuviel]

Simians are a much better species IMHO.

[mekkasimian]

AND MUCH BETTER AT DODGEBALL.

(OOOH, MEK WENT THERE... SORRY.)

SURPRISED TIN NOT HAVE "TEAM PARIAH" HANG OUT WITH LIKE MEKKASIMIAN: OUTCAST AMONGST OUTCASTS?

=M=

[tinhuviel]

That's what my LJ is for! :)

First impressions

[spencer_diehard]

When did you lose the weight? Do you remember things being different when that happened? Was anything else going on in your life besides the weight, that was abusive/demoralizing?

I have had the whole spectrum of experiences, from adored for being cute, to being ostricized for being fat/weird/crybaby. Depended on what was going on with me, and the community who was dealing with me at the time. I could go on-and-on at length, the insights gleened from living such a spectrum of 'self images' as a child --- it includes change of economic status, too -- we are sometimes just extensions of the affluence & influence of our parents...

I have also been the spectrum from elite bully to helpless loner/victim.

Your LJ personality sounds very intelligent, practical, attractive, self-confident... I have not noticed little alcoves of bitterness or thin-skinned / paranoid / defensiveness in your entries like most of us carrying baggage from childhood. Did something change for you along the way to adulthood?

Re: First impressions

[tinhuviel]

I have had the unique perspective of being overweight and being thin (ish), and I've duly noted how differently I am treated from both sides.

What happened is that I got pissed off at the world and stopped caring what people thought of me, stopped depending on and looking for approval from anyone but myself. But it only happened in 1999. Before that...I was a nugget of misery.

[polypolyglot]

I was one of those people who was not at all surprised when Columbine happened a few years ago. It was only a matter of time.

[tinhuviel]

Yeah, and everyone was saying "oh those poor kids! how could those evil boys do such a thing?"

I was thinking, "Yeah, I bet every one of them deserved it, too."

[mekkasimian]

AMEN.

FUNNY WHEN MEK HEAR THROUGH WORK GRAPEVIEW AFTERWARD, ONE DO-NOTHING CUNT MANAGER FEARFULLY TELLING OTHER, "MEKKASIMIAN ALSO WEAR TRENCHCOAT..."

=M=

[mekkasimian]

(GRAPEVIEW? GRAPEVINE NOW APPARENTLY HAVE PICTURES!)

[obie]

growing up in school for me was quite similar.. I was the fat kid.. I remember the first time I was called fat in school.. It was in kindergarten, the kid (name was Chris) sai "I don't like you, you are fat" and thus my entire school life was set

[tinhuviel]

That's a very cool story, but it doesn't change my opinion of kids. They're evil and they smell funny.

[obie]

never said it would change your opinion..

and you're right, they are evil and smell funny.

agree

[kajiracad]

esp'ly the ones wearing 40-yr old clothes!! [weg]