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[tinhuviel]

So I am home.

The place is so empty, yet so full of Aunt Tudi's presence. The animals keep looking for her. So do I.

How long will this last? I don't think I can take it.

I'll be spending the night at Janice's and Uncle Michael's.

I am utterly bereft.

Comments

[dydan]

Oh honey... ~hugs~

I wish there was more I could do for you. I hate that I'm so far away, otherwise I'd totally kidnap you!

[gunslingaaahhh]

grief is different for everyone, so sadly i cannot tell you how long it will last.

i meant what i said about you going to england at some point; come out here, see your mum and myself and amanda, but seriously consider that. i think itd be good for you.

<3 you

[aki_dreaming]

I want, very much, to be nice and positive and upbeat. I also want to be honest. Since you're fTGE, I'm going with honest

[tinhuviel]

<3 you muchlies.

[aki_dreaming]

I think it's a very good thing that you're letting people look out for you right now. Staying with friends, family... shit. If you have to tour the country - crashing on the next sofa in line - do it. There will be a point where you won't want that. You'll want to be alone. It might come in phases (it did for me).

My sense of this, from what I've observed over the years, is that you just kind of have to "trust the process" which can be terrifying because the process is sometimes painful and brutalizing. You said it best: Bereft.

But of all the "universal" human experiences, in some ways this is the most individual, and the most alienating. There's just no way to force it to fit a schedule or someone else's demands. And when people try, it usually just makes it much, much worse.

I can't do much from here, except listen, and pontificate, and hope for the best. But I'll do all that and then some, and I will come to the phone (should you choose to utilize it), which I don't do for, like, anyone. Except Shri.

[dydan]

+1!!

[miintikwa]

*hugs*

[evcelt]

::hugs::

I also think the England idea is worth exploring. Something "clicked" for me when you mentioned it.