fic: in your shoes
title: In your shoes
prompt: Reverse
pairing: James/Lily
words: 1925
rating: PG
note: For Morgan booyah_rock’s birthday!
In your shoes
If you don’t ask, you don’t get - this was James Potter’s philosophy to life. As an only child from a relatively wealthy family, he learned this from a very young age. There was one occasion he accidentally blew up the shed with his broom inside, so he simply asked, “Mum, can I have a new one?”
And, as expected, he got a new broom - the latest model, too. Though, if anybody asks, the old broom was stolen by a gang of Arabian thieves.
And then there was that other time...
“Mum, can I have a new wand?”
“What’s wrong with the one you have now?”
“Sirius’ is longer.”
“It’s not about length, it’s about how you use it… Please say ‘wand’ is not a euphemism for your--”
“Oh God. Oh God, no. I’ll be going to my room now.”
Oh, and that other incident...
“Mum, can I have a brother?”
But by that point in his life Sirius had come along and that was the end of that.
Then, one fine day he encountered the enigma that was Lily Evans. And what did she - she and her stupid, pretty clips in her hair and long, dazzling eyelashes - go and bloody do? Botch up his philosophy. Took his philosophy by the horns and shoved it right up his arse for all to witness.
Lily was the first girl he ever asked out. He’d practised asking all the night before to a mirror (a magical one that can speak back and make fun of your eyebrows). He'd planned to approach her like a true gentleman, but instead he came across as a sports fan hallooing at a Quidditch match.
They were in the Great Hall at the time; all waiting eyes were on them after Sirius got everyone’s attention by tapping his goblet of pumpkin juice with a fork, as though James Potter asking out a girl should be gazed upon like a wedding toast. Lily’s cheeks were a bright red - James remembered, they reminded him of poppies.
“You think asking me in front of the entire school will heighten your chances of me accepting?” she’d said in a low whisper.
“Don't you hate peer pressure?” James grinned. It was quite clear he was confident her answer would be a yes, which was why he was so surprised her answer was-
“No.”
And this had baffled him more than anything he’d ever come across, because whatever thing he asked for in the past he always got. Every time. Yet here he was, asking and not getting. For fifteen years he’d put himself on a pedestal where he got everything he ever asked for, then Lily Evans had come along and kicked him off it. It had been pretty cosy up there; down below in reality it was cold and harsh.
Later that evening, James asked Remus where he’d gone wrong. O wise one had replied in that o wise tone of his, “Asking her out so publicly was not particularly wise,” and James could see where he was wisely coming from.
So Lily wanted privacy. And James gave her privacy. He asked her out for a second time the next day - in privacy, like a good boy.
He was rejected yet again.
He’d asked and still not gotten.
He soon grew tired of the private approach and went back to asking her out publicly, noisily, and constantly, because he also learned from a very young age that if you ask the first time and don’t get what you want, try and try again. So what if Lily didn’t accept the first time? So what if Lily didn’t accept the thirty first time? So what if Lily didn’t accept the… James had forgotten what number exactly they were on now. Did it border in the hundreds?
He knew one day he’d crack, get sick of the rejections. There was only so many times you could put on a happy face and pretend that you were perfectly fine being persistently rejected by the girl you might possibly be in love with. The incident by the Great Lake had been the last straw for him. Not only had Lily stuck up for Snape, she’d gone on a tirade of a speech about how he was basically lower than pond scum. At the time he hadn’t really minded her telling him off in front of their classmates - words like that rolled off him like water off a duck’s back. But when he thought about it later, Lily's words had really stung ("You’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag!" "Fat head!" "Showing off!" "You make me sick!")
He sought her out and had to ask a question that had been bothering him for a while, “What the hell do you want from me?”
He presumed another one of her maddening speeches would follow, but her words were soft and in measured tones.
“I want you to think of someone other than yourself for once. I want you to put yourself in somebody else’s shoes - hell, maybe even mine.”
There was a pregnant pause.
“My feet are too big for your shoes,” James answered quietly, and as Lily sighed through her nose and turned on a heel, he had a feeling the joke was not appreciated.
***
James was having the worst dream imaginable.
He was by the Great Lake, but roles had clearly been reversed. Instead of Snape being hung in the air, Sirius was, by Lily’s wand. James ran over from the lake edge and stared up at his levitated friend with horror.
“Leave him ALONE!”
“All right, Potter?” replied Lily casually.
“Leave him alone,” he said again. “What’s he done to you?”
“Well, it’s more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…”
Laughter echoed throughout the grounds.
“You think you’re funny,” he said coldly. “But you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Evans. Leave him alone.”
“I will if you go out with me, Potter. Go on, go out with me.” Onlookers giggled and sniggered. “Potter,” Lily ran her hand down his cheek. “Don’t make me hex you--”
“James!”
He woke up panting and his skin covered in sweat. Sirius had been shaking him by his shoulders to rouse him from his dream, and it had worked. When James sat up Sirius let him go, but the worry in his eyes didn't leave so quickly.
“You were tossing and turning,” Sirius said. He sat on the edge of James’ bed, studying his friend with concern. James looked as though he was going to be sick. “You okay?”
Flushed, James raked a hand through his damp hair. “You know how you can put yourself in someone else’s shoes and get a new perspective of things?” Sirius roughly knew what he was talking about, sending him a small nod of understanding. “Well… I just did that with Lily, except I put myself in her shoes and fucking danced in them.”
Sirius sighed at him. “Why do you always let yourself get so worked about this girl?”
James shrugged at him in defeat. “I don’t know,” he answered softly.
Sirius stared at him for a second before gently patting the top of James’ head and murmuring, “Just… go back to sleep.” Sirius dragged his feet back to his bed, and sleep overcame him the second his jet black hair hit the pillow.
James never really did get back to sleep that night.
***
“I did it.”
Lily looked up into James' sad eyes at the bottom of the staircase of Gryffindor’s common room.
“Did what?”
“I put myself in your shoes.”
Lily put down the quill she was writing her essay with. “And?”
James shut his eyes and opened them again. “And now I don’t want to go back in mine.”
Before she could say anything, he was gone.
She hung her head in regret.
***
In two years James changed, except he didn’t like to say he changed, he liked to say he rediscovered himself - who he truly was as a person. Because he didn’t want to be known as what Lily yelled at him that day by the lake-you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag-no, he refused to let those words be engraved into his gravestone. He hadn’t changed completely; he still liked to muck about with his mates, he just didn’t think hexing anybody who annoyed him was necessary anymore, and touching his hair so much made it greasy anyway, and playing with Snitches was really quite a waste of time when he was a Chaser.
Lily noticed.
***
James couldn’t find his shoes.
“Where are my shoes?” he threw the question to the walls of his dormitory, truly the only things that would suffer listening to him without being able to make any snide remarks in return. “Did you steal them?” He looked accusingly at Sirius from across the room.
“Why would I steal your shoes, you Head Nonce?”
“I don’t know. Maybe that’s your dirty little secret: a shoe fetish.” He looked under his bed for his footwear but still no avail. “And it’s Head Boy,” he corrected Sirius much too late. “The initials on the badge are HB.”
“Which obviously stands for Humongous Bottom?”
James landed a pillow squarely into Sirius’ face. They were in the middle of wrestling each other when someone knocked at the door. The boys looked over and saw it was Lily at the doorway. The boys sprung apart like two guilty sons caught by their mother. Sirius realized it was his cue to leave and said, “I’ll give you two some privacy,” slipping out of the room, not before sending James a wink.
“What are you doing here?” James asked Lily once they were alone. “Bugger, did I miss a Heads meeting?” he said with a look of horror. “I'm so sorry-”
“You haven't done anything wrong,” she shut him up. “For once,” she added. Slowly, she brought out something in her hands from behind her back.
“My shoes!” he cried, bringing them into his arms like a loving pet. “Why did you take them?” he asked Lily confusedly.
“I wanted to put myself in them,” she replied with the coyest of smiles.
James’ stomach somersaulted. “And?”
“And two years ago I could have put myself in your shoes and understood you were an arrogant, bullying little sod that only cared about making trouble.”
James’ shoulders sagged. “Oh.”
“But-”
“But!” James rejoiced. “Thank Merlin for the but!” Buts always lead to positive things.
“But,” she carried on, “two years later I’m standing in your shoes and understanding you’re still an arrogant little sod sometimes.” James looked on the verge of throwing up, until Lily went on, “But, you’re surprisingly a great guy who’s kind and makes me laugh - more at you than with you, mind you. And you’d do anything for your friends, even be an idiot and break laws to become an Animagus, something I will never truly forgive you for, especially on the account that I find it very admirable that you did that for Remus. And most of all, you’d do anything for me… even when I don’t deserve it.”
She leaned in, pausing just inches away from his lips for a moment to make him suffer. At long last she gave him the softest of kisses. James was glowing afterwards, but a smell distracted him. He sniffed his shoes.
“You sprayed these, didn’t you?”
“With lavender. The stench was incredible.”
prompt: Reverse
pairing: James/Lily
words: 1925
rating: PG
note: For Morgan booyah_rock’s birthday!
In your shoes
If you don’t ask, you don’t get - this was James Potter’s philosophy to life. As an only child from a relatively wealthy family, he learned this from a very young age. There was one occasion he accidentally blew up the shed with his broom inside, so he simply asked, “Mum, can I have a new one?”
And, as expected, he got a new broom - the latest model, too. Though, if anybody asks, the old broom was stolen by a gang of Arabian thieves.
And then there was that other time...
“Mum, can I have a new wand?”
“What’s wrong with the one you have now?”
“Sirius’ is longer.”
“It’s not about length, it’s about how you use it… Please say ‘wand’ is not a euphemism for your--”
“Oh God. Oh God, no. I’ll be going to my room now.”
Oh, and that other incident...
“Mum, can I have a brother?”
But by that point in his life Sirius had come along and that was the end of that.
Then, one fine day he encountered the enigma that was Lily Evans. And what did she - she and her stupid, pretty clips in her hair and long, dazzling eyelashes - go and bloody do? Botch up his philosophy. Took his philosophy by the horns and shoved it right up his arse for all to witness.
Lily was the first girl he ever asked out. He’d practised asking all the night before to a mirror (a magical one that can speak back and make fun of your eyebrows). He'd planned to approach her like a true gentleman, but instead he came across as a sports fan hallooing at a Quidditch match.
They were in the Great Hall at the time; all waiting eyes were on them after Sirius got everyone’s attention by tapping his goblet of pumpkin juice with a fork, as though James Potter asking out a girl should be gazed upon like a wedding toast. Lily’s cheeks were a bright red - James remembered, they reminded him of poppies.
“You think asking me in front of the entire school will heighten your chances of me accepting?” she’d said in a low whisper.
“Don't you hate peer pressure?” James grinned. It was quite clear he was confident her answer would be a yes, which was why he was so surprised her answer was-
“No.”
And this had baffled him more than anything he’d ever come across, because whatever thing he asked for in the past he always got. Every time. Yet here he was, asking and not getting. For fifteen years he’d put himself on a pedestal where he got everything he ever asked for, then Lily Evans had come along and kicked him off it. It had been pretty cosy up there; down below in reality it was cold and harsh.
Later that evening, James asked Remus where he’d gone wrong. O wise one had replied in that o wise tone of his, “Asking her out so publicly was not particularly wise,” and James could see where he was wisely coming from.
So Lily wanted privacy. And James gave her privacy. He asked her out for a second time the next day - in privacy, like a good boy.
He was rejected yet again.
He’d asked and still not gotten.
He soon grew tired of the private approach and went back to asking her out publicly, noisily, and constantly, because he also learned from a very young age that if you ask the first time and don’t get what you want, try and try again. So what if Lily didn’t accept the first time? So what if Lily didn’t accept the thirty first time? So what if Lily didn’t accept the… James had forgotten what number exactly they were on now. Did it border in the hundreds?
He knew one day he’d crack, get sick of the rejections. There was only so many times you could put on a happy face and pretend that you were perfectly fine being persistently rejected by the girl you might possibly be in love with. The incident by the Great Lake had been the last straw for him. Not only had Lily stuck up for Snape, she’d gone on a tirade of a speech about how he was basically lower than pond scum. At the time he hadn’t really minded her telling him off in front of their classmates - words like that rolled off him like water off a duck’s back. But when he thought about it later, Lily's words had really stung ("You’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag!" "Fat head!" "Showing off!" "You make me sick!")
He sought her out and had to ask a question that had been bothering him for a while, “What the hell do you want from me?”
He presumed another one of her maddening speeches would follow, but her words were soft and in measured tones.
“I want you to think of someone other than yourself for once. I want you to put yourself in somebody else’s shoes - hell, maybe even mine.”
There was a pregnant pause.
“My feet are too big for your shoes,” James answered quietly, and as Lily sighed through her nose and turned on a heel, he had a feeling the joke was not appreciated.
***
James was having the worst dream imaginable.
He was by the Great Lake, but roles had clearly been reversed. Instead of Snape being hung in the air, Sirius was, by Lily’s wand. James ran over from the lake edge and stared up at his levitated friend with horror.
“Leave him ALONE!”
“All right, Potter?” replied Lily casually.
“Leave him alone,” he said again. “What’s he done to you?”
“Well, it’s more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…”
Laughter echoed throughout the grounds.
“You think you’re funny,” he said coldly. “But you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Evans. Leave him alone.”
“I will if you go out with me, Potter. Go on, go out with me.” Onlookers giggled and sniggered. “Potter,” Lily ran her hand down his cheek. “Don’t make me hex you--”
“James!”
He woke up panting and his skin covered in sweat. Sirius had been shaking him by his shoulders to rouse him from his dream, and it had worked. When James sat up Sirius let him go, but the worry in his eyes didn't leave so quickly.
“You were tossing and turning,” Sirius said. He sat on the edge of James’ bed, studying his friend with concern. James looked as though he was going to be sick. “You okay?”
Flushed, James raked a hand through his damp hair. “You know how you can put yourself in someone else’s shoes and get a new perspective of things?” Sirius roughly knew what he was talking about, sending him a small nod of understanding. “Well… I just did that with Lily, except I put myself in her shoes and fucking danced in them.”
Sirius sighed at him. “Why do you always let yourself get so worked about this girl?”
James shrugged at him in defeat. “I don’t know,” he answered softly.
Sirius stared at him for a second before gently patting the top of James’ head and murmuring, “Just… go back to sleep.” Sirius dragged his feet back to his bed, and sleep overcame him the second his jet black hair hit the pillow.
James never really did get back to sleep that night.
***
“I did it.”
Lily looked up into James' sad eyes at the bottom of the staircase of Gryffindor’s common room.
“Did what?”
“I put myself in your shoes.”
Lily put down the quill she was writing her essay with. “And?”
James shut his eyes and opened them again. “And now I don’t want to go back in mine.”
Before she could say anything, he was gone.
She hung her head in regret.
***
In two years James changed, except he didn’t like to say he changed, he liked to say he rediscovered himself - who he truly was as a person. Because he didn’t want to be known as what Lily yelled at him that day by the lake-you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag-no, he refused to let those words be engraved into his gravestone. He hadn’t changed completely; he still liked to muck about with his mates, he just didn’t think hexing anybody who annoyed him was necessary anymore, and touching his hair so much made it greasy anyway, and playing with Snitches was really quite a waste of time when he was a Chaser.
Lily noticed.
***
James couldn’t find his shoes.
“Where are my shoes?” he threw the question to the walls of his dormitory, truly the only things that would suffer listening to him without being able to make any snide remarks in return. “Did you steal them?” He looked accusingly at Sirius from across the room.
“Why would I steal your shoes, you Head Nonce?”
“I don’t know. Maybe that’s your dirty little secret: a shoe fetish.” He looked under his bed for his footwear but still no avail. “And it’s Head Boy,” he corrected Sirius much too late. “The initials on the badge are HB.”
“Which obviously stands for Humongous Bottom?”
James landed a pillow squarely into Sirius’ face. They were in the middle of wrestling each other when someone knocked at the door. The boys looked over and saw it was Lily at the doorway. The boys sprung apart like two guilty sons caught by their mother. Sirius realized it was his cue to leave and said, “I’ll give you two some privacy,” slipping out of the room, not before sending James a wink.
“What are you doing here?” James asked Lily once they were alone. “Bugger, did I miss a Heads meeting?” he said with a look of horror. “I'm so sorry-”
“You haven't done anything wrong,” she shut him up. “For once,” she added. Slowly, she brought out something in her hands from behind her back.
“My shoes!” he cried, bringing them into his arms like a loving pet. “Why did you take them?” he asked Lily confusedly.
“I wanted to put myself in them,” she replied with the coyest of smiles.
James’ stomach somersaulted. “And?”
“And two years ago I could have put myself in your shoes and understood you were an arrogant, bullying little sod that only cared about making trouble.”
James’ shoulders sagged. “Oh.”
“But-”
“But!” James rejoiced. “Thank Merlin for the but!” Buts always lead to positive things.
“But,” she carried on, “two years later I’m standing in your shoes and understanding you’re still an arrogant little sod sometimes.” James looked on the verge of throwing up, until Lily went on, “But, you’re surprisingly a great guy who’s kind and makes me laugh - more at you than with you, mind you. And you’d do anything for your friends, even be an idiot and break laws to become an Animagus, something I will never truly forgive you for, especially on the account that I find it very admirable that you did that for Remus. And most of all, you’d do anything for me… even when I don’t deserve it.”
She leaned in, pausing just inches away from his lips for a moment to make him suffer. At long last she gave him the softest of kisses. James was glowing afterwards, but a smell distracted him. He sniffed his shoes.
“You sprayed these, didn’t you?”
“With lavender. The stench was incredible.”