Piecing it together.
I cant sleep. The two things that seem to be keeping me awake are: 1.) short stories about possible reasons why some guy just knocked on our door at 2:30am and then walked away when he heard our demon dog barking and 2.) memories of my early childhood, when we lived in Missouri, right around the time that my Dad left
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This story is so similar to many of my own, and therefore my heart is overwhelmed with the need to hug you. I too am from Missouri (It's where I was born), and I too have dealt with the "abuse" that comes from a "broken" family. Unfortunately, my parents waited til I was almost 19 to divorce. It was horrific, and I became the target of a lot of misplaced anger. Any time your parent hits you, it chips away at your trust and your innocence. This is why I choose not to hit my son, ever. I understand now why my parents were so stressed, and I can forgive them for the things we went through. I still have many intense issues that stem from my childhood experiences. I'm sure there are a lot of us out here who've gone through something similar or worse. I'm sorry that you have these memories and fear that keeps you up at night. I wish I could do more to help, but I'd like you to know that I am praying for you and sending you comfort and love. :)
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Awwww thank you! I've actually never talked about these things until now. It never seemed relevant. It wasn't until I was a Nanny and got to see another family from the inner workings of their house, that I begin to really think about my own childhood, and was able to begin to imagine what my Mom had to go through. She made a lot of mistakes but I can see now that she really tried hard for us and sacrificed a lot. I think there comes a point in everyone's life when they reflect on their past, the way that their parents handled life, and I think, one day, your little one is going to thank you for everything that you do for him. You're a really great Mommy and a brilliant woman all around. :)
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