free range kids

[threadwalker]

yoinked from fulguritus Thank you!

An LA TIMES article questioning the fact that the current parenting norm is not to let kids out of our sight- that people are outraged by a parent promoting a kid doing something independently

Comments

[asakiyume]

The freedom to adventure is the most precious thing--we *have* to give them that. It gives them competence, it gives them confidence, it gives them freedom--it gives them joy!

[threadwalker]

agreed.

[solestria]

When I was au pairing in Switzerland, the boys (ages 7 and 9) walked themselves to school and took the bus by themselves when necessary. When then 4-year-old Maja decided she wanted to walk herself to and from kindergarten, without having to stay with her brothers, she was allowed. It gave me an entirely different perspective on the fear in our culture. Here, their parents would probably have been reported to CPS for letting a 4-year-old walk herself 10-15 minutes to school (well, more like 20-30 for Maja. . . ).

How many kids these days are even allowed to ride their bikes around the block, for that matter?

[threadwalker]

Totally.

[catachthonian]

I remember in grade school we were let loose in a not un-dangerous city to find our own way around and accomplish certain tasks. It was quite exhilarating. Of course, it's possible they may have had teachers discreetly shadowing us...it was a while ago, so I don't remember exactly.

Personally, I'd be pretty wary of letting any young children I may have loose in certain types of urban environment. That feels to me like a different category of risk from letting them climb a tree or use a chemistry set without parental supervision. It's the difference between trusting your child not to hurt themselves based on what you've taught them and their level of development, and trusting a group of strangers, some of whom hurt people, not to hurt your child. Of course, the devil is in the details...just how dangerous the neighborhood is and how old the child is.

[threadwalker]

Of course, the devil is in the details...just how dangerous the neighborhood is and how old the child is. Yes.

Thing is, I think our idea bout how dangerous a neighborhood (or rather a series of public places) is is exaggerated. I recently heard someone attributing this to news drama- one kid or two in a year in the US has something crazy happen to them and it's all over the news, sometimes for years. It makes it feel like kids get kidnapped or killed right in the backyard all the time.

Sexual predation is a different thing though... but to be fair that's usually people known to the kid and family- often it is the family (or stepparents

[catachthonian]

Yeah, the horrible thing about sexual abuse is that it's both under-reported and over-reported. My mom has worked as a therapist with kids that were abused, and she's also worked with at least one child who was manipulated by a classmate and by incompetent (other) therapists to falsely accuse her father of sexually abusing her.

I always felt safe in San Francisco, but the city I live in now is famous for violent crime, and people who have been here longer than I have say it's a patchwork of safer and more dangerous areas, and sometimes just being a block or two over can make a big difference. So, I'm fairly cautious about where and when I walk, even as an adult and an experienced urbanite.

On the other hand, my parents will tell you that as a child I was probably more reluctant to risk my safety than they were!

Anyway, I agree that creative play and training in self-reliance are crucial for kids. It's rather obvious from this and many other journal posts of yours that you're going to be an awesome mom!

[threadwalker]

at least one child who was manipulated by a classmate and by incompetent (other) therapists to falsely accuse her father of sexually abusing her.

yeah- more creepy stuff. Or kids who realize that labeling someone is a source of power over their parents/teachers/whatever and will accuse people they are mad at. My dad had a teenage girl who had a crush on him do that when he kept avoiding her and telling her no.

Yes- better and worse neighborhoods, careful lines make it tricky- it's all situation by situation, kid by kid. It's just the general outrage when a parent gives their kid freedom/choice/responsibility without factoring those things in- always heading for the lowest common denominator (assume the least competent child possible, the most dangerous situation).

[msjen]

A mom that I knew well when I was teaching (I taught three of her kids) was given a ridiculous amount of grief from other parents for allowing her sons to stay home and hang out with each other with no definite plans over summer vacation.

I ended up handing out articles about the importance of play to parents every year after that -- but it wasn't much help with the 40 minutes of homework assigned per night to first graders.

[jetspeaks]

We got 40 minutes in grade 6. That's ridiculous.

[threadwalker]

yup.

And the recent studies on other countries (notably Finland- a great success story) show that the homework is not helping. Finland has very little homework and they are academically kicking butt. Shockingly, the kids have more personal freedom and trust instead and a closer relationship with teachers. Hmmm.

[threadwalker]

Ack!

[vicissitude]

thank you for breeding.
we need people like you and Topher to be the parents of the future.

when i was about 8 i i used to go out *on my horse* by myself oh, and without a helmet, too. then, my dad, often while drinking a beer, would help me bring my horse into the stables. you could probably get brought in for child abuse for that these days. American culture today horrifies me.

[threadwalker]

:) Thanks.

Cool about the horse! :) ...and yes. :P

Topher used to do insane skateboarding and biking things- built himself a ramp even.