WE MUST AT ALL COST PREVENT A MUPPET-POKEMON ALLIANCE

"think hard-brainhard, not junkhard"

"I “wrote”...and by “wrote” I mean surfed porn and drank."

“Do you vote for a Mormon who’s had one wife, a Catholic who’s had three wives, or an Evangelical who may have had an entire harem?”

"Newt Gingrich’s last chance to define himself in history as the grandiose figure he sees when he looks in the mirror."

"Stop playing the victim. You're not the first and it's old."

"He physically, personality-wise, comes across as if he was designed by East German scientists to be the perfect android politician."

"the early '90s comic industry, which was bloated, mercenary, and unfailingly X-TREME."

"The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

"Obama already knows that he can easily beat any of the present GOP candidates. It was Palin that he was afraid of."