NEWS IN NEW MOORE DECEMBER 4TH EDITION
WHY THE FUCK WAS EVERYONE BABIES
seriously some of it was just fuckin' gross
Early last Saturday a ton of people just turned into babies.
What the fuck was with that?
Not even just babies 'cause it'd be easier to deal with 'em if all they did was throw up on shit and pitch tantrums in the middle of stores. Some of 'em were nosy little teenagers who ran off fuck knows where and once you caught 'em kept askin' stupid questions and interruptin' me when I was tryin' to write a real article to put here so I didn't get any shit started until 20 minutes ago.
Pretty sure some kid turned into a puppy.
Scientists say jack shit 'cause I haven't met any yet
Now for the damn weather.
WEATHER OUTLOOK
Great now everybody knows there's gonna be the sun, some cloud having an epiphany, the sun, and black lightning with oil rain in the next four days, anybody else gonna step up and do this?
Why'm I the only guy who gets shouldered with the shit nobody wants to write. Nobody's even gonna notice I didn't put a question mark there. I've told 'em I didn't wanna write this shit and they put me up to it anyway probably 'cause I didn't wanna write it and they think they're a fucking riot. Same guy who probably used that fucking pious cloud icon seriously.
Nobody listens. Bet I'm not even gonna get fired for this shit and it's gonna get published anyway. Why'm I even bothering using punctuation? Oh yeah, I remember! It's 'cause of whatever journalistic integrity I have left even though I'm workin' for this company sellin' bullshit to a public that doesn't give a shit about any kinda real articles.
written by Kazuhiko Yukimi
seriously some of it was just fuckin' gross
Early last Saturday a ton of people just turned into babies.
What the fuck was with that?
Not even just babies 'cause it'd be easier to deal with 'em if all they did was throw up on shit and pitch tantrums in the middle of stores. Some of 'em were nosy little teenagers who ran off fuck knows where and once you caught 'em kept askin' stupid questions and interruptin' me when I was tryin' to write a real article to put here so I didn't get any shit started until 20 minutes ago.
Pretty sure some kid turned into a puppy.
Scientists say jack shit 'cause I haven't met any yet
Now for the damn weather.
WEATHER OUTLOOK
Great now everybody knows there's gonna be the sun, some cloud having an epiphany, the sun, and black lightning with oil rain in the next four days, anybody else gonna step up and do this?
Why'm I the only guy who gets shouldered with the shit nobody wants to write. Nobody's even gonna notice I didn't put a question mark there. I've told 'em I didn't wanna write this shit and they put me up to it anyway probably 'cause I didn't wanna write it and they think they're a fucking riot. Same guy who probably used that fucking pious cloud icon seriously.
Nobody listens. Bet I'm not even gonna get fired for this shit and it's gonna get published anyway. Why'm I even bothering using punctuation? Oh yeah, I remember! It's 'cause of whatever journalistic integrity I have left even though I'm workin' for this company sellin' bullshit to a public that doesn't give a shit about any kinda real articles.
written by Kazuhiko Yukimi