If I had the chance, I'd ask the world to dance

[thorne_scratch]

I have written and rewritten these first couple sentences quite a lot, but they all basically boil down to the fact I am sad, and in an effort not to be as sad, I am re-posting some conversations I've had with other people that made me laugh, and actually still do. I mean, ideally they also make other people laugh, but honestly, these are mostly

Comments

[horizon_greene]

I'm a little surprised that our conversation about werewolf lactation didn't make the cut here, but I suppose that belongs in the "things that make you o.O" category rather than "things that make you laugh." Ah, well.

[thorne_scratch]

No, that one definitely made me happy, but I suspected people would no longer talk to me if they knew even half of the awful, awful things I say on gmail chat.

...As it is, I'm surprised YOU still talk to me, sometimes.

[milliebee]

Dude ... I don't even know what to respond to first.

I'm sorry you're sad. Even at the best of times, autumn's kind of a sucky season what with the increasing cold and the dark and all that. Every single one of these were seriously funny conversations, though.

I'm honestly laughing too hard to be horrified at Nazi!FFVII. In fact, pretty much all of your FFVII discussions here were hilarious. I'm never going to see a vuvuzela the same way again. As if this video wasn't enough.

Hardy plants are the best plants. I keep wanting to get a bonsai tree but I just know I'd kill it.

Also, with no attempt at relevancy, have a funny Dungeons & Dragons story.

[thorne_scratch]

Oh man, don't worry about me being sad. (Unless I start, like, posting about DARKNESS and BLOOD and SUCH OVERWHELMING DEPTHS OF PAIN. Then, it's okay to be vaguely worried.) This is just how it's going to be for a while, you know? It's normal. It sucks, but it's how things are.

FFVII is the fandom of my heart. I'll never be able to leave it behind, no matter what manner of RPF I dabble in. I will probably still be talking about it years from now.

OH MAN I FORGOT THAT VUVUZELA VIDEO, IT IS GREAT.

I did kill a bonsai tree that a friend gave me. Now no one will let me touch the one we have at work. Hell, I killed bamboo, once.

Oh my. That D&D story is something else.

Hi i'm here to ruin everything

[milliebee]

In reference to the fandom of your heart, have you seen these excellent FFVII posts on Tumblr? They've essentially just taken people's text posts and applied them to characters from FFVII. There are links to parts 2 and 3 at the bottom. They gave me a few giggles, anyway.

Re: Hi i'm here to ruin everything

[thorne_scratch]

I had not! Thank you, they are hilarious! Oh man, for all that I rant at Advent Children, it did give some good giggles.

[alhazred]

I mean, ideally they also make other people laugh

I was going "omg Utena/KH crossover lol" at the Utena/KH crossover story, giggling and thinking "reminds me of when the Mass Effect fandom tried to scientifically determine what Tali'Zorah's sweat smells like" at the discussion of authors making too big a deal out of peopletaste, completely losing it at the FF7 Nazi AU, and I may have woken up my landlady when Aeris was Anne Frank.

That's only like halfway through the chatlogs so mission accomplished!

Is it a sign of being jaded when the fanfic ideas that seem the most interesting are batshit insane like this? I mean, FF7 Nazi AU is still awful and why would you do that you weirdo on the kink meme, but that prompt synopsis has more thought put into it than a lot of actually written fics

[thorne_scratch]

I need to get Kadrin to tell me where the link to that story is; I was trawling through his livejournal to no avail. It's so awesome.

To be fair, that conversation happened shortly before/during the Winter Olympics, when I would expect Shaun White gum marketing effortd to be at their highest efforts. I am not sure of its current status! Part of me rather hopes it's around, though.

Please do the people taste thing and let me know of what you say! It's one of those pet peeves that kind of drives me bonkers when I run into the same thing over and over. Ugh.

Anyway. I'm glad this made you laugh and you piped up. Haven't heard from you in too long, dude. I was looking for someone to be sad at the other day that Michael is in rehab, and it seemed to be that swimming RPF fandom is a largely Lochte-centric place now, which just makes me ragequit out.

[alhazred]

Oh the old swimming RPF days, when there was a little bit of gymnastics on the side and no one myself included knew the winter athletes existed yet. I'm usually good about not getting all "OH I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW OLD I AM" when remembering things but two exceptions are definitely a) Athens was ten years ago and b) we are three years away from Final Fantasy VII being twenty years old

[thorne_scratch]

Yeah, I feel kind of annoyed that the summer Olympics missed out on some of the fandom movements, but I probably would have just gotten annoyed anyway, so no harm done. God, the Hamm twins. I remember you guys. And Michael was a baby, and there were TWO Ians, and no one really cared about Ryan Lochte, and Grant Hackett wasn't unfortunately puffy yet. Those were the good old days.

I hope you get to give the panel! I will expect to hear all about it if you do.

My life is too sad right now for me to wallow in being sad about Michael as well; I will save that for whenever he surfaces out of rehab.

Oh God, sexy corn, what the everliving fuckall is wrong with the world.

[thebaconfat]

I laughed SO HARD about Cloud's leap year calendar. And the sexy dance-off. And the overly specific prompt.

[thebaconfat]

also Shaun White chewing Shaun White gum.

[thorne_scratch]

I admit, I am INORDINATELY PROUD of the Shaun White thing. It was like one of those lightning bolts of inspiration that just descend on you.

[thorne_scratch]

Cloud's poker face is directly evolved from his lying-to-Zack face. Eventually, Zack wises up and starts making Sephiroth ask things, because Cloud still can't lie to Sephiroth without passing out. And then SEPHIROTH wises up, and starts fucking with Zack AND Cloud. It's a twisted affair that ends in sex more often than not.

I should have found a way to get Jareth/Billy Idol into the Yuletide requests. DAMMIT.

I miss you and Squeem, you should come back to visit, I will make bacon for everyone. But not Baco. I will not cook you. Yet.

...when you eat bacon, is it like breaking the fourth wall?