What the living hell is this?

[thistle_chaser]

This post on an Asperger comm boggles me. I actually stopped chewing dinner to just sit and peer at the screen. At first I thought I was misunderstanding things. The first line is:

I have just learned that my toddler nephew is on the spectrum! I can't tell you how excited this makes me.That read like she was happy the nephew had it. That had to be

Comments

[beauty_forashes]

This is a disease, yes?

No, it's not a disease - lol. However, I agree with your point. Aspergers is something I wouldn't wish on any kid, it made life extremely rough on me. Not so much because of social awkwardness, but because of many other things I'm still learning to figure out and deal with, that's one reason I read that community with varying degrees of interest that range from "Oh okay, that was helpful" to downright gobsmacked, sometimes not in a pleasant way. What I've really disliked there is A) the sense of entitlement and being "special" some people display, and B) this obsessive cult that's made of "symptoms" that tends to go on there. Would I want to change? No, because then I wouldn't be "me", but then I'm not on the lower functioning end of the spectrum, so it's easy for me to say. But again, I wouldn't be happy if a kid I know is diagnosed either, knowing the challenges he's going to face and the things he's going to be missing out on.

[thistle_chaser]

Hmm, that makes sense. Thanks!

[beauty_forashes]

Of course I couldn't keep my yap shut in the comm, but fortunately there wasn't any drama and a couple people saw it from the same perspective. Still, sometimes I just think..."Oy veh..." :|

[thistle_chaser]

I have that same trouble all the time. See also: My post that started this all. :P

[firebyrd]

Definitely not a disease, but a disorder that I don't understand why someone would ever be excited that someone had. Obviously people like Temple Grandin have produced amazing work due to the differences in their brain processes, but given how society is and how there tend to be so many sensitivities associated with the autism spectrum...yeah. Not something you should ever, ever want someone else to have, even to feel less alone in one's family.

Should people whose brain functions differently be treated poorly? Of course not. That doesn't mean we should wish such abnormalities to happen to other people.

[blightheart]

I feel like there's backpedaling going on too, because the writer says that they really meant that they were happy that the child would be born into a sympathetic family, but sorry, "Oh, and they have another baby on the way. Yes, my fingers are crossed for another Aspie!" does not mean that. To me, and I can't figure out what else this could possibly mean the way it's written, it looks like of all the possible outcomes of the pregnancy, this person is HOPING that the child will be born with it. So it's not even just a passive, "Well at least I'm not alone", it's actively hoping that more and more children are born with this. That's pretty messed up.

[thistle_chaser]

To me, and I can't figure out what else this could possibly mean the way it's written, it looks like of all the possible outcomes of the pregnancy, this person is HOPING that the child will be born with it.

That's just how I was reading it, too. Try as I might, I can't read it any other way.

[thistle_chaser]

Totally agreed, on your whole comment. As someone said above, if the kid already had it and the people were relieved that they got the diagnosis so they could start dealing with the issue, that would be different.

[bricriu]

I find attitudes like that generally come from brats who don't really have Asperger's (and are usually self diagnosed via wikipedia), but like to tell people that they do so people will excuse their douchebag, annoying behavior because, "Oh, I can't help it!"

Same goes for ADD/ADHD.

[thistle_chaser]

Yeah, that was my thought as well. Same with dyslexia, half the kids out there who can't spell claim to have it. It's not just an excuse! It's an actual, real thing!

[bricriu]

There's a world of difference between "not fitting in" because it's how you purposely present yourself to make yourself feel somehow unique or to stand out and "not fitting in" because there's genuinely something...off...about you that you can't explain and others can't really explain either

[thistle_chaser]

You hit the nail right on the head. I can't see wishing it onto anyone. (And I'm sorry you have to deal with it yourself!)

[sahn]

I came across these two blog posts (written by the same person) today and it reminded me of your post

[sahn]

I should say that I don't really know much about aspergers. But here's also something interesting from the wikipedia article about aspergers about why someone might be excited about it.

"Some researchers have argued that AS can be viewed as a different cognitive style, not a disorder or a disability,[10] and that it should be removed from the standard Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, much as homosexuality was removed.[108] In a 2002 paper, Simon Baron-Cohen wrote of those with AS, 'In the social world, there is no great benefit to a precise eye for detail, but in the worlds of maths, computing, cataloguing, music, linguistics, engineering, and science, such an eye for detail can lead to success rather than failure.'"

[thistle_chaser]

I read a (fictional) book based on that idea. Unfortunately I didn't make it through the whole book, but it was an interesting idea.

[thistle_chaser]

Hmm, interesting. Thanks for the links!