entry 065 - all summer long [2/14]
Title: All Summer Long [2/14]
Author: jamie_love13
Pairings/Characters: Jared/Tom in this chapter. See main post for all.
Word Count: 1,984 Words for this chapter;
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst
Warnings Making out, swearwords, pressure to sex.
Notes: Chapter 3 will be posted later tonight. Sorry for the long wait on this chapter, as I was away for the week. Enjoy this one, guys. Click here for posting schedule; Click here for masterpost
Previous Chapter
They had been in this cabin for exactly one week and already, Jensen was ready to put a shotgun to his head. He knew that he needed to tread carefully around Jared because he was expected to, no matter when they met with one another again. However, he never expected that he would have to tread carefully around his best friends, always having to pick his words carefully and not be too affectionate towards Jeff when they were all in one room together. Whether it was the two of them holding hands, whispering in one another’s ears or even just looking at one another, his friends - or well, the people he had thought were his friends - glare at him, crack their knuckles or sigh and roll their eyes like they think that Jensen can’t go without doing any of those things to his boyfriend. And goddamnit, if he wants to do anything to his boyfriend, he better damn well be able to, thank you very much. Now, he’s not an idiot, he knows that a lot of his friends are just trying to protect Jared but Jared’s a grown man, and it’s not like what he did really hurt him in some phenomenal way, so the dude shouldn’t really need to be protected.
Sighing, Jensen looks up to see that his boyfriend is talking to Sandy and everyone else is already busy. He gets up slowly, stretching his body to its fullest potential, a yawn escaping his mouth. He knows he’s not tired, hasn’t felt exhausted in such a long time - if anything, Jensen’s just bored, looking for something to occupy his mind, what with his boyfriend flirting with Sandy. He has to snort at that because there’s no way that’ll ever happen but Jensen will let the poor girl dream all she wants. After letting himself have a laugh, he finds himself in front of Jared’s bedroom and has to bite his lip before he can get into the thoughts as to why he ended up here in the first place.
The door, a beautiful oak door looks closed, and Jensen really wants to try the doorknob but knows that even the slightest movement will wake the occupants inside. And while Jensen’s stomach hurts that that visual, he presses his ear against the doorway, curious to see what’s going on, even if it means by using his ears. He can hear a moan coming through the door, and his palms begin to sweat when he realizes how familiar that fucking moan is, how much he fucking aches for it. He takes a gulp of fresh air, notices a crack in between the door and the door jam and grins. Silently, and carefully, Jensen pushes the door open slightly, enough to see enough of the inside of the bedroom. Jensen has to admit that the bedroom is beautiful and fucking perfect, but what catches his eye at first is definitely not the bedroom arrangements.
Jensen’s eyes are riveted to Jared, who’s currently got his tongue in his boyfriends’ mouth and is making obscene noises that Jensen hasn’t heard in a year, hasn’t let himself think about in a year, no matter how he wants to. He can see that Jared’s top is pulled up, some buttons undone, and a bulge very well noticeable in his pants. Jensen gulps at the sight, tries not to feel jealous at that but fuck it. His boyfriend, Tom, his hands are everywhere on Jared, roaming, never able to stay still and Jensen just wants to rip those hands away from Jared`s body. He hears Jared moan again, has to adjust himself swiftly and fuck if that doesn`t make him feel stupid. Jensen sees Tom`s fingers head towards the button of Jared`s jeans and Jensen has to try everything he can to not growl out loud - he let Jared go a long time ago, and with another moan coming out of Jared`s mouth, Jensen realizes just how true this is. He must be standing there for at least fifteen minutes, feeling like a pervert, all because he can`t stop watching his ex-boyfriend making out with his new boyfriend, but Jensen`s curious, willing to hate Jared for everything he caused Jensen - absolutely nothing, but that wasn`t the point.
A good few minutes later, Jensen can see Tom`s hands head towards Jared`s buttons on his pants again, rubbing his dick quickly through the fabric of the jeans. Jared throws his head back and Tom just keeps rubbing Jared`s dick but Jensen knows that if it had been him, he would`ve latched onto Jared`s neck desperately, and Jared would`ve grown harder at that action. He shakes his head and watches as Tom pushes down Jared`s pants - or, at least, tries to. Jensen doesn`t know what happens, all he knows is that Jared had said no and Tom had sighed, had done so in a way that suggested that he did that kind of sigh often. The duo goes back to plain old kissing and Jensen feels something akin to relief in him and he doesn`t know why, doesn`t know why it would matter.
“Jared, please.” He hears Tom whine, and he does his hardest not to roll his eyes or grow angry when he hears a sigh coming from Jared’s mouth.
“Tom, you know I can’t.” Jensen scrunches up his face at that statement, wants to know why Jared can’t, won’t. They’ve stopped kissing now, Tom with his hands on the inside of Jared’s pants and Jared’s body telling him to back the fuck off and Jensen just wants to growl out some more. He sees Tom look at Jared appraisingly, part of him checking him out, even though they’re fucking dating. Before tonight, Jensen always assumed that Jared and Tom were indeed fucking but if today is a normal day for them, Jensen is definitely beginning to have his doubt about these two.
“Why not, Jared? We’ve been together six months already, and I chased you for a good four beforehand. Surely I deserve a fuck by now.” Jensen watches as Jared flinches, as his fingers clench into the bedding they were previously rolling around in and Jensen just wants to punch this asshole.
“Why the hell won’t you have sex with me, Jared?” Tom nearly growls and Jensen’s fists clench in anger and annoyance, unsure of why he’s acting like this, especially since he’s the one that let Jared go in the first place. Jared’s eyes go wide and his lip juts out and Jensen can feel his heart breaking right then and there because he knows that look - it’s the one look that always killed him in arguments.
“Tom...”
“Why won’t you say yes to sex with me, Jay?” Jensen flinches at the nickname and he sees Jared do the same before he sighs in resignation.
“You remember how you found me, right Tom?” Jensen watches as Tom nods his head, his brow furrowing and Jensen can only feel confusion because he has no idea what Jared is talking about, and isn’t that just the clincher of this whole fucking mess.
“Yeah, in the hospital.” Tom replies and Jensen furrows his brow this time because why the hell would Jared be at hospital and how did it lead to him meeting the freaking dude.
“You kept asking me out and I told you to trust me, told you I wasn’t ready, and you waited, god Tom, you waited for me for months to get over everything.” Jensen hears Jared whisper, his voice sounding so heartbroken that Jensen’s own heart breaks a little on the inside.
“And you were so careful with me, Tom, so fucking careful. It’s just, Tom, Jensen - Jensen was the first man I ever loved. He was the first man I fell in love with, kissed, had sex with, did a lot of things with. Before him, it was always nothing or females.” Jared takes a breath and Jensen grabs his heart, can feel the pain he hasn’t let himself feel in so long. He can feel himself wishing he had never hurt Jared, because Jared was his first love as he was his. He can feel him wishing he’d never put any blame of what happened onto Jared because he knows it was his fault, not Jared’s, no matter what.
“It’s just... Tom. You need to understand, I will always love Jensen, and it will always kill me to see him, especially with anyone other than me. I’ll always dream about him and think of him and want to kill whoever it is he’s with but...” Jensen can see Jared look up at Tom, can see him lean closer to the guy. Next thing he knows, the two of them are kissing, hands everywhere and Jensen really just wants to roll his eyes and tell Jared to get on with it already, but he knows that by doing that, he’d be giving away his secret position. After a few minutes, the two of them split up, Tom trying to go back in for more, which is when Jensen hears it.
“But I think that if I could move on from Jensen with anyone, it would have to be with you, Tom.” Jensen can feel his heart drop into his stomach, can feel it stop beating completely yet start beating even faster than what it was beforehand. He knows he shouldn’t be feeling this way because god fucking dammit, he’s the one that hurt Jared, he’s the one that broke them up in the worst way possible. So why was that one simple sentence hurting him so damn much?
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Jared’s staring at Tom, biting his lip softly and wondering if what he did was the right thing. He had known Jensen was there the moment he arrived, he would always know when Jensen was close by him, how could he not? Like he told Tom, Jensen was the first man he had ever loved, would probably be the only man he would ever love.
Jared was never sure if he could truly love Tom the way he told Tom, but the guy was right there and the guy wanted sex so badly and motherfuck, he’s already been patient enough, chasing him for months before finally getting him on a date. He bites his lip, knows Jensen is still there and honestly can’t imagine himself being with anyone other than Jensen, and he just doesn’t know how to feel about that. He shakes his head, knocking the hair out of his eyes before letting his eyes skitter towards Jensen. He sees him tense, ready to flee but Jared just looks down, feeling a little guilty for what he’s about to do to Tom, and possibly Jensen, if the guy still has a heart. He looks back up at Jensen, bites his lip and looks over to Tom, and then kisses him slowly.
“Yeah, I can see myself getting over him with you,” He says , eyes briefly going over to Jensen, who has a brief look of anger on his face before a smirk takes its place. It’s a good thing, Jared has to remind himself, because he wants Jensen to know that there’s no way he’ll be able to move on from the guy, but he’s for sure going to fucking try, no matter how hard it is or who he has to fuck in order for it to work.
The one thing that scares Jared the most though, is the fact that he’s worried. He’s worried that the both of them will take this game a little too far, will say things that are a little too harsh and will do things that are going to hurt a hell of a lot of people. Things that are going to end up hurting Jared more than anything else, and definitely breaking him for good for once.
Next Chapter
Author: jamie_love13
Pairings/Characters: Jared/Tom in this chapter. See main post for all.
Word Count: 1,984 Words for this chapter;
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst
Warnings Making out, swearwords, pressure to sex.
Notes: Chapter 3 will be posted later tonight. Sorry for the long wait on this chapter, as I was away for the week. Enjoy this one, guys. Click here for posting schedule; Click here for masterpost
Previous Chapter
They had been in this cabin for exactly one week and already, Jensen was ready to put a shotgun to his head. He knew that he needed to tread carefully around Jared because he was expected to, no matter when they met with one another again. However, he never expected that he would have to tread carefully around his best friends, always having to pick his words carefully and not be too affectionate towards Jeff when they were all in one room together. Whether it was the two of them holding hands, whispering in one another’s ears or even just looking at one another, his friends - or well, the people he had thought were his friends - glare at him, crack their knuckles or sigh and roll their eyes like they think that Jensen can’t go without doing any of those things to his boyfriend. And goddamnit, if he wants to do anything to his boyfriend, he better damn well be able to, thank you very much. Now, he’s not an idiot, he knows that a lot of his friends are just trying to protect Jared but Jared’s a grown man, and it’s not like what he did really hurt him in some phenomenal way, so the dude shouldn’t really need to be protected.
Sighing, Jensen looks up to see that his boyfriend is talking to Sandy and everyone else is already busy. He gets up slowly, stretching his body to its fullest potential, a yawn escaping his mouth. He knows he’s not tired, hasn’t felt exhausted in such a long time - if anything, Jensen’s just bored, looking for something to occupy his mind, what with his boyfriend flirting with Sandy. He has to snort at that because there’s no way that’ll ever happen but Jensen will let the poor girl dream all she wants. After letting himself have a laugh, he finds himself in front of Jared’s bedroom and has to bite his lip before he can get into the thoughts as to why he ended up here in the first place.
The door, a beautiful oak door looks closed, and Jensen really wants to try the doorknob but knows that even the slightest movement will wake the occupants inside. And while Jensen’s stomach hurts that that visual, he presses his ear against the doorway, curious to see what’s going on, even if it means by using his ears. He can hear a moan coming through the door, and his palms begin to sweat when he realizes how familiar that fucking moan is, how much he fucking aches for it. He takes a gulp of fresh air, notices a crack in between the door and the door jam and grins. Silently, and carefully, Jensen pushes the door open slightly, enough to see enough of the inside of the bedroom. Jensen has to admit that the bedroom is beautiful and fucking perfect, but what catches his eye at first is definitely not the bedroom arrangements.
Jensen’s eyes are riveted to Jared, who’s currently got his tongue in his boyfriends’ mouth and is making obscene noises that Jensen hasn’t heard in a year, hasn’t let himself think about in a year, no matter how he wants to. He can see that Jared’s top is pulled up, some buttons undone, and a bulge very well noticeable in his pants. Jensen gulps at the sight, tries not to feel jealous at that but fuck it. His boyfriend, Tom, his hands are everywhere on Jared, roaming, never able to stay still and Jensen just wants to rip those hands away from Jared`s body. He hears Jared moan again, has to adjust himself swiftly and fuck if that doesn`t make him feel stupid. Jensen sees Tom`s fingers head towards the button of Jared`s jeans and Jensen has to try everything he can to not growl out loud - he let Jared go a long time ago, and with another moan coming out of Jared`s mouth, Jensen realizes just how true this is. He must be standing there for at least fifteen minutes, feeling like a pervert, all because he can`t stop watching his ex-boyfriend making out with his new boyfriend, but Jensen`s curious, willing to hate Jared for everything he caused Jensen - absolutely nothing, but that wasn`t the point.
A good few minutes later, Jensen can see Tom`s hands head towards Jared`s buttons on his pants again, rubbing his dick quickly through the fabric of the jeans. Jared throws his head back and Tom just keeps rubbing Jared`s dick but Jensen knows that if it had been him, he would`ve latched onto Jared`s neck desperately, and Jared would`ve grown harder at that action. He shakes his head and watches as Tom pushes down Jared`s pants - or, at least, tries to. Jensen doesn`t know what happens, all he knows is that Jared had said no and Tom had sighed, had done so in a way that suggested that he did that kind of sigh often. The duo goes back to plain old kissing and Jensen feels something akin to relief in him and he doesn`t know why, doesn`t know why it would matter.
“Jared, please.” He hears Tom whine, and he does his hardest not to roll his eyes or grow angry when he hears a sigh coming from Jared’s mouth.
“Tom, you know I can’t.” Jensen scrunches up his face at that statement, wants to know why Jared can’t, won’t. They’ve stopped kissing now, Tom with his hands on the inside of Jared’s pants and Jared’s body telling him to back the fuck off and Jensen just wants to growl out some more. He sees Tom look at Jared appraisingly, part of him checking him out, even though they’re fucking dating. Before tonight, Jensen always assumed that Jared and Tom were indeed fucking but if today is a normal day for them, Jensen is definitely beginning to have his doubt about these two.
“Why not, Jared? We’ve been together six months already, and I chased you for a good four beforehand. Surely I deserve a fuck by now.” Jensen watches as Jared flinches, as his fingers clench into the bedding they were previously rolling around in and Jensen just wants to punch this asshole.
“Why the hell won’t you have sex with me, Jared?” Tom nearly growls and Jensen’s fists clench in anger and annoyance, unsure of why he’s acting like this, especially since he’s the one that let Jared go in the first place. Jared’s eyes go wide and his lip juts out and Jensen can feel his heart breaking right then and there because he knows that look - it’s the one look that always killed him in arguments.
“Tom...”
“Why won’t you say yes to sex with me, Jay?” Jensen flinches at the nickname and he sees Jared do the same before he sighs in resignation.
“You remember how you found me, right Tom?” Jensen watches as Tom nods his head, his brow furrowing and Jensen can only feel confusion because he has no idea what Jared is talking about, and isn’t that just the clincher of this whole fucking mess.
“Yeah, in the hospital.” Tom replies and Jensen furrows his brow this time because why the hell would Jared be at hospital and how did it lead to him meeting the freaking dude.
“You kept asking me out and I told you to trust me, told you I wasn’t ready, and you waited, god Tom, you waited for me for months to get over everything.” Jensen hears Jared whisper, his voice sounding so heartbroken that Jensen’s own heart breaks a little on the inside.
“And you were so careful with me, Tom, so fucking careful. It’s just, Tom, Jensen - Jensen was the first man I ever loved. He was the first man I fell in love with, kissed, had sex with, did a lot of things with. Before him, it was always nothing or females.” Jared takes a breath and Jensen grabs his heart, can feel the pain he hasn’t let himself feel in so long. He can feel himself wishing he had never hurt Jared, because Jared was his first love as he was his. He can feel him wishing he’d never put any blame of what happened onto Jared because he knows it was his fault, not Jared’s, no matter what.
“It’s just... Tom. You need to understand, I will always love Jensen, and it will always kill me to see him, especially with anyone other than me. I’ll always dream about him and think of him and want to kill whoever it is he’s with but...” Jensen can see Jared look up at Tom, can see him lean closer to the guy. Next thing he knows, the two of them are kissing, hands everywhere and Jensen really just wants to roll his eyes and tell Jared to get on with it already, but he knows that by doing that, he’d be giving away his secret position. After a few minutes, the two of them split up, Tom trying to go back in for more, which is when Jensen hears it.
“But I think that if I could move on from Jensen with anyone, it would have to be with you, Tom.” Jensen can feel his heart drop into his stomach, can feel it stop beating completely yet start beating even faster than what it was beforehand. He knows he shouldn’t be feeling this way because god fucking dammit, he’s the one that hurt Jared, he’s the one that broke them up in the worst way possible. So why was that one simple sentence hurting him so damn much?
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Jared’s staring at Tom, biting his lip softly and wondering if what he did was the right thing. He had known Jensen was there the moment he arrived, he would always know when Jensen was close by him, how could he not? Like he told Tom, Jensen was the first man he had ever loved, would probably be the only man he would ever love.
Jared was never sure if he could truly love Tom the way he told Tom, but the guy was right there and the guy wanted sex so badly and motherfuck, he’s already been patient enough, chasing him for months before finally getting him on a date. He bites his lip, knows Jensen is still there and honestly can’t imagine himself being with anyone other than Jensen, and he just doesn’t know how to feel about that. He shakes his head, knocking the hair out of his eyes before letting his eyes skitter towards Jensen. He sees him tense, ready to flee but Jared just looks down, feeling a little guilty for what he’s about to do to Tom, and possibly Jensen, if the guy still has a heart. He looks back up at Jensen, bites his lip and looks over to Tom, and then kisses him slowly.
“Yeah, I can see myself getting over him with you,” He says , eyes briefly going over to Jensen, who has a brief look of anger on his face before a smirk takes its place. It’s a good thing, Jared has to remind himself, because he wants Jensen to know that there’s no way he’ll be able to move on from the guy, but he’s for sure going to fucking try, no matter how hard it is or who he has to fuck in order for it to work.
The one thing that scares Jared the most though, is the fact that he’s worried. He’s worried that the both of them will take this game a little too far, will say things that are a little too harsh and will do things that are going to hurt a hell of a lot of people. Things that are going to end up hurting Jared more than anything else, and definitely breaking him for good for once.
Next Chapter