88 Lines about 44 Presidents
Blame wealhtheow and Grover Cleveland. (Okay, and the song.)
88 Lines about 44 Presidents
Washington was quite reluctant
Didn't want to rule the land,
Adams, more enthusiastic,
Claimed Sedition Acts were grand,
Jefferson bought half the nation,
Headlined the two dollar bill,
Madison's Federalist Papers
Seemed to give him quite a thrill.
Monroe was a flagpole bearer
Spread Good Feelings through and through,
Quincy Adams followed father,
No one ever called him Q,
Jackson, he was one tough bastard,
Old Hickory through wartime years,
Van Buren grew up speaking Dutch
Then oversaw the Trail of Tears.
William Henry Harrison would
Rock the vote with "Tip and Ty"
Tyler walked in one month later
When his predecessor died,
Polk was "that one" old-school style,
Then pushed a westward Destiny,
Taylor thought that compromise
Might swing deserters from a tree.
Fillmore knew nothing at all,
Sent Perry's Black Ships to Japan,
Pierce was dubbed a doughface, then
Let Cuba slip right through his hands,
James Buchanan, bachelor,
Left it all up to history,
Lincoln rode the storms of war,
From Gettysburg to poor Bixby.
Andrew Johnson fought with Congress,
Reconstruction, then impeached,
Grant raced in his horse and buggy
And speed limits overreached,
Hayes got in by one elector,
And granted female lawyers rights,
Garfield was much more unlucky,
Shot in Stalwart party fights,
Arthur, maverick reformer,
Also was a fashion plate,
Grover Cleveland kept gold standards
As the currency's fixed rate,
Harrison then overthrew him,
Buying up the Blocks of Five,
Cleveland came back with a vengeance,
Strikers watched the troops arrive.
(Uh-uh. Not Cleveland.)
McKinley sent the Maine to Cuba,
Blew a mine to start a war
Roosevelt carried a big stick,
Hiked in forests, hung with Muir,
Taft, a fan of jurisprudence,
Left the White House for the Court,
Wilson and his Versailles treaty.
Cut "War to End All Wars" short.
Harding had bribery scandals,
Ran aground on Teapot Dome
Coolidge liked his laissez-faire,
And played up "Silent Cal" at home,
Hoover held Efficiency
Right up until the markets died,
Roosevelt held fireside chats
Then took the New Deal forth to try.
Truman wouldn't pass the buck,
He fought McCarthy over spies,
Eisenhower? Roads and rights,
He added God in public guise.
Kennedy ruled Camelot,
A generation's "where were you?"
Johnson, he got Vietnam and
Our first wiretap ballyhoo.
Nixon, when touched by audits,
Snubbed the mink but kept the dog,
Ford traveled to fair Helsinki,
Served as a golf program's cog.
Carter was a peanut farmer,
He tried to live within his means,
Reagan was a movie star
Who filled the jar with jellybeans
Bush the first, he led the spies,
Put "cheerful" in the CIA,
Clinton was already smiling
Recruited Blair for the Third Way,
Bush II's high-amp approval rates,
Show most constituents are pissed,
Obama's campaign promised change,
We voted "hope" to end this list.
Eighty-eight lines about forty-four Presidents.
88 Lines about 44 Presidents
Washington was quite reluctant
Didn't want to rule the land,
Adams, more enthusiastic,
Claimed Sedition Acts were grand,
Jefferson bought half the nation,
Headlined the two dollar bill,
Madison's Federalist Papers
Seemed to give him quite a thrill.
Monroe was a flagpole bearer
Spread Good Feelings through and through,
Quincy Adams followed father,
No one ever called him Q,
Jackson, he was one tough bastard,
Old Hickory through wartime years,
Van Buren grew up speaking Dutch
Then oversaw the Trail of Tears.
William Henry Harrison would
Rock the vote with "Tip and Ty"
Tyler walked in one month later
When his predecessor died,
Polk was "that one" old-school style,
Then pushed a westward Destiny,
Taylor thought that compromise
Might swing deserters from a tree.
Fillmore knew nothing at all,
Sent Perry's Black Ships to Japan,
Pierce was dubbed a doughface, then
Let Cuba slip right through his hands,
James Buchanan, bachelor,
Left it all up to history,
Lincoln rode the storms of war,
From Gettysburg to poor Bixby.
Andrew Johnson fought with Congress,
Reconstruction, then impeached,
Grant raced in his horse and buggy
And speed limits overreached,
Hayes got in by one elector,
And granted female lawyers rights,
Garfield was much more unlucky,
Shot in Stalwart party fights,
Arthur, maverick reformer,
Also was a fashion plate,
Grover Cleveland kept gold standards
As the currency's fixed rate,
Harrison then overthrew him,
Buying up the Blocks of Five,
Cleveland came back with a vengeance,
Strikers watched the troops arrive.
(Uh-uh. Not Cleveland.)
McKinley sent the Maine to Cuba,
Blew a mine to start a war
Roosevelt carried a big stick,
Hiked in forests, hung with Muir,
Taft, a fan of jurisprudence,
Left the White House for the Court,
Wilson and his Versailles treaty.
Cut "War to End All Wars" short.
Harding had bribery scandals,
Ran aground on Teapot Dome
Coolidge liked his laissez-faire,
And played up "Silent Cal" at home,
Hoover held Efficiency
Right up until the markets died,
Roosevelt held fireside chats
Then took the New Deal forth to try.
Truman wouldn't pass the buck,
He fought McCarthy over spies,
Eisenhower? Roads and rights,
He added God in public guise.
Kennedy ruled Camelot,
A generation's "where were you?"
Johnson, he got Vietnam and
Our first wiretap ballyhoo.
Nixon, when touched by audits,
Snubbed the mink but kept the dog,
Ford traveled to fair Helsinki,
Served as a golf program's cog.
Carter was a peanut farmer,
He tried to live within his means,
Reagan was a movie star
Who filled the jar with jellybeans
Bush the first, he led the spies,
Put "cheerful" in the CIA,
Clinton was already smiling
Recruited Blair for the Third Way,
Bush II's high-amp approval rates,
Show most constituents are pissed,
Obama's campaign promised change,
We voted "hope" to end this list.
Eighty-eight lines about forty-four Presidents.