Aurificium Magica

[thewishfire]

I keep thinking about my name. Or, I guess it's not really my name as such, just the name that was mistakenly given to me when everyone thought I was Theofratus' son. Aurelius. I thought about just dropping it-- I even told sensei she could take it off my records. After all, I'm a Mana. Mana don't generally have last names, although I guess there's

Comments

[pillarofruin]

I will never not feel that that name belongs to another person, first and foremost... But you have spent your whole life with it. I'm not going to ask you to shed it if it means something to you.

Especially because, perhaps, he fulfilled his name in you...

[thewishfire]

Fulfilled it in me.... That's a nice way to think of it.... I suppose... I am the golden thing he sought to make exist, aren't I.

It's a strange thought... as an alchemist, I was always looking for the origin of that golden nature in something apart from myself. I know you create the Philosopher's Stone inside your own heart, and everything, and that means accepting your nature as godly... but... I guess it never sunk in as much as it should.

How could it... how could it, if I was denying everything I was.... No wonder I was a bad student, hopelessly lost, not even knowing what I wanted to do with alchemy. If I was denying myself, how could I get even the basic ideas behind it... how could I know what I wanted, if I didn't truly understand what it was for enough to know that the real question was, what am I for

[pillarofruin]

I don't think you were denying everything you were, not in the way that-- that I was, that people are when they say that. I think you didn't have the pieces in place to know what you were, but I don't think you ever thought otherwise from the principles of alchemy. You never had a thought in your head that denied it. You just didn't know what it was.

It is a shame that he didn't see his way through a little further... I used to be glad that you didn't know what you were, but that was when I feared your power's awakening. But I always did think you could have done with a bit of an explanation, not necessarily about yourself, but about alchemy. How could you know what you were for if you didn't know where you came from or what you were meant to serve? A creation like you isn't used up once and forgotten. You were going to continue to tick, to move, to do things, and you ought to have at least enough direction to know the point of existing at all. Had you really been a child from a family of alchemists, you'd have known the point of

[thewishfire]

I could have helped him... I just didn't know what to do.

I would have liked to know. And if I spent so much of my time here not knowing, and being frustrating for you all on that account, I'm sorry... I regret it for myself, too, because this knowledge is so much.... But I have it now, I know now, and even if it took me a while to figure it out... it's not too late, not at all.

[exceedinglife]

...Speaking of names, what's with all the fancy titles lately?

[pillarofruin]

I personally believe in my language reflecting the reverence I feel towards my Mana, so I prefer to address them with a high level of respect... Vayne-sama wanted to do the same to me, but I prefer the inequality, as I believe it's a true reflection of the nature of things. He is a transcended being here to guide me in my own mortal toils, and I find it only fitting to lower myself before him... It feels right, and I derive more joy from that than I ever could from his using fancy titles back on me.

Roxis, on the other hand, didn't tell him not to, I think.

[exceedinglife]

Aha, I see.... It's really very beautiful that you can look at him like that. It was a bit odd at first, but thinking about that and hearing you say it, it's a little easier for me to think of him as... as what he really is.

...Vayne-sama. That our workshopmate could be someone who would deserve such a title.... I think I'm still a little shocked.

[strivinghigher]

I think we all are.