19th Contraption // Video // The Start of Acceptance.... [Backdated to Saturday Afternoon]
[The camera turns on as Caesar lifts his datapad up closer to his face, looking down into the camera. In the background, barely visible, is the trunk of the memorial that Wally and others made. Caesar's been there for a while--not that anyone viewing the video would know that.It's occurred to me that some of these nightmares have a silver lining:
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...glad I could help.
I think...it was kinda helpful for me, too.
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It helped you too? ... I can't even begin to describe how much you helped me. You've grown so much, mijo.
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[Even if he did, he didn't know who he would've turned to for comfort. He lets out a shaky breath, glancing up at the memorial.] It was easier to.. to pretend they were just somewhere else.
[Caesar simply shakes his head. It's easier to talk to Rex now that Rex had seen him at his most vulnerable. Rex had been there for him, and Caesar would never forget that.]
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[He smiles a little.]
I'm just glad you let me help. And that you're feeling better.
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I do feel better, in a way. It's.. healthier. It hurts more, but it always hurts more when you think about it. I couldn't do that before, but I can now.
[The elder Salazar goes quiet. He's debating on what he's saying next, turning it over in his head. Slowly, Caesar seems to start fighting to keep his expression even. The part about the hurting was the truth. It hurts. Caesar, leans forward closer to his datapad, closing his eyes, and brings a hand to his forehead as he makes himself breathe evenly. He laughs shakily, managing a quirk of a smile. Whatever he was going to say is forgotten for his mood.]
Ha. [He opens his eyes, which are now wet with withheld tears, and quirks a bit of a self-deprecating smile.] How is a man supposed to grieve when he's not supposed to show weakness? I've never felt like this. I.. I do not know.
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Night and day, Order and Chaos, weakness and strength... Can't have one without the other, hermano. It's Balance. You can't be strong until you've been weak, first. Because how do you know what strength is until you understand weakness?
This...it's not even real weakness, anyway. People grieve over stuff like this because they love the people they lost. I think you're stronger if you face it and deal with it. It's just... it's human to be like that, you know?
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You mean... this is okay? I can react like this?
[He may be a genius, but when it comes to emotions, there's still so much that he has to learn. There's something else, though.]
... You don't mind?
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No, it's fine... I've...cried, too. A couple of times here, actually.
[He pauses.]
And...don't tell anyone else, but one time it was on Six's shoulder. I don't really want to explain what that was about to anyone because it was something personal between me and him, but...it happened. I'm not ashamed of it and he didn't get mad at me for it. I think it kinda said something about our bond back then, too.
[Though he feels sad talking about it now, since that was before Six lost his memories and things aren't really like that between them anymore...]
It's never cool to be so emo that you cry all the time about everything, obviously, but the important stuff... The stuff that matters most? It's okay. Nothing wrong with it.
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[Caesar's brows furrow up in confusion as he thinks about what Rex has said, the grief warring with his expression. He's having difficulty keeping himself calm, and it's a losing battle, but he still keeps facing down at his communicator. Somehow, it's not as shameful as it had been to react this way around his baby brother.
Rex was strong. Caesar knew that. If it was okay for Rex to cry on Six's shoulder--]
Rex... can you--[Caesar stops to swallow, a tear slipping from his lower eyelid and onto his datapad's screen.]--can you still teleport?
[He can't quite bring himself to ask for what he wants yet, but he hope Rex understands.]
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Yeah.
I'll be there in a few.
[With that, he shuts off his phone and the connection quits.]
[A few seconds tick by before Rex simply comes into existence mere feet from Caesar. Having been able to see his brother's surroundings in the background of the video feed, Rex had known exactly where to go.]
[Upon arriving, he says nothing, however. He merely looks to Caesar, concern in his eyes.]
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Then, all at once, Caesar's brother is there, and he isn't by himself anymore. Caesar turns and straightens to look at his brother, setting down his datapad carefully in the same movement. He opens his mouth to say something, but he still can't quite bring himself to ask for comfort outright.
It's kinda obvious what he needs when tears start rolling down his cheeks, anyways. He closes his mouth and swallows.]
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[This isn't about him, though. It's about both of them. And even more so about Caesar at that moment.]
[One of Rex's hands comes to rest on Caesar's shoulder... Then the younger Salazar is stepping closer, hand slipping down as he gets both arms around his brother.]
It's fine, Caesar. I promise.
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He still can't hold back his tears, and it's easier to let them flow when Rex is too close to see them. Caesar's eyes slide closed. His brother is here for him. Somehow, he manages a smile, another fake laugh. Caesar has always been a physical person, and the touch of his brother being close is comfort he desperately needed.]
I know. I... I have you.
[Rex is all he has left, besides Abuela, and she's hundreds of miles away back home. Yet she can't give Caesar the comfort that Rex can give him now. Caesar is only capable of letting his brother in.]
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[All of this is doing a lot to convince Rex that something really has gone terribly wrong at home. This is his brother. They're both Salazars, both connected despite Rex's amnesia and Caesar being away for several years. So there must be a logical explanation for everything Caesar is doing at home. Sooner or later (and likely sooner), they'll need to discuss all that. For now, at least, they've moved past another roadblock and managed to strengthen bond further.]
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After a while, his breath evens out. He sniffs, then laughs again. His voice is tiredly amused.]
I still cry like a little kid even as a man.
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