LJ Idol Season 9, Week 22: Sweep the Leg

[theun4givables]

“Please take a seat outside of courtroom 1B. The commissioner will be with you shortly,” the woman behind the sleek, black desk says, offering you a brief smile while slipping your civil notice back into your hands. You nod, give her a shaky smile in return, and turn on your heel.

Comments

[kajel]

Your leg or hers? Hugs. She will try to get away with whatever she can. I hope that the more you push back the stronger you will become. The panic, anxiety and second guessing is only natural at this point. You are doing your best for yourself and Bob.

[theun4givables]

Either -- though I was referring to her words being the sweep, for me. ;) Sarah's comments actually pushed me to realize what exactly was going on in my head.

And I hope so, too. I can't deal with the panic and anxiety very well, and it was really impacting my mood, having it resurface after her messages.

Hopefully it'll be seen that way, and not as me being a huge asshole. *sigh*

[kajel]

Ha, I just went to check on the workroom and read your whole thought process about this. ;) It worked really well before reading it, it works even better now.

[theun4givables]

Yeah, this is why I like to participate in the work room. :) My thought process can sometimes be all over the place, heh. I'm glad it worked well, both before and after. :)

[halfshellvenus]

Sometimes the truth stings the hardest, even if it's only partial-truth and especially if it's not sugar-coated.

But the upside is that you now know you do NOT have to feel that way, and these quandries are not examples of a "difficult personality" on your part. They're perfectly normal.

Finding your way back to that, after years of gaslighting, doesn't happen overnight. But you're moving in the right direction.

[theun4givables]

She later explained it in a less inflammatory manner, once I pointed out how much it pissed me off. But it was the truth and that's honestly what pissed me off, more, lol.

You know, Dr A commented on Tuesday that I wasn't doing my usual self-doubt thing whenever I have to assert myself in order to protect my needs. I guess that was because I didn't have Evelyn contacting me at all, heh.

Which is still a step in the right direction, yes. :) of course, now Evelyn is trying to put pressure on me via the only part of the pfa that she can use against me (visitation schedule), if her texts earlier today are any indication. Sigh.

[n3m3sis43]

I still feel like an asshole for putting it that way. The fact that it actually did get my point across only makes it worse. It is the way I saw that situation (but it's also not who you are), and I wish I had expressed it better. I mean, I tried to, a lot, and I failed at it pretty hard.

It's cool that you put up with me. <3

[theun4givables]

<3

Just remember,I probably still wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. =p

[dmousey]

Damn child, we're going to find you an exorcist. You are doing the right thing. You never, ever, were a bitch. If you let him twist and gain control of this money situation now, he'll continue and escalate to wanting more and more. He has to learn he can not FUCK with you, or dammit, i'll kick his manipulative, slimy ass. He does NOT want to hear mybwrath, whether he respects me or not.

Can you find someone to go with you? I would even call a women's advocacy and see if they had anyone who could, not to mention the court should.

You are strong, as for Sarah, true friends tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

[n3m3sis43]

You and I are on the same page about letting Ev have any illusion of control or that Alicia will allow any sort of screwing around. And that there is nothing bitchy or controlling about wanting the money you are legally owed, on time, so you can feed yourself and your child and afford things like doctor visits and new clothes and stuff when you need them and not whenever Ev gets around to paying.

I thought you might hate me for what I said, though. I'm glad you don't, even though I hate myself for it a little. As someone who grew up with an emotional abuser, I know "the truth" is not an excuse to be hurtful. But I don't always do a good job of speaking it without coming off uglier than I need to. I would like to believe that someday I'll learn.

We can kick Ev's ass together. I've offered a few times.

[dmousey]

::smooches:: to both of you. Sarah, I know you love her, and nott being 'in the situation' I knew you were right. Plus we all need plain language sometimes! <3. Curly-one, As long as you think you'll be ok going by yourself. Don't think your bothering people if you ask them to go with you. People love you, you know. Most of us know about the hmmm... lack of civility? There is in the situation, and will gladly help you... so ask. :)

[theun4givables]

I keep being told I'm doing the right thing but putting it in the hands of the court system is also something I'm not particularly fond of. But hopefully, my court date next week will go well.

I can look into it, but I don't really know if I'll find anything out in time. I also don't know if I can have anyone go with me -- but ignoring her is easy enough, honestly. No eye contact and focus all of my attention on my notebook.

I know. :) that's why I didn't stay mad at her for very long.

[redqueenofevil]

It seems like you are getting stronger every day. Keep believing in yourself, and ignore Evelyn's words.

Sometimes, you just have to be a hard ass, and when it comes to support, that is perfectly fine. Take it from someone whose father turned out to be a total deadbeat to all of his kids.

[theun4givables]

I'll try. ;)

I keep telling myself that my divorce is not going to be like my mom and my dad's divorce. They are role model divorcees, I swear. My dad was never late with payment, frequently paid extra if my mother needed it, was involved with us as children...

If only, right? lol