(Untitled)
[Video flickers onto Izaya at his desk. This should become a pretty usual scene by now, guys. He's spinning around in his chair, laughing his ass off. But for once, the laughter seems completely genuine rather than his trademark insane laughter.]
I love this city, I LOVE THIS CITY~! The people, the sights, the sounds! Nya~!
[He stops abruptly and ( Read more... )
I love this city, I LOVE THIS CITY~! The people, the sights, the sounds! Nya~!
[He stops abruptly and ( Read more... )
I think they found safer methods of brain surgery some years ago.
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[ Ran chuckles. ]
I do not know about that. I think I am just lucky, too. His name is Gingetsu.
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[Worth quite the thought.]
Do you really now? And where is the luck in finding a counterpart for your soul I wonder? Ah, forgive me. I'm not very familiar with romance and relationships. That might've been too touching or..deep? What is like to be with him?
[No, he's genuinely curious here.]
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[ Not now when he had the opportunity to talk freely. What was the point in keeping secrets in a place like this? ]
The luck is simply in finding them. There are so many people in the world... what are the chances you find someone compatible?
It isn't like the fairy tale romance a lot of people seem to look for. He is gone a lot due to work, and things can get lonely. And when he is home, sometimes he is distracted or cranky. But...
[ A loving smile crosses his face. ]
It is wonderful to have him. To have someone who appreciates you, without the desire to own you. The best moments are the ones where we can simply be...comfortable. I like making him happy, and like it when he does special things for me, but the ability to sit with someone on the couch and simply enjoy an evening in each other's presence...that is a very beautiful thing.
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Ah...
[He hopes that isn't a personal question because...He's a little distracted by Ran's remarks about his own lover. Izaya tilts his head before looking off camera somewhere yet again. His face is quite serious.]
I am not sure...if love is something that I will ever personally experience. But..
[He hesitantly looks back at the camera and grins eventually.]
..I think I am okay with that. Ah- I mean, I am okay with that.
[A pause. He isn't sure how to respond- give him a moment. This guy isn't programed to understand or discuss love.]
Your relationship...It sounds very...content? Nice. Do you..love him?
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[ He has been watching Izaya's reactions, curious. He simply nods, however. ]
But if you are happy without love... I am glad.
[ Like everything Ran says, it is genuine. Talking to Izaya is strangely easy. He does not feel a need to be careful, not as he has around some people here. ]
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[The feeling is mutual. Izaya has never been so comfortable and open around someone before. It's a first and Izaya isn't about to abuse that.]
I love...humanity. Loving someone on an individual level though...
[His mouth quirks and this subject is really very uneasy for him- not that he shows such beyond a mild grimace.]
....I will stick to hating individually. Then again, I only really hate one person in the world- and I don't even constitute him as much of a human to begin with. Hehe.
[Another pause, and this time, he looks mildly frustrated before he sighs and offers a bright smile. He's okay!]
I am happy to know that Ran-san is not lonely. It's amazing what loneliness can do to a person, nn?
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[ It is not a judgment. He just does not wish to waste what little time he has on bitterness. ]
I think the world could use more people loving humanity as a whole, however. I wish I could be that generous.
[ But he smiles anyway. It is what he does. ]
Yes. Loneliness can be the most crippling of emotions. I hope you are not lonely, yourself.
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[The feelings were mutual anyway in that relationship as well.]
Generous?
[If you want to call it that. Others might call him sadistic for his passion of humanity. He reflects Ran's smile.]
Me? Lonely? How could I be lonely when I am surrounded by the very creatures that I absolutely love? I couldn't possibly be lonely when I have so many people to talk to, to observe, to learn from...
Do I come off as lonely?
[It is a sincere question- not bitter by any means. Does he?]
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[ He tilts his head to the side, considering it. ]
Yes and no. You seem quite confident. Happy with yourself. Yet on the other hand, perhaps a little wanting of company. One can be alone even with another person constantly around... or even many people around.
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[A quiet scoff and he smiles to himself.]
I won't deny that that's the truth...necessarily. I don't think too much about lonesome or human companionship when it comes to a personal level. Those things do not interest me.
Does Ran-san ever feel lonely...? I know that you have your lover but. Like you said.
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[ Watching people instead of interacting with them was how Ran was forced to spend most of his time, and he is curious as to why someone would wish that upon themselves. ]
I do. I suppose I am weak in that manner; I easily get lonely.
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[Good question.]
It's a hobby. Similar to bird watching one might say. It's complicated though. I love to interact with people. I have no interest in personal relationships but I do take pleasure in talking to people. I sort of...observe if my predictions of them are correct as they react to certain situations that I...arrange for them to be in.
[He really doesn't know how to explain this without sounding horrible. Not that he particularly cares about that but.]
It fascinates me.
[He tilts his head but then grins- reassuring.]
You are not weak- you're merely human. I think it is very natural for someone to feel lonely every now and then in their lives. It is one of the most unavoidable emotions. Even if you only feel it once every five years- for hyperbole sake of example.
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[ Arrange for them to be in, huh? Izaya is certainly a curious character, himself. Ran is not ignoring the darker hints the man gives him; he certainly takes note, but his view of what is normal and what is not is perhaps skewed. ]
That is quite true. I think it would be a unique person to never have felt loneliness...though I am not sure whether I would consider them lucky or not.
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[He closes his eyes and leans back into his chair. The statement sends his mind into a variety of directions.]That is a very fascinating concept. The idea of a person incapable of loneliness. I can believe that people do not feel love or hate. I can even believe someone who does not understand fear. Depending on the environment in which a child is raised, anything is possible. The question comes into play of...Had the child ever been told what loneliness is? Would the child be aware that they are lonely even if no one told them what it was ( ... )
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...to answer your question: yes. Even if you take a child away from all other people, give them a beautiful cage, and allow them to see no one...
[ He is remembering something, or perhaps someone. ]
They will be lonely.
Perhaps it is just an irrevocable part of human nature. Even those of us who are perfectly capable of living on our own, or, like you, have no desire for a relationship that lasts... in the end we are social creatures in one way or another, and we cannot escape it.
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