[Fic] Falling Up
Title: Falling Up
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Jongin/Kyungsoo
Length: 2k
Disclaimer: I do not own the boys.
Author's Note: This fic was written in collaboration with midnighttofu @ tumblr to go along with this gorgeous picture she drew and I am honored to have been a part of it.
Summary: The first time he falls is from Heaven. The second time is much worse.
It isn't supposed to be this way. He didn't mean to fall in love with plush lips and expressive eyes. He didn't mean to get taken in by a soft voice and comforted by warm arms. But it's too late now; he's in too deep to crawl his way out, drowning in a forbidden love that will catch up with him. Jongin presses his hand to the glass, the cool temperature sending a shiver down his arm as he stares at the man on the other side.
As if sensing he's being watched, Kyungsoo lifts his face and spies Jongin, giving him an award winning smile and a small wave. Jongin returns them both before leaning his back against the window to wait. Always waiting.
Kyungsoo greets him with a kiss and Jongin holds him just a little closer, keeps the contact between them just a little longer and if the other man notices, he doesn't say anything. Their hands clasp, fingers slipping through empty spaces for a perfect hold. They were meant to be together. And it even sounds bitter in Jongin's mind because he knows what's coming.
The studio apartment Kyungsoo lives in is far too small and is cluttered with stacks of books, piles of clothing and dishes a day old because Jongin distracted him with promises of cuddling in front of the television the night before. His eyes rake over the scene as if memorizing the placement of each item and how Kyungsoo looks so bright, so happy even if this isn't his dream. In his centuries of being, living on this world after being cast out of God's grace, this is the only place that's ever felt like home.
"Something's bothering you," Kyungsoo states, propped against the counter with his arms crossed. "It's written on your face."
Jongin trembles where he stands, mind screaming for him to act and heart pleading with him to stop. "I can't see you anymore." The words spill from his lips like poison, stinging his tongue and burning his throat.
"Why?" It's a simple whisper and it tears through Jongin more powerfully than if Kyungsoo had yelled at him.
Tugging on the bottom of his shirt, Jongin rocks on his heels and exhales long and slow. "I'm not who you think I am. I should never have gone up to you that day. I'm sorry."
"If you're not Jongin, who are you?" Unshed tears glimmer in his eyes and every fiber of Jongin's being wants to rush to him, hold him and make everything better. But he can't, so he merely shrugs off his jacket and tugs his shirt off over his head.
It's been a long time since he's let loose his wings, the extensions of his shoulderblades unfurling and stretching until the pitch colored feathers extend to their fullest. It feels like Heaven and Hell all at once, a reminder of who he was then and of who he can't be now.
Kyungsoo slowly walks forward, eyes wide and inquisitive before his hand reaches out and fingertips trail down the feathers on one side. It sends a spike through Jongin and his breath hitches. "Are you an angel?"
Jongin's heart breaks. "I was once."
"Is this why we can't be together?"
"It's forbidden." Jongin's voice cracks as Kyungsoo cups his face. "I love you. I love you so much and they're going to come for me because of it."
"Do I not get a say? Can't I speak to them? Tell them how much-"
"No." The finality in Jongin's voice jars them both. "It's law and I've broken it."
"But I don't want you to leave me." Tears track down Kyungsoo's beautiful face and it gnaws at Jongin's heart. He would give anything to stay.
"I'm sorry." Jongin leans down and presses a kiss onto salty lips. "I'm so sorry." And another, Kyungsoo dragging him in once more. Each connection of their mouths is punctuated with a desperate apology until Kyungsoo is arched into him and Jongin's wings curl around their bodies to hold them together.
"Just tonight. Let me keep you."
It's a request he should refuse, but he can't. Another urgent kiss and his fate is surely sealed as tongues slip into open mouths and Kyungsoo drags him toward the small bed by the belt loops on his jeans. Jongin's shoes are kicked off and pants are tugged down along the way. The other man's slacks and sneakers lay discarded by the mattress before they're falling, the pale blue of Kyungsoo's work shirt too pretty against his flushed skin to bother removing. It reminds Jongin of a spring day, of flowers and sunshine and everything Kyungsoo.
They've never done this before, crossed this line in their relationship because of Jongin's fear, but there's nothing to hold him back now. The way Kyungsoo clutches him closer, melding skin into skin is needy and addictive and Jongin rocks against him as he allows instinct to take over. Arms wrap around his neck, fingers tangle in his hair and he cups Kyungsoo's face with one hand and holds his head steady with the other to properly look at him. He's flushed and still teary and his hair is a mess, but he's never appeared more perfect. Jongin burns the image into his heart, trapping it in his chest where no one can take it away.
Milky legs draw up to settle against his sides and pull him from his reverie. "Jongin," Kyungsoo whispers before their lips crash together again. "I need you. All of you."
Jongin is already going to pay the highest price for his love so he's going to make it count, going to enjoy all the time he has left, which means obeying Kyungsoo's every whim. Kyungsoo puts up a valiant effort of not detaching from Jongin as he stretches an arm over the bed to the small nightstand to rummage inside the drawer. They nearly topple to the side, smiling through kisses before the balance is regained and Kyungsoo slips a bottle into his hand.
Using borrowed patience, Jongin takes his time to work Kyungsoo into a proper mess, writhing in the rumpled sheets while begging for him to go faster. Jongin merely slides another finger inside and drags Kyungsoo's shirt up with the other so he can wrap his lips around a nipple. The fabric bunches under his arms and his chest is covered in splotches of red already. He admires the rise and fall of Kyungsoo's chest, the sheen of sweat on his skin and the way his neck curves when his head dips back into the mattress because Jongin's found that one spot to drive him to the edge.
Thighs clench around him tighter and Jongin retreats long enough to slick himself up along with Kyungsoo's help before pushing in. A throaty moan fills the air, Kyungsoo's nails embedding in his back to pull him in that much further. The feeling of being inside his lover is more intoxicating than he ever thought possible and he's panting for air by the time they're fully connected. Kyungsoo is breathing out his name coupled with 'move' and 'please' and small whimpers. It's enough for him to roll his hips, slowly begin a soft rhythm that Kyungsoo takes to with eagerness.
There's no real hurry yet there's still an urgency behind the languid motion of his hips. Jongin wants to draw this out, savor every moment of Kyungsoo falling apart beneath him with every motion forward, but his body is screaming for speed and friction and satisfaction. Kyungsoo's fingers latch onto the base of his wings, using them as leverage to lift his hips into each thrust and Jongin moans deep and low and the speed picks up.
Kyungsoo cries out, back bowing off the bed and Jongin holds him up by his thighs, gliding in and out with ease as the other man's grip tightens. Shifting their weight, Jongin reaches between their bodies to wrap fingers around Kyungsoo's length, to stroke him in time with their thrusting. This is the moment he's waited centuries for, to be loved and accepted, to give himself completely. And then it crashes, Kyungsoo crying out one last time before he finishes, Jongin not long after. His hips rock through it all, still moving after the pulses of their climaxes have faded because he's loathe to disconnect.
Kyungsoo looks up at him with clear eyes, running a hand over his cheekbone before trailing across his bottom lip. "I love you, Jongin."
The small room is filling with light and the sheets are warm, but Jongin is pulled from his slumber by the swooping in his stomach. They're here. Kyungsoo is sleeping peacefully, arms and legs wrapped around Jongin and it's torture removing himself from the hold. Jongin wills himself to breathe, to dress quietly and leave one last kiss on Kyungsoo's temple before opening the door and stepping out.
The trio is standing just outside, awaiting his arrival. Suho looks at him with pity, eyeing the state of his former friend. "I'm sorry, Jongin. You know the rules."
The two guards with him are unnecessary, yet they step forward anyway. Jongin merely presents his wrists willingly, allowing Chanyeol to shackle them together before his wings are bound in chains to his back. It's stifling and uncomfortable, metal chafing against skin, but he supposes it's not really supposed to be a walk in the park.
The only thing he leaves behind of himself are a few black feathers folded into wrinkled sheets.
The pain is unbearable, head falling as far as the chain around his neck will allow as another sharp stab radiates from his back where his wings are being cut off. As if being condemned to death for tainting one of God's precious humans isn't enough, the pain to come first is a reminder, a penitence for transgressions. He only hopes it ends soon.
Jongin finally cries out, the sickening thud of his left wing hitting the stone floor and there's an emptiness clawing at his soul. His limbs tense in the restraints, wrists and ankles bound so he can't fight. Not that he would. This is what he deserves.
Tears fall down his face, images of Kyungsoo running through his mind as his right wing is now slowly ripped from his frame. It stings and burns and the pain flashes through an already weakened body until he slumps, dead weight as the collar cuts into the skin of his neck. A final rip and the deed is done, bloody trails running freely down his back where he will be left to bleed out until he dies. His vision is blurred and he can't lift his head when someone approaches.
Suho bends down, taking Jongin's chin in his hand and bringing his head up. "Was he worth it?"
"Every moment." Silence falls as Suho gazes at him without letting go. Black threatens the edges of his vision and he can't keep his eyes open any longer.
"Because we were friends once," is the last thing he hears before it all disappears.
The rain is little more than a nuisance, pitter-pattering against the sidewalk as Jongin stands with his hands shoved in his pockets and shoulders hunched. It's the cold that's seeping in, curling around flesh and bone alike and he shivers uncomfortably in his skin. His shoe scuffs the wet cement and he gazes down in wonder because he doesn't remember this. He doesn't remember anything.
"Jongin?"
Warm. The voice is warm and he flicks his eyes to the source, taking in the form of a small man standing in the rain with him. There's something so familiar, so right about the curl of his wet hair and the pink in his cheeks and Jongin takes a tentative step forward as his heart races beneath his ribs. "Do you know me?"
The man smiles, a vision too beautiful to be real and Jongin feels unsteady as a hand reaches out for him. Their palms clasp together and suddenly nothing else matters. His mind may not remember, but his heart does and that's enough.
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Jongin/Kyungsoo
Length: 2k
Disclaimer: I do not own the boys.
Author's Note: This fic was written in collaboration with midnighttofu @ tumblr to go along with this gorgeous picture she drew and I am honored to have been a part of it.
Summary: The first time he falls is from Heaven. The second time is much worse.
It isn't supposed to be this way. He didn't mean to fall in love with plush lips and expressive eyes. He didn't mean to get taken in by a soft voice and comforted by warm arms. But it's too late now; he's in too deep to crawl his way out, drowning in a forbidden love that will catch up with him. Jongin presses his hand to the glass, the cool temperature sending a shiver down his arm as he stares at the man on the other side.
As if sensing he's being watched, Kyungsoo lifts his face and spies Jongin, giving him an award winning smile and a small wave. Jongin returns them both before leaning his back against the window to wait. Always waiting.
Kyungsoo greets him with a kiss and Jongin holds him just a little closer, keeps the contact between them just a little longer and if the other man notices, he doesn't say anything. Their hands clasp, fingers slipping through empty spaces for a perfect hold. They were meant to be together. And it even sounds bitter in Jongin's mind because he knows what's coming.
The studio apartment Kyungsoo lives in is far too small and is cluttered with stacks of books, piles of clothing and dishes a day old because Jongin distracted him with promises of cuddling in front of the television the night before. His eyes rake over the scene as if memorizing the placement of each item and how Kyungsoo looks so bright, so happy even if this isn't his dream. In his centuries of being, living on this world after being cast out of God's grace, this is the only place that's ever felt like home.
"Something's bothering you," Kyungsoo states, propped against the counter with his arms crossed. "It's written on your face."
Jongin trembles where he stands, mind screaming for him to act and heart pleading with him to stop. "I can't see you anymore." The words spill from his lips like poison, stinging his tongue and burning his throat.
"Why?" It's a simple whisper and it tears through Jongin more powerfully than if Kyungsoo had yelled at him.
Tugging on the bottom of his shirt, Jongin rocks on his heels and exhales long and slow. "I'm not who you think I am. I should never have gone up to you that day. I'm sorry."
"If you're not Jongin, who are you?" Unshed tears glimmer in his eyes and every fiber of Jongin's being wants to rush to him, hold him and make everything better. But he can't, so he merely shrugs off his jacket and tugs his shirt off over his head.
It's been a long time since he's let loose his wings, the extensions of his shoulderblades unfurling and stretching until the pitch colored feathers extend to their fullest. It feels like Heaven and Hell all at once, a reminder of who he was then and of who he can't be now.
Kyungsoo slowly walks forward, eyes wide and inquisitive before his hand reaches out and fingertips trail down the feathers on one side. It sends a spike through Jongin and his breath hitches. "Are you an angel?"
Jongin's heart breaks. "I was once."
"Is this why we can't be together?"
"It's forbidden." Jongin's voice cracks as Kyungsoo cups his face. "I love you. I love you so much and they're going to come for me because of it."
"Do I not get a say? Can't I speak to them? Tell them how much-"
"No." The finality in Jongin's voice jars them both. "It's law and I've broken it."
"But I don't want you to leave me." Tears track down Kyungsoo's beautiful face and it gnaws at Jongin's heart. He would give anything to stay.
"I'm sorry." Jongin leans down and presses a kiss onto salty lips. "I'm so sorry." And another, Kyungsoo dragging him in once more. Each connection of their mouths is punctuated with a desperate apology until Kyungsoo is arched into him and Jongin's wings curl around their bodies to hold them together.
"Just tonight. Let me keep you."
It's a request he should refuse, but he can't. Another urgent kiss and his fate is surely sealed as tongues slip into open mouths and Kyungsoo drags him toward the small bed by the belt loops on his jeans. Jongin's shoes are kicked off and pants are tugged down along the way. The other man's slacks and sneakers lay discarded by the mattress before they're falling, the pale blue of Kyungsoo's work shirt too pretty against his flushed skin to bother removing. It reminds Jongin of a spring day, of flowers and sunshine and everything Kyungsoo.
They've never done this before, crossed this line in their relationship because of Jongin's fear, but there's nothing to hold him back now. The way Kyungsoo clutches him closer, melding skin into skin is needy and addictive and Jongin rocks against him as he allows instinct to take over. Arms wrap around his neck, fingers tangle in his hair and he cups Kyungsoo's face with one hand and holds his head steady with the other to properly look at him. He's flushed and still teary and his hair is a mess, but he's never appeared more perfect. Jongin burns the image into his heart, trapping it in his chest where no one can take it away.
Milky legs draw up to settle against his sides and pull him from his reverie. "Jongin," Kyungsoo whispers before their lips crash together again. "I need you. All of you."
Jongin is already going to pay the highest price for his love so he's going to make it count, going to enjoy all the time he has left, which means obeying Kyungsoo's every whim. Kyungsoo puts up a valiant effort of not detaching from Jongin as he stretches an arm over the bed to the small nightstand to rummage inside the drawer. They nearly topple to the side, smiling through kisses before the balance is regained and Kyungsoo slips a bottle into his hand.
Using borrowed patience, Jongin takes his time to work Kyungsoo into a proper mess, writhing in the rumpled sheets while begging for him to go faster. Jongin merely slides another finger inside and drags Kyungsoo's shirt up with the other so he can wrap his lips around a nipple. The fabric bunches under his arms and his chest is covered in splotches of red already. He admires the rise and fall of Kyungsoo's chest, the sheen of sweat on his skin and the way his neck curves when his head dips back into the mattress because Jongin's found that one spot to drive him to the edge.
Thighs clench around him tighter and Jongin retreats long enough to slick himself up along with Kyungsoo's help before pushing in. A throaty moan fills the air, Kyungsoo's nails embedding in his back to pull him in that much further. The feeling of being inside his lover is more intoxicating than he ever thought possible and he's panting for air by the time they're fully connected. Kyungsoo is breathing out his name coupled with 'move' and 'please' and small whimpers. It's enough for him to roll his hips, slowly begin a soft rhythm that Kyungsoo takes to with eagerness.
There's no real hurry yet there's still an urgency behind the languid motion of his hips. Jongin wants to draw this out, savor every moment of Kyungsoo falling apart beneath him with every motion forward, but his body is screaming for speed and friction and satisfaction. Kyungsoo's fingers latch onto the base of his wings, using them as leverage to lift his hips into each thrust and Jongin moans deep and low and the speed picks up.
Kyungsoo cries out, back bowing off the bed and Jongin holds him up by his thighs, gliding in and out with ease as the other man's grip tightens. Shifting their weight, Jongin reaches between their bodies to wrap fingers around Kyungsoo's length, to stroke him in time with their thrusting. This is the moment he's waited centuries for, to be loved and accepted, to give himself completely. And then it crashes, Kyungsoo crying out one last time before he finishes, Jongin not long after. His hips rock through it all, still moving after the pulses of their climaxes have faded because he's loathe to disconnect.
Kyungsoo looks up at him with clear eyes, running a hand over his cheekbone before trailing across his bottom lip. "I love you, Jongin."
The small room is filling with light and the sheets are warm, but Jongin is pulled from his slumber by the swooping in his stomach. They're here. Kyungsoo is sleeping peacefully, arms and legs wrapped around Jongin and it's torture removing himself from the hold. Jongin wills himself to breathe, to dress quietly and leave one last kiss on Kyungsoo's temple before opening the door and stepping out.
The trio is standing just outside, awaiting his arrival. Suho looks at him with pity, eyeing the state of his former friend. "I'm sorry, Jongin. You know the rules."
The two guards with him are unnecessary, yet they step forward anyway. Jongin merely presents his wrists willingly, allowing Chanyeol to shackle them together before his wings are bound in chains to his back. It's stifling and uncomfortable, metal chafing against skin, but he supposes it's not really supposed to be a walk in the park.
The only thing he leaves behind of himself are a few black feathers folded into wrinkled sheets.
The pain is unbearable, head falling as far as the chain around his neck will allow as another sharp stab radiates from his back where his wings are being cut off. As if being condemned to death for tainting one of God's precious humans isn't enough, the pain to come first is a reminder, a penitence for transgressions. He only hopes it ends soon.
Jongin finally cries out, the sickening thud of his left wing hitting the stone floor and there's an emptiness clawing at his soul. His limbs tense in the restraints, wrists and ankles bound so he can't fight. Not that he would. This is what he deserves.
Tears fall down his face, images of Kyungsoo running through his mind as his right wing is now slowly ripped from his frame. It stings and burns and the pain flashes through an already weakened body until he slumps, dead weight as the collar cuts into the skin of his neck. A final rip and the deed is done, bloody trails running freely down his back where he will be left to bleed out until he dies. His vision is blurred and he can't lift his head when someone approaches.
Suho bends down, taking Jongin's chin in his hand and bringing his head up. "Was he worth it?"
"Every moment." Silence falls as Suho gazes at him without letting go. Black threatens the edges of his vision and he can't keep his eyes open any longer.
"Because we were friends once," is the last thing he hears before it all disappears.
The rain is little more than a nuisance, pitter-pattering against the sidewalk as Jongin stands with his hands shoved in his pockets and shoulders hunched. It's the cold that's seeping in, curling around flesh and bone alike and he shivers uncomfortably in his skin. His shoe scuffs the wet cement and he gazes down in wonder because he doesn't remember this. He doesn't remember anything.
"Jongin?"
Warm. The voice is warm and he flicks his eyes to the source, taking in the form of a small man standing in the rain with him. There's something so familiar, so right about the curl of his wet hair and the pink in his cheeks and Jongin takes a tentative step forward as his heart races beneath his ribs. "Do you know me?"
The man smiles, a vision too beautiful to be real and Jongin feels unsteady as a hand reaches out for him. Their palms clasp together and suddenly nothing else matters. His mind may not remember, but his heart does and that's enough.