[Fic] Let Me Catch You (As We Fall)
Title: Let Me Catch You (As We Fall)
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Kris/Sehun
Length: 5500w
Disclaimer: I do not own the boys.
Summary: Sehun has a crush and he can't talk himself out of it
It didn't take long after puberty hit for Sehun to come to the conclusion that he's completely gay. With a best friend like Jongin - built to perfection by some god who wants to torment every man and woman who comes across him - it became obvious he was pulled more toward sharp lines and defined muscles instead of soft curves and smooth skin. It didn't hurt that the idea of a dick was far more enticing than a vagina either. And even if Jongin is the personification of everything he would want in a boyfriend physically (if he ever admits to anyone that he craves it so much) he's not attracted to his friend in that way. It's a small saving grace he's thankful for when Jongin opens his mouth and something insanely stupid comes out, which happens a lot. He doesn't tell anyone though, tucking that part of himself neatly away because it's not something you announce to a group of teenage boys all fighting to be famous. One wrong move and you're ruined.
So it simmers in the background, like an ache he can never stretch through as he grows, careful to keep his eyes trained straight ahead on the studio mirror as they practice and never let his gaze wander too far south when they're stuck showering together. Usually he's fortunate enough to end up bathing with Jongin anyway and that eases the pressure some. He truly believes he has a handle on covering it up when he packs his clothes to move into a new dorm with a new group of people and knowing that Jongin is coming too has a welcome calming effect. And suddenly he's too busy for worry to slip through; dance practices, recording sessions and costume fittings keeping him on the constant verge of falling asleep on his feet. Hormones be damned because he doesn't even have time to jerk off in the shower anymore, nor does he have the energy to get aroused so the problem ultimately takes care of itself.
For a while.
After their debut and the initial rush of being herded everywhere, things slow down enough for his body to catch up with his mind and the knowledge that he's surrounded by eleven attractive men at all times sits like a lump of ice in the pit of his stomach. He's just waiting for his body to betray him, scream out to the entire group that he wouldn't mind seeing them all naked and ass up. (Yes, sometimes even Jongin because he does this hip thrust that should be declared illegal.)
At first it causes him to stick to Jongin more often than not because he knows Jongin well enough to be comfortable and not fear the prospect of falling for him. There's always been this nagging in his mind that he was going to end up with a crush on Luhan because they spent so much time together and he's so focused on not developing feelings for Luhan that he doesn't even notice the fuzziness in his brain and flip in his stomach until far too late. His crush on Wufan hits him like a ton of bricks and all he wants to do is slip under a bed and hide when it dawns on him because they're all sweating from dance practice and Wufan's raising his shirt and suddenly Sehun's popping a boner.
Sehun knows he's screwed when he gets off to the flash of exposed skin in the bathroom ten minutes later, legs wobbling and sudden guilt forcing his throat to close. He can't even look at Wufan the rest of the day and he only hopes he can discover some terrible habit or mannerism of the leader's that will turn him completely off.
It doesn't happen.
Having the one off wetdream about Kyungsoo's mouth wrapped around his dick or Tao fucking him into a wall is completely different from continuously seeing Wufan manhandling him every time he falls asleep. The latest one features the tall leader and his wonderfully large hands wrapped around his erection, tugging almost too rough as Sehun begs for more. He wakes up before it finishes, leaving him with a painful tent under the blanket and his hips unconsciously grinding into the air. With a light groan of frustration, he slips his hand down to finish himself off quickly before wiping the mess away with his discarded boxers so he can go back to sleep and hopefully dream of something unrelated to dark eyes and chiseled facial features.
They're all exhausted, on their last dregs of energy as they wait semi-patiently for the vans to pull up so they can get out of the studio and into bed. The sun set hours ago and the grumbling in Sehun's stomach is pushed aside in favor of taking a moment for himself and propping his head on Wufan's shoulder. It's not like the other man seems to mind much, hunching down just a little lower so it's a better fit as they slump against the wall. His legs feel like jelly and he's not sure if it's because of the hours of dance practice or the effect of Wufan's warm body next to his own.
Tao shuffles over to them, refusing to pick his feet up off the floor as he goes, and leans his head on Wufan's other shoulder. It doesn't make Sehun jealous. The tightness in his stomach is from hunger pains.
"Can I shower first when we get back?" Tao inquires, using his small puppy voice and it takes all Sehun has to not roll his eyes. Puhlease.
"Of course," Wufan indulges, throwing the youngest of his unit a small smile and the scowl on Sehun's face deepens. This isn't how things are supposed to go. He's not supposed to care about the interactions of the others with Wufan. He's not supposed to want to drag the older man off for himself and keep him quarantined from certain dark-haired feline types. Like Tao. And Chen who's now throwing a smirk over his shoulder at his leader and Sehun stifles the growl in his throat, playing it off as a cough.
"You ok?" Wufan asks and Sehun merely nods because he doesn't trust his tongue and his face is red.
"Aww, is Sehunnie sick?" Jongin asks, a teasing smile on his face and Sehun most definitely hates him.
"Shut up," he grumbles, pushing half-heartedly at Jongin's chest when he gets too close.
"Does our baby need a nap?" And Jongin pinches his cheeks.
"Fuck you."
There's an elbow in his ribs suddenly and Sehun wheezes, shooting him a glare because Jongin is such an asshole. Retaliating in his usual manner, he punches his friend in the arm, sending him a glare as Jongin winces in mock pain.
"Would you two stop," Wufan interrupts and Sehun feels guilty for the exasperation laced in his voice. If Jongin notices how easily Sehun gives up the fight, he doesn't say anything.
While Luhan is someone he likes being around, when he spends a lot of time over in the older man's dorm, it's because he enjoys seeing Wufan walking around with his make-up free face, hair pulled up into a messy ponytail and pajama pants hanging low on his hips as he lets the hardass demeanor of being a leader slip away. He thinks maybe he's being too obvious about it sometimes, his eyes trailing after Wufan as he moves through the room, but it's those moments where he doesn't care.
Sehun watches the way his pants slide as he moves, shifting along the curves of his ass and clinging to his thighs. His brain promptly drops into overdrive when arms lift enough for him to see the small trail of hair that leads straight down to a place Sehun wouldn't mind diving headfirst. Biting his lip, he's unaware of Luhan's incessant babbling because there are vivid images of things he wants to do with Wufan rushing through his mind. He's in the midst of a rather heated scenario involving Wufan's tongue and a pair of fur-lined handcuffs when Luhan's hands squeeze his face.
"You in there?"
"Yeah, sorry," Sehun mumbles, dragging his eyes off Wufan and resettling them on Luhan. "Just tired."
Luhan seems to take it at face value and Sehun is forever grateful because telling his friend he's a little preoccupied imagining Wufan's dick in his mouth isn't how he envisions coming out.
Sehun is content to keep it to himself, let this crush burn through until it fades out and he can find someone else that's a little less intimidating to fixate on. Only it's hard to do when Wufan runs a hand down his arm as he reaches around to grab his jacket or ends up pressed against his back as they shuffle out the door to the vans.
Sometimes he thinks he signed away his sanity because no one in their right mind would enjoy the sweet torture of looking without being able to have.
Sehun's the last one to make it into the living room, all chairs and couches occupied by the other members already. Carefully maneuvering through the web of legs and feet in his path, he makes his way slowly toward Jongin because he's the only person he can plop his butt on without repercussion. But it's not Jongin who he ends up on. A pair of large hand suddenly grab his hips and pull him down onto an unfamiliar lap. With a girlish squeak of surprise, Sehun cranes his head around to see Wufan behind him and a trickle of heat winds down his throat and settles in his stomach. This can't be good.
The hands are gone and this is his chance to escape, pick his ass up off the very warm lap of the man he's been dreaming about for weeks, but there's also that self indulgent part of him that fights to stay. It inevitably wins and Sehun gives up.
The room goes dark and the movie starts playing on the screen. Conversations fall silent as they take the time to relax into the comfort of just being. It's too rare when they get a chance to do nothing, time away from the spotlights and dance practices and fans circling with cameras. And yet they all still manage to stay together, no one sneaking off for time alone because they're so accustomed to being a single unit that it feels weird without the presence of someone else. It's too ingrained, too embedded in their skin now.
It takes a little while, but Sehun eventually relaxes into Wufan, even going so far as to lean back against his chest. He steadfastly ignores the puffs of warm air against the skin of his shoulder where his shirt's slid down and focuses on the moving mouths of the actors because that's safe.
Having a boney ass means that it loses feeling quickly, prompting a shift so blood flow returns to the small amount of padding he does have down there. Sehun doesn't think anything of it when he wriggles his butt, trying to get feeling back in his cheeks. Large hands suddenly grip his sides, fingertips digging into his cloth covered waist just so and Sehun stops breathing because the heat runs straight up his skin while the effect is almost immediately felt between his legs. That's when he feels it, Wufan's dick digging in to his ass and it's hard. Oh fuck.
Breathe, Sehun. Breathe.
Ever so nonchalantly, he slides off of Wufan's lap in favor of the floor. He's still close to the man, sitting between his now spread legs and suddenly ideas flood in again because they're so close and Wufan's hard and now Sehun is too. It's only too easy to imagine what could happen if the others weren't there and it gets harder to breathe again.
It certainly doesn't help when he feels Wufan's fingers digging into the back of his neck, probably as an apology as he starts massaging the rigidity out of his muscles. His body goes haywire, wanting to lean in to the touch like a kitten and simultaneously pull away because it's too much stimulation. Sehun settles for letting his head droop in an effort to simply enjoy the contact because it's not often he's privileged enough to have Wufan's hands on him.
Ok, so maybe he's too into it because a low moan rumbles through his chest. The hand on his neck stills for a moment and it's enough to let Sehun know that Wufan heard that. Fuckfuckfuck. Wufan heard that. He really needs to get away, but one small move forward and the fingers tighten on his neck, holding him in place. A whimper escapes his lips and he stills, leaning back into his previous position.
They're not even together and Sehun's whipped. Fabulous.
Avoiding Wufan is a terribly easy thing to do when they're not in the same country. Small blessings and all that because Sehun isn't sure he can look at the other man without reliving the horror of movie night. Wufan's body had a natural reaction to pressure on his dick, but Sehun was more obvious. He wants to die - mummify himself in his sheets and let his remains fade into dust before he has to face him again. The mortification is enough to stop his fantasies for a while, but not permanently.
Not when there are videos online of M's current performance.
For all Wufan's coolness factor he's really an embarrassing ball of awkward when it comes down to it. Sehun buries his face in his hands when he sees Wufan strutting across the stage only to be followed by incredibly bad dancing. It's so terrible and it drives him crazy because he likes it. Absolutely nothing about the way his stiff body attempts to work around the steps is attractive. Nothing.
Nothing about Wufan is attractive.
Except his mouth. And possibly his collarbones. Also his hands, far too big for his body but so enticing with all the things they can do. Let's not get started on the expanse of his torso or his incredibly long legs either.
Sehun is so screwed.
The entire point of a cold shower is to reduce the throbbing between his legs, but Sehun seems to have forgotten. One hand works over his cock, taking in shallow breaths as two fingers work in and out of his ass quickly. His eyes roll back in his head, shutting as images of Wufan taking over invade. Everything heightens and his body tenses as he fantasizes about the older man's hard length thrusting in and out of his ass, one hand pulling his hair and the other wrapped around his cock.
Sehun's never come so hard in his life.
What startles Sehun the most is his ability to look Wufan in the eye when the two groups finally meld back into one. Shame is what he should be feeling, guilt over using the image of the leader as masturbation material for days, but he doesn't. He feels oddly at peace with himself and that's either terrifying or a new low he didn't think he could sink to.
They're huddled in the lobby of a hotel, managers and members trying to straighten out who is going to room where. Sehun isn't terribly worried because he always shares with Luhan and it's not like things are about to change.
"It's you and me. Come on," Wufan says casually, wrapping a hand around Sehun's wrist to pull him toward the elevator.
"What?"
Now is the time to panic.
"Tao wants to room with Luhan so we're together."
Sehun tries to pull his arm away, but Wufan's too strong. "I want to room with Jongin," he declares suddenly, pulling up the most comfortable person he can.
Wufan leans in, tapping two fingers underneath the boy's chin as he smiles. "It's cute you think you have a choice."
Sehun allows himself to be dragged across the linoleum and into the elevator mainly out of shock. His heart is thrumming, his chin is still tingling from the feel of Wufan's fingers and he's pretty sure his face is an unattractive shade of red.
An entire evening locked in a room with the man that makes his body melt into a puddle of desire. Nothing can possibly go wrong.
Ten seconds and that theory is proven incorrect.
Ten seconds after their door is shut and Sehun's back is against the wall.
Ten seconds and Wufan is leaning in, hands bracketing Sehun's head as he stares into his eyes.
Ten seconds is how long it takes for Sehun to regret ever laying eyes on the tall chinese man because he's fairly sure he's about to be dismembered.
Ten seconds and the curtain falls.
"Tell me I'm not the only one that wants this." Wufan's voice is deep, gravelly and it tugs at Sehun's stomach. His chest aches, heart pounding way too fast beneath his ribs and blood rushing in his ears. This is it. This is where Sehun either lets go or takes the dive.
Well, when opportunity knocks -
Sehun fists his hand in Wufan's shirt and drags him in for a kiss. Their lips nearly miss and Wufan readjusts before going in for a second, better try. This time they press together perfectly and Sehun's head feels lighter than air. Everything crashes down, the weight of his burden and the knowledge he doesn't have to do it alone pulling him into a state of elation.
Wufan wants him too.
Wufan goes to pull away and Sehun moves with him, not allowing any distance between their lips. "Sehun," the older man warns, but he's not listening, choosing to dart his tongue inside Wufan's mouth instead. The moan he hears coming from Wufan is enough encouragement for Sehun to tighten his hold. And now he's the one backing Wufan up, knees catching on the edge of the bed before he falls onto his butt. Sehun follows, settling his ass on Wufan's thighs to get comfortable because he isn't planning on letting go for a while.
He feels the pads of Wufan's fingers trailing up his neck, across his cheeks and he whimpers when they fist in his hair and tug his head back. The kiss is broken and Sehun is panting, lust taking hold because Wufan is pulling his hair. It makes Sehun squirm, desperate for more contact.
"Hold still," Wufan growls and he does so immediately. And Sehun thinks he looks so fuckable right now with his pink lips parted and his cheeks flushed. "Calm down."
"Why?" A lifetime of sexual frustration is sitting thick and heavy between his legs, and the heat of Wufan's body is only enticing him more. The last thing he wants is to let this go.
"I don't want you to get the wrong idea." Wufan licks his lips and Sehun watches his tongue with eager eyes. "This isn't just physical for me."
Queue the skipping heartbeat and the flipping in his stomach. "Me either," he forces out.
"So maybe we should take it slow."
Nope.
"But I need you," Sehun begs, grinding his hips down to show Wufan just how serious he is. "I don't want to have to get myself off thinking about you anymore," he confesses and it drags a moan out of the older man. "I look at you and imagine how amazing you would feel between my legs, how much I want to suck you off before you fuck me."
"Fuck, Sehun."
And the battle is won. Sehun finds himself on his back, pressed into the hard hotel mattress as Wufan rolls their hips together.
Sehun knows he's being impatient, needy even as his fingers catch on the seam of Wufan's shirt before pulling it over his head. There should probably be some decorum for all this seeing as it's his first time with Wufan and his first time with someone other than himself, but he's so riled up and Wufan is only making it worse. Lips attach to his neck and he whimpers, wishing Wufan could bite down, mark him as his own, but he's too responsible to do something that reckless. Sadly.
There's not nearly enough skin to skin contact, so Sehun decides to remedy the issue by tugging his own shirt off before fumbling with the button on his jeans.
"Let me," Wufan breathes and his fingers take over, easily sliding the denim down Sehun's thighs before tugging them off with his shoes until they hit the floor. And then his hand is brushing over the erection still trapped in his boxers and he whines, hips bucking into the air because his body is screaming for more. Wufan smiles, this grin that looks more evil than anything and the lust coils ever so much tighter as his boxers hit the floor soon after.
Sehun may have fantasized about how Wufan's hand would feel on his dick, but it's nothing compared to the real thing. The rough catch of dry skin against his cock is startling and the bottom of his stomach drops as his toes curl. The drag is edging on too much until a way-too-steady-to-have-never-given-someone-a-handjob-before palm circles his leaking tip and uses the moisture for a smoother glide. He means to make a mental note to ask about it later, but it's lost between the sweet pressure around the base of his cock and the tongue flitting back into his mouth.
He's not going to last very long if Wufan keeps this up and Sehun reaches between them to grab the other man's dick through his jeans. The long moan he entices out of Wufan is enough to make an attempt at taking off the other man's pants until everything stops and he pulls out of his reach.
"Come here," Wufan orders, standing beside the bed and Sehun doesn't think twice about obeying. Hands rest on his shoulders and push him to his knees and his mouth suddenly waters at what he knows comes next.
Sehun's never given a blowjob before, but he's seen enough porn and when Wufan's pants pool around his ankles, the cock standing in front of his face is just asking for it. Gripping the base, he looks up at Wufan for a moment before licking across the tip. It doesn't taste great, but it's not terrible. Sehun slips Wufan's cock through his lips and it's heavy on his tongue, the skin foreign but not unwelcome. Especially when Wufan makes that noise that almost sounds like a growl.
He tentatively bobs his head, taking in as much as he can before it hits the back of his throat.
"Wait," Wufan breathes out, pushing Sehun away. "Don't move."
And Sehun doesn't.
He watches as Wufan walks across to their bags, kicking his pants and shoes off as he goes, and pulls a bottle out of a side pocket. Oh. The sudden realization of where this is headed makes his stomach flip, partially out of fear but mostly out of excitement. Wufan hands the lube to Sehun who looks up at him questioningly.
"Stretch yourself open for me." And Wufan's voice is soft, sending a rush of heat through his body.
With the click of the cap, he pours the gel across his fingers before setting it on the bed. This is familiar, this is something he's done many times before and it puts him back in a comfortable place and he's proud that his hand doesn't shake too much when he reaches down between his legs. Sehun can't help the low moan that comes out when he pushes the first digit inside. He looks up at Wufan, mouth open and knees spreading further apart on the floor.
Sehun leans forward for a better angle, giving Wufan what he hopes is a sensual stare (and not his chronic stoicism) before taking his cock back in his mouth. It's a little difficult figuring things out, finally getting things right when he bobs his head to the rhythm of his finger still working in his ass.
"Goody boy," Wufan whispers, a hand cupping Sehun's cheek before trailing to his jaw and caressing gently. Sehun whimpers, wanting to be the best for Wufan. With a muffled noise that's blocked, Sehun slides another finger in, pumping faster and harder as he presses his tongue into the slit of Wufan's dick before taking him in and sucking around the head. Another finger and Sehun is finding it hard to keep up. His jaw is sore and there's too much saliva gathered at the corners of his mouth, some of it running down his chin.
The hand on his face moves to his hair, tangling in the still wet strands before it grips and Sehun looks up with wide eyes as the cock falls out of his mouth. With shaky legs and sore knees, he stands and lets the other man pull his fingers out of his prepped entrance.
"My boy," Wufan says before kissing him and Sehun moans, no hesitation in holding on to his new lover (boyfriend?) as he's guided to the bed. When they fall, Sehun lands on top and Wufan fishes the bottle of lube from under his leg and hands it to him. They resituate, Wufan still on his back and Sehun straddling him, chest still heaving and his eyes focused on the dick about to be inside him. Licking his lips several times, swiping over salty skin that's still a little swollen, he pours out enough lube to slick him up.
His legs are trembling and he's not sure if it's because of the high strung anticipation or the lust or the position he was in on the floor or the dread of this being his first time, but it's there and all roiling around in his stomach. Wufan sits up, tapping two fingers under his chin just like he did earlier. "Relax," he says, before pressing a kiss to his lips. "You're in control."
Surprisingly, that eases the near panic and Sehun nods as Wufan lays down again. Several steady breaths later and he's lifting onto his knees, one hand holding his cheeks apart and the other guiding Wufan's cock in between. The pressure is more than he's used to, but he keeps going until the head slides through. Mouth slack from the feeling of being stretched so open, filled more than he's ever been before, he begins a slow slide down until he's seated. It burns a little and it's more uncomfortable than anything, but there's also that pleasure behind it.
Wufan's fingers are digging into his thighs now and Sehun looks down to see him and it's a sight he wants to be the only one to ever witness. His pupils are blown and his lips are wet and his chest is flushed pink in unattractive splotches. But Sehun did this. Sehun is the one to work Wufan up to this point.
A minute later and Sehun rolls his hips, earning a groan from Wufan and bruises on his thighs that he hopes linger for days. The motion isn't painful and he does it again before bracing himself on the bed and lifting slowly. Wufan looks up at him, holds his eyes and gives Sehun a small nod of encouragement. Always the leader. The younger then lets gravity pull him back down, a rush of friction and gratification building from the action. He wants more.
This is far more satisfying than jerking off, picking up the pace until he's practically bouncing on Wufan's cock. Sehun knows he's moaning, knows he's loud, but he can't help it and the other man isn't helping as he brings his hips up with every downward thrust. "Wufan," Sehun whines, panting and sweating and rocking as fast as he can, as hard as he can.
And then his arms give out.
Sehun lands on Wufan's chest and moments later he's on his back, scratchy duvet rough against his skin. Wufan is over him, propped on an elbow and head hanging low with his mouth open and hips still snapping forward at the pace Sehun set. His entire body is buzzing, almost vibrating with his impending orgasm and Sehun doesn't think his cock has ever felt hotter as he takes it in hand. A few strokes is all it takes and he's crying out, spine bowing off the bed and muscles clenching as he comes over his hand and stomach.
A string of mandarin falls from Wufan's lips before Sehun feels the cock twitching in his ass followed by the warmth of his release. He groans, body slack and a grin plastered on his face. When Wufan leans in, he kisses each of Sehun's cheeks and the tip of his nose before planting one on his mouth. "Mine."
When Sehun wakes in the morning, he curses himself for having too active of an imagination until he tries to move. Then he promptly stops, flopping back onto the mattress with a load groan because it hurts. A hand presents itself in Sehun's face, holding two pills and he takes them graciously before accepting the accompanying glass of water. "Thank you," he grumbles, pulling the blankets back over his head.
"Nope," Wufan announces before ripping them away and the cold sends goosebumps down his naked body.
"Fuck you."
"If you behave."
And now Sehun is awake.
Now is the worst possible time for a heart to heart, people teeming around the dressing room attempting to peel sweat soaked clothing off and wipe away thick stage makeup. Jongin is over in the corner, wiping away at his face as he sits in front of a mirror. Sehun is still in his stage clothes, but he rushes over anyway. His stomach is twisted and there's this thread of guilt churning in his gut and he needs to spill. Fear gives him the courage to do what he needs and he only hopes this is the right thing to do.
When it was just him, just Sehun being gay and in his own little word daydreaming about having a boyfriend, everything was acceptable. But now there's another person, a very real and tall and handsome person who is now his and while he's elated, he's afraid. He's kept it bottle in for so long and he just can't hide it from the world completely. And if there's one person who deserves to know, it's his best friend.
He props his head on Jongin's shoulder, crouching down so their reflections are eyelevel. "We're best friends, right?" he asks through the din, voice low enough for no one else to hear. "No matter what?"
"Sehun, you could kill Joonmyun and I'd convince myself you did it for the betterment of humanity." There's a smile on Jongin's face and Sehun swallows over the lump of fear lodged in his windpipe.
"And if I told you I was gay?"
Jongin stops scrubbing at a particularly stubborn spot of makeup by his nose and merely gazes at Sehun through the mirror. "I'd assume Wufan's the reason for that subtle limp you've got there."
Sehun nearly chokes on his spit. "How did you -"
"I'm your best friend, idiot. Besides, he hasn't stopped smiling all day. I think you broke him."
"So it doesn't bother you?"
"Being gay isn't as serious an offense as murdering Joonmyun. However, if you want to get into his sweaters with a pair of scissors later, I'm right behind you."
Sehun laughs. It's loud and attention grabbing, but he doesn't care. He wraps his arms around his friend from behind and resists the urge to leave a sloppy kiss on his cheek. This is better than he'd hoped and eventually, maybe they can tell the rest of the members.
"You know you've given me a permanent get out of jail free card, right?"
Because Jongin is going to be insufferable.
Wufan kisses in threes every time they get a chance to meet away from prying eyes; pressing his mouth to Sehun's bottom lip, then his top and finally right in the middle. Sehun smiles between each one, his feet off the floor as Wufan holds him up. It's been over a week since they've seen each other and the burning in his stomach has been gnawing at him incessantly. But now it's fading, replaced with acceptance and Sehun knows he's in over his head.
Which is exactly where he wants to be.
---
A/N: We will not be dwelling on how much I hated the flow in this and instead be celebrating its finale! *throws confetti*
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Kris/Sehun
Length: 5500w
Disclaimer: I do not own the boys.
Summary: Sehun has a crush and he can't talk himself out of it
It didn't take long after puberty hit for Sehun to come to the conclusion that he's completely gay. With a best friend like Jongin - built to perfection by some god who wants to torment every man and woman who comes across him - it became obvious he was pulled more toward sharp lines and defined muscles instead of soft curves and smooth skin. It didn't hurt that the idea of a dick was far more enticing than a vagina either. And even if Jongin is the personification of everything he would want in a boyfriend physically (if he ever admits to anyone that he craves it so much) he's not attracted to his friend in that way. It's a small saving grace he's thankful for when Jongin opens his mouth and something insanely stupid comes out, which happens a lot. He doesn't tell anyone though, tucking that part of himself neatly away because it's not something you announce to a group of teenage boys all fighting to be famous. One wrong move and you're ruined.
So it simmers in the background, like an ache he can never stretch through as he grows, careful to keep his eyes trained straight ahead on the studio mirror as they practice and never let his gaze wander too far south when they're stuck showering together. Usually he's fortunate enough to end up bathing with Jongin anyway and that eases the pressure some. He truly believes he has a handle on covering it up when he packs his clothes to move into a new dorm with a new group of people and knowing that Jongin is coming too has a welcome calming effect. And suddenly he's too busy for worry to slip through; dance practices, recording sessions and costume fittings keeping him on the constant verge of falling asleep on his feet. Hormones be damned because he doesn't even have time to jerk off in the shower anymore, nor does he have the energy to get aroused so the problem ultimately takes care of itself.
For a while.
After their debut and the initial rush of being herded everywhere, things slow down enough for his body to catch up with his mind and the knowledge that he's surrounded by eleven attractive men at all times sits like a lump of ice in the pit of his stomach. He's just waiting for his body to betray him, scream out to the entire group that he wouldn't mind seeing them all naked and ass up. (Yes, sometimes even Jongin because he does this hip thrust that should be declared illegal.)
At first it causes him to stick to Jongin more often than not because he knows Jongin well enough to be comfortable and not fear the prospect of falling for him. There's always been this nagging in his mind that he was going to end up with a crush on Luhan because they spent so much time together and he's so focused on not developing feelings for Luhan that he doesn't even notice the fuzziness in his brain and flip in his stomach until far too late. His crush on Wufan hits him like a ton of bricks and all he wants to do is slip under a bed and hide when it dawns on him because they're all sweating from dance practice and Wufan's raising his shirt and suddenly Sehun's popping a boner.
Sehun knows he's screwed when he gets off to the flash of exposed skin in the bathroom ten minutes later, legs wobbling and sudden guilt forcing his throat to close. He can't even look at Wufan the rest of the day and he only hopes he can discover some terrible habit or mannerism of the leader's that will turn him completely off.
It doesn't happen.
Having the one off wetdream about Kyungsoo's mouth wrapped around his dick or Tao fucking him into a wall is completely different from continuously seeing Wufan manhandling him every time he falls asleep. The latest one features the tall leader and his wonderfully large hands wrapped around his erection, tugging almost too rough as Sehun begs for more. He wakes up before it finishes, leaving him with a painful tent under the blanket and his hips unconsciously grinding into the air. With a light groan of frustration, he slips his hand down to finish himself off quickly before wiping the mess away with his discarded boxers so he can go back to sleep and hopefully dream of something unrelated to dark eyes and chiseled facial features.
They're all exhausted, on their last dregs of energy as they wait semi-patiently for the vans to pull up so they can get out of the studio and into bed. The sun set hours ago and the grumbling in Sehun's stomach is pushed aside in favor of taking a moment for himself and propping his head on Wufan's shoulder. It's not like the other man seems to mind much, hunching down just a little lower so it's a better fit as they slump against the wall. His legs feel like jelly and he's not sure if it's because of the hours of dance practice or the effect of Wufan's warm body next to his own.
Tao shuffles over to them, refusing to pick his feet up off the floor as he goes, and leans his head on Wufan's other shoulder. It doesn't make Sehun jealous. The tightness in his stomach is from hunger pains.
"Can I shower first when we get back?" Tao inquires, using his small puppy voice and it takes all Sehun has to not roll his eyes. Puhlease.
"Of course," Wufan indulges, throwing the youngest of his unit a small smile and the scowl on Sehun's face deepens. This isn't how things are supposed to go. He's not supposed to care about the interactions of the others with Wufan. He's not supposed to want to drag the older man off for himself and keep him quarantined from certain dark-haired feline types. Like Tao. And Chen who's now throwing a smirk over his shoulder at his leader and Sehun stifles the growl in his throat, playing it off as a cough.
"You ok?" Wufan asks and Sehun merely nods because he doesn't trust his tongue and his face is red.
"Aww, is Sehunnie sick?" Jongin asks, a teasing smile on his face and Sehun most definitely hates him.
"Shut up," he grumbles, pushing half-heartedly at Jongin's chest when he gets too close.
"Does our baby need a nap?" And Jongin pinches his cheeks.
"Fuck you."
There's an elbow in his ribs suddenly and Sehun wheezes, shooting him a glare because Jongin is such an asshole. Retaliating in his usual manner, he punches his friend in the arm, sending him a glare as Jongin winces in mock pain.
"Would you two stop," Wufan interrupts and Sehun feels guilty for the exasperation laced in his voice. If Jongin notices how easily Sehun gives up the fight, he doesn't say anything.
While Luhan is someone he likes being around, when he spends a lot of time over in the older man's dorm, it's because he enjoys seeing Wufan walking around with his make-up free face, hair pulled up into a messy ponytail and pajama pants hanging low on his hips as he lets the hardass demeanor of being a leader slip away. He thinks maybe he's being too obvious about it sometimes, his eyes trailing after Wufan as he moves through the room, but it's those moments where he doesn't care.
Sehun watches the way his pants slide as he moves, shifting along the curves of his ass and clinging to his thighs. His brain promptly drops into overdrive when arms lift enough for him to see the small trail of hair that leads straight down to a place Sehun wouldn't mind diving headfirst. Biting his lip, he's unaware of Luhan's incessant babbling because there are vivid images of things he wants to do with Wufan rushing through his mind. He's in the midst of a rather heated scenario involving Wufan's tongue and a pair of fur-lined handcuffs when Luhan's hands squeeze his face.
"You in there?"
"Yeah, sorry," Sehun mumbles, dragging his eyes off Wufan and resettling them on Luhan. "Just tired."
Luhan seems to take it at face value and Sehun is forever grateful because telling his friend he's a little preoccupied imagining Wufan's dick in his mouth isn't how he envisions coming out.
Sehun is content to keep it to himself, let this crush burn through until it fades out and he can find someone else that's a little less intimidating to fixate on. Only it's hard to do when Wufan runs a hand down his arm as he reaches around to grab his jacket or ends up pressed against his back as they shuffle out the door to the vans.
Sometimes he thinks he signed away his sanity because no one in their right mind would enjoy the sweet torture of looking without being able to have.
Sehun's the last one to make it into the living room, all chairs and couches occupied by the other members already. Carefully maneuvering through the web of legs and feet in his path, he makes his way slowly toward Jongin because he's the only person he can plop his butt on without repercussion. But it's not Jongin who he ends up on. A pair of large hand suddenly grab his hips and pull him down onto an unfamiliar lap. With a girlish squeak of surprise, Sehun cranes his head around to see Wufan behind him and a trickle of heat winds down his throat and settles in his stomach. This can't be good.
The hands are gone and this is his chance to escape, pick his ass up off the very warm lap of the man he's been dreaming about for weeks, but there's also that self indulgent part of him that fights to stay. It inevitably wins and Sehun gives up.
The room goes dark and the movie starts playing on the screen. Conversations fall silent as they take the time to relax into the comfort of just being. It's too rare when they get a chance to do nothing, time away from the spotlights and dance practices and fans circling with cameras. And yet they all still manage to stay together, no one sneaking off for time alone because they're so accustomed to being a single unit that it feels weird without the presence of someone else. It's too ingrained, too embedded in their skin now.
It takes a little while, but Sehun eventually relaxes into Wufan, even going so far as to lean back against his chest. He steadfastly ignores the puffs of warm air against the skin of his shoulder where his shirt's slid down and focuses on the moving mouths of the actors because that's safe.
Having a boney ass means that it loses feeling quickly, prompting a shift so blood flow returns to the small amount of padding he does have down there. Sehun doesn't think anything of it when he wriggles his butt, trying to get feeling back in his cheeks. Large hands suddenly grip his sides, fingertips digging into his cloth covered waist just so and Sehun stops breathing because the heat runs straight up his skin while the effect is almost immediately felt between his legs. That's when he feels it, Wufan's dick digging in to his ass and it's hard. Oh fuck.
Breathe, Sehun. Breathe.
Ever so nonchalantly, he slides off of Wufan's lap in favor of the floor. He's still close to the man, sitting between his now spread legs and suddenly ideas flood in again because they're so close and Wufan's hard and now Sehun is too. It's only too easy to imagine what could happen if the others weren't there and it gets harder to breathe again.
It certainly doesn't help when he feels Wufan's fingers digging into the back of his neck, probably as an apology as he starts massaging the rigidity out of his muscles. His body goes haywire, wanting to lean in to the touch like a kitten and simultaneously pull away because it's too much stimulation. Sehun settles for letting his head droop in an effort to simply enjoy the contact because it's not often he's privileged enough to have Wufan's hands on him.
Ok, so maybe he's too into it because a low moan rumbles through his chest. The hand on his neck stills for a moment and it's enough to let Sehun know that Wufan heard that. Fuckfuckfuck. Wufan heard that. He really needs to get away, but one small move forward and the fingers tighten on his neck, holding him in place. A whimper escapes his lips and he stills, leaning back into his previous position.
They're not even together and Sehun's whipped. Fabulous.
Avoiding Wufan is a terribly easy thing to do when they're not in the same country. Small blessings and all that because Sehun isn't sure he can look at the other man without reliving the horror of movie night. Wufan's body had a natural reaction to pressure on his dick, but Sehun was more obvious. He wants to die - mummify himself in his sheets and let his remains fade into dust before he has to face him again. The mortification is enough to stop his fantasies for a while, but not permanently.
Not when there are videos online of M's current performance.
For all Wufan's coolness factor he's really an embarrassing ball of awkward when it comes down to it. Sehun buries his face in his hands when he sees Wufan strutting across the stage only to be followed by incredibly bad dancing. It's so terrible and it drives him crazy because he likes it. Absolutely nothing about the way his stiff body attempts to work around the steps is attractive. Nothing.
Nothing about Wufan is attractive.
Except his mouth. And possibly his collarbones. Also his hands, far too big for his body but so enticing with all the things they can do. Let's not get started on the expanse of his torso or his incredibly long legs either.
Sehun is so screwed.
The entire point of a cold shower is to reduce the throbbing between his legs, but Sehun seems to have forgotten. One hand works over his cock, taking in shallow breaths as two fingers work in and out of his ass quickly. His eyes roll back in his head, shutting as images of Wufan taking over invade. Everything heightens and his body tenses as he fantasizes about the older man's hard length thrusting in and out of his ass, one hand pulling his hair and the other wrapped around his cock.
Sehun's never come so hard in his life.
What startles Sehun the most is his ability to look Wufan in the eye when the two groups finally meld back into one. Shame is what he should be feeling, guilt over using the image of the leader as masturbation material for days, but he doesn't. He feels oddly at peace with himself and that's either terrifying or a new low he didn't think he could sink to.
They're huddled in the lobby of a hotel, managers and members trying to straighten out who is going to room where. Sehun isn't terribly worried because he always shares with Luhan and it's not like things are about to change.
"It's you and me. Come on," Wufan says casually, wrapping a hand around Sehun's wrist to pull him toward the elevator.
"What?"
Now is the time to panic.
"Tao wants to room with Luhan so we're together."
Sehun tries to pull his arm away, but Wufan's too strong. "I want to room with Jongin," he declares suddenly, pulling up the most comfortable person he can.
Wufan leans in, tapping two fingers underneath the boy's chin as he smiles. "It's cute you think you have a choice."
Sehun allows himself to be dragged across the linoleum and into the elevator mainly out of shock. His heart is thrumming, his chin is still tingling from the feel of Wufan's fingers and he's pretty sure his face is an unattractive shade of red.
An entire evening locked in a room with the man that makes his body melt into a puddle of desire. Nothing can possibly go wrong.
Ten seconds and that theory is proven incorrect.
Ten seconds after their door is shut and Sehun's back is against the wall.
Ten seconds and Wufan is leaning in, hands bracketing Sehun's head as he stares into his eyes.
Ten seconds is how long it takes for Sehun to regret ever laying eyes on the tall chinese man because he's fairly sure he's about to be dismembered.
Ten seconds and the curtain falls.
"Tell me I'm not the only one that wants this." Wufan's voice is deep, gravelly and it tugs at Sehun's stomach. His chest aches, heart pounding way too fast beneath his ribs and blood rushing in his ears. This is it. This is where Sehun either lets go or takes the dive.
Well, when opportunity knocks -
Sehun fists his hand in Wufan's shirt and drags him in for a kiss. Their lips nearly miss and Wufan readjusts before going in for a second, better try. This time they press together perfectly and Sehun's head feels lighter than air. Everything crashes down, the weight of his burden and the knowledge he doesn't have to do it alone pulling him into a state of elation.
Wufan wants him too.
Wufan goes to pull away and Sehun moves with him, not allowing any distance between their lips. "Sehun," the older man warns, but he's not listening, choosing to dart his tongue inside Wufan's mouth instead. The moan he hears coming from Wufan is enough encouragement for Sehun to tighten his hold. And now he's the one backing Wufan up, knees catching on the edge of the bed before he falls onto his butt. Sehun follows, settling his ass on Wufan's thighs to get comfortable because he isn't planning on letting go for a while.
He feels the pads of Wufan's fingers trailing up his neck, across his cheeks and he whimpers when they fist in his hair and tug his head back. The kiss is broken and Sehun is panting, lust taking hold because Wufan is pulling his hair. It makes Sehun squirm, desperate for more contact.
"Hold still," Wufan growls and he does so immediately. And Sehun thinks he looks so fuckable right now with his pink lips parted and his cheeks flushed. "Calm down."
"Why?" A lifetime of sexual frustration is sitting thick and heavy between his legs, and the heat of Wufan's body is only enticing him more. The last thing he wants is to let this go.
"I don't want you to get the wrong idea." Wufan licks his lips and Sehun watches his tongue with eager eyes. "This isn't just physical for me."
Queue the skipping heartbeat and the flipping in his stomach. "Me either," he forces out.
"So maybe we should take it slow."
Nope.
"But I need you," Sehun begs, grinding his hips down to show Wufan just how serious he is. "I don't want to have to get myself off thinking about you anymore," he confesses and it drags a moan out of the older man. "I look at you and imagine how amazing you would feel between my legs, how much I want to suck you off before you fuck me."
"Fuck, Sehun."
And the battle is won. Sehun finds himself on his back, pressed into the hard hotel mattress as Wufan rolls their hips together.
Sehun knows he's being impatient, needy even as his fingers catch on the seam of Wufan's shirt before pulling it over his head. There should probably be some decorum for all this seeing as it's his first time with Wufan and his first time with someone other than himself, but he's so riled up and Wufan is only making it worse. Lips attach to his neck and he whimpers, wishing Wufan could bite down, mark him as his own, but he's too responsible to do something that reckless. Sadly.
There's not nearly enough skin to skin contact, so Sehun decides to remedy the issue by tugging his own shirt off before fumbling with the button on his jeans.
"Let me," Wufan breathes and his fingers take over, easily sliding the denim down Sehun's thighs before tugging them off with his shoes until they hit the floor. And then his hand is brushing over the erection still trapped in his boxers and he whines, hips bucking into the air because his body is screaming for more. Wufan smiles, this grin that looks more evil than anything and the lust coils ever so much tighter as his boxers hit the floor soon after.
Sehun may have fantasized about how Wufan's hand would feel on his dick, but it's nothing compared to the real thing. The rough catch of dry skin against his cock is startling and the bottom of his stomach drops as his toes curl. The drag is edging on too much until a way-too-steady-to-have-never-given-someone-a-handjob-before palm circles his leaking tip and uses the moisture for a smoother glide. He means to make a mental note to ask about it later, but it's lost between the sweet pressure around the base of his cock and the tongue flitting back into his mouth.
He's not going to last very long if Wufan keeps this up and Sehun reaches between them to grab the other man's dick through his jeans. The long moan he entices out of Wufan is enough to make an attempt at taking off the other man's pants until everything stops and he pulls out of his reach.
"Come here," Wufan orders, standing beside the bed and Sehun doesn't think twice about obeying. Hands rest on his shoulders and push him to his knees and his mouth suddenly waters at what he knows comes next.
Sehun's never given a blowjob before, but he's seen enough porn and when Wufan's pants pool around his ankles, the cock standing in front of his face is just asking for it. Gripping the base, he looks up at Wufan for a moment before licking across the tip. It doesn't taste great, but it's not terrible. Sehun slips Wufan's cock through his lips and it's heavy on his tongue, the skin foreign but not unwelcome. Especially when Wufan makes that noise that almost sounds like a growl.
He tentatively bobs his head, taking in as much as he can before it hits the back of his throat.
"Wait," Wufan breathes out, pushing Sehun away. "Don't move."
And Sehun doesn't.
He watches as Wufan walks across to their bags, kicking his pants and shoes off as he goes, and pulls a bottle out of a side pocket. Oh. The sudden realization of where this is headed makes his stomach flip, partially out of fear but mostly out of excitement. Wufan hands the lube to Sehun who looks up at him questioningly.
"Stretch yourself open for me." And Wufan's voice is soft, sending a rush of heat through his body.
With the click of the cap, he pours the gel across his fingers before setting it on the bed. This is familiar, this is something he's done many times before and it puts him back in a comfortable place and he's proud that his hand doesn't shake too much when he reaches down between his legs. Sehun can't help the low moan that comes out when he pushes the first digit inside. He looks up at Wufan, mouth open and knees spreading further apart on the floor.
Sehun leans forward for a better angle, giving Wufan what he hopes is a sensual stare (and not his chronic stoicism) before taking his cock back in his mouth. It's a little difficult figuring things out, finally getting things right when he bobs his head to the rhythm of his finger still working in his ass.
"Goody boy," Wufan whispers, a hand cupping Sehun's cheek before trailing to his jaw and caressing gently. Sehun whimpers, wanting to be the best for Wufan. With a muffled noise that's blocked, Sehun slides another finger in, pumping faster and harder as he presses his tongue into the slit of Wufan's dick before taking him in and sucking around the head. Another finger and Sehun is finding it hard to keep up. His jaw is sore and there's too much saliva gathered at the corners of his mouth, some of it running down his chin.
The hand on his face moves to his hair, tangling in the still wet strands before it grips and Sehun looks up with wide eyes as the cock falls out of his mouth. With shaky legs and sore knees, he stands and lets the other man pull his fingers out of his prepped entrance.
"My boy," Wufan says before kissing him and Sehun moans, no hesitation in holding on to his new lover (boyfriend?) as he's guided to the bed. When they fall, Sehun lands on top and Wufan fishes the bottle of lube from under his leg and hands it to him. They resituate, Wufan still on his back and Sehun straddling him, chest still heaving and his eyes focused on the dick about to be inside him. Licking his lips several times, swiping over salty skin that's still a little swollen, he pours out enough lube to slick him up.
His legs are trembling and he's not sure if it's because of the high strung anticipation or the lust or the position he was in on the floor or the dread of this being his first time, but it's there and all roiling around in his stomach. Wufan sits up, tapping two fingers under his chin just like he did earlier. "Relax," he says, before pressing a kiss to his lips. "You're in control."
Surprisingly, that eases the near panic and Sehun nods as Wufan lays down again. Several steady breaths later and he's lifting onto his knees, one hand holding his cheeks apart and the other guiding Wufan's cock in between. The pressure is more than he's used to, but he keeps going until the head slides through. Mouth slack from the feeling of being stretched so open, filled more than he's ever been before, he begins a slow slide down until he's seated. It burns a little and it's more uncomfortable than anything, but there's also that pleasure behind it.
Wufan's fingers are digging into his thighs now and Sehun looks down to see him and it's a sight he wants to be the only one to ever witness. His pupils are blown and his lips are wet and his chest is flushed pink in unattractive splotches. But Sehun did this. Sehun is the one to work Wufan up to this point.
A minute later and Sehun rolls his hips, earning a groan from Wufan and bruises on his thighs that he hopes linger for days. The motion isn't painful and he does it again before bracing himself on the bed and lifting slowly. Wufan looks up at him, holds his eyes and gives Sehun a small nod of encouragement. Always the leader. The younger then lets gravity pull him back down, a rush of friction and gratification building from the action. He wants more.
This is far more satisfying than jerking off, picking up the pace until he's practically bouncing on Wufan's cock. Sehun knows he's moaning, knows he's loud, but he can't help it and the other man isn't helping as he brings his hips up with every downward thrust. "Wufan," Sehun whines, panting and sweating and rocking as fast as he can, as hard as he can.
And then his arms give out.
Sehun lands on Wufan's chest and moments later he's on his back, scratchy duvet rough against his skin. Wufan is over him, propped on an elbow and head hanging low with his mouth open and hips still snapping forward at the pace Sehun set. His entire body is buzzing, almost vibrating with his impending orgasm and Sehun doesn't think his cock has ever felt hotter as he takes it in hand. A few strokes is all it takes and he's crying out, spine bowing off the bed and muscles clenching as he comes over his hand and stomach.
A string of mandarin falls from Wufan's lips before Sehun feels the cock twitching in his ass followed by the warmth of his release. He groans, body slack and a grin plastered on his face. When Wufan leans in, he kisses each of Sehun's cheeks and the tip of his nose before planting one on his mouth. "Mine."
When Sehun wakes in the morning, he curses himself for having too active of an imagination until he tries to move. Then he promptly stops, flopping back onto the mattress with a load groan because it hurts. A hand presents itself in Sehun's face, holding two pills and he takes them graciously before accepting the accompanying glass of water. "Thank you," he grumbles, pulling the blankets back over his head.
"Nope," Wufan announces before ripping them away and the cold sends goosebumps down his naked body.
"Fuck you."
"If you behave."
And now Sehun is awake.
Now is the worst possible time for a heart to heart, people teeming around the dressing room attempting to peel sweat soaked clothing off and wipe away thick stage makeup. Jongin is over in the corner, wiping away at his face as he sits in front of a mirror. Sehun is still in his stage clothes, but he rushes over anyway. His stomach is twisted and there's this thread of guilt churning in his gut and he needs to spill. Fear gives him the courage to do what he needs and he only hopes this is the right thing to do.
When it was just him, just Sehun being gay and in his own little word daydreaming about having a boyfriend, everything was acceptable. But now there's another person, a very real and tall and handsome person who is now his and while he's elated, he's afraid. He's kept it bottle in for so long and he just can't hide it from the world completely. And if there's one person who deserves to know, it's his best friend.
He props his head on Jongin's shoulder, crouching down so their reflections are eyelevel. "We're best friends, right?" he asks through the din, voice low enough for no one else to hear. "No matter what?"
"Sehun, you could kill Joonmyun and I'd convince myself you did it for the betterment of humanity." There's a smile on Jongin's face and Sehun swallows over the lump of fear lodged in his windpipe.
"And if I told you I was gay?"
Jongin stops scrubbing at a particularly stubborn spot of makeup by his nose and merely gazes at Sehun through the mirror. "I'd assume Wufan's the reason for that subtle limp you've got there."
Sehun nearly chokes on his spit. "How did you -"
"I'm your best friend, idiot. Besides, he hasn't stopped smiling all day. I think you broke him."
"So it doesn't bother you?"
"Being gay isn't as serious an offense as murdering Joonmyun. However, if you want to get into his sweaters with a pair of scissors later, I'm right behind you."
Sehun laughs. It's loud and attention grabbing, but he doesn't care. He wraps his arms around his friend from behind and resists the urge to leave a sloppy kiss on his cheek. This is better than he'd hoped and eventually, maybe they can tell the rest of the members.
"You know you've given me a permanent get out of jail free card, right?"
Because Jongin is going to be insufferable.
Wufan kisses in threes every time they get a chance to meet away from prying eyes; pressing his mouth to Sehun's bottom lip, then his top and finally right in the middle. Sehun smiles between each one, his feet off the floor as Wufan holds him up. It's been over a week since they've seen each other and the burning in his stomach has been gnawing at him incessantly. But now it's fading, replaced with acceptance and Sehun knows he's in over his head.
Which is exactly where he wants to be.
---
A/N: We will not be dwelling on how much I hated the flow in this and instead be celebrating its finale! *throws confetti*