adoption update

Apr 16, 2010 12:49

hey, gang ( Read more... )

life and death, adoption

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Comments 7

bookpixie April 16 2010, 21:00:00 UTC
you could always let your friends write letters for you as well. We all know you guys are awesome and would make the best parents and are more then happy to tell that to anyone else!
I'm so excited for both of you! I hope your wait isn't too long and everything works out great. Can't wait to throw one heck of a baby shower too! ;-p

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thesilia April 18 2010, 16:57:36 UTC
thanks, lady! i'm soooo looking forward to it. i'm outta town for the next two weeks, but we should coordinate a sushi-rolling party for when i get back.

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madknits April 17 2010, 15:08:20 UTC
Oh, good luck! When my friends here in Boston went through their adoption process, I found the questionnaires to be quite invasive.

Pick up Dan Savage's The Kid, about when he and his BF decided to adopt. Of course, they did it in Oregon, which has open adoption, but it was fascinating to see how two queers coped with the forms.

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tyresias April 17 2010, 19:45:11 UTC
2nd, read and loved that book.

Gave me hope that someone else would similarly pick a queer (me! eventually...) I've since found out this does happen even more often than I hoped.

*hugs*

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thesilia April 18 2010, 17:18:12 UTC
this was one of the things i was quite gratified to find out, and it makes sense in its own way. many birthmothers are of an age that does not consider queerness to be a moral failing or a heinous sin. so they don't hesitate to make plans to place their babies with families like ours. some, of course, are still quite conservative, but i would guess that about half of birthmothers are happy to place with queers, based on my limited exposure to the listings so far.

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thesilia April 18 2010, 17:12:33 UTC
thanks for that recommendation, dear! i'll try to find that book.

yeah, invasive is a good word for the questionnaires. one of the things i like about our agency is that they're nearly all social workers, so inclusive, feminist, queer-friendly language is important to them. almost all of their forms have been converted to "Adoptive Parent I" and "Adoptive Parent II" terminology, rather than "Husband" and "Wife", as an example. but they have a certain minimum set of questions they're required to ask by the state, and certain boxes that must be checked, interviews that must be conducted, etc. it's fascinating how much goes into this.

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