Five Times Bones Didn’t See Jim Kirk’s Massive Cock, and One Time He Didn’t Need To (ST:XI Fanfic)
Title: Five Times Bones Didn’t See Jim Kirk’s Massive Cock, and One Time He Didn’t Need To
Author: therumjournals
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Rating: R (for prodigious amounts of profanity and penis)
Word Count: 4,700
This is the third installment in the Jim Kirk's Massive Cock series.
Part 1: Five Times Dr. McCoy Saw Jim Kirk's Massive Cock, and One Time Bones Did
Part 2: Five Rumors Bones Heard About Jim Kirk's Massive Cock, and One That He Started
A/N: Many thanks to diane_kepler for support, encouragement, fabulous beta-ing, and for recently joining the massive peen crack fic club and giving Spock his own ginormous apparatus. Go check it out - after you read this one, of course!
1.
Bones left campus and made his way toward the bar, picking up his pace as he veered off the main street to take a shortcut. He checked his watch, cursing another late shift, and hoped Jim wasn’t too drunk yet. He needed at least one quiet drink at the local dive before Jim dragged him out to some rowdy college club. As he approached the bar, he saw a lone figure standing in the alleyway, head tilted back as he relieved himself against the brick wall. Bones curled his lip. Of all the unsanitary, unhygienic, disgusting. . . . He frowned as he watched the guy wiggle and twist, an elaborate choreography apparently required in order to get his pants zipped up. Of course.
“Bones!” Jim exclaimed happily as he turned and spotted him, yanking the zipper the rest of the way up. Bones lifted his eyes quickly from Jim’s fly and gave him what he hoped was a disgusted look.
“Jim, haven’t you ever heard of a bathroom?”
“It’s nice to see you, too, Bones.”
“Do you know how unsanitary-“
“Unhygienic, disgusting, blah blah, yeah, I know Bones, but just as I was about to go into the bathroom, a Talaxian came out. Have you ever gone to the bathroom after a Talaxian? It’s a fucking biohazard.”
Bones gave a small nod, conceding the point. Talaxian excretions were actually illegal in several states.
“You all right there, Jim?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jim said, gritting his teeth and tugging at his inseam. “Just gets a little uncomfortable sometimes, you know how it is.” Sure he did.
“Well, maybe if you wore jeans that had a little breathing room…”
“These jeans make my ass look amazing, I’m not giving that up.”
Bones resisted the urge to verify Jim’s statement.
“Anyway, this is nothing. It’s those fucking cadet pants that kill me. You know, I tried to get a supply officer to special order me some custom uniform pants.”
Bones raised an eyebrow. “Are you fucking with me?”
“I’m totally serious. I told him I’d give them the measurements and everything.”
“And?”
“And…he gave me five demerits and told me to stop thinking so highly of myself.”
Bones chuckled.
“Yeah, it’s real funny, Bones, thanks.”
“I didn’t even know we could get demerits.”
“Well, keep up the mocking, and I’ll make sure you get some of your very own someday.”
“You should have just shown him.”
“Uh-huh. I’d like to see you pull your pants down in front of a Starfleet officer.”
“I’m serious. He probably would have been so stunned you could have pulled the PADD out of his hands and placed the order yourself.”
Jim grinned and gave him a sideways look. “You’re cute, Bones.”
Bones rolled his eyes. “Look, seriously, Jim,” he said, slipping into his doctor-voice, “If you want, I could probably help you out. Write you a note that says it’s a medical necessity or something.”
“Really? You’d do that for me?”
Sure he would. Dr. Leonard McCoy, helping rumors come true every day.
2.
This was why Bones needed a few drinks in him before he let Jim take the lead. Because when Jim was making decisions, they invariably ended up in a place like this - music pounding, lights strobing, and females of various species grinding up against each other on a stage. Bones stood next to Jim in the writhing crowd and tried not to let anyone touch him.
“SO? WHAT DO YOU THINK?!” Jim yelled into his ear.
Bones winced and yelled back, “WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING UP THERE?” He really had no idea what was going on, what with the assortment of limbs, tentacles and antennae thrashing around onstage. Jim, however, must have had some sort of idea, if the way he was repeatedly adjusting himself was any sign.
“FREAKY HOT, RIGHT?” Jim yelled.
Bones stared intently at the stage. While whatever they were doing up there was doing absolutely nothing for his libido, Jim squirming around next to him was having its own rather disconcerting effect.
“ALRIGHT, LOOK, BONES, I GOTTA GO TAKE CARE OF THIS,” Jim shouted, gesturing at his rather unsubtle erection.
Bones gave him a horrified look and Jim laughed. “DON’T WORRY. I WON’T LET ANYONE TOUCH IT!”
That was somewhat of a relief, given the clientele, but still. “YOU’RE GOING TO LEAVE ME HERE ALONE?” Bones yelled, a hint of desperation in his voice as the mass of sweaty bodies seemed to close in around him.
“I’LL BE BACK IN A SEC.” Bones looked skeptical, and Jim grabbed his arm and leaned in close, though he still had to yell to be heard. “I CAN GET OFF IN TWENTY SECONDS. IT’S A SKILL.” He pulled back, winked at Bones, and disappeared into the crowd, Bones’ shout of “WASH YOUR HANDS!!” lost in the noise.
Bones tried really hard to pay attention to the stage - he wouldn’t have thought someone with four breasts could be that flexible - but his mind followed Jim through the crowd and into the bathroom, and dammit, now he was the one squirming and adjusting himself. He didn’t have time to dwell on it, however, before Jim was back at his side, grinning. “Told ya!” he mouthed.
Bones shook his head in disbelief. Jim grabbed his arm and pulled him close again to shout in his ear. “NOT EVERYONE NEEDS SCENTED CANDLES AND JAZZ MUSIC TO GET THEIR ROCKS OFF, BONES.”
Bones scowled and yanked his arm out of Jim’s grasp as Jim glanced pointedly at the bulge in his jeans. “I’M GOING TO THE BATHROOM,” Bones yelled over the music. He turned around when he was a few steps away. “AND I DON’T NEED ANYTHING!”
3.
Bones let the door slide shut behind him and stood silently for a moment, listening. He’d never been one to enter their dorm room noisily, unlike Jim, who came in like a tornado, tossing shoes and books and other detritus around the room as he made himself at home. This attempt at absolute silence, however, was relatively new. As was deliberately timing his arrival to coincide with Jim’s return from hand-to-hand combat training, a strategy which had apparently worked, as he was rewarded by the sound of the shower running. His heart thudded in his chest, and a nagging voice in the back of his head told him that he was acting like a depraved stalker. He informed the voice that if it had seen Jim Kirk’s cock, it would be doing the same thing, and in the meantime it could kindly fuck off. Bones pulled his desk chair out as quietly as possible and settled into it, his eyes on the bathroom door. His stomach clenched when the door slid open, and he realized that he was starting to sweat. That’s attractive, he thought, taking a deep breath and trying to calm his nerves as he waited for Jim to walk out of the bathroom. He heard Jim step out of the shower and leaned forward, every nerve tensed.
“Bones?” Jim called from the bathroom.
Dammit. He tried to steady his breathing but didn’t say anything.
“Hey, Bones, are you out there?” Bones squeezed his eyes shut. This was so not going as planned. “I’m just asking because, if you’re out there, I’ll put a towel on.” That motherfucking kid was too smart for his own good. “I mean, I wouldn’t want you to see anything you didn’t want to see.”
Bones could totally picture him, leaning his hip against the inside wall, smirking, knowing exactly the effect he was having on Bones by just existing; naked, water dripping into his clear blue eyes, down his chest, through a sparse trail of hair and over his. . . .“I’m gonna guess by the sound of that stifled moan that you’re out there. I’m putting a towel on.” Fuck.
Bones pulled his chair around and jammed his legs and growing erection underneath the desk. Jim walked out, a towel wrapped securely around his waist, to find Bones scowling furiously at the desktop. “Oh hey, Bones! I didn’t know you were here!” he said cheerfully, resting his ass against the edge of the desk. Bones didn’t look at him. Jim leaned down close and Bones could feel warm breath brush against his ear. “Couple suggestions for ya. Number one, headphones.”
“What?” Bones asked without turning his head, wanting Jim to stay close.
“So you can pretend you didn’t hear me. Number two, a PADD, so you can pretend you were actually doing something at your desk.”
Bones growled. “I don’t know what you think you’re playing at, Jim.”
He could practically feel Jim’s smile. “I think you do. And number three…” Jim pushed off the desk and took a few steps away.
Bones clenched his hands on his lap. “Number three?” he asked weakly.
“Number three,” said Jim from close behind him, leaning over the back of his chair, “if you really want another chance to get another look at my massive cock….”
Bones swallowed audibly.
“You could schedule me for a physical,” Jim said in a normal voice, walking away, breaking the spell. “I’m due for one before my space jump next month. Or, ya know, I could see if Dr. M’Benga can do it.”
“M’Benga wishes,” Bones grumbled. He was pretty sure there was something in Starfleet Regulations that prohibited a medical officer from using his position to fulfill a desire to get a peek at his roommate’s substantial equipment. Maybe not in so many words. And why the fuck was he even thinking about this?!
He heard the closet door close as Jim finished dressing behind him.
“Alright, Bones, I’m off to the library. Tomorrow afternoon, same time, same place, same sexual frustration?”
Bones curled his lip by way of an answer and refused to look up from his desk until Jim was heading out the door. Damn, his ass did look amazing in those jeans.
4.
Bones came awake slowly in the darkness to the sound of muffled grunts coming from Jim’s bed. For a minute he thought Jim had a girl over, a blatant violation of their roommate contract (which Jim seemed to have thus far treated as more of a “to do” list). Then he remembered that Jim hadn’t even gone out tonight, which meant that he was alone, which meant that…well, fuck, apparently it meant that Bones was thinking about Jim’s cock again. Bones felt a jolt in his groin as his own dick perked up at the realization. He turned onto his stomach as quietly as possible, pressing his erection into the mattress and his face into the pillow. He wondered if Jim would be too immersed in his own self-gratification to notice if Bones were to start humping his mattress into oblivion. His mind helpfully supplied five cutting remarks that Jim would probably come up with if he got caught, and he decided it wasn’t worth the risk. He vowed to try to wait until Jim finished and fell back to sleep. Speaking of which, Jim had been going at it for a good five minutes now and Bones was beginning to get a little uncomfortable in more ways than one. Maybe he should say something? No, that was a terrible idea. Although, if their positions were reversed, he was sure Jim wouldn’t hesitate. Bones grinned into his pillow at the idea of giving Jim a taste of his own medicine. He rolled onto his side.
"Just to let you know, Jim, that’s been going on for way longer than twenty seconds."
He heard a muffled whimper and a choking sound. "Jesus Christ, Bones," Jim whispered across the room. "What are you doing, listening to me? Pervert."
"You woke me up."
"And you couldn't just put a pillow over your head or something and save us both the embarrassment?"
"Save you the embarrassment, maybe."
"Yeah, right. Anyway, I have nothing to be embarrassed about. It's normal."
"I think we both know there's nothing normal about that beast."
"Shh. Don't call the captain a beast."
"Well I'm sure as hell not calling it the captain."
“Give the captain some respect.”
“Give your roommate some respect.”
“Hey, at least I waited until you were asleep, didn’t I?”
“Well, I’m awake now, so quit it.”
“What the hell am I supposed to do?! I can’t just go to sleep like this!”
“I don’t know, I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”
They lay in silence for a moment.
“Hey Bones.”
“What?”
“Wanna come give me a hand over here?”
“Shut up, Jim.”
“I’m serious. Sometimes two hands just won’t do it for me.”
“Good god, Jim, I do not want to hear about the mechanics.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. Now shut up.”
“You’re not the least bit curious?”
Yes, he was. “No, I’m not.”
Jim was blissfully silent for another moment.
“Hey Bones?”
“What?” Bones growled.
“Wanna put on some jazz?”
Bones threw his pillow across the room.
Jim stood up, wrapped his blanket around his waist, and walked over, dumping the pillow back on Bones.
“Where are you going?”
“To take a cold shower, where do you think?” Jim leaned down to open Bones’ bedside cabinet.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Jim pulled out a candle, put it on the bedside table, and touched a lighter to the wick. The wavering flame failed to illuminate anything beyond Jim’s grin and the sparkle in his eyes. “I have a feeling you might need this,” Jim said with a wink. He turned around at the door of the bathroom. “You’ve got ten minutes.”
Bones propped himself up on an elbow. “If that’s Warm Vanilla Sugar,” he said, peering at the candle, “I’ll only need five.”
5.
McCoy tried to exude confidence and professionalism as he welcomed Dr. Calder and a distinguished looking Starfleet Officer into his tiny office. Calder had asked him to take the lead in planning the Academy’s Annual Medical Conference, and this was their chance to secure a prominent figure as their keynote speaker. McCoy was feeling the pressure and, as he gestured for the gentlemen to take their seats, already felt like he was failing miserably. He should have had some witty opening anecdote prepared, goddammit, something to ease the tension and loosen them up a bit. Hell, Jim probably would have charmed the pants off of them by now, and oh great, that was just what he needed, the words Jim and pants appearing in his head as he tried to keep it professional.
And speak of the motherfucking devil, as if drawn to Bones’ salacious thoughts like a bee to a flower, Jim Kirk appeared in the doorway, smirking at him from behind the seated officers. Bones hoped against hope that Jim would see that he was busy and move on, but he might as well have hoped that a unicorn would come prancing down the hall, and goddammit, now he was thinking about Jim’s dick again! Jim put a finger to his lips, crossed his arms, and leaned against the side of the open doorway. Yeah, he planned to stay for awhile.
Okay, focus. Focus on the captain. Oh fuck.
“Dr. McCoy,” Dr. Calder began, “I believe you’ve met the Captain?”
Jim looked directly at Bones, winked, and mouthed “The captain?!”
“Actually, I haven’t had the pleasure.” Oh, this was going to be hell. He didn’t even need to look up to imagine Jim’s shit-eating grin. “Nice to finally meet you, Captain Hilyard.”
“McCoy, you’re aware of the captain’s accomplishments and his contributions to the field of xenobiology.” Bones cursed the existence of peripheral vision as he saw Jim give his crotch a thumbs-up. “It’s because of the captain that we have such a thorough understanding of a number of species.” Jim did a little bow, and Bones wondered if it would be unprofessional to pull out his flask in the middle of a meeting. And was it just him, or was Calder applying a particular emphasis whenever he said the word captain. “The Academy has requested that we give the entire class of incoming cadets a chance to be introduced to the captain.” Jim’s mouth dropped open in silent laughter. Bones considered skipping the flask and going straight for a hypo.
“The, uh, the entire class?” Bones managed to respond. He tugged at his collar, realizing that he’d broken into a full-on sweat.
“Of course!”
“Right, right. Um, yeah, that sounds great. The more people that get a chance to, uh, see the captain in person, the better.” He braved a glare at Jim, who had a clamped a hand over his mouth and appeared to be turning purple in the attempt to stifle his laughter.
“It isn’t easy being captain,” Hilyard continued. “So many people after you to appear at various ceremonies and functions.” Jim furrowed his eyebrows and nodded seriously. “However, I’d love to speak to your cadets during the morning session if that would be alright.”
“The morning schedule’s getting pretty full,” Calder responded. “It’ll be tight, but I think we can squeeze the captain in, don’t you McCoy?” Bones wondered for a moment whether his decommissioning would be the result of bursting into hysterical laughter or breaking down into sobs. He managed to nod weakly, and tried to regain some composure as Calder and Hilyard settled the schedule.
“You should take some time to get to know the captain, McCoy,” said Calder, once Captain Hilyard had left, giving Jim a little salute on the way out. “I think it would be worth your while.”
“You think?”
“Yes, not to mention it could be very beneficial to your social and professional status. The captain has friends in high places.”
Hell, he was already a goner, he might as well grab the bull by the horns, so to speak. “Well Dr. Calder, if the captain is interested in getting to know me better, I would certainly enjoy the opportunity.” Jim’s eyes widened a little.
“Are you feeling alright, Dr. McCoy? You look a little flushed.”
“Do I? Sorry, I guess…”
“It’s okay. We all get a little nervous when someone of the captain’s reputation shows interest in our work.”
“Right.”
“Just remember, McCoy. It’s your job to keep the captain happy.” Jesus Christ, did Jim script this freaking thing?
“I’ll do my best. If that’s all…?”
“Yes of course, goodbye Dr. McCoy,” and with that he turned and left. Bones offered a silent prayer that he hadn’t needed to stand up from the boner-concealing safety of his desk.
Calder nodded at Jim, who had amazingly been able to compose himself, and headed out the door. As soon as he was gone, Jim stepped in and the door slid closed.
Bones collapsed onto his desk with his head on his arms. Jim took a step closer. “Jim, I swear to god, if you take one more step, I am going to leap over this desk and strangle you. As I’ve been fantasizing for the last half hour.”
“Really, Bones?” Jim asked, taking that other step. “Is that what you’ve been fantasizing about for the past half hour?”
“What are you even doing here, Jim?”
“I was here for my physical with Dr. M’Benga. You should know, since you scheduled it, jerk.”
He was up against the desk when Bones looked up wearily. “And this is what? Your revenge? Torturing me? Do you know how close I came to completely losing it there?”
“I don’t know,” Jim said with a smile. “I thought you handled it pretty well.” He leaned forward, his palms on the desk, and lowered his voice. “I think you really made an impression on the captain.”
“Jim….” Bones said warningly. Jim continued, his voice low, seductive.
“Why, I think the captain might even be excited to meet with you…one-on-one.”
“Jim…” This time his voice was strained. He took a deep breath and ground out, “If I never see another captain again in my life, it will be too soon.”
“Oh, I highly doubt that, Bones.” Jim pressed up against the edge of the desk. Bones tried to fight it, but he couldn’t stop himself from glancing up. The line of Jim’s massive cock strained against his still-regulation uniform pants. Bones found it difficult to care that he was staring.
Jim reached out and brushed a finger against the corner of his lips, and Bones jerked his head away from the touch.
“Sorry,” Jim said, “you had a little drool there.”
Cocky motherfucker. “Do you know why I scheduled your physical with Dr. M’Benga?”
“Because you’re a stubborn bastard who refuses to take what he wants when it’s being offered?”
“No, because you annoy the shit out of me. Now get out of my office.”
“Fine. Just give me twenty seconds,” Jim said, reaching for his fly.
“GET OUT!”
+1.
Bones found Jim sitting at the deserted bar in the middle of the afternoon, looking dejectedly at a half-empty bottle of beer.
“Hey Jim, why so glum? Huge cock got ya down?”
“That’s not funny.”
“Hey, I thought it was my job to be surly. Seriously, what’s going on?”
“Bones, you’re my friend, right?”
Bones took a swig of Jim’s beer and nodded. “’Course.”
“What are you thinking about right now?”
“I’m wondering how many drinks I’m gonna have to buy you before you suggest that we go do something ludicrous so I know you’re feeling better.”
Jim looked at him with eyebrows raised. “So…you’re not thinking about my cock?”
“Ah, well, now I am.”
Jim ran his fingers up the neck of his beer bottle. Bones’ mouth suddenly felt very dry. He pulled the bottle away and took another swig. “But so’s half the campus at any given point in time, so what’s your point?” he continued.
“That is my point! Do you know how many rumors there are going around about my cock?”
Bones raised an eyebrow. “I have an idea.”
“Apparently I’ve been injected with some sort of alien DNA, did you know that?”
“Yep. Got a couple requests for it, actually. I could make some damn good money if I could just locate a well-endowed alien race. Then, of course, there’s the one about how your dick is famous in Russia.”
Jim smiled and blushed. “Yeah, ummm…that one may not necessarily be a rumor.”
Bones narrowed his eyes. “Shut up.”
“Look, there was a time in my life when I had to find creative ways to make some money. You know, I’ve been told that the Russians actually invented porn.”
“So…is there a video?”
“You wish.”
They were silent for a moment, then Jim laughed. “Oh, and apparently someone started telling people that there’s some planet where my cock is-”
“Worshipped as a god?” Bones supplied helpfully.
“Yeah,” said Jim, laughing, and then his laughter trailed off as he saw the blush rising to Bones’s face. “Oh Bones. You didn’t.”
Bones raised the bottle. “Sorry Jim. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, and all that.”
Jim shook his head. “You fucker.”
“Oh come on! I thought you’d like that one!”
“Yeah, I guess. I just wish sometimes that people would see past that, ya know. Maybe notice how fucking smart I am instead.”
“Or how modest.”
“Yeah, exactly.” Jim ran a hand over his eyes. To be honest, the kid looked pretty dejected. McCoy wondered if it really was getting to him. He put a hand on Jim’s shoulder.
“Jim, you are more than just your ridiculously oversized genitalia.”
“And you don’t help things, either.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’re just as bad as the rest of them!” He looked up at Bones, catching his eye. “Obsessed with my cock? Ring a bell?”
Bones bit his lip. It was true, of course, and Jim knew it. But Bones wondered if Jim really knew. “Jim, it’s not like tha-“
“Yeah, it is.” Jim sounded serious now, bordering on mad. “Sometimes I feel like that’s all I am to you, a sexually fascinating medical abnormality.”
Bones raised his eyebrows. “Jim. There are so many things wrong with that assumption.”
“No, you know what, I bet that’s the only reason you agreed to room with me.” Wow, Jim sounded really pissed. He slammed his hands down on the bar. “Hell, I bet it’s the only reason we’re even friends. You saw my massive shlong and you were like, ‘hell, I’d put up with anyone to catch another glimpse of that!’” His brow was furrowed and he was staring intently at the bar. A little too intently.
Bones edged a little further into Jim's personal space. "Are you fucking with me, Jim? You don’t really think that all I care about is your admittedly gargantuan cock, do you? You’re fucking with me, right?"
Jim's mouth quirked up in a half-smile. "Maybe a little."
“I knew it,” he said, his voice low. “Brat.”
Jim looked up and caught his gaze, their faces only inches apart. Bones was the first to look away.
“Jim,” he said, looking at the floor. “Do you, uh…do you wanna get out of here, maybe go back to the room?”
“No.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Bones felt Jim’s lips brush against the corner of his mouth and his breath caught in his throat. He looked at Jim in surprise and Jim looked back, a challenge in his eyes.
A second passed before Bones regained the ability to speak, eloquently as always. “The hell?”
He felt Jim’s hand on his hip, and Jim leaned in to press a warm, dry kiss to his cheek.
“You want to do this right here?” Bones asked, his voice rough.
“You want to wait?”
“Waited long enough,” Bones growled, sliding his hand into Jim’s hair and pulling him in for a real kiss. He tried to keep his desperation in check, tried to keep from pouring two entire years of unrequited lust into that first kiss, but he could feel himself losing control. He felt Jim’s hand clutch at the back of his t-shirt as their tongues slid together, a rough and reckless kiss that had Bones reeling.
Some part of his mind tried to analyze the situation, informing him that he was making out with Jim Kirk in a fucking bar, for chrissakes, but the feeling of Jim’s palm against his erection quickly shut down any and all rational thought.
"You want my cock, Bones?"
"I don’t give a fuck about your cock, Jim," Bones said, pressing his lips and tongue against the warm, salty skin of Jim’s neck. He pulled back to take a breath and to look Jim in the eye. “I want you.”
“Well, it is kind of a big part of me you know,” Jim said, and to prove it he pulled Bones closer until he could feel Jim’s length pressing insistently against him. Bones gasped into Jim’s neck, and squeezed him tighter to stop himself from shaking.
"So, you really don't care about my cock?"
"I care a little about your cock," Bones conceded, panting, as he felt Jim grind slowly against him.
"I think that's the only time anyone's ever said the word 'little' in relation to my cock," Jim breathed, and Bones could tell that Jim was almost as far gone as he was.
"I…oh god…I don’t think it will never happen again. Jesus, Jim, we’ve gotta get out of here, or I’m going to embarrass myself."
“Okay, let’s go,” Jim said, pulling back slightly, his breathing heavy. “Anyway, I think it’s time that you got a personal introduction to mmmmmmmmffff-“ Bones had slapped a hand over Jim’s mouth.
“Jim, I swear to god,” Bones growled. “If you say ‘the captain’, I’m going to-“
Jim raised an expectant eyebrow and, goddamn, he was beautiful. Bones pulled his hand away and covered Jim’s lips with his own, plunging his tongue eagerly into Jim’s mouth and kissing him until he thought they might both pass out.
“Not much of a threat, Bones,” Jim managed when he finally caught his breath. “Doesn’t matter though,” he said, taking Bones’ face in his hands, pulling them together clumsily until their foreheads touched. “It’s yours now, Bones,” he whispered. “And you can call it whatever you want.”
Next! Five Things Bones Did with Jim Kirk’s Massive Cock, and One Thing He Really Wanted to Do (He Swears)
Author: therumjournals
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Rating: R (for prodigious amounts of profanity and penis)
Word Count: 4,700
This is the third installment in the Jim Kirk's Massive Cock series.
Part 1: Five Times Dr. McCoy Saw Jim Kirk's Massive Cock, and One Time Bones Did
Part 2: Five Rumors Bones Heard About Jim Kirk's Massive Cock, and One That He Started
A/N: Many thanks to diane_kepler for support, encouragement, fabulous beta-ing, and for recently joining the massive peen crack fic club and giving Spock his own ginormous apparatus. Go check it out - after you read this one, of course!
1.
Bones left campus and made his way toward the bar, picking up his pace as he veered off the main street to take a shortcut. He checked his watch, cursing another late shift, and hoped Jim wasn’t too drunk yet. He needed at least one quiet drink at the local dive before Jim dragged him out to some rowdy college club. As he approached the bar, he saw a lone figure standing in the alleyway, head tilted back as he relieved himself against the brick wall. Bones curled his lip. Of all the unsanitary, unhygienic, disgusting. . . . He frowned as he watched the guy wiggle and twist, an elaborate choreography apparently required in order to get his pants zipped up. Of course.
“Bones!” Jim exclaimed happily as he turned and spotted him, yanking the zipper the rest of the way up. Bones lifted his eyes quickly from Jim’s fly and gave him what he hoped was a disgusted look.
“Jim, haven’t you ever heard of a bathroom?”
“It’s nice to see you, too, Bones.”
“Do you know how unsanitary-“
“Unhygienic, disgusting, blah blah, yeah, I know Bones, but just as I was about to go into the bathroom, a Talaxian came out. Have you ever gone to the bathroom after a Talaxian? It’s a fucking biohazard.”
Bones gave a small nod, conceding the point. Talaxian excretions were actually illegal in several states.
“You all right there, Jim?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jim said, gritting his teeth and tugging at his inseam. “Just gets a little uncomfortable sometimes, you know how it is.” Sure he did.
“Well, maybe if you wore jeans that had a little breathing room…”
“These jeans make my ass look amazing, I’m not giving that up.”
Bones resisted the urge to verify Jim’s statement.
“Anyway, this is nothing. It’s those fucking cadet pants that kill me. You know, I tried to get a supply officer to special order me some custom uniform pants.”
Bones raised an eyebrow. “Are you fucking with me?”
“I’m totally serious. I told him I’d give them the measurements and everything.”
“And?”
“And…he gave me five demerits and told me to stop thinking so highly of myself.”
Bones chuckled.
“Yeah, it’s real funny, Bones, thanks.”
“I didn’t even know we could get demerits.”
“Well, keep up the mocking, and I’ll make sure you get some of your very own someday.”
“You should have just shown him.”
“Uh-huh. I’d like to see you pull your pants down in front of a Starfleet officer.”
“I’m serious. He probably would have been so stunned you could have pulled the PADD out of his hands and placed the order yourself.”
Jim grinned and gave him a sideways look. “You’re cute, Bones.”
Bones rolled his eyes. “Look, seriously, Jim,” he said, slipping into his doctor-voice, “If you want, I could probably help you out. Write you a note that says it’s a medical necessity or something.”
“Really? You’d do that for me?”
Sure he would. Dr. Leonard McCoy, helping rumors come true every day.
2.
This was why Bones needed a few drinks in him before he let Jim take the lead. Because when Jim was making decisions, they invariably ended up in a place like this - music pounding, lights strobing, and females of various species grinding up against each other on a stage. Bones stood next to Jim in the writhing crowd and tried not to let anyone touch him.
“SO? WHAT DO YOU THINK?!” Jim yelled into his ear.
Bones winced and yelled back, “WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING UP THERE?” He really had no idea what was going on, what with the assortment of limbs, tentacles and antennae thrashing around onstage. Jim, however, must have had some sort of idea, if the way he was repeatedly adjusting himself was any sign.
“FREAKY HOT, RIGHT?” Jim yelled.
Bones stared intently at the stage. While whatever they were doing up there was doing absolutely nothing for his libido, Jim squirming around next to him was having its own rather disconcerting effect.
“ALRIGHT, LOOK, BONES, I GOTTA GO TAKE CARE OF THIS,” Jim shouted, gesturing at his rather unsubtle erection.
Bones gave him a horrified look and Jim laughed. “DON’T WORRY. I WON’T LET ANYONE TOUCH IT!”
That was somewhat of a relief, given the clientele, but still. “YOU’RE GOING TO LEAVE ME HERE ALONE?” Bones yelled, a hint of desperation in his voice as the mass of sweaty bodies seemed to close in around him.
“I’LL BE BACK IN A SEC.” Bones looked skeptical, and Jim grabbed his arm and leaned in close, though he still had to yell to be heard. “I CAN GET OFF IN TWENTY SECONDS. IT’S A SKILL.” He pulled back, winked at Bones, and disappeared into the crowd, Bones’ shout of “WASH YOUR HANDS!!” lost in the noise.
Bones tried really hard to pay attention to the stage - he wouldn’t have thought someone with four breasts could be that flexible - but his mind followed Jim through the crowd and into the bathroom, and dammit, now he was the one squirming and adjusting himself. He didn’t have time to dwell on it, however, before Jim was back at his side, grinning. “Told ya!” he mouthed.
Bones shook his head in disbelief. Jim grabbed his arm and pulled him close again to shout in his ear. “NOT EVERYONE NEEDS SCENTED CANDLES AND JAZZ MUSIC TO GET THEIR ROCKS OFF, BONES.”
Bones scowled and yanked his arm out of Jim’s grasp as Jim glanced pointedly at the bulge in his jeans. “I’M GOING TO THE BATHROOM,” Bones yelled over the music. He turned around when he was a few steps away. “AND I DON’T NEED ANYTHING!”
3.
Bones let the door slide shut behind him and stood silently for a moment, listening. He’d never been one to enter their dorm room noisily, unlike Jim, who came in like a tornado, tossing shoes and books and other detritus around the room as he made himself at home. This attempt at absolute silence, however, was relatively new. As was deliberately timing his arrival to coincide with Jim’s return from hand-to-hand combat training, a strategy which had apparently worked, as he was rewarded by the sound of the shower running. His heart thudded in his chest, and a nagging voice in the back of his head told him that he was acting like a depraved stalker. He informed the voice that if it had seen Jim Kirk’s cock, it would be doing the same thing, and in the meantime it could kindly fuck off. Bones pulled his desk chair out as quietly as possible and settled into it, his eyes on the bathroom door. His stomach clenched when the door slid open, and he realized that he was starting to sweat. That’s attractive, he thought, taking a deep breath and trying to calm his nerves as he waited for Jim to walk out of the bathroom. He heard Jim step out of the shower and leaned forward, every nerve tensed.
“Bones?” Jim called from the bathroom.
Dammit. He tried to steady his breathing but didn’t say anything.
“Hey, Bones, are you out there?” Bones squeezed his eyes shut. This was so not going as planned. “I’m just asking because, if you’re out there, I’ll put a towel on.” That motherfucking kid was too smart for his own good. “I mean, I wouldn’t want you to see anything you didn’t want to see.”
Bones could totally picture him, leaning his hip against the inside wall, smirking, knowing exactly the effect he was having on Bones by just existing; naked, water dripping into his clear blue eyes, down his chest, through a sparse trail of hair and over his. . . .“I’m gonna guess by the sound of that stifled moan that you’re out there. I’m putting a towel on.” Fuck.
Bones pulled his chair around and jammed his legs and growing erection underneath the desk. Jim walked out, a towel wrapped securely around his waist, to find Bones scowling furiously at the desktop. “Oh hey, Bones! I didn’t know you were here!” he said cheerfully, resting his ass against the edge of the desk. Bones didn’t look at him. Jim leaned down close and Bones could feel warm breath brush against his ear. “Couple suggestions for ya. Number one, headphones.”
“What?” Bones asked without turning his head, wanting Jim to stay close.
“So you can pretend you didn’t hear me. Number two, a PADD, so you can pretend you were actually doing something at your desk.”
Bones growled. “I don’t know what you think you’re playing at, Jim.”
He could practically feel Jim’s smile. “I think you do. And number three…” Jim pushed off the desk and took a few steps away.
Bones clenched his hands on his lap. “Number three?” he asked weakly.
“Number three,” said Jim from close behind him, leaning over the back of his chair, “if you really want another chance to get another look at my massive cock….”
Bones swallowed audibly.
“You could schedule me for a physical,” Jim said in a normal voice, walking away, breaking the spell. “I’m due for one before my space jump next month. Or, ya know, I could see if Dr. M’Benga can do it.”
“M’Benga wishes,” Bones grumbled. He was pretty sure there was something in Starfleet Regulations that prohibited a medical officer from using his position to fulfill a desire to get a peek at his roommate’s substantial equipment. Maybe not in so many words. And why the fuck was he even thinking about this?!
He heard the closet door close as Jim finished dressing behind him.
“Alright, Bones, I’m off to the library. Tomorrow afternoon, same time, same place, same sexual frustration?”
Bones curled his lip by way of an answer and refused to look up from his desk until Jim was heading out the door. Damn, his ass did look amazing in those jeans.
4.
Bones came awake slowly in the darkness to the sound of muffled grunts coming from Jim’s bed. For a minute he thought Jim had a girl over, a blatant violation of their roommate contract (which Jim seemed to have thus far treated as more of a “to do” list). Then he remembered that Jim hadn’t even gone out tonight, which meant that he was alone, which meant that…well, fuck, apparently it meant that Bones was thinking about Jim’s cock again. Bones felt a jolt in his groin as his own dick perked up at the realization. He turned onto his stomach as quietly as possible, pressing his erection into the mattress and his face into the pillow. He wondered if Jim would be too immersed in his own self-gratification to notice if Bones were to start humping his mattress into oblivion. His mind helpfully supplied five cutting remarks that Jim would probably come up with if he got caught, and he decided it wasn’t worth the risk. He vowed to try to wait until Jim finished and fell back to sleep. Speaking of which, Jim had been going at it for a good five minutes now and Bones was beginning to get a little uncomfortable in more ways than one. Maybe he should say something? No, that was a terrible idea. Although, if their positions were reversed, he was sure Jim wouldn’t hesitate. Bones grinned into his pillow at the idea of giving Jim a taste of his own medicine. He rolled onto his side.
"Just to let you know, Jim, that’s been going on for way longer than twenty seconds."
He heard a muffled whimper and a choking sound. "Jesus Christ, Bones," Jim whispered across the room. "What are you doing, listening to me? Pervert."
"You woke me up."
"And you couldn't just put a pillow over your head or something and save us both the embarrassment?"
"Save you the embarrassment, maybe."
"Yeah, right. Anyway, I have nothing to be embarrassed about. It's normal."
"I think we both know there's nothing normal about that beast."
"Shh. Don't call the captain a beast."
"Well I'm sure as hell not calling it the captain."
“Give the captain some respect.”
“Give your roommate some respect.”
“Hey, at least I waited until you were asleep, didn’t I?”
“Well, I’m awake now, so quit it.”
“What the hell am I supposed to do?! I can’t just go to sleep like this!”
“I don’t know, I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”
They lay in silence for a moment.
“Hey Bones.”
“What?”
“Wanna come give me a hand over here?”
“Shut up, Jim.”
“I’m serious. Sometimes two hands just won’t do it for me.”
“Good god, Jim, I do not want to hear about the mechanics.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. Now shut up.”
“You’re not the least bit curious?”
Yes, he was. “No, I’m not.”
Jim was blissfully silent for another moment.
“Hey Bones?”
“What?” Bones growled.
“Wanna put on some jazz?”
Bones threw his pillow across the room.
Jim stood up, wrapped his blanket around his waist, and walked over, dumping the pillow back on Bones.
“Where are you going?”
“To take a cold shower, where do you think?” Jim leaned down to open Bones’ bedside cabinet.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Jim pulled out a candle, put it on the bedside table, and touched a lighter to the wick. The wavering flame failed to illuminate anything beyond Jim’s grin and the sparkle in his eyes. “I have a feeling you might need this,” Jim said with a wink. He turned around at the door of the bathroom. “You’ve got ten minutes.”
Bones propped himself up on an elbow. “If that’s Warm Vanilla Sugar,” he said, peering at the candle, “I’ll only need five.”
5.
McCoy tried to exude confidence and professionalism as he welcomed Dr. Calder and a distinguished looking Starfleet Officer into his tiny office. Calder had asked him to take the lead in planning the Academy’s Annual Medical Conference, and this was their chance to secure a prominent figure as their keynote speaker. McCoy was feeling the pressure and, as he gestured for the gentlemen to take their seats, already felt like he was failing miserably. He should have had some witty opening anecdote prepared, goddammit, something to ease the tension and loosen them up a bit. Hell, Jim probably would have charmed the pants off of them by now, and oh great, that was just what he needed, the words Jim and pants appearing in his head as he tried to keep it professional.
And speak of the motherfucking devil, as if drawn to Bones’ salacious thoughts like a bee to a flower, Jim Kirk appeared in the doorway, smirking at him from behind the seated officers. Bones hoped against hope that Jim would see that he was busy and move on, but he might as well have hoped that a unicorn would come prancing down the hall, and goddammit, now he was thinking about Jim’s dick again! Jim put a finger to his lips, crossed his arms, and leaned against the side of the open doorway. Yeah, he planned to stay for awhile.
Okay, focus. Focus on the captain. Oh fuck.
“Dr. McCoy,” Dr. Calder began, “I believe you’ve met the Captain?”
Jim looked directly at Bones, winked, and mouthed “The captain?!”
“Actually, I haven’t had the pleasure.” Oh, this was going to be hell. He didn’t even need to look up to imagine Jim’s shit-eating grin. “Nice to finally meet you, Captain Hilyard.”
“McCoy, you’re aware of the captain’s accomplishments and his contributions to the field of xenobiology.” Bones cursed the existence of peripheral vision as he saw Jim give his crotch a thumbs-up. “It’s because of the captain that we have such a thorough understanding of a number of species.” Jim did a little bow, and Bones wondered if it would be unprofessional to pull out his flask in the middle of a meeting. And was it just him, or was Calder applying a particular emphasis whenever he said the word captain. “The Academy has requested that we give the entire class of incoming cadets a chance to be introduced to the captain.” Jim’s mouth dropped open in silent laughter. Bones considered skipping the flask and going straight for a hypo.
“The, uh, the entire class?” Bones managed to respond. He tugged at his collar, realizing that he’d broken into a full-on sweat.
“Of course!”
“Right, right. Um, yeah, that sounds great. The more people that get a chance to, uh, see the captain in person, the better.” He braved a glare at Jim, who had a clamped a hand over his mouth and appeared to be turning purple in the attempt to stifle his laughter.
“It isn’t easy being captain,” Hilyard continued. “So many people after you to appear at various ceremonies and functions.” Jim furrowed his eyebrows and nodded seriously. “However, I’d love to speak to your cadets during the morning session if that would be alright.”
“The morning schedule’s getting pretty full,” Calder responded. “It’ll be tight, but I think we can squeeze the captain in, don’t you McCoy?” Bones wondered for a moment whether his decommissioning would be the result of bursting into hysterical laughter or breaking down into sobs. He managed to nod weakly, and tried to regain some composure as Calder and Hilyard settled the schedule.
“You should take some time to get to know the captain, McCoy,” said Calder, once Captain Hilyard had left, giving Jim a little salute on the way out. “I think it would be worth your while.”
“You think?”
“Yes, not to mention it could be very beneficial to your social and professional status. The captain has friends in high places.”
Hell, he was already a goner, he might as well grab the bull by the horns, so to speak. “Well Dr. Calder, if the captain is interested in getting to know me better, I would certainly enjoy the opportunity.” Jim’s eyes widened a little.
“Are you feeling alright, Dr. McCoy? You look a little flushed.”
“Do I? Sorry, I guess…”
“It’s okay. We all get a little nervous when someone of the captain’s reputation shows interest in our work.”
“Right.”
“Just remember, McCoy. It’s your job to keep the captain happy.” Jesus Christ, did Jim script this freaking thing?
“I’ll do my best. If that’s all…?”
“Yes of course, goodbye Dr. McCoy,” and with that he turned and left. Bones offered a silent prayer that he hadn’t needed to stand up from the boner-concealing safety of his desk.
Calder nodded at Jim, who had amazingly been able to compose himself, and headed out the door. As soon as he was gone, Jim stepped in and the door slid closed.
Bones collapsed onto his desk with his head on his arms. Jim took a step closer. “Jim, I swear to god, if you take one more step, I am going to leap over this desk and strangle you. As I’ve been fantasizing for the last half hour.”
“Really, Bones?” Jim asked, taking that other step. “Is that what you’ve been fantasizing about for the past half hour?”
“What are you even doing here, Jim?”
“I was here for my physical with Dr. M’Benga. You should know, since you scheduled it, jerk.”
He was up against the desk when Bones looked up wearily. “And this is what? Your revenge? Torturing me? Do you know how close I came to completely losing it there?”
“I don’t know,” Jim said with a smile. “I thought you handled it pretty well.” He leaned forward, his palms on the desk, and lowered his voice. “I think you really made an impression on the captain.”
“Jim….” Bones said warningly. Jim continued, his voice low, seductive.
“Why, I think the captain might even be excited to meet with you…one-on-one.”
“Jim…” This time his voice was strained. He took a deep breath and ground out, “If I never see another captain again in my life, it will be too soon.”
“Oh, I highly doubt that, Bones.” Jim pressed up against the edge of the desk. Bones tried to fight it, but he couldn’t stop himself from glancing up. The line of Jim’s massive cock strained against his still-regulation uniform pants. Bones found it difficult to care that he was staring.
Jim reached out and brushed a finger against the corner of his lips, and Bones jerked his head away from the touch.
“Sorry,” Jim said, “you had a little drool there.”
Cocky motherfucker. “Do you know why I scheduled your physical with Dr. M’Benga?”
“Because you’re a stubborn bastard who refuses to take what he wants when it’s being offered?”
“No, because you annoy the shit out of me. Now get out of my office.”
“Fine. Just give me twenty seconds,” Jim said, reaching for his fly.
“GET OUT!”
+1.
Bones found Jim sitting at the deserted bar in the middle of the afternoon, looking dejectedly at a half-empty bottle of beer.
“Hey Jim, why so glum? Huge cock got ya down?”
“That’s not funny.”
“Hey, I thought it was my job to be surly. Seriously, what’s going on?”
“Bones, you’re my friend, right?”
Bones took a swig of Jim’s beer and nodded. “’Course.”
“What are you thinking about right now?”
“I’m wondering how many drinks I’m gonna have to buy you before you suggest that we go do something ludicrous so I know you’re feeling better.”
Jim looked at him with eyebrows raised. “So…you’re not thinking about my cock?”
“Ah, well, now I am.”
Jim ran his fingers up the neck of his beer bottle. Bones’ mouth suddenly felt very dry. He pulled the bottle away and took another swig. “But so’s half the campus at any given point in time, so what’s your point?” he continued.
“That is my point! Do you know how many rumors there are going around about my cock?”
Bones raised an eyebrow. “I have an idea.”
“Apparently I’ve been injected with some sort of alien DNA, did you know that?”
“Yep. Got a couple requests for it, actually. I could make some damn good money if I could just locate a well-endowed alien race. Then, of course, there’s the one about how your dick is famous in Russia.”
Jim smiled and blushed. “Yeah, ummm…that one may not necessarily be a rumor.”
Bones narrowed his eyes. “Shut up.”
“Look, there was a time in my life when I had to find creative ways to make some money. You know, I’ve been told that the Russians actually invented porn.”
“So…is there a video?”
“You wish.”
They were silent for a moment, then Jim laughed. “Oh, and apparently someone started telling people that there’s some planet where my cock is-”
“Worshipped as a god?” Bones supplied helpfully.
“Yeah,” said Jim, laughing, and then his laughter trailed off as he saw the blush rising to Bones’s face. “Oh Bones. You didn’t.”
Bones raised the bottle. “Sorry Jim. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, and all that.”
Jim shook his head. “You fucker.”
“Oh come on! I thought you’d like that one!”
“Yeah, I guess. I just wish sometimes that people would see past that, ya know. Maybe notice how fucking smart I am instead.”
“Or how modest.”
“Yeah, exactly.” Jim ran a hand over his eyes. To be honest, the kid looked pretty dejected. McCoy wondered if it really was getting to him. He put a hand on Jim’s shoulder.
“Jim, you are more than just your ridiculously oversized genitalia.”
“And you don’t help things, either.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’re just as bad as the rest of them!” He looked up at Bones, catching his eye. “Obsessed with my cock? Ring a bell?”
Bones bit his lip. It was true, of course, and Jim knew it. But Bones wondered if Jim really knew. “Jim, it’s not like tha-“
“Yeah, it is.” Jim sounded serious now, bordering on mad. “Sometimes I feel like that’s all I am to you, a sexually fascinating medical abnormality.”
Bones raised his eyebrows. “Jim. There are so many things wrong with that assumption.”
“No, you know what, I bet that’s the only reason you agreed to room with me.” Wow, Jim sounded really pissed. He slammed his hands down on the bar. “Hell, I bet it’s the only reason we’re even friends. You saw my massive shlong and you were like, ‘hell, I’d put up with anyone to catch another glimpse of that!’” His brow was furrowed and he was staring intently at the bar. A little too intently.
Bones edged a little further into Jim's personal space. "Are you fucking with me, Jim? You don’t really think that all I care about is your admittedly gargantuan cock, do you? You’re fucking with me, right?"
Jim's mouth quirked up in a half-smile. "Maybe a little."
“I knew it,” he said, his voice low. “Brat.”
Jim looked up and caught his gaze, their faces only inches apart. Bones was the first to look away.
“Jim,” he said, looking at the floor. “Do you, uh…do you wanna get out of here, maybe go back to the room?”
“No.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Bones felt Jim’s lips brush against the corner of his mouth and his breath caught in his throat. He looked at Jim in surprise and Jim looked back, a challenge in his eyes.
A second passed before Bones regained the ability to speak, eloquently as always. “The hell?”
He felt Jim’s hand on his hip, and Jim leaned in to press a warm, dry kiss to his cheek.
“You want to do this right here?” Bones asked, his voice rough.
“You want to wait?”
“Waited long enough,” Bones growled, sliding his hand into Jim’s hair and pulling him in for a real kiss. He tried to keep his desperation in check, tried to keep from pouring two entire years of unrequited lust into that first kiss, but he could feel himself losing control. He felt Jim’s hand clutch at the back of his t-shirt as their tongues slid together, a rough and reckless kiss that had Bones reeling.
Some part of his mind tried to analyze the situation, informing him that he was making out with Jim Kirk in a fucking bar, for chrissakes, but the feeling of Jim’s palm against his erection quickly shut down any and all rational thought.
"You want my cock, Bones?"
"I don’t give a fuck about your cock, Jim," Bones said, pressing his lips and tongue against the warm, salty skin of Jim’s neck. He pulled back to take a breath and to look Jim in the eye. “I want you.”
“Well, it is kind of a big part of me you know,” Jim said, and to prove it he pulled Bones closer until he could feel Jim’s length pressing insistently against him. Bones gasped into Jim’s neck, and squeezed him tighter to stop himself from shaking.
"So, you really don't care about my cock?"
"I care a little about your cock," Bones conceded, panting, as he felt Jim grind slowly against him.
"I think that's the only time anyone's ever said the word 'little' in relation to my cock," Jim breathed, and Bones could tell that Jim was almost as far gone as he was.
"I…oh god…I don’t think it will never happen again. Jesus, Jim, we’ve gotta get out of here, or I’m going to embarrass myself."
“Okay, let’s go,” Jim said, pulling back slightly, his breathing heavy. “Anyway, I think it’s time that you got a personal introduction to mmmmmmmmffff-“ Bones had slapped a hand over Jim’s mouth.
“Jim, I swear to god,” Bones growled. “If you say ‘the captain’, I’m going to-“
Jim raised an expectant eyebrow and, goddamn, he was beautiful. Bones pulled his hand away and covered Jim’s lips with his own, plunging his tongue eagerly into Jim’s mouth and kissing him until he thought they might both pass out.
“Not much of a threat, Bones,” Jim managed when he finally caught his breath. “Doesn’t matter though,” he said, taking Bones’ face in his hands, pulling them together clumsily until their foreheads touched. “It’s yours now, Bones,” he whispered. “And you can call it whatever you want.”
Next! Five Things Bones Did with Jim Kirk’s Massive Cock, and One Thing He Really Wanted to Do (He Swears)