1 step forward, 2 steps back...

[theoldanarchist]

Well, I honestly thought that Bob understood my situation, and was going to wait about the rent, but he put the check through, which means I am now overdrawn at the bank.  If I do not do something soon, I am going to lose that apartment---which I have regarded as an almost foregone conclusion from the time I moved in---I have never believed that

Comments

[theoldanarchist]

I lived with my parents until about 4 months ago, Mike, and (as Kelly can tell you) it was a strain. Besides that, my parents now live in Bloomington, Indiana, with my older sister and her two children---so, this is not an option. I appreciate the thought, but it just cannot be.

[theoldanarchist]

Well, Kelly doesn't seem to talk to much of anyone anymore, from what I've heard...

[splodgenoodles]

Regardless of your personal preferences right now, I'll wager that your friends and family would rather have you leaning on them for help than be attending your funeral.

If you off yourself, will Kelly Marie be happy? Will people at your funeral say 'thank god he's gone'? Or will they be hurt and unhappy and confused?

____________

A curious thing about suicide is that it is contagious. You do it, and you make it more likely that other people connected to you will attempt to do it at some stage in the future. Your girlfriend perhaps. Your parents, nephews, nieces, friends. I can't find my references for this - they're in that filing cabinet somewhere *points to overloaded filing cabinet*, but I'm referring to some heavy duty research that's been done.

My point being that regardless of whether you'd be dead than be you, if you want to give more than you take, stay alive. It's important for everyone that you do, even if you don't feel like it right now.

Cheers.

[chevrefeuilles]

Regardless of your personal preferences right now, I'll wager that your friends and family would rather have you leaning on them for help than be attending your funeral.

Amen to that.

Courage, Charles.

[theoldanarchist]

I am trying, Laurie, but the trouble just won't let up. I feel slightly better today than I did when I wrote the above words, but just slightly.

[theoldanarchist]

I suppose you are correct, and in a moment of lucidity, I can agree. However, lucidity is precisely what I am lacking most of the time. Rather, it is the phenomenon of "seeing through a glass darkly," with everything distorted or simply impossible to see at all. I understand what you are saying, but it is really difficult to shake this feeling.

[theoldanarchist]

Never without reason. It helps to have one.

Hang in there

[anonymous]

I know what it's like to be low in rent, overdrawn in your bank account, and unemployed. I'm mostly in the same position right now myself. Still, my faith keeps me going and I know you have something you hold on to as well. Money, in the end, is just a material object, but friends, family, and your life are precious. Hang in there.
(in case you were wondering, this is Aaron from Tribe. I went to your blog through your profile. I don't have a livejournal ID).

Re: Hang in there

[theoldanarchist]

I was wondering, yes. And, thanks, Aaron. The thought's appreciated.

Funny...

[theoldanarchist]

Just remember Tom Regan taking the hits and not packing it in.

It is really strange and funny to me that both you and John (desierto) quoted or made reference to Miller's Crossing. What is it about that film?! Maybe we should make up t-shirts that say, "WWTRD? What would Tom Regan Do?" It would be great to wear those out, and see how many people would know what the hell we are talking about!

Re: Funny...

[theoldanarchist]

Yep, that is a brilliant idea! When do we get started?