Comments | theoffice_fic: Bad First Day (Toby Flenderson) PG

phil_urich in theoffice_fic

Bad First Day (Toby Flenderson) PG

Feb 15, 2009 21:25

Title:Bad First Day
Author:phil_urich
Pairing/Character: Toby
Rating:PG
Summary:Toby's welcoming on his first day at the Scranton Branch
Spoilers: none

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rating: pg, author: phil_urich, character: toby

Comments 9

imissbradandjen February 16 2009, 21:38:35 UTC

Oh, Toby. You have no idea what's in store...

Great job! The voices of the characters all rang true to me. XD

phil_urich February 17 2009, 02:55:36 UTC

Thank you! I was kind of nervous about the voices, especially Michael's. Glad you thought it was true to his character.

foodygoody February 16 2009, 22:54:04 UTC

Very sweet. Great job.

Love that Kelly doesn't think he's a loser.

phil_urich February 17 2009, 02:56:14 UTC

Thank you, I'm hoping to build a series from this. I have a second one written, but I want to try and write a few more before I continue on with it. Glad you liked it!

elokkin February 22 2009, 04:22:41 UTC

Part of me had given up on Office fic in general... And that part was wrong. Because this is all kinds of awesome!

"...with a pleasant smile despite the sense of foreboding he was getting from the situation." Oh, that's SO Toby to a tee. No proper sense as to when to cut and run, masked with a thin venerr of geniality. Liked the painful detail that his last company hated him, too. Poor Toby.

Michael was pitch perfect in his vitrolic spewing of slightly confused hatred. It's funny... I hate when he's mean to Toby in general, but that's usually when he's the most brilliant. Paradoxal.

Orange soda?! First of all... It's nearly ridiculous, the amount of orange soda I drink. Second... BONDING WITH KELLY? Oh, the awesomess! This totally made my evening brighter! I just never see Toby fics anymore, and with K/T subtext? It's like Christmas.

You've got some grammar mistakes here and there, though. Comma usage, mostly.

phil_urich February 22 2009, 13:53:24 UTC

Thank you! I always feel like Toby's choices are a rock or a hard place, its very rarely a winning situation for him. Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for pointing out the grammar mistakes. I'll try to have a beta read over the next one I'm doing.

elokkin February 22 2009, 22:46:50 UTC

That's exactly how I feel about Toby! He embodies "rock and a hard place."

If you need a beta, I could offer my humble services...?

phil_urich February 27 2009, 03:11:41 UTC

I usually let foodygoody look over it, but could I use you as a backup? Thanks for offering :)

Thread 5