i feel non-existent, not in place, devoured by chaos... whilst strewn calmly across every room i walk in. something inside of me has died.

thinking and filling up on regrets, enamored with chilly jaw shivers i saw my own shadow down there. almost puzzled i glance below and to the right another shadow. exact movements were shared. we drank from the same toasty cup. put this into perspective. future? positivity? that metaphor jumped out almost too sudden for my own comfort. shakes from ( Read more... )

sober, full blown anxiety shakes. not able to focus on a book, wicked smell of nicotine in my hair shakes. sucked in time warps and unable to reach any calming common senses. begging, always begging to drift. science of sleep and dark side of the moon posted above my bed swimming around in the head where it crashed lastnight. feelings of others ( Read more... )

unable to sleep at night riding into the morning meaning nothing but yoga and the yearn for a water filter heightens when the sun rises and i crave coffee like no other. slightly able to breathe now and muscles not aching nor half as stiff, calm - obedient. the ability to, to, to, ____ the day. a loss of thought. predict! the ability to predict the ( Read more... )

fingers foldmelt into eachother delivering naps when beads of your soggy hair drip onto warm freckled shoulders you doze and i am left awake to take in the seconds to which i fall asleep in some nights with the loss of your presence i'll giggle short and sweet at lifes tiniest conveniences the smell seeps into my own skin not wanting to bathe to ( Read more... )

anxious enough to forgive sleep and pale in the face. first night of my life that i cannot wait for the moon to dissapear. again, sobriety being a punch in the face.

Sobriety has become awkward for me. Creativity has come to a complete halt. Switching between wanting to be surrounded by the masses and complete solidarity. I've lost my fucking mind. The lungs cannot and will not stand for this much longer, I am afraid.

I AM IN MAINE! and so much has been done.

intelligence raised beyond language, actions speak louder than words. exploited as a child yet still fully conscious of the what and why. a lonely fucking smoke outside is all it takes to realize what life has gathered and it's not so becoming of me.

i sat up here with a dusty box of pictures. my eyes became so itchy with stilled memories that i went to the sink and rinsed them out until they resembled a ruby-colored road map. i walked downstairs and found out that they just don't keep the porch light on anymore. as i stood there i realized that the trees knew more history than me. and with ( Read more... )