The Lie Behind the Postcard - If only I
Alma Jr. didn’t take well that Ennis was going to move to Childress, Texas, and made a scene, but after talking to her father she decided to let him go. To celebrate his leaving they went to El Durango. There they had an unpleasant incident: one man prevented them from entering the restaurant. He insulted Ennis and Alma hit him with a board. The man pulled his gun on Alma and called the sheriff.
“What the fuck is going on here, Mac? Put that fucking gun down!” the Sheriff yelled.
“Rob, this bitch hit me with a plank, she is the daughter of the queer!” Mac said.
“Is that so? Ennis Del Mar, you are under arrest for improper behavior on the street!” the sheriff said and went straight to Ennis.
Ennis raised his eyebrows and look straight into the Sheriff’s eyes. He didn’t understand why they were going to arrest him. He was not the one armed, and what was that ‘improper behavior in the street’ thing all about? “What did ya just say?” Ennis asked the Sheriff.
“What you’ve just heard, Ennis Del Mar. You are under arrest for improper behavior! I won’t believe this lady hit Mac! I’m sure it was you who did it!” the Sheriff answered moving his hands to his belt.
“No, Rob! It was the bitch who hit me!” Mac yelled to the Sheriff who nodded, but lifted his eyes up to the sky trying to figure out what to do.
“Afte’ all, Ennis, I thought you won’t return here! Ya’ know, since we all now know that you are a q… I mean a special man with special needs,” the sheriff laughed as he succeeded in putting some emphasis on “special man with special needs”. He neared Ennis, looking him up and down to provoke him. He was looking for an excuse to arrest him. But Ennis stood quiet and calm, he didn’t say a word even though he was boiling inside.
“We wanted to celebrate his new job in Texas!” Kurt said, looking straight at the Sheriff. “Rob, ya know this was an accident! Mac was the one who provoked Alma. He insulted her father and threatened us with a gun!” he added. The sheriff put on his black glasses and gave Mac an angry look.
“Ya’ all can go! But remember, Ennis isn’t welcome here!” he added. “Now, Mac, you are coming with me! We are going to the hospital and then we’ll call mom and tell he you fell down the stairs!” he said to Mac. “Ya can’t do this to me, brother! They insulted me! That dirty queer insulted me!” Mac added, but the sheriff just push him by his arm, got him into his car, and they left the place.
“Well, it could’ve been worse!” Ennis said to his daughter who didn’t say a word. She perfectly understood that this was all her fault. They could have taken Ennis to jail, but something made the Sheriff give up the idea.
“Daddy, I don’t know what to say! It’s all my fault,” Alma Junior said looking at the floor. She was ashamed of her actions now. She acted with such level of immaturity that she knew neither her son nor her daughter would behave like that.
They entered the restaurant and they had the dinner they planned. They spent a pleasant time there having games and jokes. Ennis was happy at that moment. “Ya know, I should leave Riverton more often,” he said laughing. They went home, Ennis said good bye to them. He was happy.
He entered his trailer, looked at his closet, and he had a series of mental images of Jack as he had first seen him on Brokeback Mountain. He went to the closet, lifted the shirts off the nail shudder and placed them on the bed next to him. He unbuttoned Jack’s shirt and took off his own one. “Jack, I may sound crazy takin’ to a shirt but this is the only thing left of ya!” he said, tears in his eyes.
“Ya always wished to live with me! And I always refused! I wish I had never rejected your offers,” he cried. Ennis held the shirts like he was hugging the real Jack and after a while he fell asleep. Jack appeared in his dream as he had first seen him in 1963, talking about getting up off his pockets and into the control zone, telling him about rodeo and how fun it was. He dreamed about the first time they had sex, his first time ever, he remembered that he had been virgin before he met Jack. He woke up the next morning with the old scence of joy and noticed that once again his sheets were wet.
Ennis washed his sheets and took a bath. He was so immersed in his dream that he felt like someone was touching his body. Under the water he wrang it out again thinking about Jack Twist. When he got dressed, he went to his closet and started packing his things. He thought he was leaving Riverton for good but as much as he tried he couldn’t help thinking about his little Jenny who now hated him more than anyone in the world.
Ennis finished all his packing except for the shirts. He was still thinking of how to pack them. He went out and started smoking, cars passing next to him. Ennis was in trance, with every car he saw he was falling in the memories of his past. He crushed the cigarette under his boot and went to fetch some beer from his fridge. Ennis sat down outside and watched the beautiful evening that was falling down with its orange and yellow colors covering the earth like a blanket. He smiled as he had never seen such a wonderful picture.
“I wish I could take pictures,” he thought, but since he was always broke the idea of buying a camera never crossed his mind. The night was rising as the evening was leaving the scene; he saw the first star and he made a wish he thought would never come true.
Jack, in the other hand, was now in Lightning Flat and he was going to his house. He crossed through a desolate country past a dozen abandoned ranches distributed over the plane at eight- and ten-mile intervals houses. His heart almost stopped when he saw that old mailbox with John C. Twist’s name on it.
Lureen didn’t go to Jack’s house, she went straight to the family plot. She was trying to find a way to make the tombstone disappear. “Shit, doors closed,” she said angrily. There was no other choice than jumping over the wall.
Lureen walked between the tombstones and watched the family of Jack. She was scared even though it was 11:00 a.m., she didn’t like the idea of being in a graveyard. She found Mr. and Mrs. Twists’ tombstones, but there was no sign of Jack’s tombstone. She walked around the place looking for his tombstone but nothing was found. She thought she was going crazy. She spent there 1 hour and there was no grave. There was no sign that Jack’s fake ashes were buried there. “If ya’ r’looking for his grave, won’t find it here,” a voice said. Lureen got pale, there was someone in there. She look back and she saw a brown haired man with dark eyes next to her. “Who are ya’?” were the only words that came through her mouth. “I’m Edward Finley, if ya’re lookin’ for Jack’s grave his ashes were spread on Brokeback as he wished. My Aunt asked me before dying to took them from the grave and spread them on Brokeback,” the man said to her.
Lureen couldn’t suppress the laugh. She was frustrated: “I drove 18 fucking hours and ya’re telling me his ashes were spread on Brokeback! That is just so…so...” she started crying; she couldn’t believe her luck. “You said she was yer aunt, right? Did ya’ know Jack?” she ask nervously.
“No, I’d never met my cousin Jack. I just came here when my Aunt died, she was the last Twist and who are ya?” the man asked Lureen. She definitely was not from there, none of the people there could afford so fine clothes and she didn’t have the accent. She sounded more from the south to him.
“Ehmm, I’m Lureen Twist! I was his wife,” she said to the man. “Well, you can stay if you want, I’ll be goin’ now. I have a long trip! I’ll be going back to Utah!” the man said and after a while he added “Next time you come use the door; it could like it’s closed but it’s open.
Meanwhile, Jack arrived to his house and it was completely disastrous. He could say it was falling apart. Without his father or his mother his house looked so empty. He opened the door with the keys and entered the house. To his surprise, all his furniture was there, nothing was missing. He remembered that after his accident his dad died, then about a year later during his 10 months of physical therapy Lureen told him that his mother died and all the things in the house were given to charity.
“All the things?” he asked her with his eyes lost in the space.
“Jack, you don’t live there any longer, the reason we kept it was because we could go there and fix it and use it at vacations but after that, there is nothing important or valuable there, except for some pictures,” she said.
“If my furniture is here and everything else is then…”Jack told himself and started running upstairs. He went to his room, straight to his closet but there was nothing. They disappeared.
“Jesus, no! Ennis, I lost you again!” he cried. “I can hardly stand that you are not here! Son of bitch, why did you have to die, Ennis, why?” he yelled. “Son of a bitch, why did you have to die, Jack Fucking Twist?” Ennis cried in his bed lying next to the shirts. “The truth is sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it,” both said at the same time without knowing that they were so far from each other and at the same time so close.