Trusting You to Catch Me - Chapter Twenty-Five

[thelastpen]

Title: Trusting You to Catch Me
Author: Sio & Maura
Rating: NC-17
Length: 151,371
Spoilers: Everything up to On My Way and then deviating from there with minor Big Brother references.
Pairing: Santana/Quinn, Brittany/Santana/Quinn/Rachel friendship, mentions of Brittany/Santana, some Finn/Rachel (not positive)
Summary: Following her accident, Quinn experiences the gamut of emotion: denial to acceptance to healing and everything in between. But through it all are her friends patiently helping her with caring and friendship and maybe more.
Warnings (highlight to read): eating disorders, severe accident recovery, graphic sex, verbal abuse, minor violence, family issues, cheating, body image issues

Chapter 25

Four Years Later

Daniella brought the tray of marinated portabella caps out to where Santana was carefully poking at the charcoal grill. "You sure you want to stay here and cook, Tana? You know Quinn and Rachel's trains will be coming soon. I'm sure I can handle the burning food until you get back," she teased.

"Tana!" Alejandra waved at her from where she was carefully tapping the bucket she was building a sandcastle with. "When is Rachie and Quinn coming?"

"Nah, I think they're gonna drop their stuff off at home and just come here," she replied as she took a drink from her water. "I was told they could get a cab on their own." She rolled her eyes before looking to her sister. "Soon, Allie."

"Cool! Think Rachie will play with me?" Alejandra asked leaving her castle to come over and hug her sister.

"Allie, careful not to get sand in the food." Daniella warned, heading back over to the cooler to pull out the corn they'd prepped earlier.

"Most likely," Santana said as she hugged her back. "You'll let me and Q play too, right?"

"Yeah, but I get first dibs on Rachie. You and Quinn always stop for kisses." She wrinkled up her nose. "Icky. Can I have cheese on my mushroom?"

"If you'd like, we're making burgers for Q and your mom too, you know," she pointed out as she checked the grill again.

"So? You're having mushrooms." Alejandra shrugged, leaning up to look at the grill.

"I am having them." She smiled down at her, ruffling her hair. "We can cook them when Rachel and Q come but let's roast the corn now, okay?" "I wanna have what you're having." She nodded firmly. Daniella held the container for Santana to put the corn on the grill as she reached down to ruffle her youngest's hair. "You can have a mushroom burger too, little A, don't worry. Hey is that Rachel and Quinn?" she asked, pointing at the two young women waving at them as they walked down to the beach from the parking area carrying cloth bags.

Santana beamed as she saw her girlfriend in a yellow sundress walking across the sand with Rachel. She placed the last corn on the grill and headed over to Quinn and picked her up. "Hi, beautiful."

Quinn laughed, her hands resting on Santana's shoulders. "Hi, baby. Miss me? Happy it's summer?" She leaned down to kiss her. "I wish I could have come home with you after graduation."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I'm right here you know," she pointed out, but she was having trouble hiding her smirk.

"What up, shorty?" Santana called over before kissing Quinn again. "I'm so happy your home."

"Geez, I get the picture." Rachel laughed, heading over to where Daniella and Alejandra were managing the grill. "I'm gonna go say hi to people who appreciate having a star around."

Quinn slid down in Santana's embrace and leaned against her, blushing when she realized her girlfriend's hands had found a home on her ass. "San," she chided gently, unable to keep the smile off her face. She licked her lips, "I've got good news."

"What is it?" she asked as she walked with Quinn to the picnic table and sat her down before standing between her legs.

She watched her hands fiddling with the front of Santana's shirt with a shy smile. "I got in."

The smaller woman's eyes lit up, "You... you did??"

"I did." She nodded happily. "Starting next fall semester, you're talking to the newest member of the Brown University Department of Education's Graduate Program working on my Master of Arts in Teaching."

"I'm so proud of you," she exclaimed as she gathered her up in her arms.

Quinn laughed, letting Santana pull her up. "So I get to move in with you, right?"

"Yes, please." She smiled and kissed Quinn's shoulder.

"Good," she smiled up at Santana, hugging her, "cause I'm gonna need someone to complain about the little brats who are just like we were when I'm doing my internship. Where are we gonna live anyway, babe?"

"Are you okay moving back into the basement apartment with me?" she asked as they tangled their fingers together. "So we can save money?"

"Are you okay with not having your little monkey able to sneak into your bed for cuddles all the time?" Quinn teased back.

"You know very well that she'll be doing that to us on the weekends when she lets herself into the apartment through the back door." Santana laughed.

"Guess that means we better make sure we're clothed at night." She smirked, her hands resting on Santana's hips. "A shame really."

"Only on Sunday mornings. I'll put a child embargo on the rest of the week so I can have you naked in our bed."

"I still need my chair sometimes," she warned softly. She'd gotten a lot better, usually going with just a cane for support or with nothing at all for days or sometimes even weeks at a time, but the damage had been done. "I'm never going to... be completely free of it, San. Is that okay?"

"You know that doesn't bother me, Quinn," Santana said as she looked into the blonde's eyes. "Cane, chair or me having to get a backpack and put you in it if you can't walk... I don't care. I just am happy you are here, finally for good."

Quinn laughed. "Babe, I'd crush you if you tried to carry me around in a backpack. I know you're amazingly strong, but I'm fine in a chair as long as I've got you to help me." She leaned up and kissed her. But I'm home for good. Rachel helped me get the last of my stuff down in the apartment before we caught a cab over. We're helping her move into her new place in New York next week still, right? She promised pizza. Non-vegan pizza. With real bacon even!" Her brows waggled as she grinned.

"Holy fuck, real pizza? That's quite the agreement you have there." She laughed before nuzzling Quinn's neck. "And yes, as long as we get pizza out the deal we can help short stack move."

"Hooray," she cheered softly, grinning at Santana. "I love you, you know. I even love this ridiculous family that somehow has Rachel Berry as part of it. Speaking of... I heard she's got a guy."

"I heard that too, I yelled at her for ignoring when I called the other night." Santana laughed softly. "But it turns out she was fucking so I didn't really want her to answer the phone."

"Oh God, ew." Quinn stuck her tongue out, looking grossed out. "I don't wanna hear about Berry getting her freak on, thanks. You met this mystery guy yet? I'd figure he'd have to get through the Santana Approval Process before getting in your crazy ass pseudo-sister's argyle skirt."

"Nope, I was busy with finals and haven't been up to the city in a few weeks." Santana shrugged, "She's a big girl, she can handle herself."

"I'm shocked." She smirked. "So, when Allie's old enough to date, you'll let any of her boyfriends get off without being checked out?"

"Hell no, but Rachel's already been defiled without my permission." She shrugged. "Alle will never have to have that happen."

"What if it's another Finn?" Quinn asked softly, not wanting to admit she was worried about the smaller girl.

"Don't know, all I know is that they were at NYADA together or something and she's happy." She shrugged and watched Rachel interact with her sister. "At least he's like, supportive of her career and all..."

"Yeah, I guess." She sighed, before deliberately changing the subject. "So... what's on the menu, Chef San?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "Corn, burgers or mushrooms, and pasta salad."

"Do I get to try your shrooms?" She tried to hold back the immature giggle, but it was hard with how happy she was to see Santana healthy and happy and know she wouldn't have to leave in a couple days.

"If you'd like, I'll share it with you." She kissed her girlfriend's cheek. "Come with me while I check on the corn?"

Quinn let Santana help her up, but stayed close to her, wrapping her arms around the smaller woman's waist and resting her chin on her shoulder as she worked. "I'm glad I get to come home finally."

"We're glad to have you," Daniella added with a smile, looking up from where she was finishing fixing the pasta salad and cutting the buns open. "Maybe our favorite sourpuss will start smiling more now that you're here to keep her happy."

Santana scowled as she worked on turning the corn. "You two gang up on me all the time, it's no fair," she complained as she looked over at Daniella.

"What's unfair about making you smile, Tana?" Daniella smirked, tossing the pasta with the dressing.

"You do it by making fun of me or throwing things at my head." She pouted. "Don't forget about the day you both pelted me with marshmallows."

"Bet you wouldn't complain if I covered you in marshmallow fluff," Quinn breathed into her ear, barely loud enough for Santana to hear, "and then licked it all off."

Santana blushed darkly. "Quinnnnn," she whined before turning back tot he grill.

She laughed, giving Santana a squeeze before going to help Daniella set the table. They were just starting to set the non-grilled food out when she heard a car pull up. Glancing up, she blinked in surprise to see Jesse St James with his familiar confident smirk strolling down the hill. "St James? What the heck is he doing here?"

After a few moments Santana had a look of realization and she turned quickly to Rachel. "You're fucking kidding me right?"

"Santana, watch your language!" Rachel chided, nodding at a grinning Alejandra before looking past her and seeing Jesse. "Jesse!" She scrambled to her feet and ran over to throw herself in his arms. "I didn't think you could make it!"

"I managed to convince my manager that he could do without me this one day for once," he grinned, leaning in to kiss her. "I couldn't just ditch my favorite girl after being invited to spend time at the beach with her, now could I?"

Santana just looked on gobsmacked, Jesse St. James. She was confused and slightly hurt. Rachel should have mentioned that he was back. That they were friends. That they were back together.

"I'm glad you're here, now come say hi." Rachel smiled at him, dragging him towards the others as he followed behind her with a tolerant smile. "Everyone! You know Jesse... well, you don't Daniella and Alejandra, but that's okay, I'm sure he'll be a gentleman and introduce himself. He's well," she smiled down at their joined hands and then up at him, "he's my boyfriend."

"Right..." Santana crossed her arms and glared at him before turning back to the grill.

"Hi!" Alejandra exclaimed as she ran over to them. "You're Rachie's boyfriend? That's so cool. Do you live in New York too?"

"What's your problem?" Quinn hissed to Santana, trying not to get Rachel's attention on them.

Jesse crouched down to smile at her. "I am. She finally said yes after I had to ask and ask for just days." He nodded at her with a serious expression. "It was pretty traumatizing being rejected so often by such a beautiful girl like her, you know. I had to see my therapist about it a couple of times."

Rachel laughed, lightly slapping his shoulder as her cheeks darkened. "Just because I wasn't sure about making you my boyfriend doesn't mean you have to exaggerate so much, Jesse."

"Who said I'm exaggerating! I did see my therapist about you!" He laughed, smiling up at her.

"She didn't tell us," Santana said grumpily as she flipped the burgers and mushrooms. "She didn't mention he was back after everything... the last thing she needs is another douche bag boyfriend."

"I thought you said she's a big girl." Quinn raised a brow. "That she could handle herself."

"Not with idiots that egged her," she growled as she poked at the food once more.

"Thought he apologized for that before junior prom," she pointed out, a tiny smile hinting at the corner of her lips as she watched her girlfriend try to resist being more outwardly protective of the girl she'd called "their hobbit" one night after too many whiskey shots.

"Whatever, she can fuck whomever she wants." She reached over and grabbed a beer from the cooler.

"Babe, you're allowed to be upset," Quinn pointed out, getting up to hug her, "so stop being so passive aggressive about and just pull her off and talk - not yell at - to her about it."

"I'd prefer to yell at her about it," Santana pointed out as she laid out plates. "Alle? You want a mushroom?" She called over to her sister, "Daniella?"

"Mushroom!" Alejandra cheered. "With cheese please!"

"A burger if you don't mind," Daniella smiled at her. "I haven't yet adapted all the way to your slowly turning your sister into a vegetarian yet."

Quinn shook her head and kissed Santana's cheek. "I love you, but you know yelling only works with me. Rach just starts crying and looks all pathetic. Then you feel bad."

She huffed and put a slice of cheese on a mushroom before putting corn on each of the plates. "St. James... You want meat?" Santana called out with a grumble.

He looked at Rachel and smiled. "If you don't have enough to spare one for me, since I know I'm unexpected, I'll have meat, though I'll have you know I'm trying to curtail my eating animal products to better understand Rachel's point of views on the subject. I do feel better lately and it's only been a week, right baby?"

She grinned at him, leaning into his side. "That's right. I still can't believe you stood on the sidewalk outside my building and sang until I agreed to go on a date with you."

"Public humiliation is but a small price to pay for your affection." He grinned, kissing her hand.

"Gross," Santana groaned as she slid a burger onto her mother's, Quinn's, and now Jessie's plate. She switched spatchulas and put a mushroom cap on the bun for herself, Rachel and Alejandra. "Food's ready if you wanna come and do your fixings."

Rachel frowned at the evident disapproval all but seeping from Santana as she came over to take her plate. "Should I not have asked him to come?" she asked softly, not liking the change in the atmosphere from earlier.

Daniella looked over at her daughter and sighed as she fixed her burger. "She doesn't like surprises." Daniella reminded Rachel quietly. Santana helped Alejandra fix her mushroom cap and set her over at the picnic table before coming back and doing her own.

"It's fine, Rachel, I just didn't realize who you were dating," Santana replied as she looked up from getting some pasta salad.

Rachel sighed softly, taking small amounts on her plate. "I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd be upset." Picking up Jesse's plate, she filled it before going to sit with him at the end of the table.

He frowned at the unhappiness on his girlfriend's face. "I'll go, Rachel. It's alright. I don't want to cause any stress and we all know that my presence in your life is probably, well... unwelcome by your friends."

"Santana's just being stupid," Danielle said. "We're happy to have you, Jessie." She smiled and reached her hand over. "I'm Danielle, I'm Santana's mom. That's my other daughter, Alejandra. She's infatuated with Rachel, it's actually very sweet."

Santana moved over and sat down between her sister and Quinn and poked at her food. "Don't leave, Rachel will just be annoyed and pissy at me if you do."

Rachel picked at her food, not feeling very hungry as Jesse did his best to charm Santana's mom. "It's not fair, Santana," she mumbled. "Why do you get to be happy but I'm not allowed to?"

"Wouldn't you be annoyed if I started seeing Brittany again and not even allude to the fact she was back around?" Santana asked. "You didn't even mention he was back."

"Yes, because you interrupted to yell at me about not answer the phone when I called to tell you," Rachel pointed out sharply. "Then you didn't talk to me at all for two weeks, Santana. So, please, explain to me how I am supposed to keep you abreast of the changes in my life? Especially since if you started seeing Brittany again, I'm sure I would have heard of it from not only Quinn but Brittany herself." She poked at her food, not looking up from her plate. "I know I'm the odd person out here, Santana. I've known for years. You don't have to keep reminding me."

"I'm just, like, annoyed that I'm suppose to be your best friend and you keep shit like this from me," Santana exclaimed. "And I did call you, you just were at rehearsal all the time and couldn't talk to me. I don't care that you're with him. I don't... I just wish you cared enough about me or Quinn to tell us you were seeing someone."

"It's not a matter of caring enough." She sighed. "It's a matter of I don't fit. You can't get mad at me when you didn't take my return calls or just... check your voicemail once in awhile. I get it, Santana. You're busy with Quinn. Well, she'll be moving in with you so you don't have any reason to drive all the way to New York to see me any more."

"You're stupid sometimes, you know." Santana sighed. "You're my best friend."

Rachel shrugged, pushing her pasta salad across her plate. Jesse rolled his eyes and put an arm around her shoulders. "Babe, I know this is a case of pot and kettle here, but stop being a drama queen. She's worried about you." He offered Santana a hesitant smirk. "I'm half surprised she didn't find a shotgun to clean while talking to me after she found out."

"I don't have any weapons on me and I just found out. You can put that down in your day planner though." She smirked.

"I'm not afraid of you, Santana." He smirked, faltering only slightly when he took in Quinn's raised brow. "Her dads on the other hand..."

Rachel elbowed him lightly. "Cut it out, my dads are sweet. And they'd probably just give you to Santana anyway."

"This is very true. I'm scary." Santana stated with a stern face.

"I bet you'd let up if Rachel asked you to." He smirked at her, ignoring Rachel hiding her face behind her hand to keep him from seeing the disbelieving smirk on her face. Quinn just stared at him so hard you could almost hear the Really? she was itching to say.

"Tana's not scary!" Alejandra piped up around a mouthful of cheesy mushroom and bun.

"Allie, mouth closed when it's full of food!" Daniella exclaimed, shaking her head at the ridiculousness of the whole situation.

"Don't push your chances, Showboat," Santana warned. "You hurt her - you so much as make one tear fall from her eyes - I will ruin your life. I will shave your head, rip your larnex out and cut your nuts off."

He raised a brow, taken aback. "Since when did you become so protective of Rachel, Santana? I thought you hated her. Along with everyone else in your little club. No offense, sweetheart." Rachel just shrugged it off as being in the past.

"Things change when you finally got out of our lives," she mumbled. "But now that you're back..." She sighed. "Whatever. She's my best friend so the previous statement is staying."

Alejandra reached her hand out to Santana, "San... You owe me 5 dollars. You swore."

"Crap." She grumbled as she reached for her wallet and pulled out a bill for her sister. "Here."

"I'd like to think that you could accept that I've grown and changed in the last, what is it?" He looked at Rachel curiously. "Going on seven years now, isn't it?"

She thought about if for a moment then nodded. "I think so."

"Well, there you have it. I can see you've changed, Santana." He shrugged. "You're clearly much healthier looking now and have apparently managed to unfold the intricate layers of our dear Quinn's sexual repression after all. Why can't you extend the same benefit of the doubt to me?"

"He did get into a fight with Finn Junior Prom," Quinn pointed out mildly, nibbling at a pickle chip.

"Babe, not helping," Santana stated as she looked over at her girlfriend. "I'm just staying we didn't know you were back. Give me a minute to be freaking uncomfortable about this reunion. If Rachel's happy, then great. But, if you hurt her again, I'll kill you. What part of that are you not understanding?"

"Santana, just let go, please?" Rachel murmured, poking at her plate again. "I'm sorry I wasn't more persistent in my attempts to tell you. You just didn't seem very interested in knowing."

"You're family," Santana stated as she cut her mushroom.

Alejandra climed into Quinn's lap as they ate and remained there as they all finished their food. "Sanny? Rachel, will you come swim with me and Quinn?"

"Sure, sweetheart," Rachel smiled at her. "After we finish helping your mom clean up, okay?"

Santana smiled and leaned over to kiss her sister's head. "Go get the towels ready okay?" She smiled as she started cleaning up the table. When she came back and Alejandra was off Quinn's lap, she leaned down and pressed a deep kiss to her lover's lips.

"Play nice with Jesse," Quinn whispered as she curled a hand behind Santana's neck. "I know you wanna protect Rachel but he was honestly nice to everyone junior year. Except Finn of course. Out of all the guys she's dated, I think I can approve of him. Or Puck, but that is just way too weird."

She rolled her eyes and nodded. "I'll come swim in a bit."

"Good," Quinn smirked at her. "I wanna see how much hotter you've gotten in your bikini." She waggled her brows. "Especially since I am pretty sure your boobs have gotten bigger."

"Cute, Quinn." She smirked and grabbed her hips. "I'm still learning to deal... Being rehabbed teaches you to deal."

"Yeah, but it was good for you to go. I never thought Berry's level of crazy would really make you better." She smiled at Santana, letting her help her to her feet. "But I like the new you," she let her eyes rove appreciatively over the soft curves of Santana's body, "and how sexy you look now. In fact," she smirked, her eyes darkening slightly, "I may have to institute a no child rule for tonight so I can show you just how much I love the new you."

"This is the first time I've seen you since I got home and you graduated," she said, smiling. "You're not getting out of our bed tonight."

"Good, cause I gotta explore this new you," Quinn growled softly, pulling Santana closer with a grin. "Maybe I'll just wade for a bit and keep my strength up to handle you. I've missed you, baby."

"I missed you, too," she whispered, "This was the hardest six months of my life." Santana pressed her lips against Quinn's. "Thank you for calling me every night even though you couldn't see me."

"That was not fun, San." Quinn shook her head, looking unhappy. "I don't want to go that long without seeing you again, okay?"

"I promise," she whispered. "I'll never leave you like that again."

"Good, cause teaching is gonna make me crazy stressed and I need you to keep me from turning into Schue." She laughed, kissing her softly.

"If you start wearing a sweater vest, we're gonna have some issues," Santana teased as she pulled Quinn into her arms. "Go play with my sister, then we can head home, okay?"

"Nope, you gotta come too." She grinned at her, stepping back to pull off her dress and reveal her green bikini. "If I gotta jump in that cold ass ocean with your crazy as hell sisters, I need a preview of how I'm gonna get warmed up."

She rolled her eyes and pulled her denim shorts down and then pulled her tank top over her head. She revealed a black bikini with a halter top that contoured her newly buxom chest nicely. She looked up at Quinn nervously and waited for her lover to make a comment about the body she was trying to get used to.

Quinn's breath caught in her throat and a shyly excited smile teased at the corners of her lips as she let her eyes drink in the site of her girlfriend, an aroused blush coloring her cheeks the way it always did when she was thinking very improper thoughts about Santana. She bit the corner of her lower lip and dragged her eyes up to meet Santana's nervous gaze, her blush darkening. "Beautiful. I'm afraid to touch you though. I don't know if I'll let go if I do..."

"You never have to again remember?" Santana replied. "We're together for good now. Okay?" She smiled and tucked her hair behind her ears. "I... I'm really nervous about how I look... but you... you like it?"

"I like it." Quinn nodded slowly, licking her lips as her eyes fell to the mounds of Santana's breasts rising out of the bikini. She swallowed. "I like it a lot, baby..."

"Can... you tell me that more often? I'm... not so good at thinking it true." She said before walking towards the waves where Rachel, Alejandra and Jesse were splashing around.

"Every day." Taking a deep breath, Quinn did the one thing she's been working so hard to be able to do for the last four years. She ran forward and scooped Santana into her arms, her eyes intent on the ground to make sure she wouldn't trip as she ran them both into the surf with a wild laugh of delight. Once the water hit mid-thigh, she lost her footing, dropping them both in the the cold, salty water.

"Crazy woman!" Santana shrieked as she sputtered water. She clung to Quinn and held her close.

"Maybe." Quinn laughed, slicking her hair back before pulling Santana into a firm and passionate kiss. "But I finally got to carry you somewhere."

"I liked it." Santana smiled and kissed her back.

"Keep it PG!" Dani yelled from the beach. Santana rolled her eyes and swam over to Rachel and her sister.

Rachel was sitting on the porch swing, staring blankly off towards the setting sun and wondering what she was supposed to be doing at the house all weekend now that Jesse had headed back to New York on the last train out. She sighed softly, her fingers idly spinning the now empty coffee cup in her hands. It wasn't that she didn't like spending time with her two closest friends - she did, more than almost anything - she just wasn't sure what she was supposed to do while they were still so obviously wrapped up in each other and in love.

Santana came out with a green tea in between her hands and wandered over to her friend. "Hey... Can I sit with you?"

She glanced up at Santana and then down at the seat beside her with a shrug. "I suppose you can if you want, Santana."

"I wish you weren't shutting me out." Santana sighed. "I'm sorry for yelling at Jesse. I was surprised to see him."

"I'm not shutting you out," she murmured, looking down at her cup and setting it aside when she realized it was empty. "And it's fine. I shouldn't have surprised you like that. I know you don't like it."

"I know I've not been a good friend lately... I've just been focusing on myself and that's wrong." She sighed. "I had to focus on me though... I almost hurt Alle because of how sick I was."

Rachel shook her head with a sigh. "No. Please don't apologize for that, Santana. I know you had to go and get better and it's not like I could have helped from New York anyway. I understand. It's fine. Truly it is."

"You did help, I would have been dead five years ago if you hadn't had come into my life like you did," she said as she reached over and took Rachel's hand. "You're my best friend. I hate that you're upset..."

She looked down at their hands with a tiny smile and shrugged, sighing softly. "It's not a big deal, Santana. I promise. It's just...I'm being silly. Don't worry about it."

"You're not. You are upset about graduation," Santana stated simply, "and Q moving here."

"No, I'm not. Why would I be upset about that?" she scoffed as if it was ridiculous, but she didn't meet Santana's knowing eyes. She licked her lips. "Quinn belongs here with you. You'll both be happier living together after all. I'm quite happy for both of you."

"You feel left out." She sighed/ "I know you better than anyone. I know you're scared, but nothing changing, okay?"

"That's an absurd thing to say, Santana," she pointed out with a sad smile. "Everything's changing. School's over. I've got to find work somewhere so I can afford to eat and have a place to sleep as well as get time off for auditions when I move back to New York at the end of the summer. You and Quinn both have at least another year of school and you'll be together. Me?" She shrugged, going back to staring at the sunset with the same sad smile, "I'll be so busy and so broke I don't know if I'll ever have the chance to come back here let alone go back home to see dad and daddy..."

"Quinn's going to grad school... but I'm still finishing undergrad..." she reminded Rachel. "My medical holiday set me behind so I'm still planning on coming to see you when I can on weekends." Santana took a sip of her tea, "You will find work, I know you will. You're amazing, even if its not on Broadway yet. You'll get there."

"Great." She smiled weakly. "So I can spend the next few years being rejected for everything you and Quinn pointed out in detail through high school while the two of you navigate finishing school together. How exciting for me." She wished she hadn't finished her drink so quickly. She really wanted something to hide her face behind in that moment.

"Stop it," Santana stated. "You are acting like Quinn did when I started seeing Brittany. Like we're going to forget about you. Well, that's not going to happen since I consider you my sister, my sister considers you her sister, and you're both Quinn's friend and mine. I'm never going to turn my back on you."

Rachel reached up to wipe at her face. "Okay. So what do I do when you and Quinn are done with school and starting your careers? You're not going to have any time for my...foolishness, Santana. Wouldn't it be better to just," she sniffled, "just enjoy the summer and admit everything was nice while it lasted when it's done?"

"No," she insisted sternly. "I can't do this without you. I still have no idea what I want to do... I can't keep my life together on my own. I'm a mess." She laughed sadly. "I need my best friend around to be a mess with me. We're twenty-one, Rach... we're allowed to be shitshows, but I need you with me okay?"

Rachel bit her trembling lip and risked a glance at Santana. "What about when I need you?" she asked with a tiny voice. "What about when I just...need you, Santana?"

"You'll call me," Santana reminded her. "You call me and we will talk or I can figure a way to be with you."

"Can I come?" she asked softly, needing the permission more than anything as reassurance against the scariness of the future. "Can I come home if I need to?"

"Yes. Always." Santana smiled before wrapping her arms around Rachel.

"Good," Rachel mumbled, letting herself relax into Santana's embrace, her arms sliding around the taller girl's waist. "I've missed you, Santana..."

"I missed you too... I was kinda a mute for six months. I didn't wanna talk to the other people at the center." She sighed and rested her head on Rachel's. "Did you like my letters?"

"They were sweet," she smiled lopsidedly, "though I don't know how you managed to so perfectly cut apart the other members of my classes when I'm fairly certain you didn't know them. You must have a gift."

"I know they're not as talented as you." She shrugged. "Rachel... does Jesse make you happy? Or are you with him because it's easy and you're lonely."

She chewed on her lip for a moment before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "Would you be very angry if I said a little of both right now?"

"Just a little bit angry." Santana sighed and rubbed Rachel's arm. "I just want the best for you... But let's be real, being with Q at first was safe and easy too and I can't imagine life without her now."

"I'll probably fight with Jesse." Rachel offered a shy smile, acknowledging her own shortcomings and those of her boyfriend with her best friend. "We're both performers with the diva attitude to go along with it, so I would be highly surprised if those arguments did not involve at least one of us storming out with bold declarations that we shall never return. Please don't kill him if I show up on your doorstep an overwrought wreck sometimes."

"Only if you ask me to kill him will he be harmed," Santana replied. "Plus fighting is good... Q and I fight all the time, and the make up sex is amazing!"

"I really wouldn't recommend relying on my willingness to ask for his death when I'm in an overly emotional state, Santana," Rachel pointed out as her cheeks flushed dark. "And I truly don't believe I should be privy to any details of the sex life shared by you and Quinn!"

"Please, you've shared action enough times with us to know," she teased.

Rachel's jaw dropped. "Santana, please, please don't say that around Jesse. He'll think I've been having sex with the two of you!"

She giggled and shrugged. "I'm just saying I know we're not as quiet as Quinn thinks we are."

"Oh God, you're not," she groaned, covering her face as she remembered how often she was woken up to the sounds of moans on the other side of a thin motel wall after they finally got together. "You're definitely not."

"Quinn likes to think she is. But, she's very loud when she loses control."

"Details, Santana!" Rachel yelped, sitting up straight with an embarrassed look on her face. "I don't tell you about Jesse's prowess in the bedroom!"

"I'm sure you will, or I'll overhear it someday while I'm sleeping in your bathtub when I'm visiting you since you will kick me out of your bed." She pouted as she took a sip of her tea.

"I wouldn't make you sleep in the tub, Santana," she rolled her eyes. "You're going to help me pick out a futon couch when we head back to New York to get everything settled in my new place, right?"

"Yep." She smiled. "Sounds good."

Rachel sighed and leaned over, letting her head rest against Santana's shoulder. "I'm glad you're in my life, Santana. Even high school," she added with a teasing smirk.

"High school sucks for everyone." She shrugged, "But we did okay." She leaned over and kissed Rachel's cheek. "Thanks for keeping me alive."

"Thanks for keeping me from marrying Finn," she whispered, reaching down to take Santana's hand again, idly playing with her fingers. "I wish I'd listened to you. You know. About..." She let the sentence trail off with a shrug.

"It's honestly something we all end up regretting," Santana said. "I regret mine, Quinn regrets hers... It's just how it goes."

"Even if it's with someone you care about?" Rachel asked softly, looking up at Santana. "Maybe... maybe it doesn't really count until it's with someone you really love. Or maybe we can just pretend like it does until it feels true."

"I don't think that it works like that... but you don't know how amazing it can be until you fall in love." She smiled shyly. "I had a lot of sex before Quinn... but, it's never been like it is with us. Sometimes - fuck, don't make fun of me for this - but like, I wake up and just watch her sleeping afterwards and I almost cry because I love her so much."

"Why would I make fun of you for that, Santana? I think it's entirely sweet. And I know it doesn't work like that but I like to think it doesn't really count until it's with the one you want to be with forever. Maybe everything else is just... practice?"

"Gettting good for the person you're gonna fuck for the rest of your life?" She smiled and squeezed her hand. "So, Jesse... you think that's gonna be good."

She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. Maybe he's just practice for someone I haven't even met yet." She glanced up at Santana with a shy smile. "We've only been together a week you know."

"Ah," Santana nodded, "It's just kinda odd. He's better to you than last time?"

"He was better when he came back the first time in junior year." She sighed, playing with Santana's fingers some more. "I wish I hadn't been so wrapped up in Finn and his silliness though. Did you know he apologized to me? For everything? Finn never did that..."

They didn't notice Quinn opening the inner door and reaching for the screen door before she noticed them. Hearing the subject, she stayed quiet and leaned against the door frame. The conversation Santana and Rachel were having had been a long time coming and she didn't want to be the one to interrupt it.

"I'm glad he said sorry," she said softly. "You deserve the best, Rachel. I just want to make sure someone's giving that to you. Finn didn't deserve you, Jesse was good to you when you were together but... Finn always got in the way. I'm supportive of you if you think it's right."

"San," Rachel murmured, using a nickname she rarely ever did, "I know Brittany hurt you a lot by breaking up with you, but I think you needed her to to start getting better. And," she took a breath, "I think Quinn is really good for you, even if you do fight. You're good for her too. Maybe... maybe it counts for you now?" She bit her lip, looking down at their hands again with a shy smile. "If it's okay... I think maybe you'll be the first person I call when I figure out when it counts for me. Okay?"

"I'd like that." She smiled, and squeezed Rachel's hand. "And Quinn? She's the best thing that ever happened to me. I love her more than anything in the world."

"Good." She nodded firmly. "So you better not forget to invite me to your wedding. I will be entirely put out if you do."

"You're gonna be my best lady or whatever." She smirked. "Though I doubt we'll have a big wedding or anything. Unless Q wants that... we've never really talked about it."

"What about Brittany? You can't exclude her. The three of you are... Santana, it'd be like breaking up the Three Musketeers. You can't do that."

"Uh, I'm not going to have my ex-girlfriend as my maid of honor." Santana laughed softly. "Plus you're my best friend... I never really talk to Britt anymore. Quinn does, but I mean we grew apart."

"That's sad. She misses you." Rachel shrugged, sighing softly. "But I think maybe she understands you better than I do on occasion because she told me she'd just like to be there if you two get married so she can be happy for you. I thought she was being, well, her, but if you feel the same, I guess she's right. If I ever get married... I want you to be my maid of honor, Santana. Is that okay?"

"Very much okay... and Brittany will be at our wedding, but she's not my best friend anymore."

"Okay." Rachel opened her mouth as if she was going to say something else, but was interrupted by Quinn pushing through the screen door.

"Um, so when was someone going to tell me we're getting married, hmm? Santana?"

"Shut up, I'm talking about the future." Santana laughed as she pulled Quinn closer to sit on her lap.

"And I can't be involved in that conversation?" Quinn teased, wrapping an arm around Santana's neck. "I don't know, I kind of like the sound of Santana Fabray. Don't you, Rach?" She winked at the smaller girl.

"I don't know." Rachel looked thoughtful, rubbing her chin. "It does have a certain mysterious charm to it..."

"What if I wanted you to be Quinn Lopez?" She raised her eyebrow and looked at her girlfriend.

"And take your dad's name?" She raised a brow. "At least my mom didn't get remarried and has the same last name. Your dad's an ass, San."

"But... I like having a Hispanic last name," she said softly. "I don't know..."

Quinn shrugged, uncertain but knowing she didn't want to be tied to Carlos Lopez at all.

"What about your mom's maiden name?" Both girls turned to look at Rachel in confusion. "I mean... I believe Daniella is Latina, is she not? Yes, her name is Thompson now, but that's because she was married to Alejandra's father. But... wouldn't she have a Hispanic family name?"

"It doesn't really matter, her name's not my family name," Santana said. "It's not a big deal... We can figure it out when we start thinking about getting married okay?"

"Mmm," Quinn nodded, leaning into Santana, "but what if I've been thinking about it for a while?"

"Then who's not talking to whom?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around her lover.

"Maybe I've just been waiting for the right moment." She laughed at Rachel's disbelieving expression. She reached into her pocket and looked at her closed hand for a moment before taking a deep breath and holding it out to Santana, opening it to reveal a small velvet bag, worn smooth by handling. "Here. I'll drop it."

"Q?" Santana asked nervously as she took the bag and held it in her hand. "What's this?"

She smiled nervously and carefully got down off of Santana's lap to kneel in front of her and open the bag, pulling out a simple pale gold ring with a aquamarine setting and holding it up to Santana. "Santana Lopez, I've been in love with you... practically since we first met. It took me getting my head out of my ass and realizing what an amazing friend you were to me before I could realize just how much I loved you though. I consider myself so lucky you stuck around through all that and," she licked her lips, "I wanted to ask, with Rachel sitting like right there as my witness... if you'll agree to marry me and be my wife."

"Quinn," Santana breathed, "You... you... you really want to marry me?" She swallowed. "You have a ring and everything..."

Quinn looked between ring and Santana nervously. "I... um, I've had it for almost five months now. I," she slumped with a sigh, "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have surprised you. It's okay, San. I still love you and I won't go anywhere. You don't have to -"

"No! I want it!" Santana exclaimed as she reached out and took the ring. "It's so beautiful - so amazing," she whispered as she slipped the ring onto her finger. "This is amazing."

She offered a lopsided smile, ignoring Rachel's excited clapping. "What's so amazing about it? I knew I wanted to marry you the first time I woke up in your arms after we," she glanced down with a dark blush, "you know. It just took me this long to find the right ring and... well, get the courage to ask. But, just so we're clear, that's a yes... right?"

"Yes, it's a yes." She smiled and kissed Quinn. "I'm gonna get you one too.."

"Oh good." She laughed with relief, kissing her back and crawling back up into her lap. "So, it's okay? Even though it's not a diamond?"

"I likes my bling, but this is so much better." Santana smiled and kissed Quinn again softly. "I'll have to find you one that's just as lovely."

"You don't have to," she pointed out with a smirk. "I just wanted to put a claim on you where everyone could see... that wasn't a bruise."

"Quinn!" Rachel yelped. "Non-involved in your sexual trysts with your fiancee friend here!"

"You like it," Santana teased as she slipped her newly ringed hand under her lover shirt to rest on her stomach.

"No, I don't!" she hurried to get out, turning to face away from them, her cheeks flushing darkly as she stared fixedly at the ceiling. "I don't need to see that, Santana!" she whined. "Please don't make out here on the porch..."

Quinn laughed. "I'll make out with my fiancee wherever I want, Berry. Deal with it." Leaning in, she cupped a hand against Santana's cheek and kissed her softly, tilting her head to slip her tongue out and brush it against Santana's lips.

Santana giggled into Quinn's mouth as they kissed. After a few moments she pulled away and hugged her, "You're getting fucked so hard tonight," she whispered into the woman's ear.

"I'm looking forward to it," Quinn smirked, waggling her brows. "But I'm not the only one. Hey, Berry, I'd stay upstairs tonight in San's room."

"Is that okay?" Santana asked, her eyes nearly pleading to her psudo-sister. "I'll make you a really big breakfast tomorrow... I just.. haven't been alone with Quinn in 6 months."

Rachel risked a glance back over her shoulder to roll her eyes. "As if I want to be close enough to hear the details of your sexual encounters after six months separation." She smiled, taking the sting out of her words. "Don't worry. I'll distract Alejandra too so she doesn't come seeking you two out until at least mid afternoon tomorrow."

"Have I mentioned how much I like you lately, Rach?" Quinn laughed. "I think maybe we can be dressed by mid afternoon tomorrow, though," she bit her lip, not being shy about checking out Santana's cleavage, "might be cutting it close."

Santana squeaked as she watched Quinn's eyes. "Ra-Rachel we gotta go to bed... now," she said quickly as she got Quinn up off her lap and leaned over and kissed Rachel's cheek. "I love you, I missed you... but I gotta go now."

Rachel laughed as Quinn started dragging Santana off, the women wrapped up in the emotional high from their engagement. "Go on, have fun. I'll be fine."