Dare to be Aware - Chapter Three
Title: Dare to be Aware
Author: Sio & Maura
Rating: Hard NC-17
Length: 12,645
Spoilers: AU
Pairing: Santana/Quinn, past Brittany/Santana, Brittany/Artie mentions, Blaine/Sam, past Quinn/Finn, Quinn/Sam bearding, past Blaine/Kurt
Summary: What does it take to find your own identity? How much pain can you endure in the process?
Warnings (highlight to read): Gender Dysphoria, Violence against Trans, Trans Character, Explicit Sexual Content, Domestic Violence, Graphic Severe Violence, Hospitals, Transitioning, Rough Sex, Potentially dub-con/non-con situations, Abandonment
Chapter 3
The ride back to Sam's place would have been unbearable with all the ribbing he was getting about Kelly, but what the boys had been up to out in the car while he'd been inside talking was fairly obvious. He'd come out to see Blaine shooting up from where he'd been leaning over Sam in the passenger seat. Sam was hurriedly fussing with his pants as Quinn climbed into the backseat with a smirk.
After that, they really hadn't had anything to say that he couldn't counter with what had obviously happened. They'd grabbed a pizza and spent the rest of the night hanging out before Quinn had regrettably had to change back into Lucy and head home. Luckily, Russell had just hugged her and sent her to bed with a proud smile - having assumed his daughter had been out with her boyfriend on a good date.
Finally though, after an achingly long Saturday morning Cheerios practice, it was time to go over to Sam's for their big night out. Russell'd given her a big hug and slipped Sam a hundred with a wink that'd completely creeped his child out, but for the most part leaving had been easy enough. Blaine had shown up a few minutes later with Quinn's duffel bag and a dry cleaning bag that he refused to talk about until Quinn got changed.
Quinn got suited up in his binder and unit tucked into his tight black boxer briefs. He looked at the other boys who were in various stages of undress and smiled before putting on one deodorant a rubbed some Polo Blue cologne on his neck. "What am I wearing, Blaine?" Quinn asked as she watched Blaine roll up his pants with no socks.
"Something classic," he smiled knowingly, shrugging into his button up shirt and picking up the dry cleaning bag before handing it to Quinn to unzip. "Be careful with the jacket, please. It belonged to my uncle." Inside the bag was a pair of dark gray flat-front trousers and a black leather jacket. "I figured that those silly black skater sneakers you like so much would go with it and your top there."
"You sure this will be okay?" he asked as he took the pants out of the bag and slid them on. Quinn was thankful that Blaine es the same size as him and they shared clothing most of the time since Quinn only owned some jeans and t-shirts. He grabbed his belt from the jeans and wound it through the loops and fastened the buckle that locked like a seatbelt. "I shouldn't wear another shirt?"
Blaine just smirked. "Finish getting dressed and tie your hair back then try looking in the mirror and you tell me."
Quinn rolled his eyes and tied his hair back into a low ponytail, "Hey, Sam? Can I have some scissors?" he asked as he held onto his hair at the shoulder.
Sam looked over nervously, "Um, you sure that's a good idea, Q? Your old man would get beyond pissed if you cut your hair..." But he picked up the scissors from his desk drawer, holding them uncertainly.
"Look... My dad can suck it." Quinn said as he put the elastic tight at the base of his skull. "I'm just gonna make it shoulder length, it's hard to feel like a dude if I'm looking like a member of a 80's metal band."
"Well, um," Sam hurried up and buttoned up his jeans before grabbing the scissors off his desk again and hurrying over, "at least let me do it. Trust me, it's totally obvious when you cut it yourself."
"Thank you," he whispered as he presented the ponytail. "Just the end okay? I don't want to die when I go home," he explained as he closed his eyes and waited to hear the snip.
Sam caught his tongue between his lips and carefully cut as evenly as he could across the spot he'd indicated. "I still think long hair looked good on you. Kelly sure didn't seem to mind," he teased as he finished cutting, Blaine grabbing the waistbin he'd shoved behind Quinn at the last moment with the strands of blond hair in it and stuffing them into a baggie just in case they were wanted later.
"I can handle shoulder length, Sam... Not how it was." he said softly as he an his hand through his hair and smiled and gathered his hair into a ponytail and tied it at the base of his skull. "I feel better now."
Sam laughed, tossing the scissors back into the drawer and finishing getting dressed before smirking at Quinn. "You just want to imagine Kelly yanking on it as you drill her, I bet."
"Seriously, Sam," Blaine groused, slicking his hair back in the mirror, "that is so crude."
"You love it," he smirked at his boyfriend.
Blaine came over and traced a hand up his neck. "I'll show you what I love," and pulled him down into a kiss, Sam's hands sliding down to palm his ass through his tight jeans.
"Oh God, homos!" Quinn groaned as he turned away and slid the leather jacket on. "Stop humping... I'm already gonna have to deal with you and your grabby hands when I drive you drunk boys home tonight."
Blaine laughed, pulling away. "You know you'll be watching in the rearview."
"And are you sure you won't be going home with Kelly?" Sam asked with a smirk, drawing her name out teasingly.
"Doubt it," Quinn stated as he looked to make sure he looked okay. "Kelly and I are just friends..."
"Dude, you just met her and you're already friends?" Sam smirked, "What happened to no girls would ever get into me?"
"And look at yourself, Q," Blaine pointed out. "Do you see any girl there?"
"Well, she did make out with me while you getting sucked off in the car," Quinn stated as he grabbed his Star Wars wallet from his backpack and shoved it in his back pocket. He looked in the mirror and smiled a genuine grin, "I look like me."
"Exactly," Blaine grinned, coming up behind him and grabbing his shoulders, pointing him towards the door, "And tonight you're gonna be you all over the club."
"Let's go have some fun!" Sam whooped, pumping the air as the guys headed out to the car.
Quinn was nervous as they headed into the busy bar. The music thumped loudly while the boys headed over to the bar. He ordered three beers for them and paid with his father's money shooting a smile at Sam before handing him the drink. He took a sip and looked around the room, various couples were dancing and the rest of the patrons seemed to be having a good time. When he didn't see Kelly right away he started getting nervous, so he turned his back and leaned against the bar and nursed his drink.
Slim arms slid around his waist and a slim, but decidedly feminine body - unlike the two guys who'd hit on him earlier - pressed into his back. "Hey there, big boy." A soft, familiar voice, low and seductive, breathed into his ear over the pulse of the music around them, "You don't look like you're having any fun. I thought you liked to dance?"
"I was waiting for a beautiful girl," he smiled and leaned back into Kelly's arms. Quinn took the final swig of his beer and dropped the empty glass on the counter. "Did you just get here?" Quinn asked as he turned around, his breath caught when he saw the short skirt and tank top the girl was wearing. "Damn," he cursed his eyes roamed over her.
"Like what you see?" She asked, giving a slow spin so he could take her all in with a smirk, "I've been here for a bit, but didn't really see anyone worth," she licked her lips, watching him, "playing with until you walked in." She looked up at him with an almost coy smile, "So, I seem to recall you promising something about a dance?"
"I did promise you that," he said as he slid his arms around her waist. "Think you can keep up with me?" he asked as he led her out to the floor and pressed himself into her body.
She laughed, sliding her hands down to grab his ass and squeeze, "That's funny, but I like a man with confidence." She began moving against him, rolling her hips into his, "Maybe I should be asking if you can keep up with me?"
Quinn laughed softly as he wrapped his arms around her neck and rolled his body with her, still trying it get male dance moves down. After a while Quinn leaned in awkwardly, "How... how am I doing? Am I dancing like a guy?" he was blushing and nuzzled her neck and pressed a light kiss to her skin.
"Don't ask how you're dancing, it shows you're nervous," Kelly whispered into his ear. "And you are a guy so of course you're dancing like one. Just be confident and do what you want. I won't push you away."
He nodded and continued to move with the music, copying some of the moves he saw Blaine doing over Kelly's shoulder. Quinn's slid her hands down the girls back and slid to her ass. "You look really hot tonight."
"So do you," she ran her hands up to his neck, playing with the hair there for a moment before smirking and pulling him down into a hard kiss before moving to whisper in his ear. "You have permission, Quinn. Be a man and show me some of what you would do to me if I took you home tonight." As the last word left her lips, she bit gently at his earlobe.
In an instant, Quinn had pushed Kelly back to the bar and up against its polished length and fused their lips together. He kissed Kelly hard and unrelenting as he grasped her ass with his palms. His hips pressed into Kelly, the bulge in his pants rocking slightly against her core. She moaned softly into the kiss, sliding her hands back down to his ass to pull him closer.
Neither of them noticed the dark gaze watching them from a corner booth. She stirred her drink idly as she watched the brunette get all but fucked on the bar by the tall, moderately handsome new guy. It wasn't her normal fare - guys rarely did much for her - but she wasn't sure how she felt about her latest conquest moving on so quickly. Her eyes narrowed as she took in the lines of his body, memorizing them for the next time she saw him.
Maybe the woman thought she was good enough to catch two sessions in a night, but Santana Lopez had news for her. No one went for seconds after her and next time, she thought, leaning back in the booth with a smile, she'd make sure there weren't seconds to be found.
"Hey, you two!" The bartender snapped, flicking at them with a wound up bar towel, "Go get a room!"
Kelly smirked up at Quinn, her hands somehow having migrated to the lapels of his jacket, "That almost sounds like a good idea, don't you think?"
"Yeah," Quinn said breathlessly, "wanna go to the bathroom? Or my car?" he asked as he ground his unit into her core. "Let the boys have their fun while we have ours?"
"How about my car?" She asked, pulling her keys out of her purse and holding them up with a smirk, "Just in case your boys are already having their fun?"
Quinn nodded enthusiastically, pulling away and smiling as he tugged Kelly over to the door. He let the older woma drag him over to the four by four and climbed in. Sitting in the backseat, he slid back until he was pressed against the far door, one leg stretched out on the seat, the other foot on the floor, and smiled, "Come here."
Kelly laughed, crawling into the SUV and closing the door behind her so only the parking lot lights illuminated them. "My, you are a fast learner, aren't you," she crawled across the seat until she could straddle the young man and smile down at him, pulling his ponytail out and playing with his hair for a moment. "Just to be clear up front, I don't want to go all the way with you tonight. But," she placed a finger over his lips to quiet his protests, smirking, "I'm not against making out for a while. If you want..."
"I want." he said as his hands slid up under her skirt, "How about I make you feel good?"
"Quinn," she chided softly, pushing his hands back down out of her skirt, "that would be going all the way. Trust me," she smiled, leaning down to brush her lips against his as she spoke, carefully placing his hands above her skirt, "you can make me feel very good without doing any of that yet."
He pouted for a moment, "What can I do?" he asked softly as his lips pressed kisses to her neck.
"You can kiss me like that," she breathed, leaning back slightly and tilting her head to give him even better access to her neck. Licking her lips, she took his hands and settled them over her breasts on top of her shirt, "Maybe touch a little above the waist if you want... do you like how this," she moaned softly as he found a particularly nice spot on her neck, "how this feels?"
"Yes," he said as he massaged her chest with his hands, his hips rocking up to try to find friction. He nipped at her neck before sucking against the spot.
She tried to hold back a moan as his slacks brushed against her uncovered core, but it was hard. She was still sensitive and little tender where Santana had fucked her into the same backseat earlier and each brush of the erection contained by his pants against her core felt like electric fire rippling through her. "Oh wow," she hissed, unable to stop herself from grinding down into him, "you are a really fast learner."
"Sure you don't wanna test drive it?" he husked.
She smirked down at him, fighting to control her breathing, "Not tonight, stud. But maybe someday." She leaned down and kissed him hard, nails raking across his scalp as she ran her fingers through his hair.
He moaned and held her down against his body. "You're not gonna blueball me, right?" he moaned as he rocked himself into her.
She couldn't stop the loud groan that slipped from her lips as his cock rubbed against her wet core still swollen from the rough sex she always got when she hooked up with Santana. Her nails dug into his scalp as she ground down against him, pressing his member down into his body. "Not the intention," she gasped, ripping a hand away from his head to push one of his hands down from her breast to the hem of her shirt, "under... under my shirt... Touch me, Quinn..."
Quinn quickly fumbled and got his hand under her shirt and pushed past her bra. He quickly flicked her nipple as he bit down on her lip trying to stifle his moans. He was close, as he reached his other hand down and pressed tightly to his dick before finding her hip and rocking into her.
"That's right," she gasped, rocking into him, her hands going up to hold the safety bar over his head, her chest pushing closer to his face as she ground down into him, her bare core soaking the front of his slacks, "just like that." Her nipple strained against his fingers, "Harder, Quinn. Pinch my nipples. Twist them. Oh God..."
Quinn groaned and twisted them roughly before arching up and squeaking. He panted and moaned as his orgasm washed over him. "Oh shit," he gasped as his body went tense.
She let out a groan that quickly spiraled up into a breathless gasp as her body arched into Quinn, grinding down into the bulge of his cock as she came harder than she'd expected. She could feel the moisture soaking into his pants as she came down from her high and slumped against him with a breathless laugh. "Still worried about blueballs?" she panted against his neck, her breath hot over his skin as her body pressed into his.
"I should have known you would follow through," he said as he held her on top of him. "Are you not wearing panties?" he asked as an after thought from how wet his thighs currently felt.
"I, um," she blushed, "please don't judge me, but... no. Why? Did you want them to take home?" she teased.
"No... I was just wondering." he said softly as he ran his finger over a hickey on her shoulder that didn't belong to him. "I should bounce." he said aloofly as he tried to slid out from under her.
"Oh," she whispered, "Yeah, I guess..." She didn't want to address why she felt rejected right then - if she'd thought he'd be the cuddler type or whatever it was - but she carefully climbed off of him, opening the door and climbing out of the car to straighten her skirt. Sex, making out - it was just fun for her, but she had a bad feeling she'd let it ruin what could have been a nice friendship again.
He climbed out and took her hand and kissed her lips softly. "Thank you," he whispered as he tired to not look at the kisses on her neck that he didn't make, "maybe I'll see you again?" he asked softly.
"I'd like that," she admitted softly. "Hey," she called out quietly as she heard his footsteps crunching the gravel back towards the club, "I told you just friends for a reason. I'm not girlfriend material. Not for someone like you." She licked her lips and smiled towards him, "I'm not nearly that worthy but you'll find someone. I know you will. Until then... I'm around."
"If we do this again... can it just be me that night?" he asked shyly. "I just wanna be special to you one night. And you're special too so I'd like that." he shrugged and turned and heads back into the club, taking a quick stop into the bathroom to use the hand dryer to dry the pants and headed back to the bar to find Blaine and Sam.
"Yeah," she whispered as he walked away. It was things like that that made her certain her snap decision that she wasn't good enough for anything more than a fuckbuddy for the man back at the shop was the right one. She wasn't special, she thought as she watched him walk away, but he was and he deserved someone that could match his willingness to give. As she watched the door to the club close behind him, and started to turn back to clean up the car, she felt a sudden rough thrust of fingers into her soaking channel.
"You think you can just go find a boy to fuck after me, Kelly?" Santana's voice was a familiar harshness in her ear as the angry girl shoved her into the car and pushed up her skirt. "It doesn't work like that. No one gets Santana Lopez's seconds for the night. You want more," she thrust into her hard as she shoved her across the seat, crawling into the car and pulling the door shut behind her, "then you come crawling back to me."