Shooting the Rapids - Chapter Seventeen
Title: Shooting the Rapids
Author: Sio & Maura
Rating: NC-17
Length: 75,447 / 105,220
Spoilers: Possible mentions of up to Season 2 finale
Pairing: Rachel/Santana
Summary: The sequel to Standing on a Precipice. Rachel and Santana have managed to survive the turbulent waters of the loss of Jesse and the shocking truth hidden in Santana’s marriage. Now two years later, new troubles arise with Shelby taking a stand in defense of her daughter against Santana’s "corruption" and the involvement of the tabloids as the couple becomes more and more drawn into the public eye. Kayla’s success in gymnastics brings interest from an unexpected direction and Santana has decided she wants to try again for a child of her own. Can they survive as a couple and help their children thrive amidst the chaos?
Warnings (highlight to read): Pregnancy, angst, children, non-con and drugging and talks thereof in later chapters
Chapter 17
"Beth, can I talk to you for a moment?" Rachel asked as she glanced up to see her sister walking past the office in their home.
The teen paused and turned back to poke her head in the room. "Sure, Rachel. What do you need?"
"Beth, it's about Shelby," Rachel paused, considering her words for a moment before carefully setting the pen she had been using down on the desk. "There really isn't an easy way for me to tell you this, so I'm going to be very direct, okay?"
Beth sat down slowly in the chair across the desk, looking entirely worried, "She's okay, right?"
"Yes, she's okay," Rachel paused with a slight wince, "Well, relatively speaking. She's healthy at least."
"Then what is it? What's wrong?"
"You're," She took a breath, licking her lips, "you're going to have to stay with us for a couple more days. I'm afraid she was arrested yesterday after forcing her way in here screaming for you. She scared the boys and Ari and actually struck Santana and I'm very sorry, Beth, but I simply cannot tolerate that sort of behavior. Please understand that I wasn't trying to hurt you..."
Beth sat in silence for a long moment, taking in the fact that her mother was in jail because of her sister. Finally she let out a shaky sigh. "It... it's not your fault, Rachel. She did this to herself. Thank," she closed her eyes and stood, standing still for a second before looking at Rachel with a tiny smile, "thank you for telling me and letting me stay."
"You're my sister, Beth. No matter what, you're always welcome here."
The teen nodded, turning towards the door. "Still, thank you, Rachel."
Beth knocked on the door to the older women's bedroom. "Santana?" she whispered, easing it open, not wanting to wake her sister's girlfriend if she was sleeping.
Santana was laying on the bed curled around the pillow, her cheeks slightly stained with tears. The new mom was still struggling with her hormones and keeping up with the rigor of work and homelife after Arianna's birth, but when she heard Beth's voice she quickly wiped her eyes and tried to snap back into herself. "Hey Beth," She said softly, not to wake Arianna. "What's up?"
"I," she bit her lip, not wanting to be a bother, "Rachel just told me about my mo...about Shelby a-and I was wondering if maybe," she shrugged, looking uncertain, "if maybe you could contact Quinn? I mean, I just... I want to meet her. Just once at least." She slumped slightly, "I want to know who I came from... I want to know that I came from someone better than my mom." Her words trailed off into a soft whisper and sniffle.
Santana sat up and nodded, "I'll email her now." She said, her voice raspy with exhaustion. "We love you, Beth, don't ever forget you belong with us no matter what happens because we're family. Okay?"
Beth nodded, smiling weakly at Santana. "You... you don't have to do it now. I've waited sixteen years already, I can wait a little longer," she whispered. "Can I just," one shoulder cocked up in a half-hearted shrug, "can I just stay with you for a little bit? Rachel's busy working and," she sighed, looking like everything was beating down on her sixteen year old shoulders, "I could really use a hug..."
Santana nodded and slid back down onto the bed and lifted up the quilt that covered her body. "Come here." she stated, smiling when the teenager slid into the bed next to her. Santana hugged her tightly, "We'll figure everything out, Beth. I promise." She whispered and placed the blanket back around them.
Everything was going wrong, life should be getting better not worse for the family. But things kept getting thrown at them in a way that was making the very act of getting out of bed harder and harder every day.
It was three am and Santana woke up with Arianna, but then couldn't fall asleep after her daughter nodded off. After making the lap around the house to check on everyone, Santana slumped onto the couch with her iPad and brought up her personal e-mail account. She browsed for a moment and finally found the e-mail address she was looking for. Quinn Fabray. Santana started typing out a short message to her former friend.
Dear Q.
Hey... I know it's been like a fuck long time but I wanted to see how you were. I've actually been thinking a lot about you recently and thought I'd just email you to see what's been going on. I hadn't heard much more then that you moved to Boston after college to go to grad school or something. I'd understand if you just wanna tell me to fuck off and leave you alone, but hopefully you'll e-mail back...
San
A few hours later, Quinn nearly spat her morning coffee on her monitor when she clicked on the blinking "new mail" icon and saw a message from one of her oldest friends. Opening, she quickly skimmed through it before hitting the reply button. Leaving the window open, she got up to get dressed for the day and give herself time to think of a suitable reply.
Finally, dressed in a neat grey business suit, she sat back down and placed her fingers on the keys, still thinking. Eventually she shook her head with a fond smile at her reminiscing and started rattling at the old fashioned keyboard.
Dear San,
While I'm mildly amazed that you still remember me after all these years, I'm not exactly what you would call the sort to tell one of my oldest friends to fuck off. Or at least I'm not any more. You're right. I did move to Boston for my graduate degree. I received my Masters and decided that I liked it here amongst the native Bostonians.
What about you? How are you doing? I saw news coverage of the scandal involving you and your ex-husband. Sorry to hear about that. I hope things are better now.
Q
Sitting back from her computer, she logged off and collected her briefcase to head downtown to her job in the administrative offices of The Home For Little Wanderers.
The house was quiet - which was a rarity as of late - when Santana sat at her laptop trying to go over budgets for the next new months when her inbox chimed. She smiled when she saw Quinn wrote her back.
Hey,
Yeah. It's okay now. Just other shit's going down. If you saw those from a few years back you might have seen the newer ones. I just had a baby; I know... I know no one ever thought I'd be maternal enough for that... but she's beautiful. Arianna (see attached picture of her with Rachel's kids)
I'm here in NYC now, well have been for awhile. Was in England for undergrad then a few years of marriage before NYC. What are you up to in Boston? Husband (wife? I don't judge :P), kids? A dog?
Talk to you soon,
S
That afternoon once things finally wound down a bit, Quinn had another chance to check her personal e-mail and was pleased to see a response from Santana. Cuing it up she read it with a soft laugh before typing up a response.
Hey back,
I'm glad to hear that mess cleared up for you. I thought about contacting you during it, but most of the numbers I had for you were no longer valid and well, frankly I wasn't certain you'd wish to hear from me. But your baby girl is truly beautiful, San. I'm sure you're proud. And Rachel's kids? Are you friends now after all this time? Now that I never would have expected!
I'm a social worker now, with The Home for Little Wanderers. Though I did have a fairly disastrous attempt at something with Finn after graduation, I haven't yet succeeded in finding someone who can handle the occasionally odd hours of my profession. No children, no pets, unless you count Mr Wriggles. He was a gift from one of the kids I work with when she was adopted, but he died last week, so I don't count him. How about you? Married? Dating? Has anyone managed to tame the savage Lopez spirit? ;)
Q
It was late at night before Santana could check her email again. After dinner was made and bathtimes, storytimes and bedtimes finished, she curled up with Arianna in bed as Rachel slept. She was nursing her daughter as she wrote back to her old friend.
Social worker, huh? That's pretty awesome, I'm sorry to hear about your pet... but you were never really good with animals. I'm sure you'll find someone or someone already found you and is waiting for you to pop that blonde head up and look around, you were never really good at realizing what was happening around you.
After being married for 8 years and divorced for close to 5 now, the topic of marriage has come up. I ran into Rachel a few years back before her husband died. She married Jesse St. James from high school if you didn't know and had those beautiful kids with him. Kayla is close to 10, Cale is 6, Alex is almost 4. They actually live with me and have for about three years. Jesse died before Alex was born and they have kinda become my family... and I've been with Rachel for almost three years.
I don't know if the Lopez spirit is tamed, but more so tired as fuck with four kids.
If just getting an email from Santana had almost drenched her monitor, the contents of the last one covered it. As she scrambled for a towel to clean up the mess, she tried to get her mind around the series of facts the other woman had just casually tossed her lap. Cleaning things up, she quickly shot off another email.
You're with Rachel? Seriously? Like... for real? Rachel Berry? I mean, I'd heard about Jesse, but... you're together? Oh my gosh, I can't hardly believe it.
She hit send, feeling an odd hollowness in her chest. She didn't know if it was sadness, loneliness, or perhaps even jealousy. Santana found someone. Found Rachel.
All she had was a dead goldfish's empty bowl.
Sleep was something Santana didn't do anymore. She just laid there and rolled around until Rachel mumbled at her to stop. She got up and checked her email quickly, smiling when she saw the blonde emailed her back.
Yeah. I'm surprised too... it just kinda happened now we're here with the three older kids and Arianna... and now Beth is living with us because Shelby got arrested... it's kinda a cluster of crap. I'm surprised you missed out on all the fun tabloids that have been going around about me, my daughter, your biological daughter, Shelby and Rachel... it's been a treat..
Anyway. yeah. I kinda miss you. I'd like to see you sometime. Crap the baby's awake... write back soon.
S
It felt strange, being in contact with Santana again after all these years. Especially since she was apparently in a fairly committed relationship - with kids, that still kind of blew Quinn's mind - with Rachel Berry of all people. She found herself hurrying to check her inbox each morning and sneaking on to check it during the day and it just made her feel pathetic. She was a grown woman. She should have friends, a boyfriend, girlfriend, something.
But she didn't, so she clung to the emails from Santana and occasionally during slow moments at work let herself imagine how things could have been if she'd just been a little braver in high school. So when she woke up to a fresh email, she found herself smiling. Right up until she saw the mention of Beth.
Beth? Shelby's arrested? Santana, what is going on with my little girl?! Is she okay? She's not hurt is she?
As she calmed down, she typed another line at the bottom of the email before hitting send.
What's she like?
Yeah. She wants to meet you. Maybe just something about knowing who she comes from. She doesn't want to meet Puck, he's been around for the last year or so trying to make Rachel convince me to sign him to my label... but Beth doesn't want anything to do with him. Beth just wants to know. She doesn't want you to be her mom, but I think she wants to know you.
Think about it okay? If you can't, she'll understand.
I want to know her too. I wish I could have kept her. It's not very likely I'll have a child of my own at this point, so I just want to know that I did something right. That I gave her the best chance for happiness. I tried to find her, you know. I never thought to ask Rachel or Puck.
I'm just not sure if I can meet her and not want to be in her life. Not want her in my life. I never thought I'd have the chance to know what happened to her, if she is happy or okay. I'll think about it, San. I will.
Quinn allowed herself a moment of weakness before signing off.
And, San, do you think maybe we could keep talking like this? Or maybe meet up if you're in Boston or I get to NYC? I've missed you.
Q
She's a good kid. Quinn she's really good. She's very loving, very secure and compassionate... I just think she wants to know what you're like. She's 16 you know... she was surpised when I was telling her about you, that you had her when you were her age. I think she understands why you didn't keep her.
I want you to stay in my life. I don't have anyone other than Rachel. I haven't had a friend since I left for college... I want you to meet my baby and I want to see you.
You don't have to play her up, San. She spent nine months inside of me, so she's got to have picked up some of my amazingness right? ;) And she's had Rachel in her life without any stupid high school crap to fuck it up. Maybe we picked on her in high school, but we both know it's because she already had that innate self confidence we wanted. But you probably know that since you let her win you.
I don't want to lose you again. Outside of work, right now you and these emails are all I have approaching a social life. And I want to meet the offspring of the infamous Santana Lopez! Rachel doesn't have her in plaid and argyle does she? ;)
Brown skin and plaid and argyle DO NOT MIX! Poor baby... Baby only wears solid colors and when Cale dresses her sometimes batman onsies. Yeah, Rachel's self confidence was pretty annoying. She got less annoying. I think the babies and Jesse's death took it down a few notches. And you're right, Beth had no chance to not be amazing...
Haha! I'm glad the old Santana is still in that little paragon of domesticity. I'd hate it if you lost your old spark. Don't let the hobbit and the mini-hobbits keep you down! :)
Rachel's son likes Batman too? Wow, did you find a custom-made family or what? ;) But I want to see you some time, San. Let me know if you're ever on your way to Boston and I'll meet you at the station. I'll even buy the first couple rounds. ;)
Give me a couple of days to get things straight in my head about Beth though. Right now, I really want to meet her, but I'm not sure my knee-jerk reaction is the right one.
Mmm. We might needs to hold off on the drinking for the first few visits, I'm breastfeeding and I don't really wanna give my kid brain-damage. Yeah, Batman with one and Alex likes to wake up his little sister to kiss her and tell her he loves her. Then Kayla almost got recruited by Sue for gymnastics... my life is crazy... But totally take your time and think about it and I'll see if I can slip away to come visit boston?
Oh, right. I never had the chance to breastfeed, so I forgot. Raincheck then, but I definitely want to go drinking with my oldest friend someday. And it'll even be legal this time! ;)
Please come. It'll be nice to get away from work for a while. It's kind of my life these days.
Can we please, please, please eat some meat when I come see you? I haven't had it in like three years save the burger I snuck when I was four months pregnant, and I'm craving it!
Yeah we gotta get you out on the town. Get you laid. You sound wound tight from two states away!
Oh my god, you let her take meat away from you too? You need a burger stat! But as for me getting laid, I'm a lot pickier since Beth. Unless you're offering? :p
Santana rolled her eyes when she read Quinn's email and quickly replied.
I believe I offered once and you said you weren't that into that... :P Plus... just had a baby not so sexy right now. I'm sure you can find yourself a nice drunk college grad to bang.
Ew, never. I was a drunk college grad, I don't want to be on the other end of that too. Oh well. My loss. And I highly doubt having a baby is enough to make Santana Lopez anything less than smoking hot as always. :)
You never know... could have gotten reallllly fat in the last few years. Or like got bad plastic surgery.
Oh, I know. I wasn't Sue Sylvester's head cheerio so young for nothing, San. Trust me, you're still as sexy as always. ;)
Hot damn, Fabray. Did you google me or something? Did you find anything fun? I pay people to do that for me now to make sure nothing too bad comes out, but I'm sure something shook free? Anything scandelous?
I could say swimsuits, but that was pre-baby. Post-baby, I've seen video of you working out. Damn, Lopez, that's enough to get any girl hot under the collar, but then you go and take your shirt off and keep going with just that sports bra? Are you trying to give me a complex? I didn't look near that good after Beth!
I mean you looked pretty hot with pink hair :P Yeah, I'm just like freaked that I'm no longer attractive after having my daughter. Plus, I've more or less been told I can't return to work until she's at least 6 months... I mean damn it's my fucking company :(. I'm just bored out of my mind and in a funk... working out helps me not think about it.
Plus, you're a fucking creeper.
Come visit. We could both use the vacation from real life.
Okay.
Chapter Eighteen