Beauty, race, and reclaiming my anger

[thedeadparrot]

I have been angry lately because I feel like have a lot of anger to make up for. I've been thinking about race in general and my race in particular, and how I've spent so much of my life identifying as white because it was easier, because it was expected of me, and I've been trying harder lately to say, "No. Fuck that shit. That's not who I am.

Comments

[thedeadparrot]

Thanks for the encouragement! I was feeling hesitant, because so many people have been saying similar things but much better. It really wouldn't be here without you. :)

[leiascully]

Thank you for this! I am always glad to read your perspective on any issue, but especially glad about this, given the sporadic discussions recently.

That's definitely not an insignificant detail, and I'm sorry that people have not understood your anger over it.

[thedeadparrot]

Yeah, the convergence of Avatar racefail and SFF racefail has been kind of unfortunate. Or not. A lot of amazing writing has been coming out of it.

And thanks! I've been wondering if I'm just being crazy for a while.

[leiascully]

You are not crazy! I feel like blue eyes are an unrealistic and unnecessary detail intended to make it clear how a foreigner could be desirable. Pasted on, as we say on the internet. Making the exotic approachable enough to shag is not an appropriate use of detail, plus it makes her sound like a Mary Sue.

I feel...many things about this topic. And granted, I am more educated about it than the average white girl on the internet, but I still feel like I can't really join the discussion without having privilege, so I will keep mum for a while.

[hannahrorlove]

It's not petty. Things like this that say a person as a member of their culture isn't enough that they need something from another group isn't at all justifiable. Beautiful enough, enough of a person, anything.

Hold onto your anger. Learn how to use it.

[thedeadparrot]

I am totally holding on to my anger, and yeah, there's a lot of it.

My pet theory behind the 'blue eyes' thing is that Golden was all like, "They all look alike! How do I make sure everyone knows how much prettier this one is than the others? ... Eureka! I have an idea!"

Which, yeah. Unexamined prejudices, much?

[stars_inthe_sky]

Re: Your response to Disney princesses--what's your take on Mulan?

[thedeadparrot]

Mulan came out way too late to have as much of an impact as my watching and rewatching of Cinderella as a kid did, for example, but I love Mulan and that movie a lot. It's not perfect, not by any means, but I think it definitely was several steps up.

And while I can appreciate the movie's messages of agency and personal power today, if it'd earlier, I doubt it would have changed my perspectives on beauty. Mulan is beautiful, but her beauty isn't emphasized the same way it is with say, Sleeping Beauty. I appreciate that about Mulan a lot now.

But as a kid, I definitely got the message that women are there to be beautiful, and Mulan's self-sufficiency wouldn't something to be proud of, but rather a failure on her part to be beautiful enough to get some guy to do it for her. Which would have just contributed to the race-related complications.

Yeahhhh. I wonder how people can claim they raise their kids in a completely gender-neutral environment. It's so impossible, it's mindboggling.

[stars_inthe_sky]

I don't think raising kids gender-neutrally is possibly...at least not at the moment in this society. My parents managed a next best thing of sorts, raising my sisters and I with the "of course you can be whatever you want to be" mentality, but I, at least, am still always hyperaware of gender and religion in a lot of rooms. Of course, that mix of feminism and Julia Roberts movies has resulted in three girls who'd like to meet Prince Charming but pay for their own dinners, etc.

In any case, pop culture is strange. Come sit in on a lecture of my Arabian Nights class--the Western world uses those as such a big lens for viewing the Arab world, and it is every bit as problematic.

[dandelion_black]

I'm glad you posted this, I like hearing other perspectives.

[thedeadparrot]

I'm glad you read it. There's nothing more depressing than talking to an empty room.