Beauty, race, and reclaiming my anger

[thedeadparrot]

I have been angry lately because I feel like have a lot of anger to make up for. I've been thinking about race in general and my race in particular, and how I've spent so much of my life identifying as white because it was easier, because it was expected of me, and I've been trying harder lately to say, "No. Fuck that shit. That's not who I am.

Comments

[elspethdixon]

*here via someone's delicious links

[thedeadparrot]

Yeah, the eye surgeries FREAKED ME THE FUCK OUT when I read about them the first time. I found it kind of horrifying, myself. But at the same time, I naturally have a double fold in my eyelid, so in a lot of ways, I really can't speak to exactly what sort of cultural pressures other people experience in order to make them want to get them.

Yeah, there's so much wrong with that book now that I look back on it. I was too young to have really learned about the Asian prostitute trope at the time, but yeah, it plays into some incredibly creepy cultural assumptions. Golden really does sound like an asshole, too.

Also, yeah, I've been watching Racefail '09 from the sidelines, because I don't know how to talk about these issues as well as others can, but hopefully I'll learn, so that the next time around, I can speak up.

[sarcasm_hime]

*also here via links, rather late

[thedeadparrot]

I think it's important to not think of myself as white, mostly because people don't see me as white; they don't treat me like a white person. Identifying as white means that a lot of what I experience doesn't make any sense especially when I compare my experiences to that of my white friends

[swatkat24]

There is a lot in this I could identify with. The fetish for 'fair' skin, for 'unusually coloured' eyes... Sigh. Thank you for writing this. ♥

[thedeadparrot]

Yeah, it's so unfortunate, right? All the cultural messages we've been sent about ourselves, about our race(s). I'm glad it spoke to you as well. It's nice to have other people who understand. :)

testify!

[ignazwisdom]

Thank you for posting this.

testify indeed!

[thedeadparrot]

I'm glad you read it. :)

[deelaundry]

You are an awesome person whom I've always admired.

It's not all in my head simply because it hurts me more than it hurts them. My anger is real, and my anger is important, and my anger shouldn't be pushed down, pushed away.

This is SO TRUE. I'm glad you've said it and hope you repeat as much as necessary for us all to remember. And as one who's no doubt done the blank stare in the past, I'm sorry for contributing to an atmosphere where you ever felt it might not be true.

[thedeadparrot]

Thank you for saying this. I've been telling myself to speak up more and to not be afraid of my anger, but at the same time, it's nice to have some outside encouragement. :)