Stolen Moments 2/?
Thanks to everyone who read and left me feedback to the first chapter, I love you!
Chapter 1 - http://thecon12.livejournal.com/1316.html
Chapter 3 - http://thecon12.livejournal.com/1887.html and http://thecon12.livejournal.com/2137.html
Chapter 4 - http://thecon12.livejournal.com/2593.html
Chapter 5 - http://thecon12.livejournal.com/2973.html and http://thecon12.livejournal.com/3184.html
Chapter 2 - Stolen Moments
Callie rubbed her eyes tiredly as she sat on the stairs leaning against the railing, it was the early hours of the morning and her mind kept replaying the scene of Cristina’s unconscious body; the monitor beating away steadily as she breathed in and out in the untouched silence of the room. She couldn’t help but think how one minute Cristina had been fine, probably excited about the bloody trauma that would arrive, and the next she’d been rushed inside for life saving surgery. If that didn’t prove that in a moment anything could happen, Callie wasn’t sure what would.
Erica had stayed with her, silently holding her hand until her pager beeped, indicating that she had to go and help save someone else’s life. She’d given Callie’s hand a final squeeze and pulled away slowly until their fingers were no longer entwined before giving Callie a knowing smile and rushing off towards the emergency she’d been called to.
The past two weeks coupled with these latest twenty-four hours had left Callie completely and utterly exhausted; her body ached and her head throbbed and she closed her eyes willing the pain to subside.
Callie heard the door to the stairwell creek and opened her eyes, “Hey,” she watched as Erica lingered in the doorway and realized she was still unsure if they were back on talking terms again.
Erica saw Callie’s eyes flicker with panic and allowed herself to walk the few steps between them, crouching down in front of her to bring them eye level and reached out to carefully run the tips of her fingers across the gash on Callie’s forehead.
“You should really have let someone take a look at this you know; it needs stitches,” Erica eyes were focused on the gash as her fingertips moved lightly over it.
Callie observed Erica’s face as she let her run her fingertips across her forehead; enjoying the simple closeness between them, “Ouch,” Callie gritted her teeth and winced as Erica’s fingers stumbled across a particular delicate spot and reached up to still Erica’s hand with her own; drawing blue eyes to brown, “I just needed to know Cristina would be okay; I didn’t have time to worry about this little thing.”
“Well I dropped by Cristina’s room before I came looking for you; she’s going to be fine now, and she’s awake. So why don’t you let me clean that cut up for you?”
Callie couldn’t tear her eyes away from Erica’s; her blue depths were filled with concern that made Callie want to fall into her arms and never let go. Two weeks without any contact and then here she is, right in front of her and talking as if things weren’t awkward between them at all, “I don’t want stitches; they hurt.”
Erica gave her a small smile in response, “I’ll be gentle,” and held out her hand; watching as Callie’s eyes moved back and forth between her face and her hand, “I promise.”
Callie bit her lip nervously as Erica offered her her hand, and waited until she heard Erica offer her promise in the gentle tone she spoke only to her in before taking it in her own hand and letting Erica walk her into an empty patient room.
Erica instructed Callie to sit on the stool at the end of the bed as she gathered all the equipment she would need to clean and stitch the cut; pulling another stool to sit in front of her; next to the table of equipment she’d prepared. Callie watched intently as Erica pulled on a pair of gloves and opened the sterilised packets containing the antiseptic solution and swab.
Erica gave her a small smile, “Ready?”
Callie took an intake of breath and nodded, “Yeah I’m ready.”
Erica tipped the antiseptic solution onto the swab and raised her left hand to hold the side of Callie’s face as she used her right hand to carefully roll the swab across the gash, making sure it was clean before throwing it away and opening the next packet. She lifted the metal instrument to Callie’s forehead; using the needle to attentively begin placing the sutures.
Callie bit her lip as she watched Erica work intensely; she knew the cardio-goddess was being as gentle as possible but it still stung like a bitch. She couldn’t help but notice that Erica’s eyes stayed trained to her cut; never wavering. Callie cursed a few times but Erica continued, not wanting to draw Callie’s pain out.
After Erica had finished five carefully placed stitches she lowered her eyes to Callie’s, “All done. I’m not Sloan but I’m pretty sure I haven’t left you disfigured.”
Callie smiled, “I don’t doubt that your work was anything less than flawless Erica.”
Erica pushed back her stool and pulled off her gloves, throwing them on top of the used equipment, “And I didn’t think you’d be such a baby when it came to having a few stitches,” she smiled teasingly.
Callie laughed and then narrowed her eyes, “It hurts! I know we tell people it doesn’t but it’s different when you go from being the doctor to the patient.”
Erica let out a small laugh and moved towards Callie, titling the light so that it was angled at her forehead as she ran her fingers over the newly sutured wound. Callie couldn’t help her breath catching as she did so; Erica lowered her eyes from the wound and stopped when her eyes landed on Callie’s, “I don’t hate you Cal…I could never hate you,” breathing from her lips.
Callie swallowed the lump in her throat and opened her mouth as she tried to find the right words, but nothing seemed to come out. She was frozen in place just like she had been on that night.
Erica noticed her Callie’s uncomfortable silence and decided to help her out, “Sloan told me.”
Callie swallowed, “Oh I erm…I didn’t mean…I’m-”
“It’s okay, he was right, I was being a bitch,” Callie’s eyes widened in horror at the thought of what Mark might have said but Erica just gave her a sad smile, “I’ve been avoiding you, and I shouldn’t have; I’m sorry.”
Callie felt as if her head were pounding as Erica’s words reached her ears; finding her voice she whispered, “It’s okay.”
Erica shook her head, “No it's not okay...That night we...I just...I was freaking out and I couldn't tell you; I should have told you,” Callie noticed Erica’s cheeks getting red as she averted her eyes and stuttered through what she was trying to say, “I'm sorry I disappeared on you for two weeks,” Erica let her eyes meet Callie’s again, hoping she could see the emotion hidden in them, “I don't hate you Callie.”
Callie knew Erica struggled with her feelings, and although she’d never explained why she was so guarded, Callie knew she’d been one of the privileged few that had been allowed slightly closer to the real Erica Hahn; and it was one of the things she found so endearing about her. In that moment as Callie took in the intensity of her crystal blue eyes, she couldn’t help feeling her own eyes welling with tears.
Erica watched as Callie quickly squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to hide her tears but was unsuccessful as a few managed to escape down her cheeks. Hating herself for the pain she’d caused her best friend she stepped closer and used the back of her knuckles to wipe the drops away from her soft skin. As Callie opened her eyes to meet hers again, Erica lifted her hand to brush a few stray hairs from Callie’s forehead, raising her other hand to cup Callie’s cheek as she placed a tender kiss on the cut she’d taken care of.
Callie instinctively closed her eyes as she felt the lingering pressure of Erica’s soft lips against her skin and reached up to cover the hand Erica had on her face with her own.
Erica leaned back enough so that her eyes could find Callie’s again, “I want to talk to you about what’s going on Cal; I really do,” She lifted her hand to look at her watch, “But it’s 5.23am; I’ve been on for 58 hours, and I’m exhausted,” Callie smiled and let out a small sigh, “You on the other hand have been knocked back by an explosion, seen Yang messed up and waited up to make sure she’s alright, you must be dead on your feet; so unless you’re secretly wonder-woman Torres, I suggest we get some sleep and talk about it tomorrow.”
Callie laughed as Erica teased her, feeling the tension of the past two weeks leaving her body completely, and watched as Erica smiled back at her, raising her eyebrow to prompt her to answer, “Sounds like a very smart plan; you really must be the genius they say you are Dr Hahn,” Callie wiggled her eyebrows as Erica broke out in laughter and knew that there were some moments that were worth waiting for.
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When Callie arrived at Seattle Grace Hospital, fully refreshed and caught up on much needed sleep, a good fifteen hours after she’d last been there; the first thing she wanted to do was go and see Cristina. After Erica had sutured her cut and promised to speak to her tomorrow, she’d walked Callie to the residents’ locker room and given her hand a comforting squeeze before heading off to the attendings’ own locker room to grab her stuff and head home. Callie had gotten changed and walked down the darkened hallway towards Cristina’s room; glad to still see the glowing light shining beneath the door. Cristina had been awake when Callie knocked quietly and peered her head into the room; sitting propped up against cushions and staring straight ahead. Callie had gone into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, drawing Cristina’s eyes to her own. Callie had stayed and talked to her for over an hour with Cristina simply nodding as she sat and listened in silence; only speaking out when Callie was leaving to ask if she could bring her some clothes from their apartment.
Callie changed into her scrubs and headed to Cristina’s room, knocking lightly on the open door before she entered, getting the attention of her roommate and Meredith, “Hey, how are you feeling today?”
Cristina shrugged, “I feel better, I want to get back to work,” Callie saw Meredith shake her head and smile, “Did you bring me the crap I asked you for Torres or what?”
Callie sighed and held up the bag she’d filled with clothes and magazines to keep Cristina occupied, “Of course I did, wouldn’t want to let my friend suffer in that horrible hospital gown,” she teased and Cristina scoffed.
“Just pass me the bag,” Callie handed it over and gave her a big playful smile, “We are so not friends Torres....but thanks for bringing me my crap.”
Callie saw Meredith smirk and laughed, “No problem Yang; Just make sure you rest, we wouldn’t want you overdoing yourself and having to stay in recovery any longer than necessary,” Cristina shot her another unsatisfied look as she turned to leave; calling back over her shoulder, “I’ll come check on you before I leave tonight.”
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As Callie headed to do her patient rounds she’d heard her pager beep and as she unclipped it from her scrubs and lifted it to her eyes, she was pleased to see it was a message from Erica: “Lunch? Normal time, our table? E x” and she made sure she replied; trying not to sound to over the top happy about it.
When she finally had made it home in the early hours of the morning, she had showered, grabbed something to eat and then at long last settled down on the couch to grab some sleep; however Callie hadn’t been able to get her mind to shut off and stop replaying the events that had happened between her and Erica over the last few hours. She knew Erica actually talking to her was a big step and she couldn’t help the nervousness that settled into her stomach as she thought about what she’d say to her blonde headed friend when they next saw each other; what made it worse was that she had no idea what Erica was going to say to her.
When lunch time finally came around Callie nervously headed to the cafeteria and grabbed two trays, filling them with their normal salads and cups of coffee and headed over to their usual table to wait for Erica. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves and tried once again to figure out what she was going to say; after all this was new to her and it was confusing in a really overwhelming, indescribable way. Callie took a sip of her coffee and leaned back in the chair, trying to relax her muscles; she knew she was attracted to Erica; she just needed to figure out when it first started.
Callie sighed as she slumped down into the chair; making Erica turn away from her lunch and give her a concerned look, “You okay Torres?”
Callie lifted her hands and placed the brown envelope on the table, pushing it towards Erica to indicate what the problem was, “George gave me our divorce papers today.”
Erica wiped her hands on her napkin and pulled the envelope into her hands; drawing out the stack of white paper; allowing her eyes to skim over it. Callie watched Erica’s brow furrow as she read through her divorce papers, noting how her blue eyes narrowed in irritation. Erica finished reading and lowered the papers back onto the table, “I’m sorry Callie.”
Callie gave her a sad smile, “I haven’t been able to sign them yet. I know I should but I just never thought I’d be one of those people who got divorced,” Erica was listening silently as Callie lifted her hand to wipe away the tears escaping from her eyes, “I just thought that when I got married that would be it, you know? I’d be set for the rest of my life because I’d found the person I was meant to be with.”
As Erica opened her mouth to reply Callie’s eyes moved swiftly from hers and past her head; causing her to turn and see what had suddenly grabbed her friend’s attention and immediately regretted it; George was sitting close with Izzie Stevens, as they looked at each other lovingly, laughing and giving out affectionate touches. Erica quickly turned back around and moved her chair so that she was blocking Callie’s view of them.
Callie couldn’t help the way her chest still clenched as she watched them together; more tears spilling from her eyes. Erica blocked her vision and reached out to cover her hand, “Callie…”
“I know, I know, you must think I’m a pathetic weak loser, who’s still in love with her scumbag husband that cheated on her for the hot stacked blonde model-”
Erica rubbed her thumb over her hand and passed her a spare napkin to wipe her eyes, “No, I was going to say that if that idiot couldn’t be bothered to choose you, to put you before his friends, then he never deserved to love you in the first place,” Erica made sure her eyes were locked on Callie’s as she spoke, wanting her to know she meant every word, “You deserve more, and so you should let him go, so that you can find someone else; someone who is wiling to make you their everything. O’Malley wasn’t the one for you Cal, because true love is selfless; it takes an equal balance of 50-50 to work, and from what I can tell you were pulling all the weight in that relationship.”
Callie sniffled as she wiped her eyes; giving Erica a genuine smile, “Can I borrow a pen?” Erica pulled a silver cased pen from her lab coat pocket and handed it to her; giving her an encouraging smile as she watched Callie sign her name on the divorce papers.
As Callie watched George leave the cafeteria laughing with Izzie she knew that Erica had been right that day, George hadn’t been the one for her, and Izzie hadn’t been the one for him; but maybe she should be thankful for their little affair because it reminded her that she was worth more, and she allowed herself to think that maybe, just maybe, Erica might have known all along that she could be the one to prove to her what she had been missing.
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Callie Torres was normally a happy person, she took everything at face value and accepted that it was what it was; and she expected no more and no less. But there were sometimes when she wanted more, and Erica arranging to meet her for lunch had been one of those times.
Callie had waited and waited for Erica to arrive, but as she watched the hands of the clock tick by, she realised that she’d been sitting on her own for nearly an hour, and she knew Erica wasn’t going to come. She’d bitten her lip in annoyance and accidentally drawn blood as she shoved the untouched food into the trash and headed back to the surgical wing; if Erica Hahn didn’t want to talk to her, then that was fine, she was done feeling guilty for ruining their friendship and she was sick of trying to fix it on her own.
Callie folded shut the chart she was writing in, placing it back in the rack as she leaned her elbows against the nurses’ station, bringing her hands up to cup her face; lazily rubbing her tired eyes.
Erica pulled her polka-dot scrub cap from her head as she rounded the corner and spotted Callie leaning against counter; Erica reached her and leaned back against the desk, twiddling the cap in her hands, “Hey,” Callie looked up at the sound of her voice, “I wanted to see-”
Callie’s brow knitted as she turned to look at the cardio surgeon, and couldn’t help the irritation creeping into her voice, “You didn’t show up at lunch, and I haven’t seen you all afternoon, so just save whatever you have to say; I get it alright? So just leave me alone and go away Erica,” Callie turned her gaze away from her and picked up another chart from the rack.
Erica grabbed Callie’s wrist and turned her back around so that she was facing her again, “Hey, I got stuck in an emergency surgery and I couldn’t page you; I’m sorry I miss-”
Callie pulled her wrist free and angrily cut Erica off again, “Whatever Dr Hahn; you haven’t even been able to look at me in the last couple of weeks, I should have known your promise was empty and you wouldn’t show,” Callie couldn’t stop her eyes from tearing up, there was something about Erica over these last two weeks that made her ache with hurt.
“Callie,” Erica grabbed her wrist again and tugged Callie closer, “Shut up and let me talk would you?” Callie gritted her teeth to stop from pulling away again, “I would have been there at lunch if it wasn’t for that surgery, I’ve been there for the last five hours and I didn’t have time to leave you a message; I’m sorry. But I just came over here to see if you wanted to come and grab a coffee with me now to make up for it. I want to talk to you,” Erica let her eyes bore into Callie’s, “Please?”
Callie swallowed the lump in her throat as she relaxed her face and stared at Erica in surprise, “So you haven’t gone back to avoiding me?”
“No, of course I haven’t,” Erica shook her head and looked a little hurt by Callie’s assumptions, “Please come and have coffee with me Cal…I’ll even pay,” she added with a playful smile.
Callie smiled apologetically, before teasing the blonde back, “Will you buy me a pastry to make up for lunch too?”
Erica let out a laugh, “Yeah Torres I’ll buy you a pastry; so will you please come and grab a coffee with me?”
Callie nodded and smiled, “Yeah Erica, I’d love to come and have coffee with you.”
They walked to the third floor coffee stand in silence, neither knowing where to start with this inevitable conversation. Erica ordered their coffees and handed over the money while Callie grabbed a pastry from the basket. Erica nodded her head to the railing that looked down on the level below and Callie led the way; leaning her elbow against it and accepting her coffee from Erica with her spare hand. They stood there drinking their coffees and looking over the railing for awhile, both daring glances at the other and getting caught out, causing them to laugh.
“This should be easier right?” Callie asked after she caught Erica looking at her for what seemed to be the tenth time.
Erica sighed and looked around, “Maybe it’s because there’s people around. I’d feel better if we could talk in private.”
Callie glanced around and took in the busy hustle of the hospital, nodding in agreement, “You could come over to the apartment tonight; Yang’s got to stay here for another week or so. We could grab a couple of bottles of wine, relax, and talk like we normally do?”
Erica saw Callie’s cheeks flush slightly as she realized what her suggestion might lead to but Erica just gave her a smile, “That sounds like a plan. I’m off at 8pm, what time are you off?”
“I’m off at 9pm; I could give you the key if you wanted to let yourself in and wait?”
“Why don’t I go home, shower and change, and grab the wine on my way over? That way we’ll both be there at the same time,” Erica gave her a small smile and Callie nodded in agreement, “You’ve got something,” Erica pointed to her lips and when Callie’s eyes widened in confusion, Erica reached out and brushed the stray piece of pastry from the top of her lip, “It’s gone.”
Callie smiled embarrassed at herself, and laughed timidly, “I should have a bib or something when I eat food, I’m always making a mess; it’s humiliating.”
Erica smiled and her blue eyes twinkled as they stared into Callie’s, “I think it’s cute,” Callie raised an eyebrow and Erica looked away quickly; taking another sip of her coffee. Callie followed her example and took a sip of her own coffee, watching as the people below them continued with their busy lives; completely unaware of the stolen moment they’d just missed.
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Callie had just finished drying her hair when she heard the knock at the door; checking herself in the mirror one last time, she headed to the door and took in a deep breath, “Hey,” Erica was standing nervously, holding a bottle of wine in each hand; not quite able to meet Callie’s eyes.
Callie pulled the door back further and gestured for Erica to come in; pushing shut the door behind them and heading into the kitchen to grab the wine glasses, “I got a bottle of both because one’s just never enough.”
Callie laughed and placed the glasses on the counter; taking the bottle of wine Erica held out to her and poured them both a large glass, “You want to sit down?” Erica nodded and took a long drink of the luxurious red liquid, enjoying the way it ran down her throat; before she followed Callie to the couch.
Callie sat down so that she was angled enough to be able to see Erica’s face as they talked, and as the blonde surgeon sat down on the couch with her she made sure to leave a good deal of space between them; which didn’t go unnoticed. Callie let out a shaky breath as she tried to open her mouth to begin the conversation; after all starting it was the hardest part, “So…”
“I’m not gay if that’s what you think!” Erica hadn’t meant to blurt it out but she couldn’t think of anything else to say; Callie laughed as she saw the intense look on Erica’s face, which quickly changed to anger, “Don’t laugh at me Callie.”
Callie stopped laughing straight away, realizing it had clearly been the wrong thing to do, “I'm sorry,” Callie shot Erica an apologetic smile and watched as Erica let out a shallow breath, “It's just that I've seen you dance with guys Erica, nothing about that suggested to me you were gay okay?”
Erica nodded, “Okay,” and then took a good few sips of her wine, before turning to look back at Callie, “I spent all afternoon after I saw you thinking about what I should say when I got here, but the truth is I have absolutely no idea what I’m supposed to say to you Callie,” She lifted a hand to her forehead and brushed aside some of her blonde locks.
“How do you think I feel? I’ve been trying to figure out what to say to you for the past two weeks. I keep having conversations with myself in my head about what I should say but it all seems so jumbled,” Callie agreed.
Erica twisted in her seat so that she was angled to face Callie and let her eyes travel over her face, taking everything about her in; making Callie fidget uncomfortably, “You kissed me,” Erica breathed when her eyes landed back on Callie’s.
Callie nibbled her bottom lip as Erica’s blue eyes searched hers, “Yeah…well you kissed me back.”
“Yeah,” Erica closed her eyes and took in a few deep breaths to steady her voice, “I wanted you to kiss me,” She slowly lifted her eyes from the ground to meet delicious brown orbs.
Callie swallowed the lump in her throat and felt her ears ringing from Erica’s unexpected confession, “Well I wanted to kiss you too,” Callie watched as a red blush travelled up Erica’s neck and settled on the fair skin of her cheeks.
“But after Addison said…You’re sleeping with Sloan,” Erica cautiously accused, unable to keep her eyes on Callie’s face, not wanting to see her reaction.
Callie leaned forward and placed her wine glass on the coffee table and then scooted closer to Erica, unwrapping her fingers from around her own glass and placed that on the table too; her hand covering Erica’s to draw her attention, “I was sleeping with Mark; I was freaked out and Mark was just…convenient. But I stopped sleeping with him,” Callie paused as she tried to find the right words, “Mark helped me realize that the reason I was sleeping with him was because I was really thinking about you,” Erica’s eyes widened in disbelief and Callie gave her a smile, “I can’t stop thinking about you Erica.”
Callie let her thumb trace lazy patterns over the soft skin of Erica’s hand as she made her brave confession and looked away as Erica opened her mouth to reply, “I can’t stop thinking about you either Cal,” breathing out from her lips, making Callie’s eyes instantly lock onto hers again, “I think it’s safe to say that I’m pretty damn sure that I’m crazy about you,” Callie let out a happy sigh and Erica smiled, “But knowing that really scares the shit out of me; I’m out of my depth here, I don’t know what any of this means.”
Callie saw Erica’s eyes tear up; quickly turning her face away so that Callie wouldn’t see, “I feel exactly the same as you Erica; trust me I’m terrified of having feelings for you,” Callie lifted her hand to cup Erica’s cheek and bring her face back to face her; giving her a reassuring smile, “But I’m even more terrified to not have feelings for you…You make me happy.”
Erica let out a laugh and smiled as Callie wiped away the tears that had managed to escape from her eyes, “You make me happy too; you really are amazing Torres.”
Callie laughed, “Well I try to be,” she lifted Erica’s hands to her mouth and placed a gentle kiss across her knuckles, “I want to be with you Erica.”
“I want to be with you too,” Erica leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on Callie’s cheek and pulled back in time to see a blush appearing on her caramel skin, “What’d we do now?”
Callie thought for a moment and then shrugged, “I say we just do what we normally do except now we...be coupley.”
Erica raised an eyebrow, “Be coupley? What the hell does that even mean?”
Callie laughed at the bemused look on Erica’s face, “You know, like we could maybe go on a date, and do this,” Callie let her fingers entwine with Erica’s; loving the way their hands just seemed to fit together. Callie saw Erica smile and leaned her head slowly towards her, murmuring “And maybe we could,” Erica instinctively moved forward; letting their lips lightly brush.
Callie closed her eyes as Erica leaned in to her and felt their lips brush; both jumping apart as a loud ringtone filled the silence. She grabbed her phone from the table and flicked it open, ending the noise and discovering who had interrupted them. Callie narrowed her eyes at the text; Yang was so going to pay for this tomorrow.
“Sorry, it was Cristina,” Callie explained as she chucked the phone back onto the table and turned to see Erica standing.
“It’s late, I should go,” Erica stumbled, clearly nervous as she headed to the kitchen to retrieve her bag. Callie glanced at the clock, 2.30am, damn it was late and they were both on at 6am.
Callie followed Erica into the kitchen and held out her hand; Erica smiled and reached out to take it, letting Callie lead her to the door. Callie opened it but didn’t let go of Erica’s hand, “We’re good right?”
“Yeah we’re good,” Erica smiled happily, “Really good,” she leaned in and placed a kiss on Callie’s cheek, pulling back and muttering, “See you at work,” as she left.
Callie closed the door and turned to lean against it; shutting her eyes, revelling in the way the night had gone. If there was one reason Callie hated phones, it was because of their terrible timing, and if there was one reason why Erica hated Cristina, Callie was pretty sure this one would knock any surgical issues off the top spot; Yang was so going to pay the price for ruining the moment they’d both been waiting for the past two weeks.
Chapter 1 - http://thecon12.livejournal.com/1316.html
Chapter 3 - http://thecon12.livejournal.com/1887.html and http://thecon12.livejournal.com/2137.html
Chapter 4 - http://thecon12.livejournal.com/2593.html
Chapter 5 - http://thecon12.livejournal.com/2973.html and http://thecon12.livejournal.com/3184.html
Chapter 2 - Stolen Moments
Callie rubbed her eyes tiredly as she sat on the stairs leaning against the railing, it was the early hours of the morning and her mind kept replaying the scene of Cristina’s unconscious body; the monitor beating away steadily as she breathed in and out in the untouched silence of the room. She couldn’t help but think how one minute Cristina had been fine, probably excited about the bloody trauma that would arrive, and the next she’d been rushed inside for life saving surgery. If that didn’t prove that in a moment anything could happen, Callie wasn’t sure what would.
Erica had stayed with her, silently holding her hand until her pager beeped, indicating that she had to go and help save someone else’s life. She’d given Callie’s hand a final squeeze and pulled away slowly until their fingers were no longer entwined before giving Callie a knowing smile and rushing off towards the emergency she’d been called to.
The past two weeks coupled with these latest twenty-four hours had left Callie completely and utterly exhausted; her body ached and her head throbbed and she closed her eyes willing the pain to subside.
Callie heard the door to the stairwell creek and opened her eyes, “Hey,” she watched as Erica lingered in the doorway and realized she was still unsure if they were back on talking terms again.
Erica saw Callie’s eyes flicker with panic and allowed herself to walk the few steps between them, crouching down in front of her to bring them eye level and reached out to carefully run the tips of her fingers across the gash on Callie’s forehead.
“You should really have let someone take a look at this you know; it needs stitches,” Erica eyes were focused on the gash as her fingertips moved lightly over it.
Callie observed Erica’s face as she let her run her fingertips across her forehead; enjoying the simple closeness between them, “Ouch,” Callie gritted her teeth and winced as Erica’s fingers stumbled across a particular delicate spot and reached up to still Erica’s hand with her own; drawing blue eyes to brown, “I just needed to know Cristina would be okay; I didn’t have time to worry about this little thing.”
“Well I dropped by Cristina’s room before I came looking for you; she’s going to be fine now, and she’s awake. So why don’t you let me clean that cut up for you?”
Callie couldn’t tear her eyes away from Erica’s; her blue depths were filled with concern that made Callie want to fall into her arms and never let go. Two weeks without any contact and then here she is, right in front of her and talking as if things weren’t awkward between them at all, “I don’t want stitches; they hurt.”
Erica gave her a small smile in response, “I’ll be gentle,” and held out her hand; watching as Callie’s eyes moved back and forth between her face and her hand, “I promise.”
Callie bit her lip nervously as Erica offered her her hand, and waited until she heard Erica offer her promise in the gentle tone she spoke only to her in before taking it in her own hand and letting Erica walk her into an empty patient room.
Erica instructed Callie to sit on the stool at the end of the bed as she gathered all the equipment she would need to clean and stitch the cut; pulling another stool to sit in front of her; next to the table of equipment she’d prepared. Callie watched intently as Erica pulled on a pair of gloves and opened the sterilised packets containing the antiseptic solution and swab.
Erica gave her a small smile, “Ready?”
Callie took an intake of breath and nodded, “Yeah I’m ready.”
Erica tipped the antiseptic solution onto the swab and raised her left hand to hold the side of Callie’s face as she used her right hand to carefully roll the swab across the gash, making sure it was clean before throwing it away and opening the next packet. She lifted the metal instrument to Callie’s forehead; using the needle to attentively begin placing the sutures.
Callie bit her lip as she watched Erica work intensely; she knew the cardio-goddess was being as gentle as possible but it still stung like a bitch. She couldn’t help but notice that Erica’s eyes stayed trained to her cut; never wavering. Callie cursed a few times but Erica continued, not wanting to draw Callie’s pain out.
After Erica had finished five carefully placed stitches she lowered her eyes to Callie’s, “All done. I’m not Sloan but I’m pretty sure I haven’t left you disfigured.”
Callie smiled, “I don’t doubt that your work was anything less than flawless Erica.”
Erica pushed back her stool and pulled off her gloves, throwing them on top of the used equipment, “And I didn’t think you’d be such a baby when it came to having a few stitches,” she smiled teasingly.
Callie laughed and then narrowed her eyes, “It hurts! I know we tell people it doesn’t but it’s different when you go from being the doctor to the patient.”
Erica let out a small laugh and moved towards Callie, titling the light so that it was angled at her forehead as she ran her fingers over the newly sutured wound. Callie couldn’t help her breath catching as she did so; Erica lowered her eyes from the wound and stopped when her eyes landed on Callie’s, “I don’t hate you Cal…I could never hate you,” breathing from her lips.
Callie swallowed the lump in her throat and opened her mouth as she tried to find the right words, but nothing seemed to come out. She was frozen in place just like she had been on that night.
Erica noticed her Callie’s uncomfortable silence and decided to help her out, “Sloan told me.”
Callie swallowed, “Oh I erm…I didn’t mean…I’m-”
“It’s okay, he was right, I was being a bitch,” Callie’s eyes widened in horror at the thought of what Mark might have said but Erica just gave her a sad smile, “I’ve been avoiding you, and I shouldn’t have; I’m sorry.”
Callie felt as if her head were pounding as Erica’s words reached her ears; finding her voice she whispered, “It’s okay.”
Erica shook her head, “No it's not okay...That night we...I just...I was freaking out and I couldn't tell you; I should have told you,” Callie noticed Erica’s cheeks getting red as she averted her eyes and stuttered through what she was trying to say, “I'm sorry I disappeared on you for two weeks,” Erica let her eyes meet Callie’s again, hoping she could see the emotion hidden in them, “I don't hate you Callie.”
Callie knew Erica struggled with her feelings, and although she’d never explained why she was so guarded, Callie knew she’d been one of the privileged few that had been allowed slightly closer to the real Erica Hahn; and it was one of the things she found so endearing about her. In that moment as Callie took in the intensity of her crystal blue eyes, she couldn’t help feeling her own eyes welling with tears.
Erica watched as Callie quickly squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to hide her tears but was unsuccessful as a few managed to escape down her cheeks. Hating herself for the pain she’d caused her best friend she stepped closer and used the back of her knuckles to wipe the drops away from her soft skin. As Callie opened her eyes to meet hers again, Erica lifted her hand to brush a few stray hairs from Callie’s forehead, raising her other hand to cup Callie’s cheek as she placed a tender kiss on the cut she’d taken care of.
Callie instinctively closed her eyes as she felt the lingering pressure of Erica’s soft lips against her skin and reached up to cover the hand Erica had on her face with her own.
Erica leaned back enough so that her eyes could find Callie’s again, “I want to talk to you about what’s going on Cal; I really do,” She lifted her hand to look at her watch, “But it’s 5.23am; I’ve been on for 58 hours, and I’m exhausted,” Callie smiled and let out a small sigh, “You on the other hand have been knocked back by an explosion, seen Yang messed up and waited up to make sure she’s alright, you must be dead on your feet; so unless you’re secretly wonder-woman Torres, I suggest we get some sleep and talk about it tomorrow.”
Callie laughed as Erica teased her, feeling the tension of the past two weeks leaving her body completely, and watched as Erica smiled back at her, raising her eyebrow to prompt her to answer, “Sounds like a very smart plan; you really must be the genius they say you are Dr Hahn,” Callie wiggled her eyebrows as Erica broke out in laughter and knew that there were some moments that were worth waiting for.
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When Callie arrived at Seattle Grace Hospital, fully refreshed and caught up on much needed sleep, a good fifteen hours after she’d last been there; the first thing she wanted to do was go and see Cristina. After Erica had sutured her cut and promised to speak to her tomorrow, she’d walked Callie to the residents’ locker room and given her hand a comforting squeeze before heading off to the attendings’ own locker room to grab her stuff and head home. Callie had gotten changed and walked down the darkened hallway towards Cristina’s room; glad to still see the glowing light shining beneath the door. Cristina had been awake when Callie knocked quietly and peered her head into the room; sitting propped up against cushions and staring straight ahead. Callie had gone into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, drawing Cristina’s eyes to her own. Callie had stayed and talked to her for over an hour with Cristina simply nodding as she sat and listened in silence; only speaking out when Callie was leaving to ask if she could bring her some clothes from their apartment.
Callie changed into her scrubs and headed to Cristina’s room, knocking lightly on the open door before she entered, getting the attention of her roommate and Meredith, “Hey, how are you feeling today?”
Cristina shrugged, “I feel better, I want to get back to work,” Callie saw Meredith shake her head and smile, “Did you bring me the crap I asked you for Torres or what?”
Callie sighed and held up the bag she’d filled with clothes and magazines to keep Cristina occupied, “Of course I did, wouldn’t want to let my friend suffer in that horrible hospital gown,” she teased and Cristina scoffed.
“Just pass me the bag,” Callie handed it over and gave her a big playful smile, “We are so not friends Torres....but thanks for bringing me my crap.”
Callie saw Meredith smirk and laughed, “No problem Yang; Just make sure you rest, we wouldn’t want you overdoing yourself and having to stay in recovery any longer than necessary,” Cristina shot her another unsatisfied look as she turned to leave; calling back over her shoulder, “I’ll come check on you before I leave tonight.”
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As Callie headed to do her patient rounds she’d heard her pager beep and as she unclipped it from her scrubs and lifted it to her eyes, she was pleased to see it was a message from Erica: “Lunch? Normal time, our table? E x” and she made sure she replied; trying not to sound to over the top happy about it.
When she finally had made it home in the early hours of the morning, she had showered, grabbed something to eat and then at long last settled down on the couch to grab some sleep; however Callie hadn’t been able to get her mind to shut off and stop replaying the events that had happened between her and Erica over the last few hours. She knew Erica actually talking to her was a big step and she couldn’t help the nervousness that settled into her stomach as she thought about what she’d say to her blonde headed friend when they next saw each other; what made it worse was that she had no idea what Erica was going to say to her.
When lunch time finally came around Callie nervously headed to the cafeteria and grabbed two trays, filling them with their normal salads and cups of coffee and headed over to their usual table to wait for Erica. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves and tried once again to figure out what she was going to say; after all this was new to her and it was confusing in a really overwhelming, indescribable way. Callie took a sip of her coffee and leaned back in the chair, trying to relax her muscles; she knew she was attracted to Erica; she just needed to figure out when it first started.
Callie sighed as she slumped down into the chair; making Erica turn away from her lunch and give her a concerned look, “You okay Torres?”
Callie lifted her hands and placed the brown envelope on the table, pushing it towards Erica to indicate what the problem was, “George gave me our divorce papers today.”
Erica wiped her hands on her napkin and pulled the envelope into her hands; drawing out the stack of white paper; allowing her eyes to skim over it. Callie watched Erica’s brow furrow as she read through her divorce papers, noting how her blue eyes narrowed in irritation. Erica finished reading and lowered the papers back onto the table, “I’m sorry Callie.”
Callie gave her a sad smile, “I haven’t been able to sign them yet. I know I should but I just never thought I’d be one of those people who got divorced,” Erica was listening silently as Callie lifted her hand to wipe away the tears escaping from her eyes, “I just thought that when I got married that would be it, you know? I’d be set for the rest of my life because I’d found the person I was meant to be with.”
As Erica opened her mouth to reply Callie’s eyes moved swiftly from hers and past her head; causing her to turn and see what had suddenly grabbed her friend’s attention and immediately regretted it; George was sitting close with Izzie Stevens, as they looked at each other lovingly, laughing and giving out affectionate touches. Erica quickly turned back around and moved her chair so that she was blocking Callie’s view of them.
Callie couldn’t help the way her chest still clenched as she watched them together; more tears spilling from her eyes. Erica blocked her vision and reached out to cover her hand, “Callie…”
“I know, I know, you must think I’m a pathetic weak loser, who’s still in love with her scumbag husband that cheated on her for the hot stacked blonde model-”
Erica rubbed her thumb over her hand and passed her a spare napkin to wipe her eyes, “No, I was going to say that if that idiot couldn’t be bothered to choose you, to put you before his friends, then he never deserved to love you in the first place,” Erica made sure her eyes were locked on Callie’s as she spoke, wanting her to know she meant every word, “You deserve more, and so you should let him go, so that you can find someone else; someone who is wiling to make you their everything. O’Malley wasn’t the one for you Cal, because true love is selfless; it takes an equal balance of 50-50 to work, and from what I can tell you were pulling all the weight in that relationship.”
Callie sniffled as she wiped her eyes; giving Erica a genuine smile, “Can I borrow a pen?” Erica pulled a silver cased pen from her lab coat pocket and handed it to her; giving her an encouraging smile as she watched Callie sign her name on the divorce papers.
As Callie watched George leave the cafeteria laughing with Izzie she knew that Erica had been right that day, George hadn’t been the one for her, and Izzie hadn’t been the one for him; but maybe she should be thankful for their little affair because it reminded her that she was worth more, and she allowed herself to think that maybe, just maybe, Erica might have known all along that she could be the one to prove to her what she had been missing.
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Callie Torres was normally a happy person, she took everything at face value and accepted that it was what it was; and she expected no more and no less. But there were sometimes when she wanted more, and Erica arranging to meet her for lunch had been one of those times.
Callie had waited and waited for Erica to arrive, but as she watched the hands of the clock tick by, she realised that she’d been sitting on her own for nearly an hour, and she knew Erica wasn’t going to come. She’d bitten her lip in annoyance and accidentally drawn blood as she shoved the untouched food into the trash and headed back to the surgical wing; if Erica Hahn didn’t want to talk to her, then that was fine, she was done feeling guilty for ruining their friendship and she was sick of trying to fix it on her own.
Callie folded shut the chart she was writing in, placing it back in the rack as she leaned her elbows against the nurses’ station, bringing her hands up to cup her face; lazily rubbing her tired eyes.
Erica pulled her polka-dot scrub cap from her head as she rounded the corner and spotted Callie leaning against counter; Erica reached her and leaned back against the desk, twiddling the cap in her hands, “Hey,” Callie looked up at the sound of her voice, “I wanted to see-”
Callie’s brow knitted as she turned to look at the cardio surgeon, and couldn’t help the irritation creeping into her voice, “You didn’t show up at lunch, and I haven’t seen you all afternoon, so just save whatever you have to say; I get it alright? So just leave me alone and go away Erica,” Callie turned her gaze away from her and picked up another chart from the rack.
Erica grabbed Callie’s wrist and turned her back around so that she was facing her again, “Hey, I got stuck in an emergency surgery and I couldn’t page you; I’m sorry I miss-”
Callie pulled her wrist free and angrily cut Erica off again, “Whatever Dr Hahn; you haven’t even been able to look at me in the last couple of weeks, I should have known your promise was empty and you wouldn’t show,” Callie couldn’t stop her eyes from tearing up, there was something about Erica over these last two weeks that made her ache with hurt.
“Callie,” Erica grabbed her wrist again and tugged Callie closer, “Shut up and let me talk would you?” Callie gritted her teeth to stop from pulling away again, “I would have been there at lunch if it wasn’t for that surgery, I’ve been there for the last five hours and I didn’t have time to leave you a message; I’m sorry. But I just came over here to see if you wanted to come and grab a coffee with me now to make up for it. I want to talk to you,” Erica let her eyes bore into Callie’s, “Please?”
Callie swallowed the lump in her throat as she relaxed her face and stared at Erica in surprise, “So you haven’t gone back to avoiding me?”
“No, of course I haven’t,” Erica shook her head and looked a little hurt by Callie’s assumptions, “Please come and have coffee with me Cal…I’ll even pay,” she added with a playful smile.
Callie smiled apologetically, before teasing the blonde back, “Will you buy me a pastry to make up for lunch too?”
Erica let out a laugh, “Yeah Torres I’ll buy you a pastry; so will you please come and grab a coffee with me?”
Callie nodded and smiled, “Yeah Erica, I’d love to come and have coffee with you.”
They walked to the third floor coffee stand in silence, neither knowing where to start with this inevitable conversation. Erica ordered their coffees and handed over the money while Callie grabbed a pastry from the basket. Erica nodded her head to the railing that looked down on the level below and Callie led the way; leaning her elbow against it and accepting her coffee from Erica with her spare hand. They stood there drinking their coffees and looking over the railing for awhile, both daring glances at the other and getting caught out, causing them to laugh.
“This should be easier right?” Callie asked after she caught Erica looking at her for what seemed to be the tenth time.
Erica sighed and looked around, “Maybe it’s because there’s people around. I’d feel better if we could talk in private.”
Callie glanced around and took in the busy hustle of the hospital, nodding in agreement, “You could come over to the apartment tonight; Yang’s got to stay here for another week or so. We could grab a couple of bottles of wine, relax, and talk like we normally do?”
Erica saw Callie’s cheeks flush slightly as she realized what her suggestion might lead to but Erica just gave her a smile, “That sounds like a plan. I’m off at 8pm, what time are you off?”
“I’m off at 9pm; I could give you the key if you wanted to let yourself in and wait?”
“Why don’t I go home, shower and change, and grab the wine on my way over? That way we’ll both be there at the same time,” Erica gave her a small smile and Callie nodded in agreement, “You’ve got something,” Erica pointed to her lips and when Callie’s eyes widened in confusion, Erica reached out and brushed the stray piece of pastry from the top of her lip, “It’s gone.”
Callie smiled embarrassed at herself, and laughed timidly, “I should have a bib or something when I eat food, I’m always making a mess; it’s humiliating.”
Erica smiled and her blue eyes twinkled as they stared into Callie’s, “I think it’s cute,” Callie raised an eyebrow and Erica looked away quickly; taking another sip of her coffee. Callie followed her example and took a sip of her own coffee, watching as the people below them continued with their busy lives; completely unaware of the stolen moment they’d just missed.
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Callie had just finished drying her hair when she heard the knock at the door; checking herself in the mirror one last time, she headed to the door and took in a deep breath, “Hey,” Erica was standing nervously, holding a bottle of wine in each hand; not quite able to meet Callie’s eyes.
Callie pulled the door back further and gestured for Erica to come in; pushing shut the door behind them and heading into the kitchen to grab the wine glasses, “I got a bottle of both because one’s just never enough.”
Callie laughed and placed the glasses on the counter; taking the bottle of wine Erica held out to her and poured them both a large glass, “You want to sit down?” Erica nodded and took a long drink of the luxurious red liquid, enjoying the way it ran down her throat; before she followed Callie to the couch.
Callie sat down so that she was angled enough to be able to see Erica’s face as they talked, and as the blonde surgeon sat down on the couch with her she made sure to leave a good deal of space between them; which didn’t go unnoticed. Callie let out a shaky breath as she tried to open her mouth to begin the conversation; after all starting it was the hardest part, “So…”
“I’m not gay if that’s what you think!” Erica hadn’t meant to blurt it out but she couldn’t think of anything else to say; Callie laughed as she saw the intense look on Erica’s face, which quickly changed to anger, “Don’t laugh at me Callie.”
Callie stopped laughing straight away, realizing it had clearly been the wrong thing to do, “I'm sorry,” Callie shot Erica an apologetic smile and watched as Erica let out a shallow breath, “It's just that I've seen you dance with guys Erica, nothing about that suggested to me you were gay okay?”
Erica nodded, “Okay,” and then took a good few sips of her wine, before turning to look back at Callie, “I spent all afternoon after I saw you thinking about what I should say when I got here, but the truth is I have absolutely no idea what I’m supposed to say to you Callie,” She lifted a hand to her forehead and brushed aside some of her blonde locks.
“How do you think I feel? I’ve been trying to figure out what to say to you for the past two weeks. I keep having conversations with myself in my head about what I should say but it all seems so jumbled,” Callie agreed.
Erica twisted in her seat so that she was angled to face Callie and let her eyes travel over her face, taking everything about her in; making Callie fidget uncomfortably, “You kissed me,” Erica breathed when her eyes landed back on Callie’s.
Callie nibbled her bottom lip as Erica’s blue eyes searched hers, “Yeah…well you kissed me back.”
“Yeah,” Erica closed her eyes and took in a few deep breaths to steady her voice, “I wanted you to kiss me,” She slowly lifted her eyes from the ground to meet delicious brown orbs.
Callie swallowed the lump in her throat and felt her ears ringing from Erica’s unexpected confession, “Well I wanted to kiss you too,” Callie watched as a red blush travelled up Erica’s neck and settled on the fair skin of her cheeks.
“But after Addison said…You’re sleeping with Sloan,” Erica cautiously accused, unable to keep her eyes on Callie’s face, not wanting to see her reaction.
Callie leaned forward and placed her wine glass on the coffee table and then scooted closer to Erica, unwrapping her fingers from around her own glass and placed that on the table too; her hand covering Erica’s to draw her attention, “I was sleeping with Mark; I was freaked out and Mark was just…convenient. But I stopped sleeping with him,” Callie paused as she tried to find the right words, “Mark helped me realize that the reason I was sleeping with him was because I was really thinking about you,” Erica’s eyes widened in disbelief and Callie gave her a smile, “I can’t stop thinking about you Erica.”
Callie let her thumb trace lazy patterns over the soft skin of Erica’s hand as she made her brave confession and looked away as Erica opened her mouth to reply, “I can’t stop thinking about you either Cal,” breathing out from her lips, making Callie’s eyes instantly lock onto hers again, “I think it’s safe to say that I’m pretty damn sure that I’m crazy about you,” Callie let out a happy sigh and Erica smiled, “But knowing that really scares the shit out of me; I’m out of my depth here, I don’t know what any of this means.”
Callie saw Erica’s eyes tear up; quickly turning her face away so that Callie wouldn’t see, “I feel exactly the same as you Erica; trust me I’m terrified of having feelings for you,” Callie lifted her hand to cup Erica’s cheek and bring her face back to face her; giving her a reassuring smile, “But I’m even more terrified to not have feelings for you…You make me happy.”
Erica let out a laugh and smiled as Callie wiped away the tears that had managed to escape from her eyes, “You make me happy too; you really are amazing Torres.”
Callie laughed, “Well I try to be,” she lifted Erica’s hands to her mouth and placed a gentle kiss across her knuckles, “I want to be with you Erica.”
“I want to be with you too,” Erica leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on Callie’s cheek and pulled back in time to see a blush appearing on her caramel skin, “What’d we do now?”
Callie thought for a moment and then shrugged, “I say we just do what we normally do except now we...be coupley.”
Erica raised an eyebrow, “Be coupley? What the hell does that even mean?”
Callie laughed at the bemused look on Erica’s face, “You know, like we could maybe go on a date, and do this,” Callie let her fingers entwine with Erica’s; loving the way their hands just seemed to fit together. Callie saw Erica smile and leaned her head slowly towards her, murmuring “And maybe we could,” Erica instinctively moved forward; letting their lips lightly brush.
Callie closed her eyes as Erica leaned in to her and felt their lips brush; both jumping apart as a loud ringtone filled the silence. She grabbed her phone from the table and flicked it open, ending the noise and discovering who had interrupted them. Callie narrowed her eyes at the text; Yang was so going to pay for this tomorrow.
“Sorry, it was Cristina,” Callie explained as she chucked the phone back onto the table and turned to see Erica standing.
“It’s late, I should go,” Erica stumbled, clearly nervous as she headed to the kitchen to retrieve her bag. Callie glanced at the clock, 2.30am, damn it was late and they were both on at 6am.
Callie followed Erica into the kitchen and held out her hand; Erica smiled and reached out to take it, letting Callie lead her to the door. Callie opened it but didn’t let go of Erica’s hand, “We’re good right?”
“Yeah we’re good,” Erica smiled happily, “Really good,” she leaned in and placed a kiss on Callie’s cheek, pulling back and muttering, “See you at work,” as she left.
Callie closed the door and turned to lean against it; shutting her eyes, revelling in the way the night had gone. If there was one reason Callie hated phones, it was because of their terrible timing, and if there was one reason why Erica hated Cristina, Callie was pretty sure this one would knock any surgical issues off the top spot; Yang was so going to pay the price for ruining the moment they’d both been waiting for the past two weeks.