Fic: Not So Funny Girl
Title: Not So Funny Girl
Author: thealpaca
Pairing: Rachel/Quinn, side Brittany/Santana
Rating: PG
Length: 2,497
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Glee isn’t mine, neither are the characters. Also, the song does not belongs me.
Summary: Written for this prompt posted at the rq_meme.
A/N: Hopefully this is okay with what the poster wanted! I don’t know what it is about me and making them sing in the fics. I think it’s just because that’s how I feel all problems should be solved in Glee! But yes, singing occurs briefly.
A/N 2: Clearly, I have no life...since I've written several fics in a very short period of time.
Not So Funny Girl
Quinn walked up to the Berry household, bag in hand, prepared for another amazing sleepover date night with her girlfriend. She knocked on the door and waited as she heard the clanking of pans from the kitchen and the sound of footsteps quickly approaching the front door.
Rachel swung the door open and grinned giddily at her gorgeous date. Quinn was wearing a light, flowy red and white striped dress with a black belt added to accentuate her hips. She looked the girl up and down before pulling her in for a soft kiss. “You’re early,” the chipper brunette said as she pulled back.
“Well, I know how you hate tardiness. I thought maybe I could help you cook this time.”
Rachel smiled again at the thoughtfulness of her girlfriend. “Well, while that is a lovely thought, I’ve actually almost finished.” She turned to walk back into the kitchen and said over her shoulder, “However, I haven’t set our places at the table, so you could do that if you so choose.”
Quinn nodded even though she knew that Rachel couldn’t see her. As she followed her girlfriend into the kitchen she glanced over to the living room. Candles had been set out, as well as a stack of movies. She felt light inside, knowing that tonight was going to be perfect.
After a great dinner full of small talk and a lot of laughing the girls headed into Rachel’s living room to pop in a movie and cuddle on the couch. Once again, Rachel had chosen a few movies that she wanted to see and allowed Quinn to choose one from her stack. As Quinn glanced through the movies she sighed, noticing that they were all Barbara Streisand movies; Yentl, The Way We Were, Hello, Dolly! and Funny Girl. She really didn’t feel up to watching yet another Barbara movie, it was like that’s all Rachel ever wanted to do. But, to appease her girlfriend she chose Funny Girl and sat on the couch arms crossed over her chest.
Rachel’s eyes lit up. “This one is my favorite!” she squealed and she hopped over to the DVD player to begin the movie.
Quinn couldn’t help but let a smile drift back onto her face as Rachel took a spot next to her on the couch and nuzzled into her neck. She wrapped her arms around the smaller girl and pulled her in closer as the overture played and Fanny Brice appeared on the screen. Quinn sighed, this was just not her type of movie. She looked down at her girlfriend in her arms and leaned forward to kiss the top of her head. She got lost in her own thoughts of what was going to happen later in the night until she was brought back to the movie hearing Rachel quietly singing along with the movie. “I'm the greatest star, I am by far but no one knows it. That's why I was born, I’ll blow my horn…”
Quinn leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to her girlfriend’s lips. “Babe, you are the greatest star. You’re so much better than her already.”
Rachel sits up and breaks her girlfriend’s embrace. Quirking an eyebrow she asks, “What do you mean, Quinn?”
Quinn looked a bit shocked at how Rachel was taking the compliment she had just muttered. “I mean, you’re amazing. Your voice is powerful and can send shockwaves through anyone that listens to you. She’s all right, but come on, babe, you’re only in high school and you have a lot more talent than Barbara.”
Rachel’s face turns stone cold. Uh oh… Quinn immediately knew she had said something wrong. She opened her mouth to try to take back the words that had just come out of her mouth.
Before she could say anything though Rachel began to scowl and she leaned forward and spoke. “Are you trying to say that the Barbara Streisand has little to no talent? That anyone could possibly be greater than her? Granted, I’m sure if anyone ever were to be greater than her that it would be me, but she is MUCH better than all right. She is amazing. She is a legend! A goddess even!”
Quinn had never realized just how much Barbara had meant to her girlfriend. “I’m sorry, Rach, it’s just…you know…I’m not really into that stuff like you are.” Quinn tried leaning forward to pull her girlfriend back to her. “She just doesn’t really do it for me.”
Rachel’s face turned from angry to shocked and appalled. She pushed the advancing Quinn backward and stood up from the couch. “I cannot believe you just said that!” She huffed and turned her expression back to a glare. “I think you should leave, Quinn.”
At those words Quinn’s jaw dropped. “You’re kidding, right? I’m not allowed to have a different opinion than you?”
“Not when it comes to Barbara!” Rachel’s stare burned a hole through Quinn. “Now go home, I’m too upset with you to let this date continue any further it has by far been the worst one we have ever had, including the time when you made real bacon and convinced me that it was soy bacon! I was sick for a week!”
Quinn stood and walked to the front of the house, still unsure of exactly what was going on. She glanced over her shoulder to see the brunette standing in the same place in the living room, continuing her death stare. She shivered as she stepped back out of the house and walked back to her car. She had never been sent home from the Berry house, ever. This needed to be fixed, and fast.
The next day at school Quinn got to school extra early so that she could talk to Rachel about the previous night. Before she had gone to school she stopped by a drug store and bought a single rose and an “I’m Sorry” card. The card depicted a couple with their backs turned toward one another, both looking upset with the words “I’m sorry…” at the top. On the inside it read, “I realize I was wrong, making up with you would mean the world to me.” It was perfect. It was romantic and it acknowledged that she was in the wrong, both of which she knew Rachel would appreciate. She opened her girlfriends locker and placed the rose and card on top of the pile school books.
When she saw Rachel coming she quickly closed the locker and walked away so that it could be a cute surprise. Rachel put in her combination and opened the door, immediately spying the card. She picked it up and, without looking at it threw it into her bag with a scowl. She picked up the rose and after collecting her things she walked toward Quinn and shoved the rose back at her girlfriend. The blonde watched as a still pissed off Rachel walked away from her and to her first class. This was going to take more work than she thought.
At that very moment Brittany and Santana walked through the doors of McKinley High and a lightbulb went off in Quinn’s head. “Hey,” she said approaching the couple. “You guys are in first period with Rachel, right?”
Santana sneered, “Yeah, unfortuantely. We try to forget about that misfortune.”
Quinn rolled her eyes. “Well, we’re fighting right now and she won’t talk to me. Could you guys, I don’t know, talk to her or something? Try to get me back on her good side.”
“What are you fighting about?” Santana quirked an eyebrow. The other couple was disgustingly cute together and they never fought. She must have done something really bad to get on Berry’s bad side.
Quinn looked down, her face turning a light shade of red. “I insulted Barbara.”
“Who’s Barbara?” Brittany asked.
“Barbara Streisand,” Quinn replied. When the confused look remained on the other blonde’s face she elaborated. “You know, famous actress, funny girl, Rachel’s idol. The reason her middle name is Barbara.”
Santana scoffed. “Her middle name is Barbara? And seriously? You’re fighting over some crummy actress?”
Quinn laughed a little at how ridiculous it was. “Yeah, it was really dumb. She made me watch another one of her movies last night and all I did was say that I thought that she was all right. Rachel freaked and completely overreacted, but I don’t really feel like dealing with this fight anymore, so could you guys just help me out?”
Brittany smiled, “Sure, Q! No problem!” Santana glared at the tall blond, but her expression relaxed itself when she saw how lit up her face was at the idea of helping out her friend with love.
Quinn pulled Brittany into a hug. “Thanks, B,” she said turning her attention to the Latina, “and make sure to be nice.”
Santana rolled her eyes and dragged Brittany along as the bell rang, signaling that they were all going to be late to class. They stepped into their classroom and searched until they spied the angry diva sitting alone near the back of the classroom. The two Cheerios walked back to her and took a seat on either side of her.
Rachel looked up from her desk at the other two girls. “Can I help you ladies?”
“Yeah, pull the stick out of your ass and talk to Quinn again,” Santana said before she could stop herself. “I mean,” she remembered Quinn telling her to be nice, “she seems pretty upset about whatever happened. She’s really beating herself up over it.”
Rachel started to look a little concerned. She admitted to herself that she had overreacted a tad, and maybe if Quinn was really that upset about their fight she would be able to forgive her quickly and move on. She was about to voice this opinion when Brittany spoke up. “How is she beating herself up? She said that Rachel was dumb for acting like that.” Rachel’s face suddenly flushed red with anger. Nevermind, she could stay angry with Quinn for days.
Santana tried to correct for her girlfriend’s comment, “No, Berry, she didn’t say that YOU were dumb. She just said that the fight was dumb. I mean, really, it was a bit ridiculous to fight over some lame old actress…”
Rachel interrupted, “Lame? OLD? Thank you ladies, for telling me how Quinn really feels. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”
“But, Rach…” Brittany started.
“No thank you, Brittany. I’ve heard enough.” Rachel stood from her desk and walked across the room to take a different seat.
Santana and Brittany exchanged knowing glances as if to say “oops”. They had definitely not helped things get any better.
Quinn found Rachel again at her locker between classes. “Rachel!” she shouted running up to her girlfriend, hoping that things would be better between them.
Rachel turned with a glare. “If you thought sending your cheerleader friends to insult Barbara again to my face would help anything you were sorely mistaken, Quinn. I suggest you make different plans for tonight, because although I may have forgiven you by the end of school today when I was given enough time to get over what you said last night, now that I have heard that I am dumb for liking a lame, old actree I promise you, Quinn Fabray, that I can stay angry for a very, very long time.”
“Babe, come on,” Quinn begged as Rachel turned from her to walk to her next class. “I love you and I’m sorry. Let’s just move past this!” The words she yelled fell on deaf ears as her girlfriend continued to storm off in the other direction.
Okay, now Quinn was irritated. Not only was she in a stupid fight with her stubborn girlfriend, but her best friends went and screwed everything up even more. After school she hunted for the girls before they could leave. “You two,” she said angrily. “You messed things up. Now you get to help me fix it.”
Around eight o’clock Rachel was sitting in her room, reading a book and trying to forget the events of the day. She still couldn’t believe that Quinn had actually trusted Brittany and Santana with the task of trying to make up with her. She wondered why Quinn hadn’t even tried to talk to her herself, she gave her a card but didn’t talk to her and then sent those two to fix things. She sighed wondering what on earth that girl had been thinking.
She heard a soft hum of harmonization coming from her window. Curious as to what the noise was, she walked over to the window to see Quinn, Brittany and Santana all standing in her front yard in matching outfits. They had their hair pulled back into tight pony tails and they were wearing white pants and white dress shirts, with loosely tied black ties around their necks. She opened her window to let the sound enter and fill her room as the girls began to sing acapella. Quinn took the lead as Brittany and Santana hummed and sang back up vocals.
“Everybody needs a little time away
I've heard her say
From each other…”
Quinn locked eyes with Rachel. She sure hoped this would work.
“Even lovers need a holiday
Far away from each other.”
She stepped forward away from the other two girls and closer to Rachel’s house as her girlfriend leaned farther out the window to see her better. Suddenly, she noticed a ladder against her house that hadn’t been there before. Quinn began to climb the ladder, still singing and maintaining as much eye contact as she could.
“Hold me now.
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry.
I just want you to stay.
And after all that you've been through,
I will make it up to you,
I promise you, baby.”
Now Quinn was standing at the top of the ladder, face to face with her Rachel Berry. She smile at her girlfriend, who was now blushing at what was happening. Her smile was returned as Rachel’s eyes lit up once again. So she continued.
“And after all thats been said and done,
You're just the part of me I can't let go…”
Rachel leaned forward and pulled Quinn toward her into a deep kiss. The two Cheerios that were still in her yard hummed an “ooh” together as the lovers on the ladder continued kissing, forgetting the world around them.
Rachel pulled back, still beaming. “You know, this whole apology was a little bit outrageous. I feel a bit like Juliet.”
“Yeah, but you loved it,” Quinn said as her lips curled up.
“Absolutely, Romeo,” Rachel replied winking. And with that she helped Quinn climb into the window. Quinn couldn’t help but think to herself that things couldn’t have gone better with her amazing girlfriend. Their date definitely had a perfect ending.
Author: thealpaca
Pairing: Rachel/Quinn, side Brittany/Santana
Rating: PG
Length: 2,497
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Glee isn’t mine, neither are the characters. Also, the song does not belongs me.
Summary: Written for this prompt posted at the rq_meme.
A/N: Hopefully this is okay with what the poster wanted! I don’t know what it is about me and making them sing in the fics. I think it’s just because that’s how I feel all problems should be solved in Glee! But yes, singing occurs briefly.
A/N 2: Clearly, I have no life...since I've written several fics in a very short period of time.
Not So Funny Girl
Quinn walked up to the Berry household, bag in hand, prepared for another amazing sleepover date night with her girlfriend. She knocked on the door and waited as she heard the clanking of pans from the kitchen and the sound of footsteps quickly approaching the front door.
Rachel swung the door open and grinned giddily at her gorgeous date. Quinn was wearing a light, flowy red and white striped dress with a black belt added to accentuate her hips. She looked the girl up and down before pulling her in for a soft kiss. “You’re early,” the chipper brunette said as she pulled back.
“Well, I know how you hate tardiness. I thought maybe I could help you cook this time.”
Rachel smiled again at the thoughtfulness of her girlfriend. “Well, while that is a lovely thought, I’ve actually almost finished.” She turned to walk back into the kitchen and said over her shoulder, “However, I haven’t set our places at the table, so you could do that if you so choose.”
Quinn nodded even though she knew that Rachel couldn’t see her. As she followed her girlfriend into the kitchen she glanced over to the living room. Candles had been set out, as well as a stack of movies. She felt light inside, knowing that tonight was going to be perfect.
After a great dinner full of small talk and a lot of laughing the girls headed into Rachel’s living room to pop in a movie and cuddle on the couch. Once again, Rachel had chosen a few movies that she wanted to see and allowed Quinn to choose one from her stack. As Quinn glanced through the movies she sighed, noticing that they were all Barbara Streisand movies; Yentl, The Way We Were, Hello, Dolly! and Funny Girl. She really didn’t feel up to watching yet another Barbara movie, it was like that’s all Rachel ever wanted to do. But, to appease her girlfriend she chose Funny Girl and sat on the couch arms crossed over her chest.
Rachel’s eyes lit up. “This one is my favorite!” she squealed and she hopped over to the DVD player to begin the movie.
Quinn couldn’t help but let a smile drift back onto her face as Rachel took a spot next to her on the couch and nuzzled into her neck. She wrapped her arms around the smaller girl and pulled her in closer as the overture played and Fanny Brice appeared on the screen. Quinn sighed, this was just not her type of movie. She looked down at her girlfriend in her arms and leaned forward to kiss the top of her head. She got lost in her own thoughts of what was going to happen later in the night until she was brought back to the movie hearing Rachel quietly singing along with the movie. “I'm the greatest star, I am by far but no one knows it. That's why I was born, I’ll blow my horn…”
Quinn leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to her girlfriend’s lips. “Babe, you are the greatest star. You’re so much better than her already.”
Rachel sits up and breaks her girlfriend’s embrace. Quirking an eyebrow she asks, “What do you mean, Quinn?”
Quinn looked a bit shocked at how Rachel was taking the compliment she had just muttered. “I mean, you’re amazing. Your voice is powerful and can send shockwaves through anyone that listens to you. She’s all right, but come on, babe, you’re only in high school and you have a lot more talent than Barbara.”
Rachel’s face turns stone cold. Uh oh… Quinn immediately knew she had said something wrong. She opened her mouth to try to take back the words that had just come out of her mouth.
Before she could say anything though Rachel began to scowl and she leaned forward and spoke. “Are you trying to say that the Barbara Streisand has little to no talent? That anyone could possibly be greater than her? Granted, I’m sure if anyone ever were to be greater than her that it would be me, but she is MUCH better than all right. She is amazing. She is a legend! A goddess even!”
Quinn had never realized just how much Barbara had meant to her girlfriend. “I’m sorry, Rach, it’s just…you know…I’m not really into that stuff like you are.” Quinn tried leaning forward to pull her girlfriend back to her. “She just doesn’t really do it for me.”
Rachel’s face turned from angry to shocked and appalled. She pushed the advancing Quinn backward and stood up from the couch. “I cannot believe you just said that!” She huffed and turned her expression back to a glare. “I think you should leave, Quinn.”
At those words Quinn’s jaw dropped. “You’re kidding, right? I’m not allowed to have a different opinion than you?”
“Not when it comes to Barbara!” Rachel’s stare burned a hole through Quinn. “Now go home, I’m too upset with you to let this date continue any further it has by far been the worst one we have ever had, including the time when you made real bacon and convinced me that it was soy bacon! I was sick for a week!”
Quinn stood and walked to the front of the house, still unsure of exactly what was going on. She glanced over her shoulder to see the brunette standing in the same place in the living room, continuing her death stare. She shivered as she stepped back out of the house and walked back to her car. She had never been sent home from the Berry house, ever. This needed to be fixed, and fast.
The next day at school Quinn got to school extra early so that she could talk to Rachel about the previous night. Before she had gone to school she stopped by a drug store and bought a single rose and an “I’m Sorry” card. The card depicted a couple with their backs turned toward one another, both looking upset with the words “I’m sorry…” at the top. On the inside it read, “I realize I was wrong, making up with you would mean the world to me.” It was perfect. It was romantic and it acknowledged that she was in the wrong, both of which she knew Rachel would appreciate. She opened her girlfriends locker and placed the rose and card on top of the pile school books.
When she saw Rachel coming she quickly closed the locker and walked away so that it could be a cute surprise. Rachel put in her combination and opened the door, immediately spying the card. She picked it up and, without looking at it threw it into her bag with a scowl. She picked up the rose and after collecting her things she walked toward Quinn and shoved the rose back at her girlfriend. The blonde watched as a still pissed off Rachel walked away from her and to her first class. This was going to take more work than she thought.
At that very moment Brittany and Santana walked through the doors of McKinley High and a lightbulb went off in Quinn’s head. “Hey,” she said approaching the couple. “You guys are in first period with Rachel, right?”
Santana sneered, “Yeah, unfortuantely. We try to forget about that misfortune.”
Quinn rolled her eyes. “Well, we’re fighting right now and she won’t talk to me. Could you guys, I don’t know, talk to her or something? Try to get me back on her good side.”
“What are you fighting about?” Santana quirked an eyebrow. The other couple was disgustingly cute together and they never fought. She must have done something really bad to get on Berry’s bad side.
Quinn looked down, her face turning a light shade of red. “I insulted Barbara.”
“Who’s Barbara?” Brittany asked.
“Barbara Streisand,” Quinn replied. When the confused look remained on the other blonde’s face she elaborated. “You know, famous actress, funny girl, Rachel’s idol. The reason her middle name is Barbara.”
Santana scoffed. “Her middle name is Barbara? And seriously? You’re fighting over some crummy actress?”
Quinn laughed a little at how ridiculous it was. “Yeah, it was really dumb. She made me watch another one of her movies last night and all I did was say that I thought that she was all right. Rachel freaked and completely overreacted, but I don’t really feel like dealing with this fight anymore, so could you guys just help me out?”
Brittany smiled, “Sure, Q! No problem!” Santana glared at the tall blond, but her expression relaxed itself when she saw how lit up her face was at the idea of helping out her friend with love.
Quinn pulled Brittany into a hug. “Thanks, B,” she said turning her attention to the Latina, “and make sure to be nice.”
Santana rolled her eyes and dragged Brittany along as the bell rang, signaling that they were all going to be late to class. They stepped into their classroom and searched until they spied the angry diva sitting alone near the back of the classroom. The two Cheerios walked back to her and took a seat on either side of her.
Rachel looked up from her desk at the other two girls. “Can I help you ladies?”
“Yeah, pull the stick out of your ass and talk to Quinn again,” Santana said before she could stop herself. “I mean,” she remembered Quinn telling her to be nice, “she seems pretty upset about whatever happened. She’s really beating herself up over it.”
Rachel started to look a little concerned. She admitted to herself that she had overreacted a tad, and maybe if Quinn was really that upset about their fight she would be able to forgive her quickly and move on. She was about to voice this opinion when Brittany spoke up. “How is she beating herself up? She said that Rachel was dumb for acting like that.” Rachel’s face suddenly flushed red with anger. Nevermind, she could stay angry with Quinn for days.
Santana tried to correct for her girlfriend’s comment, “No, Berry, she didn’t say that YOU were dumb. She just said that the fight was dumb. I mean, really, it was a bit ridiculous to fight over some lame old actress…”
Rachel interrupted, “Lame? OLD? Thank you ladies, for telling me how Quinn really feels. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”
“But, Rach…” Brittany started.
“No thank you, Brittany. I’ve heard enough.” Rachel stood from her desk and walked across the room to take a different seat.
Santana and Brittany exchanged knowing glances as if to say “oops”. They had definitely not helped things get any better.
Quinn found Rachel again at her locker between classes. “Rachel!” she shouted running up to her girlfriend, hoping that things would be better between them.
Rachel turned with a glare. “If you thought sending your cheerleader friends to insult Barbara again to my face would help anything you were sorely mistaken, Quinn. I suggest you make different plans for tonight, because although I may have forgiven you by the end of school today when I was given enough time to get over what you said last night, now that I have heard that I am dumb for liking a lame, old actree I promise you, Quinn Fabray, that I can stay angry for a very, very long time.”
“Babe, come on,” Quinn begged as Rachel turned from her to walk to her next class. “I love you and I’m sorry. Let’s just move past this!” The words she yelled fell on deaf ears as her girlfriend continued to storm off in the other direction.
Okay, now Quinn was irritated. Not only was she in a stupid fight with her stubborn girlfriend, but her best friends went and screwed everything up even more. After school she hunted for the girls before they could leave. “You two,” she said angrily. “You messed things up. Now you get to help me fix it.”
Around eight o’clock Rachel was sitting in her room, reading a book and trying to forget the events of the day. She still couldn’t believe that Quinn had actually trusted Brittany and Santana with the task of trying to make up with her. She wondered why Quinn hadn’t even tried to talk to her herself, she gave her a card but didn’t talk to her and then sent those two to fix things. She sighed wondering what on earth that girl had been thinking.
She heard a soft hum of harmonization coming from her window. Curious as to what the noise was, she walked over to the window to see Quinn, Brittany and Santana all standing in her front yard in matching outfits. They had their hair pulled back into tight pony tails and they were wearing white pants and white dress shirts, with loosely tied black ties around their necks. She opened her window to let the sound enter and fill her room as the girls began to sing acapella. Quinn took the lead as Brittany and Santana hummed and sang back up vocals.
“Everybody needs a little time away
I've heard her say
From each other…”
Quinn locked eyes with Rachel. She sure hoped this would work.
“Even lovers need a holiday
Far away from each other.”
She stepped forward away from the other two girls and closer to Rachel’s house as her girlfriend leaned farther out the window to see her better. Suddenly, she noticed a ladder against her house that hadn’t been there before. Quinn began to climb the ladder, still singing and maintaining as much eye contact as she could.
“Hold me now.
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry.
I just want you to stay.
And after all that you've been through,
I will make it up to you,
I promise you, baby.”
Now Quinn was standing at the top of the ladder, face to face with her Rachel Berry. She smile at her girlfriend, who was now blushing at what was happening. Her smile was returned as Rachel’s eyes lit up once again. So she continued.
“And after all thats been said and done,
You're just the part of me I can't let go…”
Rachel leaned forward and pulled Quinn toward her into a deep kiss. The two Cheerios that were still in her yard hummed an “ooh” together as the lovers on the ladder continued kissing, forgetting the world around them.
Rachel pulled back, still beaming. “You know, this whole apology was a little bit outrageous. I feel a bit like Juliet.”
“Yeah, but you loved it,” Quinn said as her lips curled up.
“Absolutely, Romeo,” Rachel replied winking. And with that she helped Quinn climb into the window. Quinn couldn’t help but think to herself that things couldn’t have gone better with her amazing girlfriend. Their date definitely had a perfect ending.