Grrr.

That was ridiculous.

Ugh. Sometimes it just feels futile ( Read more... )

Another day.

Holy crap. I think I finally got the "urias debt" over and done with. Oh man.

It's one thing to find something new. It's another thing to leave everything old behind. I feel abandoned by so many people, it's ridiculous. Hopefully no one feels that way toward me...but I can think of a few that might. To those who may at some point read this, I'm very, very sorry if I've left you behind in my ignorance, and I'm very pissed ( Read more... )

Entering into deprived numbness.

That gig was beautiful. We were one of only three out of seven bands that actually showed up, and one of only two that stayed the whole time. We loaded up my dad's new Saturn station wagon, took off, got lost, and finally made it to the London Billiards/Club Oasis. We played at 9, for literally the members of the two bands that were there, and ( Read more... )

I sometimes just don't know what's wrong with me. I long for more than what I have? Why? I should be content, but I'm not. I should be happy, but I'm not. I should feel lucky, but I don't. I still feel insecure and unattractive and incapable. I still feel a huge lack of confidence. I constantly long for what I don't have, and I constantly ( Read more... )

Wrote two new songs with the band, over the last few days, so I thought I would share them with everyone ( Read more... )

I am drained like crazy right now. I'm entirely out of money, and Urias is still being a dick and not paying me the money that he owes me, that I need to move on with my life since he fucked me over so long ago. I don't understand how he can say that I am still his "best friend", and then continue to ignore me when I need him to fix the mistakes ( Read more... )